The Best New Horror 3

by Stephen Jones

  “Beautiful.” Toni relaxed and smiled at him. “There is one thing I have to tell you.”

  “Yeah? What’s that?”

  “It’s the wrong time to use my little pussy.”

  “That don’t bother me, babe,” Snake declared proudly. “In the Legion of the Lost we don’t just poke bloody cunts, we hunker right down and eat ’em.”

  “Really?” Toni gave a dramatic shudder. “Sounds icky. And it would bother me, darling. But you know, I really have a great ass, and I’m sure you’d love it.”

  “Yeah, it looks good, and I bet it feels like velvet,” Snake said. “But I ain’t no butt-fucker.”

  “So there are some things the Legion of the Lost won’t do,” Toni said sarcastically.

  “Damn right.”

  “Oh well. I guess— ”

  “Read my mind,” Snake told her.

  “I give great head.”

  “Right. You better, babe.”

  “How many pills do you have?”

  “Put it this way. You owe me five blow jobs.”

  Toni looked rather disappointed. “But darling, you will be able to get more, won’t you?”

  “What do you do, eat ’em like candy?”

  “I’m in pain,” Toni said resentfully.

  “You need somebody to look after you,” Snake pointed out, a clever idea forming in his mind. Blow jobs every night. A great source of income. He would move her out of the south end and put her to work making real money, no more of this back alley boffing for bucks. “Yeah, somebody who’ll take good care of you.”

  “I take care of myself.”

  “I mean a regular guy.”

  “I’ve got a hundred regular guys, darling.”

  “To protect you,” Snake clarified firmly.

  “I’ve never needed protection.”

  “That just means you’re overdue for trouble.”

  “Oh.” Toni didn’t seem to care for what Snake had in mind, but then her face moved slightly as if she had just felt a twinge of pain, and then she smiled up at him. “Oh dear.”

  “Yeah, but don’t worry about it, babe,” Snake told her with a wide grin. “Now that I’m here you’ll be all right. I’ll take care of you and you’ll take care of me, right?”

  “You might decide you don’t want me,” Toni said. She had a peculiar smile on her face. “When you get to know me.”

  Snake laughed. “Oh, I’ll want you, babe, you can be sure of that. Matter of fact, I want you right now.”

  Toni discreetly slipped her hand between Snake’s legs.

  “Mmm, so you do.”

  “Come on, let’s go.”

  “Your old lady must not be treating you right.”

  “What old lady?”

  “I can tell, darling.”

  “Yeah, well, she’s on the way out,” Snake said. “She just don’t know it yet.”

  “No one ever does.”

  “Come on,” Snake said anxiously.

  “Let me finish my drink,” Toni insisted calmly. “Besides, I can see that you like standing in the middle of a crowd of people and having me touch you this way. It’s nice, isn’t it?”

  “Jesus, babe.”

  But she was right.

  III

  —Greetings, plasmodium.

  “Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”

  —Stand by.

  “Where are you?”

  —Here.

  “I can’t see you.”

  —You can hear me.

  “Come on out, man. Let me see you.”

  Tony had a large mayonnaise jar. If he could just get his hands on the Pied Piper long enough to shove him into the jar and screw the cap on . . . Into the trash . . . Into the landfill . . . But, only after Tony hammered a few nail holes in the cap and then steamed the brain-eating son of a bitch alive over a pot of boiling water for a couple of hours.

  But maybe Tony wouldn’t throw him away. Maybe he’d put the jar on a shelf in the living room and let his johns goggle at it. What the hell is that, they’d ask. Souvenir from the Caribbean, he’d tell them with a straight face. My voodoo chile.

  —Slime.

  “Where the hell are you?”

  —Everywhere.

  “Yeah? Where’s that?”

  —In your head.

  “That’s what I have to talk to you about,” Tony said. “You have to let me call a dentist and get an appointment, because my jaw is killing me all the time now.”

  —No.

  “I can’t take it anymore.”

  —No.

  “Fuck, man, why the fuck not?”

  —He’ll see what you did to your teeth and he’ll think that you’re crazy.

  “I am crazy.”

  —He’ll get them to lock you up.

  “I’m locked up here most of the time, talking to myself.”

  —I am always with you.

  “Then come on out and let me see you.”

  —See!

  Suddenly Tony couldn’t see anything but the Pied Piper. It was as if he were inside Tony’s eyeballs, peering into his brain. He had an evil grin on his twisted face, and now his filthy hands came up and started scratching at the inner lining of Tony’s eyes in an effort to shred through the membrane. Scraping, ripping, peeling the cells away with ridged fingernails that were as sharp as razorblades.

  The pain was excruciating. Tony slid off the chair and fell to his knees on the floor, holding his head in his hands. He was too weak to scream, it felt like the breath had been sucked from his lungs. One hand groped blindly toward the small brown bottle on the coffee table. Tony had tried all the regular store-bought painkillers, but none of them helped. Finally he had scored some Demerol from a beautiful idiot named Snake, his new friend. The Demerol was fantastic, although it never really lasted quite long enough. Now Tony had just a few left.

  —No.

  The muscles in Tony’s arm went dead. His fingers fumbled at the brown bottle but could not grip it. Please, came the whimper from the back of his skull. Please let me—but a shrill racket overwhelmed his feeble thought.

  —Sorry.

  Tony began to beat his head against the floor.

  —So you want the people downstairs to come up and find you like this? They’ll call a doctor and he’ll decide you’re crazy. He’ll have them lock you away forever.

  Tony continued to bang his head on the hardwood floor in an effort to knock himself unconscious.

  —Listen.

  Tony could no longer lift his head; it rested face down in a smear of blood. But the pain had let up, and his brain began the laborious process of forming clear thoughts again. His breathing came back in short, shallow gasps.

  —You can have your pill.

  Tony tried to reach for the bottle, but couldn’t.

  —Not yet. Only when you have listened to what you must do for me.

  “Yes.”

  —And accept.

  The air was thin and liquid. It had a raw, unpleasant edge that reminded Tony of grain alcohol.

  “What is it?”

  —You must bring someone here.

  “Who?”

  —Someone you trust.

  “I don’t trust anybody, man.”

  —Nevertheless.

  “How can I, with you hanging around?”

  Business had fallen right off the table ever since the Pied Piper had taken over Tony’s life. He couldn’t dare bring anyone home when he no longer had control of the situation. He had to go out at night all the time now, hustling quick tricks in toilets and alleys for prices he would have laughed at a couple of months ago. Tony’s whole world had shriveled around him like the skin on a rotten corpse.

  —You can.

  “Can I take money from him?”

  —Yes.

  “And do my job?”

  —That is what you must do.

  “I get it,” Tony said, smiling faintly. “You can’t see me when I’m outside, and you want to watch. Right?”
For once the Pied Piper was silent. Tony chuckled. “That’s okay, man, that’s cool. But you have to understand.” His voice took on a pleading tone again as he pushed himself over onto his side. “I can’t go on living like this. It just won’t work.”

  —Leave the living to me, plasmodium.

  “I mean it, man. I’m dying in my socks. People will come to see what’s the matter, why I’m not in touch. My family, like that, you know what I mean.”

  —Then deal with them.

  “I can’t handle it.”

  —Why not?

  “I just can’t. I’m afraid.”

  —Of what?

  “You . . .”

  —But, I’m you.

  “The fuck you are,” Tony protested. “I’m sick. I hurt all the time now. The only way I can face people is in the dark, and it’s all because of you. Not me, I’m the one you’re doing it to, and maybe I should be locked away somewhere. Maybe that’d be the best thing.”

  —Nonsense.

  “You’re killing me. Day by day, you’re killing me.”

  —Ingrate.

  “Come here, you little shit.”

  Tony had regained a slight measure of strength by now, so he lunged in the direction of where he thought the Pied Piper might be, but his fingers grasped empty air. The demon was gone. Tony knew it at once from the sudden lightness he felt, the release of his mind.

  It was the worst attack yet. Tony’s heart banged inside his chest, weak but frantic, and his skin was slick with sweat. His arms trembled, nearly buckling, as he made an effort to sit up on the floor. He looked at the thin patch of blood on the hardwood and felt a terrible anticipation of his own doom. This is how he would die, like an animal. Like trash, like slime, unseen, all but invisible, stepped on, rubbed away, a smear, a tiny stain on the street.

  Tony crawled up into the chair. He saw the brown bottle of Demerol, but he no longer felt the need for any. Save them. The ache in his jaw was dull and distant. If only he could manage to grab the Demerol and get it down his throat in the minute before the Pied Piper got a hold of him. It was the only thing that did seem to keep the demon from getting through, at least for a short while. But he would have to carry a loose pill all the time, or else have one installed in a special socket in his teeth, like some of the Nazis. Come to think of it, the holes were already there, waiting to be custom-fitted.

  He needed more Demerol, that was the main thing. Enough to keep him safe day and night. It was so damn good, so much better than coke or weed or anything else he’d ever tried. Better even than sex. So what if it turned him into a placid addict, lolling about like a zombie? Anything was better than having that fucker inside his brain.

  Tonight he would see Snake again, and he would make sure the guy was sufficiently motivated to get more Demerol. There was no way Tony could live without it now.

  He noticed the mayonnaise jar on the floor, and it puzzled him for a moment. He picked it up and looked at it. The strands of mayonnaise left inside had turned into a greenish-black slime. Slime, the Pied Piper had called him.

  Plasmodium. That was a word Tony knew for certain he didn’t know and had never heard before. Until today. Where did it come from? Impossible. Unless the Pied Piper was real.

  The pain began to swell like an infernal orchestra in Tony’s head, and he reached for the brown bottle.

  IV

  “Where y’goin’?”

  Snake looked over his shoulder. Shelly was still on the old couch, which sagged nearly to the floor. She looked like she was sampling coffins and had found one that suited her. She had been lying there most of the day. She was out of it, brain-blitzed on those pills the shrink had prescribed for her. Shelly discovered happiness when she doubled the original dosage and now she didn’t scratch herself so much. She was also a lot easier for Snake to handle, although his feelings for her did not improve. Snake was hooked on Toni.

  “Out,” he replied curtly.

  “Out where?”

  “Fuck you.”

  Shelly struggled to push herself up on one elbow. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Scrawny arms and legs. A whining, watery voice that came from a face resembling a tombstone. She also broadcast an odor that would pit steel. He looked away from her and put on his Legion of the Lost leather jacket.

  “Snake . . .”

  “Don’t wait up.”

  Twenty minutes later Snake parked his beat-up Dodge Colt on South Freedom, hurried around the corner and entered the El Greco bar. The usual do-nothing crowd was on hand, drinking, yammering over the soccer table and sticking their chests out at each other like animals. Snake hated them all. They seemed to smirk at him and laugh to themselves whenever he came in, but not one of them had the balls to take him on because they knew he’d kick the shit out of them. Snake knew about spic fighting abilities—they were game little roosters, but hit them in the body and they all break up like a sack of sticks.

  Toni was there too, as she knew she damn well better be. It hadn’t taken him long to straighten her out on that score. Snake was not to be kept waiting, not for one minute. You have to make sure a whore knows her place and toes the line, otherwise she’ll piss all over you. Snake was pleased, but didn’t show it, though he did tell her she looked sexy when she came and wrapped her arm around his waist. They got drinks and sat down at the far end of the bar, away from the crowd. Unfortunately, the El Greco didn’t run to booths or tables.

  Toni smiled, gave him little kisses, murmured in his ear and touched him secretly, but for all that she seemed tense and edgy. Her face was drawn and she toyed with her drink nervously.

  “What’s the matter, babe?”

  “I’m in pain,” she said.

  “Drink your drink, and have another.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Relax.”

  “You got more?”

  “Sure,” Snake said.

  “How much?”

  “Jesus, you are jumpy tonight. Enough, okay? I have enough for you.”

  Toni settled down a little and stroked his thigh gratefully. Nice. Snake was pleased, but not entirely happy. His efforts to advance the situation in the last ten days had so far failed. He loved the blow jobs in his car, parked in a dark lot, and he knew he had a hold on Toni, but his control over her was only partial. She had agreed to consider working exclusively for him, but still would not commit to it. Snake’s dream of free sex and free money hovered just beyond his reach. For the moment.

  “But,” he said quietly.

  “What?” Toni’s face tensed immediately. “But what?”

  “I’m not happy.”

  “Why?”

  “Take those sunglasses off.”

  “Pretend I’m a stranger, hot for you, and— ”

  “Take ’em off,” Snake demanded. “It’s dark enough here.”

  “Okay.” Toni removed the shades and blinked, wincing. Then she smiled at him. “Whatever you want, darling.”

  “That’s better.”

  “Besides, I’m hot for you anyway, you know.”

  “Yeah, well.” Snake tried to look cool, but it wasn’t easy to ignore her hand between his legs. “Listen to me.”

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I want you working for me.”

  “I know, but— ”

  “You don’t belong down in this part of town. I can take you to better places, fix you up with guys that have more money. You can pull a ton, and I’ll take care of everything. Everything you need, I’ll get it for you.”

  “Sounds good,” Toni said in a neutral tone of voice. “Maybe we could do that, but I’m not ready for it yet.”

  “No? We could leave right now, head on up to the Green Door and bag a half-dozen yuppies in no time.”

  “But not tonight, darling. I don’t feel too good.”

  Snake shrugged his shoulders as if it didn’t bother him one way or the other, but the expression on his face tightened.

  “There’s something else.” />
  “What?”

  “I’m getting kind of tired of doing it in the car.”

  “Oh.”

  “Don’t worry, babe. You’re great. But I’d like to go back to your place, where we can take a little more time and really do it right. Slow and sweet, you know?”

  Toni looked unhappy. Snake knew he was walking a fine line. She had already made it clear to him that she didn’t bring anyone home, that it “wasn’t convenient” for some reason which she would not specify. If he pushed her too hard, she might decide to drop him and take her chances with somebody else. Whores know so many people. It might take her a few days, but sooner or later she’d find another source of coke and Demerol, and Snake would be left out in the cold, Toni was too valuable to lose. It wasn’t often that you found such a hot young thing, such an unusual beauty who really could perform. Toni was a sizzler.

  But damn it, if Snake was going to be her one supplier, then he was entitled to more than he was getting. She didn’t even let him touch her hardly at all, aside from a little ass-grabbing and an occasional brush with her nubby tits. Snake wanted more, much more. He wanted to roll around naked with her on a bed, to watch her strip, to splash around together in a bubble bath—the kind of things he did with Shelly, when she was human. Toni was great when she put her nose to the grindstone, but Snake was determined to strike a better deal.

  “Darling, I will take you back to my place, and we’ll have a wonderful time—many wonderful times.”

  “All right.”

  “But,” Toni said, holding her hand up, “I have to get myself organized first.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “I told you, I’m suffering the most monumental pain, from my dental problems. That’s why I need the medicine.”

  “Right,” Snake said wearily. He knew better than to ask why she didn’t just get her dentist to write a prescription. She was a no-hope junkie whore, and it wasn’t hard to figure out what the future had in store for her, but at least he had found her while she was young and still had a lot of tread. She was worth taking a certain amount of bullshit to keep. “How long will that be?”

  “Next week.”

  “Really?”

  Her eyes danced vaguely, avoiding him. “I hope.”

  “Jesus, babe.”

  “You poor darling,” she said soothingly, caressing him again discreetly. “I’ll make it up to you, just wait and see. I will, I really will. We’ll have the most fantastic time together. And in the meantime, I’ll suck your brains out, I’ll drink you dry.”