Spirit Bear

by D'Arc, Bianca

  Most shifters had a small separation between their beast side and their human side, but Gus’s was a little more pronounced than others because his bear was a mystic as well as being more magical than most bears. Which was saying a lot, since bears were among the most magical of all shifters.

  Of course, there were a few other shifters that outclassed bears in magical terms, but they were incredibly rare. Snowcats. Dragons. Those sorts of mythical shifters, like phoenixes—which were now rumored to exist. Hell, if Gus hadn’t already met a dragon shifter, he wouldn’t believe they were real either. Those kinds of shifters had all sorts of magic that even bears couldn’t match, though Gus was probably a little closer to that level than his friends in Grizzly Cove, since he was a spirit bear, which had complications of its own.

  He’d been born this way. It wasn’t something he’d asked for. It just was what he was. He’d had this old, wise spirit inside him that occasionally chuckled at the foibles of his human half. He hadn’t really started to get in synch with his bear half until he’d started following the shaman’s path. Only then had his bear side been truly pleased with his human side and started cooperating more fully. It was a weird separation that most other shifters wouldn’t really comprehend.

  He told his bear to shut up as he followed Laura up the stairs toward the apartment. He tried and failed to ignore the delectable sway of her hips as she mounted each step. She was so unconsciously graceful, and her curves were coming back now that she was eating well again. He’d known a werewolf or two in his time, but never one as lovely and downright exotic as this Arctic wolf woman. She was lovely, inside and out…and it really came out in her painting.

  A tainted soul could not paint such loveliness from a black heart.

  Laura started to feel odd twinges as they made their way up to her apartment. Not good, sexy twinges, but more like something evil coming awake inside her.

  No. She refused to believe any of the bullshit lies the last mage who had her had spouted. She’d been out of it for the most part, but on rare occasions, she would stir inside her own mind to watch from afar what the mage tried to do to her. When he used his magic on her, she often roused, just a little, and was able to watch from within, though she didn’t look any different on the outside.

  He would kick her wolf body, and she wouldn’t feel the pain. Her mind was dissociated from her flesh. She knew she was bleeding. Hurt. Damaged. But she didn’t feel any of it. Not until she’d awakened on the stone slab in the center of the sacred circle.

  The power of that place had held her together. It had helped reunite her wandering spirit with her abused mortal body. She’d thought that had been the worst of it, but at odd moments, as she healed, she had started to remember things the Venifucus mages had said over the years. She didn’t remember all of it, yet. She wasn’t sure she wanted to remember any of it, but she was pretty sure it was important to know just how much damage they had done to her spirit…magically.

  For, while she’d mentally fled to the fey realm, her body remained locked in the mortal realm. In their control. Although most of her consciousness was elsewhere, she could not break the tie between body and mind completely. That would have meant certain death, and she’d wanted to live. She hadn’t been brave enough to end her own existence in such a way. She’d had a tiny flicker of hope…somehow…all along. A petite flame of rebellion against what had happened to her and a miniscule wish that—somehow, someday, some way—she would find her daughter again.

  That wish had come true, and Laura was overjoyed to be here, in Grizzly Cove, knowing her baby was happy and mated to a wonderful man who would always take care of her as she would him. She felt supremely blessed to be able to see her baby girl every day and talk about all the things they’d missed and all the happy times that were yet to come for them as a family. A small family but, hopefully, a growing one. Marilee was mated now, after all. Perhaps Laura would be a grandmother someday. The thought made her smile.

  But the problems of the past weren’t going to go away so easily. As she remembered odd snatches of conversation between the mages and felt these sinister stirrings inside her core, she wondered…and worried. Had they done something to her that would make her dangerous to her daughter, or others, or to the town, in general? She didn’t know, but she was maintaining a vigilant stance, watching her own power levels and noting any flares or shifts in energy.

  Like right now, as Gus went into the dining area and placed the bag of food on the table. She felt something almost painful twisting inside her. Not physically, but on the plane where magic existed. Something was waking up. Stirring. Watching… Hating.

  Fear coursed through her for a split second, and she opened her mouth to warn Gus, and then, suddenly…it was gone. Had she imagined it? Was it all a product of the anxiety that seemed to be building in her very bones?

  Laura shook her head and went to the table to help Gus set out the boxes of hot, delicious-smelling food. The odd feeling was gone for now. If it came back, she’d talk to him about it. Maybe Gus could help her…if she wasn’t imagining it. She just couldn’t be sure. Not yet, at any rate.

  The pieces of conversation she’d recalled were too fragmented, and the feeling she’d experienced up to now had been too vague. There’d been that one flash of violent hatred, but it had gone poof. Disappeared so fast, she wasn’t even sure if what she’d felt had been real, or some strange figment of her overactive imagination. Was she jumping at shadows? Or was there really something to be worried about?

  She would worry, regardless. Anxiety seemed to be her near-constant companion lately. But she’d been through a lot. She couldn’t expect for everything to be back to normal so soon after being freed. She might have issues for years to come, and the worst of it probably hadn’t quite hit her yet. She would watch and wait. She would continue her vigilance, and if something came of it, she knew to ask for help. She didn’t want to hurt anyone—herself or others. She’d seek help before it became an issue. That was her plan, at least.

  She put all that behind her for the moment and sat down to a lovely meal with Gus. He was a witty companion, and she enjoyed his steady, stable, calming company.

  Of course, he was also kind of exciting to be around, too. For one thing, he was sexy as all get out. He had those handsome eyes and chiseled cheeks. She wondered what his bear form looked like. She’d love to see it, but maybe not now. No, as dinner was consumed and dessert made an appearance, she started thinking about how much she’d rather see his naked human form right about now.

  It had been so long since she’d been with a man. She hadn’t thought she’d ever find another man attractive after committing her heart to her handsome mage, but Gus was doing things to her, without even trying. He was creating a yearning she had never expected to feel again. A wanting. A desire.

  Damn.

  “Are you all right, Laura?” Gus asked gently as they sat on the couch and sipped coffee after their meal. She hadn’t wanted the night to end, so she’d offered to make coffee, and he’d accepted.

  “I’m sorry,” she apologized immediately, knowing he’d caught her mind wandering. She blushed a little at the thoughts that had been going through her very naughty mind. “Gus…” she began hesitantly, “…you’re a shaman. You counsel people, right? About magical things, right?”

  He nodded, putting his coffee cup down on the saucer on the low table in front of the couch. His brows furrowed as he looked at her. “I do,” he confirmed. “Do you have something you want to talk about with me, Laura?”

  She set her cup down, too, keeping her eyes downcast. She didn’t think she could discuss this if she looked at him. He was just too attractive.

  “I’ve been worried about a few things. In particular, I’m concerned that maybe my mating with Roger wasn’t…real.” There. She’d said it aloud, and the earth hadn’t shattered. She dared to peek up at Gus, and he had a gentle expression on his calm face. He looked like he genuinely wanted to help, and it
gave her courage.

  “What makes you say that?” he asked in a quiet voice.

  “Well, I was so in love with him, and when I conceived Marilee, I assumed that was proof positive that Roger and I were true mates. I mean, isn’t that how it works? Shifters aren’t usually all that fertile with those not destined for them by the Goddess, right?”

  “That is the conventional wisdom,” Gus said in deliberate tones that didn’t really tell her what he thought about it. “Of course, you’re not completely shifter in your heritage. I don’t know how things work for fey. Maybe that influence changes things for your line. Was there ever any discussion of that in your family?” he asked.

  Laura shook her head. “My family objected to my leaving with Roger for the south, but I thought that was because they just didn’t want me to go. Our Pack was very close. It was hard to leave them.”

  “And, yet, you did,” Gus mused.

  “Roger was my mate, and I was pregnant. I wanted to be with him,” she said immediately.

  “But now, you’re wondering if the mating was real,” Gus reminded her. “Tell me. What makes you question it?”

  How could she tell Gus that she was concerned because she was attracted to him? No. She couldn’t do that. But what could she say? She hesitated before answering.

  “I don’t feel the way I would expect to feel if I had lost a true mate,” she said. “It’s not the soul-deep wound I would have expected. Then again, a lot of time has passed, but I always thought that wouldn’t matter. A true mate is for life. That’s what everyone says.”

  “What else?” he asked, not letting her off the hook.

  Dare she tell him more? She had, after all, been the one to ask for his counsel. She should at least give him some of the truth, if not all of it, so he could do as she asked and give the best advice possible. Otherwise, she would be short-changing them both.

  “I feel…things…when I’m around you, Gus. Things I probably shouldn’t be feeling if Roger had been my true mate.” She was both shocked and amazed that she’d found the nerve to tell him that flat out. Then again, she’d always been a bold woman when she was sure of her subject matter. It was only now, after twenty years of the world going on without her, that she found herself being hesitant about things because she was so far behind everyone else.

  Gus moved closer on the couch, taking her hand in his. “I feel things around you, too, Laura. Things that go way beyond what they should for a woman who’d already been mated to someone else. For what it’s worth, I feel instinctively that you were never truly mated to Roger. You may have had a child with him, but that’s not always absolute proof. For one thing, your fey blood might’ve had an influence, and for another—and forgive me for saying this—he was a mage. He could’ve done something…” Gus let his words trail off, but Laura knew exactly what he meant.

  “I’m sorry to admit that the thought had crossed my mind,” she told him, squeezing his hand gently. “I can see now, that my younger self was a bit of a headstrong fool, in love for the first time and extremely stupid about the entire situation. No wonder my family objected.”

  “They loved you,” he said gently, drawing closer. “I can see why. You’re an easy woman to admire.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Is it getting hot in here? It sure felt that way as Gus edged closer to her on the couch.

  His lips found hers, and that was the end of their discussion. What started gentle soon turned tempestuous. Gentle licks of his skilled tongue soon turned into demanding thrusts, mirroring what she wanted him to do to the rest of her body…with the rest of his.

  She lay back on the long couch, and he followed her down, covering her body with his. It felt so good. So warm and caring. So hot and needy.

  She pushed at his clothes, not very effective as she grabbed the fabric covering his shoulders and tried to push it away, but Gus got the message. He lifted up slightly, and then, his shirt was off, and tossed across the room.

  He had tanned skin and rippling muscles. Bear shifters were built on the big side, but Gus was different than the pseudo-linebackers that made up the town. He was as big as any grizzly, but he was lean and ripped, not bulky in any way. His human form was delectable, and she wanted to lick him all over.

  He broke their kiss again, when he sought permission, wordlessly, to help her rid herself of her top. She didn’t wait for him to do it. She tugged the offending material off over her head and let it sail across the room to follow his shirt. Then, she gasped as Gus’s lips closed over her shoulder, his sharp teeth grazing her skin in a tantalizing way before he moved inward to lick and kiss her neck. He moved downward as her chin lifted up, giving him free access. Damn. That felt so good.

  His skin was hot. Smooth. Perfect. She caressed him as he nibbled his way down her neck and then over her chest. Her bra was pulled aside by his eager teeth, and then, he licked her nipple, sending delicious shivers down her spine.

  She lost track of time while Gus made her feel things she’d thought long forgotten. He treated her like a queen, putting her pleasure first and foremost. She might have felt a little guilty about it, but she was enjoying herself too much to do anything about it. She’d pay him back—with interest—later. She was already thinking about the naughty things she could do to show her appreciation. With any luck, she’d remember her old skills, and the man wouldn’t know what hit him.

  That was the last thought she remembered thinking before Gus took them both to a whole new level. He kissed his way down her torso and then rid her of her pants in a masterful motion that left her gasping. It was sudden. It was exciting. And more than a little explosive. Her desire ratcheted up another notch as he relieved her of her pants and panties, then spread her out before him like a feast.

  His mouth returned to her body, and she just about lifted off the couch when his tongue touched her clit. The man knew what he was doing, and she cried out, grasping his hair in her hands as he brought her to a small completion.

  It had been far too long for her. Decades. But being with Gus this way wasn’t awkward in the least. In fact, the way he touched her gave her confidence. He made her feel desirable. Competent. Powerful. Never had a man made her feel quite this way, and it called into question everything that had come before in her life, but now was not a time for such deep thoughts.

  No, as Gus rose above her and met her gaze with a question in his own, there was only one thought possible. Only one answer to the question in his eyes.

  “Yes,” she breathed, and he smiled down at her, slowly joining his body to hers.

  He slid into her with gentle motions designed to make this as easy as possible on her. She hadn’t been with a man in many years, and his consideration brought a tear to her eye, even if it wasn’t really necessary. Her body seemed to remember what to do readily enough, and she was more than ready for his possession.

  He held her gaze throughout the joining, probably watching for any sign of distress. He was such a caring man. She could easily love him. A scary thought. The last man she’d loved had left her with many questions and her life in ruins. She wasn’t sure what this next chapter of her existence would bring, but she was going to be more careful about who she trusted with her heart, this time.

  But Gus really made her want to throw caution to the wind, again. For now, she’d just enjoy the moment…and the man. Never had she felt so alive. Perhaps it was because she’d been essentially comatose for so very long, but Gus’s possession brought her back to the mortal world fully…forcefully…finally.

  Their eyes held as he began to move. Her inner wolf came out in the low growl that issued from deep in her chest. It was a sound of approval, of play and challenge, all in one. Gus answered her beast with a rumbling tone of his own. Fuller. Deeper. Bigger. He was a bear, and her wolf knew it, but the wolf also knew this bear would never hurt her. This bear had shown her only kindness, and now, he was showing her what passion could be, all over again.

  It had been so long�
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  Gus’s movements were gentle at first as he looked deep into her eyes…into her soul. She couldn’t look away. Perhaps it was his magic. Perhaps it was just the man, himself. Whatever it was, she wanted more of it. Of him.

  She grasped his arms, loving the hard feel of his muscles under the velvet of his skin. His deep brown eyes held hints of his power. Swirls of magic lit him from within to her keen sight. He was even more magical then most of the amazing bears she’d seen in this town, and the way he looked at her stole her breath, sometimes. As he moved within her, it felt like he was looking into her heart, and the focused expression on his face as he brought her to peak after peak spoke to her of care and determination to please her.

  How had she gotten so lucky as to find a man like this? A lover who put her needs before his own, as he was doing, now. She cried out at the climax that hit her all at once, and still, he kept going. Powering within her, he brought her up again to the precipice, but this time, he flew over it with her, carrying them both out into the abyss where only pleasure existed. Just for the two of them.

  The next morning, Gus was gone before Laura woke. She woke up, expecting to feel buyer’s remorse, but instead, she just blushed when she remembered the tender way he’d made love to her all night. And it had been all night. Male shifters had a reputation for having more…ahem…stamina than the average male. There were various legends about the different types of shifters and their sexual proclivities and habits. After last night, she believed every last little juicy piece of gossip she’d ever heard about bear shifters.

  It really was true. They could go all night long. And they were patient. A least, Gus was. He’d been patient, kind and understanding of her periodic moments of hesitation. He’d led her through them so beautifully. It had just been so long since she’d been with a man. Every touch, every caress, had told her without words that Gus understood. What a fantastic guy. And he was a hell of a lover. She found herself smiling, and her cheeks flushed with heat as she remembered some of the highlights of the night before.