Here and Now

by T. Renee Fike

  I figured I should check on you and you are obviously intoxicated.”

  “Me, no way, I’m buzzed, but not drunk,” she defends.

  “Are you sure about that?” I ask with a look.

  “Yeah, I’m really excited for you, Jon is awesome and hot, God I bet he’s great in bed,” she says bluntly.

  “Why didn’t you go for him?” I ask, knowing she’s known him for a long time, so why push me towards him if she has a crush?

  “We kissed once and it felt awkward, so friends it is and all it will ever be.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Positive, it was like kissing a brother, it was totally weird; no sparks, no fireworks, just nothing,” she says as she shakes her head.

  “Okay, that’s good to know,” I chuckle. “How much longer did you want to stay?”

  She glances at her phone, “It’s going on two, we can head back now,” she says as she stands up.

  We make our way around to people to say goodbyes before leaving. I give Jon my phone number so he can text me in the morning and we can figure out where to meet up for lunch.

  On the walk home, my phone starts blowing up. Looking down, I see Evan’s name.

  “Why’s he calling?” Dani asks with an angry looking face.

  “I don’t know, he doesn’t usually call me,” I say before hitting answer.

  “Hello,” I say.

  “Bay, shit,” he mumbles and I can tell immediately that something’s wrong.

  “What happened?” I ask, trying to sound calmer than I am.

  “It’s Owen, he’s been in an accident,” he says nervously.

  “What kind of accident?” I ask as I stop walking, my feet feeling like cement on the sidewalk.

  “It’s bad Bay, it was a car accident.”

  “How bad? Can I talk to him?” I ask, hoping for the best.

  “He’s in surgery, it’s bad Bay, it’s really bad,” he says, sounding like he may be crying.

  “What happened Evan?” I ask, feeling a tear escape down my cheek. Dani stares at me, panic written all over her face, clearly she can hear the conversation, so she knows what’s going on.

  “He decided to be the designated driver tonight because everyone was getting smashed; he dropped everyone off and was headed home.”

  “Then what happened?” I ask, sounding more urgent, wanting to know now.

  “He was hit head on; the driver fell asleep at the wheel.”

  “Text me the hospital, I’m on my way,” I say before hanging up the phone and running towards my car. Dani is right behind me, and as soon as I unlock the car I’m inside and starting the engine.

  “Are you sure you should be driving?” Dani asks me.

  “I didn’t drink much,” I snap, ripping out of the parking lot, needing to get to my brother as quickly as possible.

  “I didn’t mean that, I meant because it’s your brother, I can drive,” she says.

  “No, you drank a good amount tonight, plus we need to get there as soon as possible,” I say as I floor it to get us to the highway. It takes Dani seconds to grab her seatbelt and buckle up.

  “You need to get there alive though Bay, you need to slow down some because we don’t need to get in an accident and you don’t need pulled over either.”

  Knowing she’s right, I slow down a little. My phone chimes and I see the text from Evan giving me the hospital and the address. Not needing the address, I know the hospital well; it’s where my mom works.

  Mom…I need to call mom.

  Not caring what time it is, I dial my mom’s cell phone waiting for her to answer. It goes straight to voicemail. So I call back again, and again, and again, no answer.

  “Fucking shit,” I snap before tossing my phone angrily.

  “Bay, your mom is probably at the hospital, you said she practically lives there, so I’m sure she already knows and is maybe even in surgery with Owen,” Dani says, trying to calm me down.

  Three and a half hours it takes to get to the hospital and not one call from anyone. Not an update from Evan, not a word from my mom or dad, absolutely nothing. I can’t decide whether to be angry or sad at this information.

  I park as close as possible before getting out of the car and rushing inside. The hospital is pretty quiet, but considering the time and how it’s so early, doesn’t surprise me. I wait for the receptionist who looks like she could use a nap and ask for my brother. She tells us he’s in surgery, but that we can go to the sixth floor waiting area.

  Dani and I rush down the hall toward the elevators and wait patiently while it comes to pick us up. Once it opens, I’m in and pushing the button six so it hurries up, though it doesn’t move any faster. Finally the door shuts, yet it takes forever to move up to the sixth floor.

  As soon as we get to the waiting room, I see Evan. He looks like he’s in desperate need of sleep.

  “How’s he doing?” I ask as soon as I enter the waiting room.

  “Still in surgery, your mom’s in there, though they won’t let her work on him.”

  “Do you know anything yet?” I ask, hoping to hear more.

  “Your mom came out once telling me it’s bad, but that they are doing everything they can. She told me she would be back out to update me again, once she knows something,” he says, looking sad.

  “If you want to go home and get some sleep, I can keep you posted as soon as I know anything,” I tell him.

  “No, I’m good, I’m not leaving until he wakes up,” Evan says quickly.

  “You look drunk,” Dani points out.

  “I was, I’m pretty sober now,” he says, as he looks straight at me. “Bay, I’m really sorry.”

  “Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I know, but if we would have left earlier, or if I would have had him come in and hang out, this wouldn’t have happened,” he says solemnly.

  “You can’t do the what-if’s game Evan. All we can do is hope that everything is fine and that Owen is going to be his normal self soon. He would kick your ass for even talking like you are right now,” I inform him.

  I’ve already thought the same thing; would it have happened if I would have come home this weekend? Could I have prevented the accident somehow? Should I have called him, could that have made him pull over to talk to me? So many questions run through my mind, but I can’t focus on them right now, I need to know my brother is okay.

  Two hours later my mom comes walking towards us. “Baylee?” she says, looking confused and shocked.

  “I called her,” Evan says.

  “I was going to call you once I knew more,” she says to me. “He’s out of surgery, but there’s swelling and he slipped into a coma,” she says, causing the tears to fall freely from my face.

  “How long is he going to be in a coma?” I ask, needing answers.

  She starts to shake her head, “I have no idea honey,” she says as she comes over and hugs me, “It’s not good though. I think you guys should sit,” she instructs us all.

  “Why?” I ask, looking up at her.

  She guides me to the chair and takes a seat beside me; Evan and Dani also sit down, listening to my mom’s instructions.

  “The accident was bad, based on Owen’s injuries, he may be paralyzed,” she says, speaking English to us.

  “What?” I shout, not believing the words she just said.

  “There’s extensive damage, he’s going to be monitored, but based on how he was hit he may not have movement,” she says again.

  “He can’t move at all?” I ask.

  “I’m not sure if it’s from the neck down or the waist down at this time, all we can do is wait sweetie,” she says, as she hugs me again.

  The tears fall, my brother, my fun loving life brother may never walk again? That can’t be, he won’t know what to do. He’d never be able to play ball again, he’d never be able to do the things he loves; no, this can’t happen, he has to be able to walk again.

  “I
s he going to be okay though?” Evan asks, sounding like he has a frog caught in his throat.

  “At this point, all we can do is wait,” Mom says, sounding stronger than ever. I don’t know how, I’m a mess; I would think she would be a mess too.

  I’m going to go talk to his doctor and see if I can find anything else out, you guys need to stay here,” Mom says as she stands up. “I’ll keep you posted as soon as I find anything out,” she says before leaving the room.

  “How the hell is your mom so strong?” Dani asks, tears flowing down her face.

  “She’s a surgeon, she’s used to giving bad news,” Evan says, answering for me.

  “But this is her baby,” Dani says.

  “She’ll cry later, she doesn’t like to cry or show emotion in front of us, she’s always been that way,” I say as I wipe some tears.

  Evan moves over a seat beside me, he puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side, “Your brother is the strongest guy I know, he’s going to fight this, and he’s going to fight to walk again, so you have to stay positive,” he says softly.

  “I know,” I whisper.

  Mom comes back twenty minutes later, “There’s not going to be a change for a while, why don’t you guys go home, get some rest, you can come back later,” she says.

  “I don’t want to leave, he needs to know I’m here when he wakes up,” I say as I stand up.

  “Sweetie, I’m here, and I’ll call you if that happens, but it usually doesn’t happen that fast,” she says as she hugs me again, squeezing me tightly to her. I hug her back, not wanting to let go, I need her to be able to fix him.

  “You promise you’ll call?” Evan asks as he stands.

  “Yes, as soon as I know anything,” Mom says over my shoulder.

  “I’ll drive you guys home,” Evan says.

  I don’t bother to argue. I hug my mom goodbye and the three of us walk out of the hospital. We follow Evan to his car and climb in, no one says a word.

  The drive isn’t long because I don’t live far from the hospital. “You can stay here if you want, we have plenty of extra beds,” I inform him, though I know he already knows my house inside and out.

  “I’m going to head home and change too, plus I need a shower,” he says kindly. “If you hear anything, let me know, I’ll be back at the hospital in no time,” he says.

  “Will do, thanks for calling me Ev, I really appreciate it,” I say as I climb out of the car.

  “Anytime Baylee, anytime.”

  I close the door and Dani and I head inside. I’m in need of sleep, though I’m not sure it’s going to happen at all. How can I sleep when my mind won’t stop racing about Owen and how he may never walk again, hell he may not even wake up. I show Dani to a spare room, her eyes were huge when we entered the house, but she never said a word.

  I lie down, hoping exhaustion takes over, which is does. Hopefully, when I wake up, this will all be a bad dream.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Waking up, I have a huge headache and it takes me a moment to realize where I’m at, that’s when reality hits, last night wasn’t a bad dream. Hopping up, I grab a quick shower and throw on some yoga pants and a sweatshirt before rushing downstairs.

  “Hey,” Dani says from the kitchen across from Evan, “There’s coffee,” she says as she nods to the pot.

  I’m not a big coffee drinker, but I need something and it’s going to have to do.

  “Thanks,” I say as I go and pour myself a cup, adding sugar and creamer to it.

  “I take it your mom hasn’t called?” Evan asks.

  “No,” I say, pulling out my phone and checking it again.

  Just then the door opens and in walks my dad, “Hey kiddo,” he says as he comes over and wraps me in a hug. “How are you holding up?” he asks.

  “I’ll be better when I know more about how Owen’s doing,” I say, not holding back.

  “I talked to your mom,” he says, causing me to step back and look at him, “he’s in a coma and they aren’t sure on his paralysis yet.”

  “So nothing’s changed,” I say, feeling defeated.

  “Nothing yet kiddo, but you need to think positive, you have a very strong and stubborn brother,” Dad says.

  “He’s right,” Evan says with a small smile. I get that they are trying to make me feel better, but the only way I’m going to feel better is to talk to my brother and right now that’s not an option.

  “I think I’m going to head back to the hospital and wait,” I say as I walk over to the cupboard and pull out a travel cup, dumping my coffee in a cup to go.

  “We’ll go along,” Evan says quickly, while Dani jumps to her feet.

  “Did you want something else to wear?” I ask Dani, noticing she’s in the same outfit from last night.

  “That would be great,” she says with a weak smile.

  “Come on,” I say as I head upstairs to my room to grab her some clothes.

  “You’re house is freaking humongous. You never told me your family was loaded,” she says.

  “My dad’s a lawyer, mom’s a surgeon, so yeah big house, lots of money, but the family interaction wasn’t there. It’s safe to say I’d have given this all up to have quality family time.”

  “Is that why you and Owen are as close are you are?” she asks.

  “Yeah, we are all each other had,” I say as I open my bedroom door. “You can grab a shower too if you’d like,” I say, feeling like I shouldn’t be rushing like I am.

  “I’ll make it quick,” she says as she takes the clothes from my hands. I point her to the bathroom and she rushes in and the water starts immediately.

  I head back downstairs and hear my dad talking to Evan.

  “Hey,” I say as I enter the room, causing their conversation to end immediately. “Dani’s grabbing a quick shower, and then we can head out.”

  “You drove right?” Evan asks me.

  “Yeah, my car’s still at the hospital.”

  “I’m not going back for a few days; I want to be here when he wakes up. Do you want to let Dani take your car back to school and I can drive us when he wakes up?” he asks.

  “Yeah, that works,” I say, knowing I have no idea when I’m going to be going back to school now. Owen is my main priority; everything else is just going to have to wait.

  “Baylee,” Dad says in a stern voice, “I see the wheels turning, you aren’t giving up on your education because you don’t know how things are going to go for Owen. You can stay a few days, but Evan is going to take you back and you will continue your classes. Your mother and I will keep you updated and if something changes then you can rush back, but you aren’t going to stop living your life, do you hear me?” he says, looking serious.

  “I hear you,” I say, knowing damn well I have no plan on leaving, not until I know Owen is okay.

  Twenty minutes later we are getting into Evan’s car and he’s taking us back to the hospital. Heading inside, I can’t help but get this eerie feeling, like something is wrong. We head back to the sixth floor and I spot my mom immediately.

  “How’s he doing?” I ask as I rush up to her.

  She looks tired and drained, she also looks like she’s been crying, which is odd for my mom.

  “Come, let’s sit,” she says as she leads us to an empty room. I take a seat on the bed, mom right beside me, Evan on the other side of the bed and Dani in the chair.

  “He’s still in a coma,” she says looking solemn.

  “Can he move his arms and legs?” Evan asks, not holding back.

  “It doesn’t appear so,” she says, her eyes filling up with tears.

  “He’s paralyzed?” I ask, as tears spill down my face.

  “It looks that way sweetheart. They are still running tests, but so far everything is coming back showing he has severe fractures.”

  “No, not Owen, how, why?” I cry, as my mom hugs me tightly.

  “I know sweetie, I know,” she says, crying right along with me. I
don’t bother to look at Evan or Dani, I can hear their sniffles.

  “What happens now?” I ask through my tears.

  “Now, we wait until he wakes up and then we figure out a plan of action from there.”

  “What do you need me to do?” I ask, as I wipe away some tears.

  “We need you to continue to live your life. You will not be stuck here, trying to take care of your brother, we will hire people to do that if need be, plus we are here to help him.”

  “I’ll be here to help too,” I say quickly.

  “No Baylee you won’t be,” she says sternly, “You are going to go back to school and your father and I are going to take care of Owen.”

  “I can’t leave him,” I defend.

  “You can stay here for two to three days max, and then you are going back to school. I will update you and Evan, but we are not going to let you throw away your future, Owen wouldn’t want you to do that either,” she says.

  “Your mom’s right Bay, Owen would be pissed at you if you did that,” Evan says, being the sounding board for my brother.

  “I don’t want to leave until he wakes up,” I argue.

  “That could be months sweetie. I’ll be here, I’ll keep you informed and when he wakes up, I’ll have him call you just so you can hear him, okay?” she asks.

  “I rather stay here,” I retort, knowing damn well I don’t want to leave in a few days.

  “This isn’t negotiable Baylee,” Mom says, “Your father and I already discussed it.”

  “Can I see him?” I ask, needing to change the subject right now.

  There is no way I’m leaving, school can wait, Owen needs me and I’m going to be by his side until he wakes up. He needs to know I’m here.

  “Yeah, I’ll take you to his room,” Mom says as she stands up.

  The three of us follow my mom to his room, it feels surreal, this can’t be happening, but it is. My brother, the fun loving, outgoing guy who lived life to the fullest; now in a coma and fighting for his life, a life that may never be the same again.

  “I’m going to wait out here,” Dani says as we reach my brothers room.