“If you want to leave, I will help you get away from me. Every move I make seems to hurt you and I can’t bear to see that look on your face again. No matter how much it hurts me, I have to do what’s best for you. I know you won’t ever forget Halloween; neither will I.”
He shuddered and drew in a shaky breath before continuing, “Walking towards you, I realised what I had done as I looked at your face. Knowing I had destroyed us almost killed me, so I stayed away, trying to give you time until you could look at me again, without feeling as if I had broken your heart. It hasn’t happened yet.” His breathing was uneven as he finished and he squeezed my hand harder, gasping in a breath.
I lay there listening to him, with my eyes closed, but I shifted my head around and peaked through my lashes at him. He was turned away from me and I watched his chest rise and fall harshly and tears glisten in the moonlight. I didn’t say a word, because I didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t know if we could ever go back to where we had been. Halloween had wrecked me, destroyed us and demolished my trust in him. As I thought about what he’d said, he shifted, whispering in my ear, “Look in your book.” With that, he vanished.
I turned around, sadness engulfing me, and picked up my book. Leafing through it, I saw pieces of paper folded between the pages.
Jas, I love you.
Jas, I’m so sorry, please
Baby, just talk to me. Don’t shut me out anymore.
Twenty of them… went on and on, over and over, all saying roughly the same thing.
Baby, I need you. Please talk to me.
Some were just hearts with kisses, while others pleaded for me to forgive him or at least try to speak to him. I didn’t know if I could, if I ever would forgive him for what I had witnessed.
Burying the notes at the bottom of my school bag, I went to sleep with my mind going over and over things he had said and done. Waking up the next morning, I felt sluggish and tired, but went to school and powered my way through the day, not paying close attention to anything until walking home.
Nathan walked up to me and grabbed my arm. I looked into his beautiful green eyes, but said nothing. He turned away, pulling me from the road, where there would be too many witnesses of us talking, into the woods and towards a stone circle. He passed right through the circle, causing my mouth to drop open.
“Jasmine, please. I can’t take this anymore. Please just forgive me? Or talk to me! Scream at me! Tell me you hate me, but don’t, please done ignore me anymore” His eyes filled with tears, and he closed them as his breathing came in gasps. I stood immobile and he dropped to his knees, “please, Jas. Just give me a chance. I know I hurt you and I betrayed you. I fucked up okay. I’m a demon and this is all new to me and I’m trying.”
He ran his hands through his hair and was rocking back and forward as he spoke again, “God, I need you, baby. You make me better and I can’t do this anymore. I can’t stay away from you anymore.” My feet moved me over to him unconsciously as he spoke and I dropped to my knees beside him, having decided that he had one last chance to prove that he loved me. If he screwed this one up, I would leave him and I would never come back.
I placed my lips on his and felt the kiss deepen, intensifying and electrifying us. The air around us seemed to crackle as we kissed until I felt lightheaded. He pulled back, kissing me on the top of my head and breathed into my ear, “I am so sorry for everything that has happened. I will never, ever deserve you, but I promise to spend every single moment of forever making it up to you.”
“Nate, if you touch her again, look at her again, we are done and I am leaving… I cannot live through that again, no matter the consequences. We cannot survive it.”
“Okay,” he answered in a small voice, “it was only because I was on a demon high that it happened. I will never ever touch her again. I promise on my life.”
The next few weeks passed and all too soon, it was Christmas. A major snowfall allowed me to sleep in the house again as the stables were freezing cold. This all changed on Christmas Day. Waking up on Christmas morning, I had no presents and not one member of the family spoke to me, as I served them breakfast and coffee. I walked around feeling invisible as they laughed, exchanged gifts, and enjoyed Christmas morning.
I spent the morning in the kitchen where one family member or another assigned me tasks to complete — clean the silverware, tidy the dining room, do the dishes, and stock the fire, but don’t light it.
I hadn’t seen Nathan all morning and by lunchtime, I was exhausted. I went into my bedroom and closed the door, feeling the tears come as I remembered last Christmas. Being awakened by Jack, eating cookies and cream with Anna, and laughing at the silly Christmas jumpers we all wore. I stood, walking over to my wardrobe, and dug out my jumper from last year. It was a snowman and a penguin; the snowman had a carrot nose that stuck out, and the penguin had a Christmas tree hat with bobbles on it. The jumper was bright red and I held it tightly, smiling at the memories.
The door slowly opened and I turned around, ready to face whoever was at the door. Nathan walked towards me and pulled me into his arms. “Come downstairs please.”
He walked away, saying nothing else, and I swallowed with difficulty, thinking about how cold he was being.
He turned back, whispering, “They are watching you. Come on please.”
I nodded, threw the jumper back in the wardrobe, and followed him downstairs, walking into the dining room just a few steps behind him.
“Nathan, we are going now. Make sure the dining room is set up. She will help you,” Mr Stevenson said, ignoring me completely as he barged past me, pushing me into the handle of the door. I yelped in pain.
No one paid the slightest bit of notice and Nathan glared at me as he passed by me with his sister. As they left, I felt like screaming, but kept it inside. As soon as their car was gone, Nathan flew into the house, grabbed my hand, and pulled me out the back door.
“Hurry, we don’t have long and I have a surprise.” He pulled me through the woods, leading me to the cave and as soon as we arrived, he made me stand outside, covering my eyes as he ran inside. After a few moments, as the wind bit into my exposed skin, Nathan pulled me into the cave and into his arms.
“I’m sorry. We were supposed to come here before dawn, but since you were moved into the house, my plans were scuppered.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, “Open your eyes, baby.”
I obeyed and looked around at the scene. The cave was decked out in candles all lit and in the middle was a gift, wrapped in gold, with a bow on top.
I walked over in a daze, picked up the gift, and opened it to reveal a small intricate angel wing, with an inscription written along the inner wing. Contego. I fingered the fine writing on the white background.
“Contego means protection in Latin and the angel wing should protect you from all evil. I charmed it so it would be a protection charm for you.” Watching him speak, he seemed nervous. “If you don’t like it, we can swap it for something else, but I just thought it was fitting.”
I smiled up at him with tears filling my eyes, “It is perfect. Thank you.”
“That’s not all. Look again in the box…” Doing as he said, I noticed a small heart in the box with the words, Versus Amor, inscribed on the white background. “It means true love.”
I beamed up at him, he placed both pendants on my bracelet and kissed my wrist. His eyes took on a look of hunger that reminded me of Halloween and made me shudder, breaking the moment.
“We have to get back.”
He leaned down, kissed me gently, and then waved his hands to blow all the candles out. We ran through the woods and just finished setting up the dining room as his family arrived home. We didn’t speak for the remainder of the day; I hadn’t realised then that we wouldn’t speak again for some time.
The dinner was eventful as Nick punched me repeatedly for spilling some soup on him. He was over me, and I could see Nate wincing with every blow, but he couldn’t d
o anything. After a few moments, Nick dragged me into the kitchen and threw me in the pantry, locking the door. It wasn’t opened again until the next morning where I was led up to what had been my room.
No one had spoken to me at all since the dinner in December, not even at dinnertime. I went back to sleeping in the barn. Even Nate had stopped speaking to me, in any way, and I had no idea why. Usually, he was in my head all the time talking nonsense at me. Weeks had passed and I internally debated whether to say something, anything to get a reaction, but I wasn’t sure he would answer.
I realised after a few minutes that I was walking along without keeping pace with Nate and Jenny, but they were only two steps ahead. While I debated whether to walk faster, a sudden movement flashed up in my peripheral vision. The next thing I knew I was flying through the air and I banged my head on the concrete pavement so hard I heard a sickening crunch.
I looked up to see what hit me, but all I saw was Nate glaring down at me with such disgust and loathing. His hand was still drawn into a fist. I was not feeling any pain at all, just stun and bewilderment as to why he did this. My thoughts were interrupted by a throbbing in my head.
I could only watch as Jenny walked over to Nate, put her hand on his shoulder to restrain him. “Come on. Let’s leave it and go home.”
She looked at me like a piece of dirt and walked him away with her hand on his arm. Okay, it’s time to get up. Come on, get up now.
I was already soaking wet and the rain was getting heavier, but when I tried to get up, my head spun and my knees gave out. Spitting out some blood, I checked with my tongue that none of my teeth had broken and sighed in relief when I discovered none had. I tried again, more slowly, to get up, rolling over onto my knees, and gingerly felt at the tender spot at the back of my head.
Bringing my hand around I could see it was covered in blood and I felt woozy looking at it. The more I tried to focus, the more my vision swam. I knew if I didn’t get back soon, there would be worse to come. I started walking but could barely see; my eyes kept blurring and my head felt like it weighed a ton.
Pushing my feet one in front of the other even though each step caused a clanging sensation in my head, I managed all of five steps before I crumpled under a big tree. The tree covered me from most of the downpour and I fell unconscious before my head hit the ground again.
I was aware just before slipping under that I could feel more pain, which Nate promised, would never happen, and just before the haze of pain and discomfort took me, I wondered if this meant he had gone back on every promise he’d ever made me. I wondered dully why this wasn’t upsetting me more, before I finally slipped under.
Now I was somewhere, but felt very unsure of where this was. As I looked around me, it was a familiar place, but I wasn’t immediately sure why. I looked down at my hands and saw stuffed toys, a pink bunny and a green bear, but this made no sense to me at all. I was almost eighteen and I was now trying to remember them, but couldn’t. Then I looked up, my heart rolled over, as my parents looked at me, with faces filled with such love. I could remember their faces as though it was yesterday and this memory made me feel safe and loved again, but the logical part of me shouted that this was not true anymore.
“Jasmine,” my dad called, “we have to go. Come on. Let’s get in the car. We are going to Nana and Granddad’s today.” He lifted me in the car and ruffled my hair before putting on my seatbelt. I just looked at him and Mum, trying to rememorize their faces.
I looked at my mum, with her tummy swollen. I remembered in that moment that my mum was pregnant just before the accident. A woozy feeling started in my head and I closed my eyes, trying not to remember the pain I had lived through. My dad shook me awake again. I could hear his voice saying, “Wake up, sleepy head. Come on. Wake up, angel.”
My throat burned and I swallowed against the lump in my throat. I had forgotten my dad’s silly nicknames for me. I didn’t open my eyes, so my dad unbuckled me and carried me into the house…
Waking up to reality again, it took me a while to place where I was. How did I land myself in a hospital room, not five years old? Why was I in here? I couldn’t quite remember and looking down at my body, all I could see was bruising. As I tried to lift my head, I felt so heavy. I drifted off again, dreaming of my parents.
As the morning light broke, the smells of the hospital became more prevalent — antiseptic, bleach, and sickness. As I tried to move my head, the pain caused a sick rolling feeling in my stomach. I jumped as a gentle hand touched my shoulder.
“Don’t try to move; you fractured your skull.”
Opening my mouth and swallowing convulsively, I tried to keep the bile rising from my stomach and spilling over. I looked up at his wide green eyes, looking at me in concern when the memories cascaded through my head, Nathan standing over me with his fist raised, the look on his face as he stood over me, and the hateful expression behind his eyes. The images battered like a sledgehammer and my stomach rolled again.
“Let me explain please…” he pleaded.
“No, just leave me alone.” My voice sounded hoarse from lack of use and I closed my eyes, trying to rid the memories of him standing over me.
He stood, scraping the chair on the floor, and he leaned over me, to kiss my head and place something cold and small into my hands.
“I am so sorry, baby.”
As the door closed behind him, I lifted my hands up to my eyes to examine what he had given me — a small pair of open hands, touching with the word Memoria inscribed on it. I placed it onto my bracelet, touching the charms and smiling at the memories before drifting off to sleep again.
Drifting back to my parents, memories of my past crept up on me, making me smile. I saw my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents through my five-year-old eyes, playing with my family and sitting on my dad’s knee. Awakening later in a cold, dark hospital room, a nurse peeked her head in.
“Oh, Jasmine, you’re awake. The Stevenson’s will be so glad. They have been so worried about you. The police have a few questions for you when you feel up to it. I’m sure Nathan will fill you in on everything that you have missed these last few days, but you look tired, dear. Try to rest. I’m sure when you awaken in the morning, you’ll feel better.”
Smiling and nodding at her, I hoped she’d leave and take Nathan with her. I really didn’t want to play more mind games. His gentle squeeze of my hand made me shudder. As the door to the room shut, he spoke, sounding more than hurt. I tried to block out his words, trying to fall deeper asleep. I felt more hurt and betrayed by Nathan than I had ever felt in my whole life.
“I’m so, so sorry. I know you hate me right now and I don’t blame you. I love you. Sleep well, angel, and know that I’ll be here when you awake…”
Part of me knew that my injuries were Nathan’s doing and as angry as I was with him, I felt grateful; even though it hurt so much going back there and seeing my parents.
As tears ran down my cheeks, his soft fingers wiped at my tears and his lips gently touched my cheeks. Butterflies rose in my stomach and nausea rose at my reaction to his touch. He had put me in here, but my body still reacted to his and I wanted to hate him but I didn’t. I was so confused as my thoughts swung on a pendulum and I groaned softly as I tried moving my head.
I opened my eyes searching about for Nathan. As my eyes found his, sitting in a darkened corner, he watched me but I couldn’t make out his expression.
“How long I was out this time?” I asked him, trying to see through the darkness as he answered me with a catch in his voice.
“Two days, babe!”
My head throbbed as I tried to sit up, which reminded me what he did to me and why I was here. I opened my mouth to say something, but when I turned my head to look at him, he was reading a book. I closed my eyes, but the sound of the door opening almost forced them open again. Footsteps soon sounded in the room and a voice asked Nate, “Has it awakened yet?”
He rustled the pages of his book befo
re he answered, “Not really. It awoke crying a few days ago when I was here, and she was awake a few minutes ago, but she’s out of it again.”
I realised it was his dad, just by the evil aura and the way he walked, and my whole body stiffened in response. I tried to relax, but my heart jumped into my head. I felt him leaning over me and was so terrified that I almost started shaking, but for some reason it didn’t happen. I realised that Nate’s charm prevented me from shaking and kept my eyes closed.
Mr Stevenson walked over to Nate and said, “Come on. It’s time to go home. We can come back tomorrow. I expect her to be awake then.”
The nurses came in just as they were leaving and I realised that I wouldn’t ever be left alone — the nurse was a demon. I could smell it from her, the cloying scent of blood and the fetid aroma of darkness. Before I could open my eyes, pain drugs hit my system and I fell into a deep sleep.
Waking up well after midnight, I opened my eyes and saw Nate leaning against the door of the bathroom. I looked to the left side of me and the nurse who was in earlier sat in my bedside chair, reading. Her beeper went off, breaking the sleepy silence like thunder.
Watching Nate, I could tell he was desperate for her to leave. His foot tapped on the floor and as soon as she was out the door, he was by my side, kissing my head. Looking at him, he seemed unsubstantial, like a shadow, but much darker. Trying to clear my throat to ask him why he was here, he shook his head and I watched as he disappeared. The demon nurse came back into the room a second after Nathan vanished and I couldn’t shake the suspicion she was looking for him as she switched on the light and walked into the bathroom.
Deciding then to go back to sleep was easier than lying with the demon nurse watching my every move. I closed my eyes and I felt myself being shaken awake almost instantly. “Wake up, sleepy head.” my dad’s voice said over me. It was still dark with the moon high in the sky. “We need to go meet Nana and Granddad at the hospital. Mummies in labour and your little brother and sister are about to arrive.”
Ignition (Escaping Demons Saga Book 2) Page 11