by Mj Fields
���Come with me,��� he said softly and they went into the bathroom which he had designed.
There was a shower that sprayed jets everywhere, she smiled as she remembered their first shower together and he did too.
���We have warm water,��� he kissed her hand.
���I don���t even know where to start Collin.���
���How about the bedroom floor?���
He grabbed the glasses and sat down on the floor, and she joined him.
He handed her one, ���Tessa to you, my first and last kiss.���
They toasted and drank.
She got up to set the glasses down, and he smiled, ���The floor or the bed?���
���The bed please,��� she said and climbed up in it.
He pulled her pants down and took her underwear with his teeth, he gently kissed between her legs and she squirmed.
He kissed her belly and cringed, ���Collin seriously!��� Tessa laughed, and he raised his eyebrow, ���Keep going.���
He lifted her shirt, ���Damn Tessa they are absolutely amazing!���
He licked her nipples and blew on them lightly she moaned, and he took one in his mouth. His hand was busy, and his mouth full and she was already on fire.
���Please take those clothes off I want to touch you��� he did as she asked.
She pushed him over and slowly raised his arms above his head as she moved her hips until she found exactly what she wanted. She smiled and sat up slowly and moved her hips in circles until he was deep inside her.
���Sit back and enjoy,��� she smiled.
He put his hands behind his head and looked up at her, his eyes were heavy and full of desire. She reached over and grabbed her phone out of her pants pocket as she moved. She closed her eyes and played with her phone until it was on camera. She arched her back and grabbed one of her breasts and moaned. He pushed into her, and she smiled continuing to move in a circular motion but faster.
���Tessa,��� he moaned, anticipating his needs she moved faster.
She moved back and forth faster and with more force and he opened his mouth and eyes and moaned as his nostrils flared and she snapped a picture and smiled. He laughed and grabbed for the phone, and she moved faster and he laid back, she quickly turned around so that her back was facing him and he grabbed her hips and guided her. She arched her back and cried out. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her and followed. He pulled her back to him and she rolled over and they held each other.
She stood up and went into the bathroom. She washed her hands and looked at the ground there was a scale. She stood on it and gasped.
���Did you do this on purpose?��� she yelled.
He walked in, ���What Tessa?���
���This,��� she kicked the scale. ���Damn it,��� she said and grabbed her foot.
He watched her amused. ���Did you hurt yourself?���
���Yes! Get that damn thing out of here,��� she stormed out.
She walked by and went in the closet and grabbed one of his sweatshirts and a pair of underwear.
He walked in rubbing his head with one hand and the scale was in the other. ���Tessa you want this������
���Throw it out,��� she climbed in bed.
She fell asleep.
When she woke, he was holding her.
���Are you hungry?���
���Very funny,��� she huffed.
���Tessa, what is going on?���
���Collin don���t play stupid, you���re not, so don���t. The scale, you don���t have a scale at your house. If you think I am getting fat ��� fill me in don���t have a scale, subtle pisses me off!��� she yelled and got up and walked into the bathroom.
He sat there and shook his head and had no idea what to say. He stood up and opened the bathroom door, and she was sitting on the floor angry.
He sat down next to her and grabbed her hand, ���Tessa you���re beautiful, I had a scale at my, our place on the Cape, and it broke. I don���t think you���re fat, I think you���re beautiful. By the way,��� he said putting his arm around her, ���when you���re pregnant you are supposed to gain weight.���
���Has my ass gotten bigger?��� She asked looking down
���What?��� he smiled.
���It did last time, Lucas told me my ass had grown, so is my ass bigger?���
���Oh, so because he made you feel insecure it��� no Tessa your ass has not gotten bigger, but Lucas is a big ass! We���re probably going to have company soon so would you get your beautiful ass up and stop being ridiculous.���
���He wasn���t being an ass Collin��� he liked it bigger, he wanted it,��� she said and stood up. ���I was asking you to tell me if you put the scale in here so that I���d realize I was getting fat.���
���Tessa I���m unsure of how you expect me to react to that news or confessional or hint that you may be missing Lucas and all the fun he was! I���m borderline pissed off right now, and we just got here three hours ago.���
She jumped up and yelled, ���You started this, I don���t miss him, and you���re an asshole.���
He turned around and walked up and grabbed her.
���I bought a scale Tessa, I bought many things, for you and your being ���God,��� he walked away.
���Don���t do that!��� she sat down and cried.
He turned and looked at her took a deep breath and calmly asked, ���Don���t do what Tessa?���
���Don���t be mad at me, please don���t be mad at me,��� she said and cried.
He reached down and pulled her up, ���Why? You���re mad at me.���
He walked her into their room, and she sat on the bed.
���No, I���m pregnant and fat and tired, and I am being a mean nasty bitch,��� she threw herself back, ���I���m sorry I suck!���
He smiled and lay down next to her and put his arm around her.
���You���re not fat, I���m sure you���re tired, and don���t ever be sorry that you suck, I kind of like that about you,��� Collin kissed her.
���Collin I���ve gained twelve pounds.���
���And do you know what tomorrow is Tessa?��� he held her hand.
���No,��� she pouted and kicked her foot.
���Our three-month anniversary. Our first full day in our house. Your doctor appointment,��� he said rubbing her belly, ���and you���re going to be in your second trimester. Life is good, it is better than good, it is perfect.���
���I���m sorry, everything you did and I���m acting horrible. I���m sorry,��� she rolled into him and kissed him and sat up. ���Can we try this again?���
���Yeah, I think that���s a good idea.���
That night her family and all the kids showed up, they brought Leia with them. They were amazed by what he had done to surprise her. She stayed glued to Collins side feeling very ashamed of how she had acted. He knew she felt bad and enjoyed the making up part.
* * *
���We have some lab results that concern me; your HCG is very elevated so we would like to do an ultrasound to see exactly what is going on in there.���
Tessa lay on the table and watched the screen and smiled and looked at Collin, who seemed a cross between confused and concerned.
���Does everything look alright?���
���Yes,��� Tessa laughed and looked at the radiologist. �
��Please tell me I���m not seeing things.���
���No, you���re not, there are two.���
Tessa looked at Collin and smiled, ���Are you going to be okay?���
���Yes, actually that���s great,��� Collin held and caressed her hand.
The doctor told them what to expect and that all the measurements looked great. They could find out the sex in eight weeks and that she should expect monthly appointments. Collin asked a lot of questions about activity and travel. The doctor okayed their travel plans but told them at five months he would prefer she stay close to home, they could resume their normal activities unless it became uncomfortable. Tessa laid smiling and rubbed her slightly larger belly, he watched her and smiled. She didn���t seem concerned at all, which made his worries go away.
They went out to lunch and did some shopping. When they got home, she walked into the room that was next to theirs, the nursery. She brought a pencil and paper and started to sketch how the room would look with two cribs. He walked in and sat on the floor behind her and pulled her up against him. She laid back and reached up and ran her hands through his hair.
He kissed her neck. ���Do you have it all figured out yet?���
���No, not until we find out what they are,��� she said. ���How about you? Are you overwhelmed by this?���
���No, actually you seem happy, quiet but happy. I���m sure everything is going to be fine, better than fine,��� he kissed her again, ���Are you sure you still want to go to Nicaragua?���
���Yes, if you���re going ��� so am I,��� she laughed.
���Do you think we should make some calls and let your family know our news?��� he asked.
���What do you think?��� she turned to look at him.
���That���s up to you. I just think they may be a little more concerned with our travel plans. Maybe we could keep it between us until we���re there?��� he said hoping she wouldn���t get angry.
���I agree,��� she said ���not just because of them but because this is perfect and beautiful, and I want to keep it for us to enjoy for now.���
* * *
They hosted Christmas at their house, and she wondered how different this must be for him than his past Christmas���. He didn���t talk about his past that much and indulged her overzealous ideas of what Christmas should be. He flew to the Cape for two days, and she stayed home. They would be leaving on January third for South America, and she wanted to spend as much time with her family as she could before they left. He was going to be busy and preferred her be surrounded by them than alone.
* * *
She walked into Jades and Ryan���s and started to cry.
���Tessa what is going on?��� Jade hugged her.
���I love my husband Jade with everything I am, but I miss Lucas. What the hell is wrong with me? I���ve felt guilty about being happy since we went to camp at his house. I don���t know how he felt about us being there but a few hours ago it hit me that it was incredibly insensitive and��� what a bitch I am!���
���Tessa I don���t think we should talk about this right now,��� Jade whispered as she soothed her.
���Why Jade? I couldn���t sleep last night wondering if he was happy and okay and I should hate him, but I don���t. I miss him so much,��� she cried.
���Well, that���s silly��� she heard from over her shoulder. ���You could always call and ask yourself.���
Tessa froze and looked up at Jade, ���Shit.���
Lucas laughed. She felt him sit down next to her and ruffled her hair.
���I need to go, sorry,��� Tessa stood up.
���Oh no, you don���t, have a seat,��� Lucas pulled her down.
���Look ��� this isn���t what I came here for and I���m sorry,��� she said wiping her face.
���Tessa it���s perfectly normal to miss someone you spent so much of your life with,��� Jade said. ���It doesn���t mean there is anything wrong with you. And the fact that you never ask is far more than I can say for Lucas.��� She said and laughed. ���He misses you too, Tessa.���
���Nice Jade,��� Lucas snapped.
���But he knows you���re happy and safe and married and pregnant��� holy shit you���re getting big already.���
���Thanks for pointing that out Jade,��� Tessa wiped her face and still hadn���t turned to look at him.
���Yeah, I wouldn���t do that she gets pissed,��� Lucas laughed. ���How is everything going? You���re just past the scary part right?���
���Yes and things are perfect, the house, the pregnancy, my husband, my sex life, my work, everything is perfect,��� Tessa stomped her foot.
Lucas and Jade laughed.
���So what���s the problem? You miss being treated like shit?��� he asked.
���No Lucas, not at all. I miss knowing you���re okay,��� Tessa turned and looked at him with tears in her eyes.
���I���m great. My sex life, however, hasn���t been the same in quite some time,��� he laughed. Tessa scowled at him, ���Did I say something wrong?���
���No, you asshole, I���m concerned about everything else,��� she said. ���You, your family, whether or not you have found someone who loves you and if you have, I don���t know if you���re happy. Jessie wasn���t at camp, and I don���t want you to be lonely.���
���You can come on over any time you think I���m lonely, Tessa,��� he laughed. ���I am better than I was when you first met me,��� Lucas hugged her and she finally let out a breath.
She laughed ���How are the girls and your parents and Audrianna?���
���Pretty perfect,��� Lucas smiled, ���Thanks for asking.���
���Okay, I need to go,��� she stood up.
���You feel better?��� Lucas asked.
���Yes in a way, but I feel bad for all of this and I know it���ll probably hurt him.���
���Don���t tell him it���s not a big deal,��� Lucas shook his head from side to side. ���We can have secrets Tessa, you and I. It���s not like I dragged you upstairs and fu������
���Lucas!���
���What?��� he smirked.
���We share everything even the not so pleasant things, and I know I would be so angry with him,��� she shook her head.
���Do you know all about his past relationships Tessa?��� he asked.
���I don���t need to; I know that he would never cheat on me. I know that I trust him one hundred percent. He���s amazing,��� she said.
���Then why do you miss me Tessa?��� he asked looking at her.
���Because I���m fucking stupid,��� she said and walked out.
* * *
Collin came home, and she was waiting in their bed.
���I���ve missed you,��� she said.
���I see that, the feeling is absolutely mutual,��� he said as he took his tie off and slipped out of his clothes. ���You look beautiful.���
He kissed her belly, ���Daddy���s home, babies.���
She pushed him down and went down on him. He sat back and smiled, he twisted her hair and pulled it to the side and gently guided her head.
���You���re amazing, I don���t deserve you,��� he moaned and laid back and enjoyed every moment when he finished he sat up an
d looked at her
���What���s wrong beautiful?��� he hugged her.
���I have to tell you something, and I think you���re going to be angry.���
���I could never be angry at you. Alright tell me,��� he smiled.
She told him every detail about her going over to Jades. He stood up without saying a word and walked into the bathroom and showered. He walked out and dressed quickly
���I���ll be back. Then we can figure out what we are going to do about this mess that you seem to be trying to make.���
���Where are you going?��� she yelled.
���Don���t worry about it,��� he said.
���Fine, just like I have no clue about your past relationships, and you know everything about me, and you���re pissed? At least I tell you!��� she yelled. ���And I trust you enough to go leave for day���s even weeks without knowing anything.���
���Maybe that���s because I have nothing to hide Tessa, but you obviously have some nasty deep unresolved feelings, WIFE!��� he yelled and walked out.
She heard him tear down the driveway and she called Jade, again worried about Lucas.
���Ryan is there but Tessa��� you need to stop. He loves you, and you love him, Lucas is fine if he ever needed you I will promise I���ll let you know. But don���t ruin this,��� Jade said.
Tessa packed a bag and texted Collin.
- I Love you, I���m sorry, I���m going to stay at my parents for a couple of days. This is your home, and I know you have a lot to do before the trip. I don���t know what else to say Collin, except that I love you��� Tessa
She walked in the door with Leia, and no one was home, she went upstairs and fell asleep.
He pulled into the driveway and walked in the house. Leia didn���t greet him, and Tessa didn���t answer his text. He knew she was trying to be honest and open with him and she was right that she knew nothing about his past. But there really was nothing to tell: he was never in love before her, and he had never cared for anyone else besides his family and Lou. He needed to see her. He sat on the bed and sent her a message. He heard her phone, it was on the bed. He picked it up and saw the picture she had taken of him while she sat on top of him.