“I thought you hated publicity.” And Clayton.
“I do.”
“So, why the change of heart?” They walked along the path toward her cabin.
She stared straight ahead. “Luce said that I might be shortsighted on that, so I’m giving it a try.” Her voice was cold, distant, forced.
When they reached the stairs to her cabin, Sage lowered himself to the bottom step. “Wanna talk a minute?”
Kate sat beside him, fidgeting with the edge of her tank top. He wanted to pull her against him, to kiss her sweet lips, but so much had transpired over the course of the day that he felt like they were on opposite sides of a ravine and he had no idea how to bridge the gap.
“Was your day okay?”
“Yeah. I went to the clinic, then checked email in town.”
He could feel her pulling away, and all he wanted to do was grab hold and not let her go. “Did you hear anything more about AIA and if they’ll pull out of here?”
“No. I won’t know anything until I talk to Raymond again.”
Goddamn, this is hard. Sage was a patient guy, but the stress of Kate thinking he’d lied to her had been brewing all day, festering in the heat, and his patience had worn thin. “Kate…”
She met his gaze. Christ. One look in her blue eyes and he realized that the last thing he wanted to do was argue with her. He was head over heels for her, and that emotion won out. “Hell, Kate,” he said just above a whisper. “I hate this.”
“Me too.”
“Do you?” He knew he must sound pathetic, his voice full of hope, hanging on to every word she said, but he didn’t care. When he looked at Kate, he felt full of hope. And goddamn it, he liked it. He just needed to clear the air. “But if you don’t trust me, then we…” He ran his hand between the two of them. “This. Us. We won’t work.”
“I know.” She glanced down at her hands, then settled a hand on top of his.
Sage breathed a relieved sigh that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in. He closed his eyes for a second; then he pulled her close and kissed her temple.
“I believe you about the canvases. And I’m sorry I said I didn’t earlier. I’ve been under a lot of pressure, and…” She looked up through her thick lashes, her brows knitted together. “I’m sorry, Sage.”
“I don’t know how we got so sidetracked, but I’m sure my not showing last night kicked it off.” She held his gaze, and his love for her grew. “Kate, I can’t lie to you. I’m gonna fuck up. I know I am. My brain works in weird ways when I’m in my creative zone. I’m gonna try my hardest to be there every single time I say I will, but…”
“I know.”
That was all she said. It was all she needed to. When their lips met again, the warmth and closeness returned. Sage lifted her onto his lap and deepened the kiss, feeling like a starving man satiated for the first time in weeks. Kate filled parts of him that he hadn’t realized were empty.
When they drew apart, the tension was gone from Kate’s eyes. “Sage, I was really overwhelmed today. I didn’t sleep last night, and Luce said some things that really hit home with me. I wanted to talk them out with you last night, but then you didn’t show up, and then today....” She sighed. “I think with the news from Raymond, and not knowing what I’m doing a few weeks from now, it was all too much.”
A few weeks from now.
Sage caressed her back. The sound of Clayton’s guitar filtered through the darkness. “I’m sorry that I added stress to what was already on your plate. Maybe we can figure some of this out together. What did Luce say that was so bothersome?”
Kate sighed. “She didn’t really say anything wrong. She just said that I shouldn’t be so against PR and…”
“And?”
“And that by running this program, I’m condoning the behavior of the people who come here only for publicity.”
The pain in her voice was palpable. Before he could respond, Kate continued.
“She’s right, you know,” Kate said. “I thought about it, and of course she’s right. I mean, Caleb and I are doing what we need to in order for the programs to run well, and sometimes volunteers are really here to help, like you are. But in general, I’m running a babysitting program for celebrities like Penelope Price to repair their reputations or jump-start their ailing careers. It’s kind of pathetic.”
“Babe, that’s not completely true.” Sage slapped a bug from his leg.
“Let’s go inside and talk.” Kate took his hand and led him inside.
Sage grabbed a blanket and Kate’s pillows and laid them on the floor in the screened-in area at the rear of the cabin. Kate sat on the blanket and Sage lay back with his head on the pillow, looking out the screen at the darkening sky. “There aren’t many stars tonight.”
“I think they’re hiding. Afraid I’ll bitch them out.”
“Come here.” He pulled her down, and Kate rested her head on his chest.
“You run important programs, Kate, and even though some people come here with different intentions than you hope, they’re still putting income into the community, and that’s important. So don’t get too down on yourself for what you do.”
Kate placed her palm over his heart, and Sage closed his eyes, reveling in her touch.
“You have a kinder heart than anyone I know, Kate. You’re here, giving your life to help others. You can’t fault yourself for what others choose to do with their lives.”
“Maybe.” Her voice was soft, tender. “But I could be doing so much more someplace else. Someplace where volunteers are lining up to help. Really help the community.”
Someplace else. “Will you do this forever?”
“What?”
“Work with groups like AIA? Travel the world. Help communities? Give back?” He listened to the solemn pace of her breathing against the night sounds of the jungle. She didn’t answer right away. “You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m just thinking. I always thought I’d do this forever, like my parents did. You know, travel and help wherever there’s a need, but now…” She wrapped her arm over his stomach and cuddled in close.
“Now you’re not sure?”
“I don’t know. I just have a lot to think about. I can’t even imagine the people here not having the aid we provide, but then I know there are a million other places that also need help. I’m one person, you know? And I wonder sometimes if I want to get into the real world for a while just to try it out.”
He looked down at her. “I think you’re more in the real world than I am in New York.”
Kate shimmied up his body until her chest pressed against his and they were eye to eye. She kissed him softly. “You surprise me.”
“How so?”
“Everything. Even the way you got lost in your work was surprising to me. You’re so attentive and…present when you’re not working. You’re aware of everything around you. You listen to what I say all the time, not like most men who only half listen.”
“Don’t make me into something I’m not. You’ve seen me drawing. I zone out completely.”
“Yeah, you do. But when you’re not working, you’re right here with me.”
“That’s where I’d always rather be. Except when you’re calling me a liar.”
Kate’s body went rigid.
“I didn’t mean that,” he said, though he kind of did.
“Yeah, you did. And it’s fair. I’m really sorry about that. I shouldn’t have judged you unfairly. I’m not used to people being honest all the time.”
“My father drilled honesty into our brains since we could comprehend speech. And my mother? She’d knock me on my ass if she thought I lied or mistreated a woman.”
“She would not.” She laughed.
“No, she would never hurt a fly. But she’d give me this look.” Sage narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips together. “And I’m sure she’d say something like, Sage William Remington, have you gotten so big in those britches of yours that you’ve forgotten what i
t means to be a gentleman?”
“I think I like your mom already.” Kate ran her finger over the tattoo on his right arm. “Does she mind that you have tattoos?”
“My mom? Nah. She wasn’t crazy about it when I got my first one, but all of us except Jack and Siena have them. Rush, Kurt, Dex, and I each have quite a few.”
“Sage.” Seriousness crept into her tone, then settled in her eyes.
“Yeah?”
“Would it be way too pushy for me to ask if I could visit you in New York after you leave?”
In one swift move, Sage flipped her onto her back beneath him and trapped her between his forearms. His smile pressed at his cheeks.
“Seriously?” He kissed her.
“Does that mean it would be okay?” She laughed. “I mean, I know we haven’t talked about seeing each other beyond when we’re here, but I’m going crazy waiting for you to bring it up, and—”
“Waiting for me? I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me after I went back home.”
She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. “Really? Because you think I’m the kind of girl who has her way with hot, sexy artists in Belize and then casually tosses them aside and makes room for the new crop?”
“Something like that, you little minx, you,” he teased.
“As long as we’re clear, then,” she whispered. “This amazing sex we have, it’s just a time filler.”
Her fingers slid down his cheek, and he leaned in to her palm. Her touch was sensual and loving, and his body responded with a surge of desire.
“A time filler,” he repeated. “You make me want to fill time over and over again. I never realized I had so much downtime to be filled.” He nuzzled against her neck. “Kate,” he whispered. “You’re so much more than a time filler. It scares the shit out of me.”
Chapter Nineteen
THE NEXT FEW days passed quickly. Sage and Kate had found their groove as a couple. While Sage worked on the mural, Kate and Luce helped Caleb. Clayton and Cassidy had helped at the clinic, and on most afternoons, Clayton could be heard playing his guitar and singing. Sage worked on the mural late into the evenings, adding finite detail to the children’s hard work, while Kate read or wrote in one of her notebooks. Then Sage would walk Kate back to her cabin, and he’d return to his cabin to exercise or shower or whatever it was that men did to prepare to see a woman. All Kate knew was that by the time he came back each night, she felt like he’d been gone for days, and he smelled like—and felt like—sheer masculinity: earthy, rough, and oh so good.
Tonight she was thinking of the canvases his mother had sent as he carried the last of the paints inside, then returned to her side and held out a hand to help her up from the ground.
“What will you do with the canvases?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I guess I’ll see when I’m done with the mural.”
“But you’re leaving on Sunday. You can’t possibly get more than the mural done, can you?”
He shrugged, and they walked hand in hand back to her cabin. The night air was comfortable. Ribbons of pinks and grays surrounded the moon. Sage’s hand was warm and sure in hers. The thought of him leaving made her stomach twist. Even knowing she’d visit him in New York didn’t quell the longing that had already begun to settle in. She was used to Sage now. She counted on him. The bed felt empty without his body wrapped around hers on the entirely too-small twin mattress. How had she ever slept without him beside her? How would she sleep when he was gone? She tried to push the thoughts away. Now was what mattered. Now he was right there with her, one hand on her lower back as he climbed the stairs behind her, the other— Oh my. At the top of the stairs, Sage pressed his body against hers. He gathered her hair over one shoulder, then lowered his mouth to her bared skin. His low, sexy growl sent a shudder of heat through her.
She reached behind her. God, she loved the feel of his coarse whiskers against her skin, the way he dragged his tongue along the back of her neck. He gripped her hips and turned her around. She pressed her palms to his chest, feeling his heart beating fast and hard, then slid her hands beneath his shirt and ran her fingers over his ripped abs. She had to lift his shirt to see his bare skin. Sage’s body was like a work of art. She loved everything about it, from the hard muscles to the soft creases where his arms met his chest. Now she held his shirt above his ribs and kissed her way across his stomach, then pressed her cheek to his skin.
“God, I love being close to you,” she whispered.
He touched the line of her jaw the way he often did, and that intimate touch made her long to be even closer, to touch every inch of him. She reached for him, but before she made contact, he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her slowly and deeply. She couldn’t have held back the moan that escaped her lungs if her life depended on it. Sage drew passion from deep within her every time they touched, and she’d given up fighting it.
“We should go inside,” she managed.
“Better be careful inviting strange men into your room,” he warned.
“If you’re a strange man, I’ll take my chances.” She took his hand and led him to the bed.
Sage took a step backward.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just had an idea. I’ll be right back.” In two steps, he was out the door.
Kate looked around the room, wondering what could have struck him so urgently. She sniffed under her arms. Nope. I don’t stink. She glanced in the mirror and ran her fingers through her hair. Not bad. Before she could worry too much, Sage was ascending the steps two at a time. Kate opened the screen door and found him carrying his mattress over his head.
“What on earth are you doing?” She laughed as he carried it inside and set it on the floor in the screened-in area. Then he took the mattress from her bed and placed it beside it. The two mattresses took up all but a six-inch border around the room.
“Perfect.”
“Aww. I like having to sleep close to you.”
Sage slid his arms around her waist and kissed her. “That’s not for sleeping.”
Chapter Twenty
THE NEXT AFTERNOON, Sage and Javier painted side by side. Javier’s eyebrows were drawn tightly together as his brush moved carefully along the concrete. He glanced at Sage every few minutes, his hopeful eyes seeking approval.
“You are very talented, Javier.”
A smile spread across Javier’s cheeks. He reached up to scratch an itch, and the ends of the paintbrush skimmed the fringe of his hair, leaving a bright yellow streak. Sage lifted his eyebrows, and Javier laughed and went back to work on the mural. He was painting the shirt of the little boy at the water’s edge. Sage had been thinking of how much Kate adored Javier when he’d likened the image to him.
Oscar came out of the school with a small radio and turned it on. The music made a nice backdrop for the students as they painted. Sage walked behind them as they worked in groups of ten, rotating a new group in every forty-five minutes, thanks to Kate’s organizational skills. Seeing the mural come to life gave Sage a feeling of fulfillment and pride. He’d watched the kids working side by side in the blazing heat for days, and he wondered what would happen if he ever tried to coordinate such an effort in the city. Sure, he might find a handful of students who would take part, but here, each student eagerly awaited their turn, magnifying the difference between having everything at one’s fingertips and taking it for granted and having so little that the extras are cherished.
He glanced inside the classroom, where the next group of students were finishing their studies. The deal he’d struck with the students was that if they completed their work, they’d be allowed to paint. He’d never seen kids work so diligently.
Luce came down the dirt road and waved to Sage. He waved back as he went to greet her.
“Do you mind if I take a few pictures?” Luce asked.
“I thought you and Kate were working with Caleb today.” Sage glanced at the road, but Kate was nowhere in sight. Things betwe
en them couldn’t have been better, and Sage had never been happier in a relationship. A relationship. He reflected on the thought, thinking about Jack and Savannah, and Dex and Ellie, and how his brothers’ lives had seemed full before they fell in love, but now they seemed revived with a different type of contentment. Like me with Kate. He loved that each day brought them closer together and hated that as each day passed, it brought him closer to leaving.
“We wrapped up early. Kate wanted to go into town and call Raymond.” She pulled out her cell phone and waved it. “Do you mind?”
“No. Go ahead. The kids are doing a great job, aren’t they?”
Luce snapped a few photos of the kids painting. “It looks great. Can I get one of you and the kids?”
Sage looked down at his white tank top and tan cargo shorts, both streaked with colorful paint. “Sure. Why not? Hey, guys, do you mind if we take a picture together?”
Javier’s eyes grew wide. “For the American papers?”
“No, for Miss Luce.” American papers? The excitement in Javier’s eyes brought another thought to Sage. He shot a glance at Luce, who smiled knowingly. She turned away under the guise of taking a picture of Oscar and a group of children standing at the other end of the building.
When she turned back, she took a few pictures of Javier and Sage. “Smile like you’re a movie star,” she said to Javier.
His eyes widened, and his lips spread into a smile as he reached for Sage’s hand. After she took the picture, he said, “Miss Luce, will you put these in the American papers? Please?”
“I’m not sure what will happen to these pictures, Javier.” Luce patted his head. “But I’ll make sure that Miss Kate has enough copies for everyone.”
The children gathered for more photos, moving in close at Luce’s direction.
“Smile,” she directed. “Beautiful. Now let’s get a few with you lined up in front of the mural.” The kids ran to the wall, stopping short of the wet paint. “That’s perfect,” Luce said.
“Will we see our picture on the computer?” a tall teenage boy asked. “Will Miss Kate show us?”
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