“Sage.”
“It’s like nothing can penetrate the zone my mind goes into.”
“Sage?”
“I’ll understand if you want to ease up on seeing me.” But I’ll fucking hate it. “I know my flaws.”
She pushed away from him. “Sage.” She was breathing heavily, her brows knitted together, and her tone was definitely angry.
“Yeah?”
“I’m not mad, okay?” she snapped and shook her head. “I just realized that there’s a bunch of other stuff I need to get worked out. I understand that you get into the zone, or whatever it is that artists do. There is more to me than just you, you know. I have a life here, and work, and responsibilities.”
“I know all of that.”
“Well, I have things to deal with that are bigger than if you show up for a booty call or not.” She pushed past him and stomped toward the path that led to the mess hall.
“A what?” Sage caught up to her and grabbed her arm. He lowered his voice, his chest tight with anger. “A booty call? Is that what you think this is?” What the hell happened between last night and this morning?
“I don’t know what I think, Sage.” She turned to walk away.
“Hell no, Kate. You’re not getting off that easy.” They stood in the narrow path with giant green leaves surrounding them, streaks of the rising sun’s warmth sneaking through the tall foliage. At any other time it would feel romantic. Now it felt claustrophobic.
“What do you want from me, Sage? I’m in the midst of life-changing things here, and somehow I’m supposed to make all the right decisions for everyone, and…and…” Tears sprang from her eyes. “And it doesn’t really matter what I do, because AIA might pull out anyway, and then the people here will be left with nothing. And I’m screwing up your career by not allowing you to paint, or sculpt, or whatever it is you want to do and sell in New York.”
He reached up and brushed the tears from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. The pieces of her broken heart were falling into a more understandable puzzle. “You’re overwhelmed. I was just the icing on the cake.”
“I am not,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
Goddamn, she was cute, but Sage knew better to say that aloud. That’s when he remembered his mother’s advice. Telling a woman to calm down, or that she’s overwhelmed, or that a few pounds don’t matter are all cause for a fight or an emotional meltdown. Don’t go there, Sage. Too late.
“I’ve handled more than this.” She glared at him.
Afraid of saying the wrong thing and knowing Kate could handle anything she was dealt, he simply wrapped his arms around her and held her. She struggled against him, but he didn’t relent. Even angry and overwhelmed, she needed love. She turned in to him, her body rigid. He scooped her up into his arms and guided her legs around his waist.
“Don’t get any dirty ideas. I just want to hug you.” He flashed a flirtatious smile.
She laughed under her breath, allowing him to hold her. His cheek found hers, and with one hand beneath her and the other wrapped tightly around her back, he whispered, “You were never a booty call.”
Only then did the rigidity leave her body.
“I’m sorry, Kate. I’ll make more of an effort to be in tune to what you’re going through. But please don’t shut me out.”
Kate pressed her cheek to his and placed her hand on the back of his neck. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.
“Don’t be sorry. Just be you. I lo—like all of you. Mad. Sad. Happy. I’ll take my knocks for letting you down. I deserve them. Hell, I’ll even take the brunt of you feeling angry at everyone else, but just remember who I am after you come out of your anger, and I’ll try to do the same.”
Sage knew that promising and doing were two entirely different things. He had faith in himself to try to not fall into oblivion when he was working on his artwork, but he didn’t have faith that trying would lead to success. He’d tried before and failed.
He set her back down on the ground. “Tell me what I can do to help with what you’re dealing with.”
“Just…” She let out a loud breath and looked away. “I don’t want to be one of those needy women, but can you just try to let me know if you think you’re not going to see me when you say you are?”
Sure, but I’d be lying. I never know when I’ll fall into the zone. When he looked into her eyes, he knew he wanted to be the man she needed him to be. He didn’t know how to get from here to there, but he wanted to try.
She met his gaze, and he placed his hands on her cheeks. “I don’t ever want to hurt you, and I’ll try my best to be more thoughtful, but I need a safety net.”
She smiled. “A safety net?”
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Yeah. I know myself, Kate. It’s not like I enjoy letting people down, or coming across self-centered when I’m in my own little world. I need to know that if I fail, you won’t walk away. You’ll help me through.”
They began walking down the path.
“So let me get this straight. When you forget to show up, I’m supposed to…what? Come get you and remind you that you forgot about me?”
He smiled down at her. “That would be great.”
She smacked his arm.
“What? Not good?”
“Not even fair,” she said.
“Okay, then if I forget, you can be as angry as you want, but just don’t give up on me.”
She was quiet for a long time. When they took a seat at the table by the door in the mess hall, he said, “I’m worth it.”
She cranked her mouth to the side and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Oh, really?”
“Yeah. I’m kinda cute, I’m pretty talented, and best of all”—he took her hand in his and kissed the back of it—“I’ll try to anticipate your needs.”
“You are cute, and you’re wicked talented, but the other thing? You had no clue what I was upset about this morning, so I don’t think so. Nice try, though.” She leaned across the table and kissed him. “Okay. I’ll help you through it, but I expect you to be worth it.” She raised her eyebrows in rapid succession.
“Don’t you dare treat me like a booty call,” he teased. As relieved as he was by their conversation, Sage had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. How the hell am I going to change something I’ve done forever?
Chapter Seventeen
KATE’S STOMACH HAD been fisted all morning. She felt like such a fool falling apart in front of Sage. What was she thinking? That was the problem. She hadn’t been thinking. Ever since Luce had made it perfectly clear to her that everything she’d been doing for the past two years went completely against the very principles she believed in, she’d been confused, angry, and tied in one giant knot. When Sage hadn’t come by to see her the evening before, it drove the point home. No matter how much she liked him, he was a celebrity. He was—at least a little—self-centered. How could he not be? Weren’t they all? But then he’d held her, and when she was in his arms, all of that fell away. Her principles didn’t matter like they had when her feet were firmly planted on the ground. Maybe I’m losing my mind altogether.
Kate watched Sage and Oscar carrying the supplies from the delivery truck to the school. She pressed her clipboard to her chest, wondering how she could feel so much for Sage and be so confused by him all at once. She agreed to help him through forgetting about her? What the hell was she thinking? Sure, forget me and it’s okay? But the way he’d asked for help, and…Damn it. Everything about him threw her for a loop. She believed that he didn’t mean to forget to come see her, and she believed that he wanted help to stop doing it in the future. Was she being naive? Was she catering to another self-centered celebrity? Ugh! She pushed the thought away as Sage and Oscar headed back toward the truck. Sage waved to someone behind Kate. She spun around and saw Clayton and Cassidy walking toward them. Great.
“You guys are with Caleb today,” she said abruptly. Sage had told her what Clayto
n had said about her, and it was all she could do not to call him out on it.
“Sage asked me to help him unload the truck.” Clayton flexed his biceps. “Put my muscles to work.”
Kate rolled her eyes. “Go right ahead.” She nodded at the truck and watched Clayton strut toward it, wondering how Sage went from slamming the guy against a tree to asking for his help.
“He’s the sexiest thing, isn’t he?” Cassidy ogled Clayton with a sensual smile on her painted lips.
“He’s something,” Kate said flatly. She watched Clayton and Sage working side by side. Both men had sculpted arms, strong backs, and powerful legs. Any other woman would probably be thrilled watching them as they hefted enormous boxes onto their shoulders, their muscles straining beneath the weight, sweat dripping off their hard bodies. Kate’s eyes shifted from Clayton to Sage, and in that moment she saw the difference between the two as clear as day. Clayton moved in a practiced fashion. Each step carefully placed, as if he knew he was being watched. When he returned to the truck, his eyes shifted to Cassidy, then to Kate—which made her stomach clench. Sage moved with purpose, each determined step a movement toward a goal— delivering the box, retrieving the next. His eyes focused on the next box as he settled his grip and hoisted it up. Then his dark eyes shifted to the path across the grass to the building. His eyes didn’t drift to Kate, and while someone else might feel a little put off by this, she found it reassuring. He was focused, determined. He wasn’t going through the actions looking for a pat on the back, and she felt her resolve soften toward him once again.
When all the supplies had been delivered, Sage went through them to ensure they’d been received free of damage. She watched him as he signed off on the paperwork and thanked the driver, and then he knelt beside a large box and withdrew a number of tools. Hammers, a crowbar, an electric drill. What the hell? He then withdrew a thick leather tool belt from its plastic wrapping and gathered it all back into the box and brought it to Oscar.
Oscar looked in the box, set it on the ground, and then embraced Sage. She couldn’t hear what he said, but she saw the look of gratitude in his eyes. By the way he held Sage a beat or two longer than a typical welcome or goodbye embrace, she realized that when Sage had asked his mother to send the supplies for the mural, he’d also asked her to send tools for Oscar. Her reluctant heart opened a little more.
Sage’s body glistened with sweat; beneath his tight, sweat-soaked shirt, his muscles twitched from the hard work. He ran his hand through his hair as he approached Kate, training his eyes on her with a serious, dark stare.
So damn hot.
“What?” she said, probably too harshly.
“Hold on a sec.” He turned to Clayton as he walked by. “Thanks, man. I appreciate the help.”
Clayton shifted his gaze to Kate. Kate bristled. Then he looked at Sage again. “No problem. We’ll go find Caleb now.”
Kate watched them walk away. “So you’re buddies now?”
“Hardly.” Sage turned his attention to her. “I had a little talk with him and Cassidy. Let’s just say that we shouldn’t have any more trouble with him, and I think they will pull their weight and help Caleb out from now on.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
He stood close, his body radiating heat. She had the urge to touch him. To stroke those steamy, sexy muscles, and…Shit. Stop it. She cleared her throat and locked her eyes on her clipboard. “I…I saw the tools you got for Oscar. That was really nice of you.”
“Yeah. He needed a few things. The poor guy didn’t even have a solid tool belt. Anyway, listen. We have a little problem.” Sage wiped his brow with the crook of his arm.
“I thought all the supplies came.”
“They did, but there are a few things here that I didn’t order.”
She let out a breath. “Well, we can send them back. Why didn’t you say something before the delivery truck left?”
“Because I think my mother sent them for me. I didn’t say I didn’t want them. I said I didn’t order them.”
“I don’t understand.”
He took her hand and brought her to the side of the school, where he tore open two large boxes, revealing two large canvases. “She’s an artist. I’m sure she just assumed…”
“Really, Sage? I’m supposed to believe that you didn’t order these?” Why does the sun suddenly feel a zillion degrees hotter?
“Well, I didn’t, so yeah.” He crossed his arms. “Listen, Kate. I know you’re going through a lot of shit right now, but haven’t you learned anything about me since we’ve been together? Namely that I don’t lie?”
“Yeah, but—”
“You know what? I’m hot. The kids are waiting to paint, and I have a lot of prep work to do. You can believe whatever you want to believe. To be honest, I’m glad she sent them. I’m dying to get my hands on a brush and work through some of my own frustrations, outside of the school.”
Shit. Say something. A lump had formed in Kate’s throat, so thick and solid that she could barely breathe.
“There’s too much real shit to worry about to sit and argue over whether or not I lied to you. I told you before. I’m not who you think I am.” He turned to walk away and hesitated. “You know what? I thought we’d moved beyond this shit.”
For the second time in less than three hours, Kate felt her world spiraling out of control, and for the first time in her life she felt like she was unable to rein it back in.
Chapter Eighteen
SAGE STEWED ALL afternoon about Kate as he and the children worked on the mural. He had been in the wrong when he didn’t go see her when he’d said he would, but he sure as hell hadn’t lied to her. Sure, maybe he’d overreacted. He was hotter than hell, and he knew the minute he’d told her about the canvases she’d suspect that he’d gone against her wishes. It was times like these when Sage wished he were a practiced liar. He could have worked on the canvases without Kate knowing and probably even had them shipped back to the States with her never the wiser. But damn it, that’s not how he was raised, and he’d be damned if he was going to sink to that level now. Fuck. He came to Belize to clear his head, and now it was so full of Kate that he could barely think past her.
After the kids each had a turn painting and he’d cleaned up and put the supplies away, he surveyed the mural. Bright greens and reds, streaks of browns and oranges, popped from the side of the building. It was too early for the images to take shape, and he could manipulate the edges to be a little more refined if need be, but it warmed his heart to know the children were pouring their energy into the mural.
As he turned away from the school, his body sweaty, his mouth dry, he was torn between ridding himself of the frustration with Kate by getting started on a canvas and trying to clear the air with her. His affection for Kate drew him back to the cabins. He’d skipped lunch, and now that it was nearing dinnertime, his stomach was rumbling. He went to Kate’s cabin and, finding it empty, he headed over to the mess hall. As the sun began to descend, the heat of the afternoon eased, but the temperature inside the building was oppressive. Sage grabbed a bottle of water and two bean and rice fajitas and took them outside, rehashing his earlier conversation with Kate in his mind, trying to recall if she’d mentioned where she was going.
“Still mad at me?”
Sage turned at the sound of Luce’s voice. “I was never mad at you. Hey, have you seen Kate?”
“Okay, mad was the wrong word. Still disagree with my thoughts about PR? Kate went over to the village earlier, but I haven’t seen her since she left.”
Sage guzzled the water. “It’s gonna be dark soon. Think I should look for her?”
“Uh…” Luce looked over Sage’s shoulder. “I’m not sure that’s gonna be necessary. What the hell?”
Sage turned to see Kate, Cassidy, and Clayton walking down the center of the dirt road. What the hell? Cassidy held Clayton’s hand, and on his other side, Kate walked at a leisurely pace, a notebook tucked
under her arm, her full attention on Cassidy. Clayton looked over and waved.
“Holy crap. I never thought I’d see the day,” Luce said, waving at Clayton.
“You’re telling me?”
Kate turned in their direction. Her mouth lifted into a tentative smile, her eyes shifting from Luce to Sage, where they held just long enough—he hoped—to read the narrowing of his eyes. Sage went to greet them. “How’s it going?” He reached an arm around Kate and kissed her cheek, as much to claim her in front of Clayton as to try to bridge the gap between them. As upset as he was, he was still unable to deny his feelings for her. “You okay?” he whispered.
“Yeah. Fine.”
“Kate was telling us about the whole well situation and the meeting that’s coming up next week. We thought we’d show up,” Clayton explained. “Luce, we know you’re Penelope’s PR rep, but can we pay you to set up some visibility for us?”
“Um.” Luce shot a glance at Kate, who shrugged. “I can’t act as your rep, but I’m sure we can work with your PR guys to coordinate something.”
“Kate, you’re okay with this?” Sage asked.
“I’m just thankful for the support.” She sidestepped out from beneath Sage’s protective arm.
“That’s great.” Sage eyed Clayton, trying to determine if he had something else up his sleeve.
Clayton flashed his winning smile and smacked the thigh of his jeans. “Well, we’re gonna grab showers. Luce, catch up with you later to discuss the details?”
“Sure.” Luce watched them walk away; then she sidled up to Kate. “What the hell’s up with that?”
Kate began walking toward her cabin with Luce and Sage in tow. “What? They offered to go. You’re the one who said I needed to maximize the exposure to help the community.”
“Yeah. I did, didn’t I?” She arched a brow at Sage. “I was just gonna read for a while. I’ll catch you guys later.”
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