No Love Lost (Masters and Mercenaries: The Forgotten Book 5)

by Lexi Blake

  He kissed her again, his tongue going deep, sliding against hers and bringing her right back to aroused as hell, though this time it was tinged with deep emotion. There had been something so good about telling him how she’d felt all these years.

  She could feel his cock, long and hard against her belly.

  What did she owe to herself?

  Did she owe herself one last chance at happiness? Should she simply take every chance she had, never giving up on finding what she needed? Never shutting herself off?

  Never giving in and truly becoming the Solo she’d been on track to be when she’d found Beck. The Solo who needed no one, cared for nothing but her own ambition. She’d joined the Agency because she’d wanted the cold precision it offered, wanted to numb herself out, and hadn’t it been irony that she’d found the one man who could tear down all her walls.

  Did she really want to live behind walls for the rest of her life?

  She let her arms wrap around him and she surrendered to the inevitable. She loved him. She didn’t want to stop loving him. Maybe if she could have stayed away from him… No, if he hadn’t come back into her life, she’d been ready to live it strictly for Roman. She hadn’t even wanted another man, hadn’t wanted this connection with anyone but Beck.

  But she owed herself more. If she was going to try, she was going to do it her way. “I’m not living here in Dallas. There’s some place else I want to be.”

  He backed her up against the wall, right next to the cross where he’d bound her, trying to force her to break.

  Because sometimes a person had to break down to build back up again. To be stronger. To want more.

  “Anywhere,” he vowed. “I’ll go anywhere with you.”

  She felt the wall against her back as he pressed her there. He positioned her so his cock was rubbing against her clit, and she was so aware he wasn’t wearing that piece of latex that he usually would. “You can’t work for McKay-Taggart if you’re not in one of their cities.”

  He pulled her leg up, urging her to wind herself around him. “I’ll get another job. Or I’ll become a stay-at-home dad. I don’t care. My job will be loving you, building a future with you. I love you so much.”

  She couldn’t say it back. “I don’t know if I can ever fully love you again.”

  “I’ll make you believe. I’ll make you believe in me again, in us. All I need is a chance. Give us a chance. I won’t let you down this time.” He winced and started to pull away. “I’ve got to…”

  She lightly dug her nails in, holding him tight. “I want more kids. I want Roman to have a brother or a sister.”

  If she was in, she was going all in. She wanted everything they should have had the first time. She waited for him to argue with her, to tell her they needed time to adjust. It was what the old Beck would have done. It was precisely why they hadn’t had a kid back then. She’d wanted to step back from work, and he’d wanted to give it a little time.

  She’d learned time was the one thing she couldn’t get back.

  “I know I should argue, but I won’t ever make you wait again,” he promised. “Hold on to me.”

  She wrapped her arms around him and gasped as he entered her in one powerful thrust.

  The little pains in her nipples and on her ass were incidental now. All that mattered was how good it was to have Beck inside her once again.

  She would try. She would give them another chance. If he would really let her decide where they lived, where they worked, then he’d changed.

  “You can’t leave me again,” she said as the pleasure started to build inside her.

  “Never. We’ll fight it out. No matter what, we’ll stay together,” he promised and then he kissed her again, letting his mouth take hers, drinking down the shout that came as she went over the edge.

  He ground out his own orgasm and held her tight.

  They were still for a moment. She breathed him in.

  “I’m still mad at you,” she said quietly. “But I’m not going anywhere.”

  He nuzzled her neck. “I’ll take it because I am so in love with you.”

  She kissed him, content with her choice. They would see where they went from here.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Beck looked around the party and felt a deep satisfaction invading his bones. It hadn’t even been a day since Kim had chosen to give him another chance, but he felt like his whole world had changed from black and white to glorious color.

  He’d gotten to take his family home the night before. All of them, since Kim was moving into his room—where she belonged—and that freed up a bed for his brother. They’d woken up this morning and had breakfast as a family. They’d gotten ready for the party and he and his brother had argued over the best Scotch to get for Ian’s birthday, and Kim had finally rolled her eyes and told him she was rethinking her position on more kids if they all fought like he and Ezra.

  Then he’d pinned her to the bed and made her rethink her position all over again.

  “Your kid looks like he’s fitting in nicely.” A hand patted his shoulder. Theo Taggart was wearing a pair of board shorts and a tank top, sunglasses over his eyes. He was ready for some fun in the sun. The lake house’s massive yard was filled with people eating and laughing and talking. There were a bunch of kids in the pool, and the bouncy house Tag had set up was rocking.

  He was going to miss this family he’d made for himself, but he had to follow his heart and she wasn’t going to be happy here. He could be happy anywhere as long as they were together. “I think Roman is learning to make friends quite well. But I’m afraid he’s going to have to take that new talent and put it to use someplace else.”

  Theo set his beer on the table as one of the kids giggled while going down the slide and hitting the water with a splash. “You’re not staying? Solo wants you to go back to Europe?”

  “She’s Kim. Solo was her Agency name, and she’s not with the Agency anymore.” Across the pool, he saw his brother talking to Avery and Li. He was sitting on a chaise lounge. He had his brother back. He never thought he would see him again, but there he was with a smile on his face.

  “Kim.” Theo nodded. “It suits her.”

  “I wish you all would pick one name and stick to it.” Owen joined them. Rob and Ariel and their daughter had been staying at Theo and Erin’s place, Owen and Tucker at the Dean-Miles house, and Jax, River, and the kids were staying with Ian and Charlotte.

  But now they were all at this gorgeous lake house Ian and Sean had purchased a few years before. It had become a regular weekend hangout for the whole crew. He came out a few times a year, and he’d always wanted to take Kim hiking. They weren’t far from the city here, but they were surrounded by nature, and she’d always loved to get away.

  “I promise this is the last name change. We’re all going to stick to the ones we’ve got.” Although he intended to talk to Kim about Roman’s last name. Technically Roman shared a last name with her uncle. But he wanted them all to have the same last name. His. Hers. It didn’t matter as long as it was theirs.

  Rob and Tucker walked up, Rob cradling his tiny baby girl in his arms. Jax was right behind them, and he was carrying a tray of what looked like shots.

  “I heard you might be turning in your notice soon,” Rob said. “Tell me you’re coming to Europe. Come on, man. London is a great place to live.”

  Tucker frowned his way. “You’re looking to buy a country house.”

  Rob shrugged slightly. “Yeah, but only for the weekends. I could never get Ari out of the city. She likes to shop way too much. But I wouldn’t mind having another friend around. I’m the last one of us left in London.”

  “I’m going to let Kim decide,” he admitted. “I’ll go wherever she wants, but she likes to travel and she hasn’t been able to for a couple of years, so I suspect we’ll see everyone from time to time.”

  Jax set his tray down on the table. “You better show at family reunions. We’re going to Wyoming this year.
”

  “I already rented out our only decent hotel,” Tucker admitted. “All six rooms. I’m going to warn you. It used to be a whorehouse, and like way more recently than you would think.”

  Beck laughed. “Kim will love it.”

  Despite her money, his love never complained about something not being five star. She had a never-ending curiosity and thirst for life that made her open to new experiences. He liked to see the world through her eyes because she was so willing to try new things.

  They could show their son the world. This time they would do it right. This time they would be tourists, learning for the love of learning and not because they wanted to know how to take advantage of a situation.

  It felt like he was starting his life all over again.

  But there was one problem.

  “Do we know where Levi is being held?”

  He watched as the men he’d worked with all those years ago went from play to work mode. Every expression went taut.

  “Ian’s on it,” Theo replied. “He’s been trying to get in touch with Drake. He’s a slippery guy. He works with us when he wants to and ignores us when it serves his purposes.”

  “Sounds like every Agency arsehole I’ve ever worked with.” Owen shook his head. “I was wondering if we were going to let it lie.”

  Rob patted his daughter’s back and bounced slightly. He smiled his wife’s way as she walked up. “I don’t think we can. He’s too dangerous.”

  Ariel was dressed in a pretty orange and yellow sundress. She held her hands out and Rob transferred the baby to her. “Are we talking about Levi?”

  Beck glanced around, looking for Kim. She’d been with Ariel earlier.

  A brow rose over Ariel’s eyes as she settled her daughter into her arms. “She’s taking a walk. I saw her down by the lake with some of the kids. Is this something you want to keep from her?”

  “Yes. I’m going to kill Levi,” Beck admitted.

  Ariel’s expression changed to a sunny smile. “Oh, is that all? Of course you are. We can’t allow the bastard to live. He has a terrible habit of popping back up when you least expect him. Carry on, then. Let me know if you need a sniper.”

  She gave him a wink and walked out to the pool where River waited to welcome her.

  “God, I love that woman.” Rob had the goofiest look on his face.

  But then they all understood that look. They were all still madly in love with their wives.

  Theo took one of the shot glasses and held it up. “So one last mission?”

  Owen held up his. “I doubt it will be our last. At some point we all know our kids will get in trouble.”

  Tucker selected his. “Of that I have no doubt. The next generation is already giving us hell.”

  Jax picked up the last two shots, handing one to Beck. “I’ve tried to keep my boys away from the Tag twins, but they’re practically in love. They already like dangerous women. I’m doomed. How about a toast? To making the best of a really bad thing.”

  “To making the most of our second chances,” Theo said.

  Owen lifted his glass. “To forgiveness and acceptance.”

  “To finding family we didn’t even know we’d lost,” Tucker offered.

  Rob put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “To all the brothers who aren’t here. Who we did lose. May we remember them.”

  Emotion welled up hard and fast as Beck raised his glass. “To Sasha.”

  They all drank down the vodka Jax had brought. He’d likely had a choice of many liquors, but they always chose vodka in honor of the Lost Boy who wasn’t here to share it.

  He’d fought and bled with these men. They were part of his family now, and standing here with them he realized he always held himself slightly apart. And he realized why. Because that part of his heart that could truly open up had been halfway around the world.

  “I love you guys.” It was good to say it.

  Owen’s eyes went wide. “Oh, he loves us now, does he? I wonder what caused this amazing turn of events.”

  Jax snorted as he put his shot glass back on the tray. “We all know what did it.”

  “Guys, come on. He’s had a breakthrough.” Rob was always the reasonable one.

  “He had an orgasm.” And Tucker still said too much. Or what everyone else was thinking.

  Beck laughed because these were his brothers. They’d been through something terrible and come out the other side. If there was one thing in the world he’d done right, it was helping these men. “Hey, I can take it. And he’s right. It’s been a long dry spell waiting for that woman to come back to me.”

  The door to the house came open and Sean Taggart was suddenly there. “Hey, Beck. I think we’re going to need you in here.”

  A chill went through him. He glanced back and Roman was being helped out of the pool by Ezra. Jamal Lewis was standing at one end of the pool and Charlotte at the other as all the kids seemed to be getting out.

  Fuck. They were locking down the kids. That could only mean one thing. “Levi escaped, didn’t he?”

  Sean held the door open. “Come inside. Ian has news.”

  “I need to find Kim.” His heart had started to race. If Levi had gotten out or been freed by his friends, he would go straight for Kim. Levi was always going to come after her. No matter what he’d said.

  “I think you should come in here first,” Sean said. “We’ve got some of the bodyguards bringing everyone inside. If she’s not already in the house, she should be here soon.”

  “Come on.” Owen gestured to the door. “Let’s see what’s happening. I might need to call back home and have Rebecca lock down our house.”

  “Dad?” Roman had a towel wrapped around him and his hair was still wet. “Is there something wrong?”

  His son. He wasn’t sure he would ever get used to the emotion that threatened to take over every time he looked down at his son. “I don’t know, kiddo, but I’m going to take care of it, and Uncle Ezra is going to stay with you.”

  Ezra nodded. “Yeah, buddy. Let’s go get you dressed, and I bet we can find some games to play.”

  Roman wasn’t fooled. “Is Mom okay? Is the bad man here?”

  Beck got to one knee. “I’m going to find out. I need to know you’ll stay close to your uncle.” Who was a priest and might not remember how to fight. He looked up and Jamal was a reassuring presence.

  “I’ll watch out for them both, Beck,” Jamal assured him. “You do what you need to do. I’m going to take the kids inside, and we’ll keep them all together.”

  He trusted Jamal and the bodyguards. He was certain Charlotte would stay behind and help guard the kids, too. And she would be surrounded by women who knew how to take care of themselves.

  “Go on,” Rob said. “We’ll make sure everyone gets in all right. Go talk to Tag and we’ll figure out where to go from there.”

  He kissed his son’s forehead and followed Sean Taggart inside.

  “Ian got a message from Drake,” Sean was saying. “Apparently at some point during the night, Levi slipped away. Obviously he had someone on the inside because they didn’t report he was missing until this morning. Drake didn’t find out until an hour ago. However, Adam’s already tracked him using one of his aliases. We believe he was on his way to DFW.”

  It was bad, but they had a couple of things in their favor. “He’ll likely go to my house. I’ll give Adam my password so he can monitor my security system.”

  Sean snorted. “Adam’s already in, man. He doesn’t need a password.”

  Well, he should have expected that. “Levi will think I’m home on a Saturday. If we don’t catch him there, I’ll take my family to a safe house.”

  “I don’t know. According to Ian he’s got an uncanny ability to figure out where you are at all times.” Sean opened the door to the large room they used as an office when they were up here at the lake.

  “Where’s your sister?” Ian was standing in front of four of his kids. They were lined up by s
ize, as though Ian had taught them exactly how to present themselves.

  Kenzie and Kala stood next to Seth, and then Travis at the end. The boys were wrapped in towels while the girls were still in the clothes they’d come here in. Only Tasha was missing.

  Kenzie shrugged. “Don’t know. She didn’t want to watch the movie with us.”

  Kala stayed silent.

  Big Tag stared down at his kids with a look that would have made most hardened soldiers think twice. “Do you honestly believe I don’t know when you’re hiding something from me? What don’t I know? I’m not joking. This is a dangerous situation and your sister could get hurt.”

  Kenzie opened her mouth but shut it again when Kala glanced her way.

  Tag turned his gaze on the boys. They both stared at their fathers.

  Travis shook his head. “Daddy, I don’t know. The girls are mean and me and Seth stay away.”

  “No, you don’t.” Tag’s focus lasered in on Seth Taggart, a lanky ten-year-old with his father’s sandy hair and mom’s smile. Tag stared through his oldest son. “I also know who can handle a month-long grounding from all screens and who can’t.”

  “Tasha’s got a secret phone and we’re not supposed to talk about it, and I overheard her tell Kenzie that she was going to fix everything and save Mom and Dad from Roman’s mom because she’s here to hurt them.” Seth couldn’t talk fast enough.

  Kala rolled her eyes. “We are never telling you anything again.”

  “What do you mean she’s going to fix everything? Why would Tasha think Kim is here to hurt your mom and dad?” Kim had told him she felt like Tag’s eldest daughter had something against her. “Where did they go?”

  Kala’s arms went over her chest.

  But Kenzie had obviously had enough. “She’s been talking to a kid whose dad knows her bio dad. He used to work with him in Russia, and he has proof that Kim is the one who gave her dad over to the same crazy lady who nearly killed Uncle Theo.”

  He couldn’t believe the kids had this drama going on for months and no one had heard about it. “Kim didn’t have anything to do with that.”