“Is there something you forgot to tell me, Michael?” he asks, barely loud enough for me to hear.
“About what brother?”
“About the night my wife died.”
He knows something is missing. He knows but he should also know he won’t get the truth out of me. I keep my mouth shut.
“Nothing to say?” he carries on.
“No.”
“You don’t want to explain how the back window got shot out? Micky told me it was fine when he left you both.”
Another reason to hate Micky, not only did he slow down Rayna’s help, he ratted out the truck window.
“What happened between the side of the road and the hospital?”
Again, I have to lie.
“Nothing. Micky probably didn’t notice in the rush to get her to the hospital, I didn’t” I shrug.
He nods slowly and returns to looking at the grave.
“If I find out you’re lying to me…”
He doesn’t finish and he doesn’t have to, I understand.
He walks over to Kitty and takes the baby from her, then carrying on to his truck. I stay where I am at the grave and bend down bended knee.
“I swear to you darlin’, I’m going to make them pay. For you Ray, I love you darlin’.”
OAK
Dragging my heavy boots up the stairs, all I want is to finish the bottle of whiskey I carry in my hand and fall asleep. I can’t remember the last time I slept more than an hour at a time. Half of me can’t believe Rayna is gone and the other half won’t believe it. She wasn’t as loud as Flo or fiery as Kitty, she wasn’t even ballsy like Shellie. She was content to be quiet and do what she like, when she like. But that never detracted from her larger than life attitude she had. Everyone knew and loved her and she didn’t need to do a thing to earn it. It was her strong will and kindness that drew people to her.
I slow down when I see my door already ajar. No one should be in there.
Nudging it open further, Shellie is inside, I thought she went home. I had told her I would join her soon so obviously she didn’t believe me.
“What the fuck are you doin’?” I ask, roughly when I see her packing her things she has left here in a holdall.
“I can’t do this anymore,” she says, her voice thick with tears.
“Do what?” I ask, confused.
“This!” she yells, spinning around to face me.
Sighing heavily, it registers what she means. She carries on packing and disappears into the bathroom.
While she’s in there, I unpack the shit she’s already packed.
“What are you doing?” she cries, coming out to see the shit on the floor.
I don’t want her to go. Why is she doing this today of all days?
“Why are you doing this?”
She stops repacking and stares at me.
“Where do you see us in the future?”
“Here,” I shrug.
I don’t know where this going, but I know I don’t like it.
“Exactly, I don’t want to be here any longer, John. I don’t want to die with only this being my life.”
All this because Rayna died? She’s spooked, that’s all this is. It’s a dick move I’m about to make but I have no choice.
“Don’t go, please, I love you.”
Her cackle sends vibrations through my body.
“You are not using that line again on me, John. If you truly love me then come with me. We can get far away from here and start over. Mark isn’t going to be the same again, do you think he’s going to give a damn about this club now he’s lost Rayna?”
No, she can’t be asking for this.
“I won’t give my club up.”
“But you’ll give me up? This is why I need to go, I know I don’t come first with you. I want to be someone’s first priority, John.”
She’s the only one to call me by my birth name, the night Benny was shot and Mark found her hiding by the body she needed something real. She was so focused on my nickname in her shock, it was something she needed to hear. Ever since she has called me John and I didn’t mind. I liked the fact she did and only her.
She sighs heavily and sinks onto the bed.
“You have given me so much over the years and I will always be grateful to you but Rayna’s death has shown me no one is invisible. I don’t want to be here and you won’t leave with me. We have to say goodbye.”
She sheds no tears, she is serious this time.
“Where will you go?”
“To my moms, she’s expecting me.”
I sink onto the bed next to her and drop the whiskey to the floor.
“There is nothing I can say to make you stay, is there?”
“It’s not what you say, it’s what you won’t do for me. Come on John, unless you’ll come with me there’s nothing left to say.”
Deep down I know I have to let her go, I won’t leave the club and she won’t stay, all I want is for her to be happy and for her to be that, I can’t stand in her way. But I’ll try one last time, just because I’m a selfish bastard.
“Please don’t do this, Pen.”
She laughs lightly and holds my hand.
“I’ll always love you but the longer I stay here, the less I will feel about you and I don’t want to hate you.”
“Then you should go.”
I remain on the bed as she repacks her things and puts her jacket on.
“Will you at least let me know you arrive safely at your moms?”
“Sure.”
I nod once and stand myself.
“Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”
She takes hold of my hand one last time and I realize how much I’m going to miss her being around but at the same time, the closer we get to her car, the lighter I feel knowing I don’t have anyone to run back to when I want to be at the clubhouse.
Slinging her bag on the backseat she goes to get into the car but stops herself.
“Thank you,” she smiles.
“For what?”
“Loving me enough to let me go.”
I pull her into me and kiss her long and hard. No longer my lips but the lips I have been kissing for over five years.
She pulls away and let’s go off my hand.
“Goodbye, John.”
The sound of her door slamming shut and the engine roaring to life snaps me out of my daze.
I watch until her car disappears into the distance and vow not to lose anyone else. Shellie was wrong, Mark isn’t going to be the same again without Rayna but he isn’t going to lose himself from the club.
Turning from one problem to another, I head for the main house and don’t bother to knock when I get to the door.
Mark is laying on the floor on top of a blanket with the baby asleep next to him. He doesn’t move when I come in or acknowledge my arrival.
“How’s she doin’?” I ask, taking a seat on the couch.
“She’s good. I was just wondering if she notices Rayna’s absence.”
“We all do.”
He still doesn’t move and continues to stare at the kid. I hate to think it, but Shellie’s rant about Mark being lost might be right.
“Shellie’s gone.”
I’m hoping this will at least pull him away from the kid and it does.
“What do you mean gone?”
“She left, she can’t be with me anymore. Something to do with wanting more than this place,” I shrug.
“She might be right,” he forces out, looking away from me.
“Don’t talk shit, brother.”
He strokes the baby’s cheek lightly and goes silent.
“She isn’t right and you know it, above everything that is going on at the moment, you know it.”
“I don’t know anything anymore. I made this club to feel a part of something. A place where everyone didn’t have to worry about anything, not just for us but for their families too. How can I make them feel like I can take care of them wh
en I can’t take care of my own blood?”
“I know you’re hurting Mark, but you’ve got men out there depending on you because they’re loyal and respectful to you. They know you’re hurting bad and they’re waiting on you. They’re here for you brother, we all are. I’ll round everyone up in the backroom for you, they need you as much as you need them. Use us to get through this.”
I leave him to it and hope like fuck he listens.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
MARK
A leader is someone who is strong to lead the masses. I don’t feel strong, I feel broken. But I still feel like I should give everyone an explanation.
Sliding my hands under Alannah as carefully as I can not to wake her, I cradle her to my chest and take her into the kitchen.
“Can you put her in her crib, I need to go out for a while,” I ask, passing Alannah over to Flo.
“Sure I can, it’s good that you’re getting out the house,” she smiles brightly.
Kissing Alannah on her small, soft head I walk out of the kitchen. The walk from the house and through the bar to the backroom almost feels foreign. Almost like I am walking this path I have walked many times a different man.
I sit at the head of the table and wait for the prospect to close the door, shutting us in the room.
“First of all, I want to apologize for not being around lately…”
“Don’t worry about it, boss,” Big Ron cuts in.
“But I do, I started this club for us, to keep us together and safe. I thought we had it all, life was going so good. We were making good money and our families within the club were growing. I haven’t been myself lately and if you bear with me, I’ll be back. I don’t know when but I will be.”
“Take all the time you need,” Micky says.
“Thanks, now more than ever we stay tight and it is vital that this club remains strong.” I take a deep breath before carrying on, “With Rayna gone, my daughter is my sole priority and her safety outweighs everything at the moment. I need to know she is protected at all times, I can’t let anything happen to her too.”
“No one who isn’t us is getting near her, Mark,” Micky promises me.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say, he promised to look out for Rayna but I keep my mouth shut and look around the table. At this point I’m more afraid of natural accidents. These men staring back at me are here for me and my daughter. They’re here because I gave them a home and a family and family is there for one another.
“I’m going to be making some changes around here. Firstly, in the future, while we’re on runs at least two patched in members will stay back with the women and Alannah. You’re old ladies are more than welcome to stay here and children too. Secondly, I know many of you have disagreed with the way I ran things regarding the Raging Riders, only striking back after they attacked first. Now, it’s open fucking season on the cunts. You see one riding too close to town, take them out. One attacks in public, attack back and I pray it never happens but you see one near here, you bring him to me and we set an almighty fucking example.”
Shock rounds the table and for the first time in days, I see Michael smile.
“Why the change, Mark?” Oak is the only one to ask.
“Like I said, there are going to be some changes. I’ve always tried to keep the violence to a minimum but it only makes us look weak. I want us to be strong inside in the club and to the outside. Any threat will be eliminated.”
“It’s about fuckin’ time,” Michael cheers.
I bring the gavel down hard and leave.
Alannah and my club are my life and there isn’t anything that can come between us anymore. I won’t let it.
I wait at the bar until Michael leaves the back room and stop him from leaving when he goes to pass me.
“I have something for you,” I tell him, getting his full attention.
“What’s that?”
I reach over the bar and grab a piece of paper and a pen. I scribble down the information I know Michael has been waiting years for and hand it to him.
“Who lives here?”
“The guy who killed our parents.”
His whole demeanour changes and he shifts us away from prying ears.
“Why are you giving me this now?”
“It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but, why now?” he asks again.
“I’m not exactly feeling very forgiving right now, I’ve never kept it from you cause I didn’t want him to suffer. You were right, anyone who gets in our way should be taken out. Starting with the scum who killed our parents.”
“Then let’s go.”
“We’ve been sitting here for three hours, brother. I don’t think anyone is in the house with him. We would have seen them.”
The fucker hasn’t moved from his arm chair in an hour, and before that he only moved to restock his six pack from the fridge.
“Let’s go already,” Michael whines.
I open the truck door and Michael follows. Side by side, shoulder to shoulder, we stand as a united front on the porch of our parent’s killer.
Michael steps forward and bangs on the door.
The fat fucker doesn’t move from his chair that we can see through his window. The same window we’ve been watching all night.
My turn, I bang twice as loud and for as twice as long.
Eventually he moves and answers the door.
“What do you want?” he slurs, his stomach hanging out of the bottom of his grubby vest.
It’s obvious he’s been drinking more than just beer.
“You need to put some shoes on,” I tell him.
“Excuse me?”
“You fuckin’ heard him, we’re going on a drive and you need your shoes on,” Michael repeats me.
“I’m not going anywhere, I don’t fucking know you. Now get off my property.”
He goes to slam the door in our faces but Michael shoves his boot in the doorway and forces his way in.
“I’ve waited years for this,” he sneers, and the guy starts to look at us in a new light.
“Who are you?”
“You should be asking who our parents are, and you know them. You thought you could kill them without facing the consequences.”
He tries backing off but both Michael and I grab for him and to hell with his shoes, he can put them on later.
“Grab his shoes and his jacket too, and lock up.” I order Michael.
Surprisingly, he doesn’t give me the fuck off look at being told what to do. This is how I know how much he wants this.
With both of us at his side, he has no choice but to walk to our truck. Pushing him in, he is wedged between us and I can feel his anxious sweat in the air.
“Let’s get this done so we can go home,” Michael says, lighting a cigarette.
“I have a niece, beautiful little thing she is. She lost her mom, luckily she has her dad and me but that’s where her bloodline ends. It’s not like my niece has grandparents she can turn to, that’s your fault and tonight you’re going to pay for it.”
Whines like a fucking child come from the guy in between us and Michael elbows him in his ribs to shut him up.
I drive out to the middle of nowhere and make sure no one is around. I pull over and that’s when he finds his voice again.
“What are you going to do to me?” he asks, fighting us to stay in the truck.
“You’re going to die, just like my parents,” I tell him, grabbing him around his neck and yanking him out.
Michael comes around and pushes him back into the road.
“Brother, have you ever seen a pig run for its life?”
I shake my head, “I don’t think I have, brother.”
His dirty laugh tells me he knows exactly how this man is going to die.
“I’ll tell you what, if you can out run us then you can live.”
The guy stumbles back and then immediately breaks out into a run back towards town.
“What are you going to do?” I ask.
“Wait and see.”
He revs the engine and when the guy is starting to slow down, he picks up speed and aims straight at him.
Last week I would have been telling him to stop this, to turn around and leave him alone, but tonight, I sit back and watch the show.
With the headlights shining on his retreating back, he turns his head and sees how close we are. He is running out of breath but he picks up his pace and continues to run from us.
“Stop playing with him or you’re going to find out what a pig without breath looks like,” I snort.
“Fine,” he huffs.
Michael pushes his foot the floor and we both jerk back into the seats from the force. The last image I see of the man who killed my mother and father is a partial of his face and his fear excites me. His fear shows me that my parents didn’t die for nothing. This guy is paying for his drunken mistake.
The sound of his body making contact sounds no different to hitting a deer on a back road. Michael stops a little up the road and we both turn to lookout the back window. The guy isn’t moving but Michael isn’t taking any chances. He puts the truck in reverse and backs over him and then speeds up and runs over him again.
“Do you think the pig is dead?”
“Get out and check,” I say, not wanting that particular job myself.
I wait impatiently in the truck and light a cigarette while I do. Blowing smoke out of the window I watch Michael in the wing mirror. He is bent over the guy lying in the middle of the road and stays there long after he searched for a pulse.
It’s not until I finish the cigarette that he comes back.
“Dead as a doornail,” he smirks, turning the engine back on.
“Good, let’s get home. I need to see Alannah before she goes to seep for the night.”
MICHAEL
Mark disappeared into the house as soon as we arrived back at the clubhouse. I spent years thinking we would feel better for killing the murderer who killed our parents. But Mark doesn’t act like it’s made him heal a little and I certainly don’t feel better for it. We stood together and at the time it felt good but now, it feels like shit. I’ve come to the conclusion that it won’t feel better until everyone is dead who takes people away from me.
Biker Born: The Lost Souls MC Series (The Lost Souls Series Book 4) Page 18