Life on the Porcelain Edge

by C. E. Hilbert

“Where’ve you been? I mean after the scandal it must have been just awful to show your face around town, but surely you know your friends wanted to support you.” Bobbi Ann stepped out of the air hug.

  “My father had a heart attack. I went home to Ohio to help him. I’m planning on returning as soon as he’s better.”

  “Oh, joyful day!” She sipped her cocktail through a teeny red straw. Oversized, violet hued eyes dominated her face. “Then the rumors I heard about you and E&E splitting aren’t true. Wonderful to hear. You know I just deplore gossip. I couldn’t bear to ask Cheryl whether you were still on staff.”

  Quick beads of perspiration bubbled along Tessa’s forehead. Heat flashed up her neck. Using her clutch as a fan she scanned the room for an escape and saw Ryland break through the crowd balancing two tall glasses filled to their brims. “Oh, here’s Ryland.” She stepped forward and laced her arm through the crook of his elbow. “Bobbi Ann, this is my friend, Ryland Jessup.” Her heart slowed to a steady pace.

  “The football player?” Bobbi Ann asked.

  “Retired.” He handed Tessa her glass and clasped Bobbi Ann’s outstretched hand.

  “Didn’t you play with Everett Tanner, the quarterback?”

  Tessa felt Ryland stiffen. “When did you become such a football aficionado?” she asked Bobbi Ann.

  “Oh, I’m not. Not really. I’m acquaintances with Everett Tanner’s wife. I mean we know each other from this board and that…nothing more.” She waved her hands dismissing the thought. “I just find it so intriguing. Little T-squared snagged herself a bona fide stud-muffin.” Bobbi Ann said as she dragged a hand down Ryland’s chest.

  “Umm, excuse me?” He turned to Tessa.

  “Bobbi Ann I’d appreciate it if you’d keep your hands to yourself.” Tessa lifted Bobbi Ann’s rhinestone encrusted fingers from his chest. “Where’s Billy?”

  Lifting her cocktail, she slurped her drink for several seconds. “Billy? Oh, he’s around somewhere. You know how he loves a good party. Don’t you?”

  “Bobbi Ann,” Tessa started. Her voice dropped a few octaves. “You know Billy and I’ve only ever been friends. He pinned you sophomore year. He’s been head over for you since the first moment he saw you.”

  “Pfft.” She pivoted, leaving Tessa and Ryland alone.

  Tessa unlinked her arm from Ryland’s and repositioned against the window. She shut her eyes against the tears threatening to spill. Why tonight?

  “Do I even want to know what that was?” Ryland leaned against the brick wall.

  “It’s not exciting. Bobbi Ann and I are sorority sisters. Same pledge class. She’s hated me since sophomore year when I tutored her boyfriend—now husband—in an Old English lit class. Billy made some comment about me to Bobbi Ann and no matter how much I protested, she was convinced I was in love with Billy.”

  “Were you?” There was a slight crack in Ryland’s deep resonate tone.

  “No. Billy’s a wonderful person. A good friend. But I’ve never thought of him as anything other than Bobbi Ann’s. Period.”

  “That’s sad.”

  “I know.” Tessa sipped her water. After a few seconds she tilted her head to Ryland. “Wait. What’s sad?”

  “It’s sad she’s not confident in the love she shares with her husband. That’s a horrible way to live.” A shadow settled over his gray eyes shifting them to the color of a summer storm.

  “But she’s holding some unnecessary grudge against me. I’m lucky she didn’t convince her dad to forfeit my deal on the apartment when we graduated.”

  “What deal?”

  “Bobbi Ann’s dad’s a big time developer. He was trying to get a few new warehouses he converted to apartments and lofts rented out. They weren’t moving as quickly as he liked, so he offered every one of Bobbi Ann’s sorority sisters rent for a quarter of the price to help make the buildings seem attractive. Lily Mae lives in a building three blocks from mine, and Ella lives in the same building as Bobbi Ann off of Decatur Street, when she’s not on assignment.”

  “I was thinking I made the wrong life choices when I saw that slick place today.”

  She chuckled. “Don’t get me wrong. I do OK, but I couldn’t afford my loft without the Delta Alpha Psi discount. And now, because of the unfortunate scandal, E&E doesn’t want me back. My discount is good but not that good. I’ll probably have to give up my place. At least Bobbi Ann will be happy. I’ll leave New Orleans and she won’t have me threatening her marriage or her career.”

  “What do you mean? Threatening her career.”

  “Bobbi Ann was trying to get on with E&E for the last four years, but every pitch she made was turned down. I heard she was picked up this past fall for a top secret project. My job at E&E was just another reason for her to hate me.”

  “Huh…”

  “What?”

  “It’s just weird that…”

  Clink. Clink. Clink.

  “Toast time, people!” Lily Mae shouted from her perch atop a wooden bench. “As you all know this wonderful man beside me will be gaining an equally wonderful wife tomorrow at St. Louis—y’all are invited, of course—except maybe you Bubba Ray. That shirt has to go. Now, about my nuptials.” Lily continued, her speech spiraling down a black hole.

  “I need to rescue her from herself.” Tessa whispered. “Her mouth tends to be bigger than Lake Pontchartrain when she’s the center of attention.” She glided toward the bench, nearly colliding with Ella.

  “What shall we do?” Ella whispered.

  Tessa gave her a wink. “I’ll take care of it.” She sucked in a deep breath and began to sing, “Where stately oaks and broad magnolias shade…” Before she made it through the first verse, nearly the entire room—including wait staff—began singing the LSU alma mater. Arms slung around strangers shoulders, a collective sway began.

  As the song came to a close, Tessa hollered, “Let us raise our glasses to our two favorite Tigers, Lily Mae and Beau. Blessings for a beautiful wedding and an amazing marriage. A votre sante! Cheers, everybody.” She downed her water, lifting her gaze to check Lily’s wrath, but her friend was melting into a deep kiss with her soon to be husband.

  Ella smiled. “Crisis averted.”

  “There’s always tomorrow.”

  Several more toasts went around the room, including Beau’s to his groomsmen and his parents, before the microphone was given back to Lily Mae.

  “Oh, dear…” Ella muttered, her grip on Tessa’s hand rivaling the best pliers on the planet.

  “Thank y’all for sharing this special day with Beau and me. We were super blessed to meet the first week of freshman year, but I was equally blessed to meet two of my best girlfriends who became my sisters of the heart. Ella and Tessa.” A soft applause rippled through the room. “I’d have been lost at school without all of my sorority sisters—Bobbi Ann and Talia included—but Ella and Tessa made my college years and every day since graduation an experience. Life isn’t life when we don’t have people to share it. Along with Beau, you two are my favorite sharers. To Ella and Tessa.”

  “Ella and Tessa.”

  Tessa swiped the warm wet streak on her cheek. Lifting her arm around Ella’s shoulders, she hugged her quivering body to her side. “What are you going to be like tomorrow, Miss Romance?”

  “A blubbering idiot,” she said with a snort.

  Tessa smacked a kiss to her forehead. “I should go find Ryland. I’ve left him to the wiles of the single ladies long enough.”

  “Tess, wait a sec.”

  She looked into the upturned angelic face of her friend. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Don’t waste it.”

  “Waste what?”

  “It. I’ve watched you tonight. Something near magical exists between you and Ryland.” She laid a petite hand to Tessa’s cheek. “Don’t waste the opportunity to have love because you are chasing a dream God placed in your past.” Without another word, Ella left Tessa standing in the middle of a bustling dinner.
r />   The thumping of her heart deafened her to the conversations and laughter.

  Ella was right.

  This afternoon at her apartment, every tentative feeling she had for Ryland expanded to the size of a Thanksgiving Day balloon. Glancing around the room, she caught sight of him in the same spot where she’d left him, but now he was cornered by no less than three knock-out blondes—one of whom was Bobbi Ann Risdy-Jones.

  Tessa stalked across the room. Nope, not happening tonight.

  25

  “Are you sure Lily Mae won’t be mad we didn’t stay for dinner?” Ryland asked.

  “Lil’s twenty-seven shades away from caring whether anyone but her is at the party about now.” Tessa hailed a cab and gave the driver her address. “Do you mind riding back with me to the loft? I know you’ve an early flight, but I’d like to chat a little.”

  He shrugged, shifting his focus to the rolling changes of the Crescent City at night. He couldn’t put a pulse to Tessa’s tangent personalities. In one day she’d switched from yeller to hostess to soothsayer party saver to a friend. Ever since he’d busted through the door this morning and heard her soft voice, he’d been valiantly trying to suppress his feelings. Now she was asking him back to her apartment to talk? Nothing good could come from this conversation.

  His buzzing phone interrupted spiraling thoughts. Glancing at the screen he was surprised to see JT’s name scrawl across. He answered. “What’s up?” He chose not to wade through pleasantries.

  “Joe has a huge-o favor to ask.” His words were slightly slurred. The sound panicked Ryland.

  “JT, what’s wrong.”

  “Awe man, nothin’s wrong. Jus’ need a favor.”

  “What do you need?”

  “You still in N’leans?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do ya think you can go to May Belle’s wedding with T.T.?”

  “Lily Mae’s. Where will you be?”

  “Ummm…I’ve to go to Ft. Myers earlier than I thought. Miscalculated the days. No big. Just wanted to give Tessa a stand-up stand-in. Ha. Get it. Stand-up. Stand-in.”

  Ryland didn’t respond. He knew this JT. This was the ugliest version. He rarely came out, but when he did nothing but a blackout or a brick wall could stop him.

  “Rys, you still there?”

  “Yes.”

  “So will you? I mean I need an answer, man. I don’t want to disappoint T.T.”

  “Sure.”

  “Aww, thanks, man. You’re the best. I’ll pay for any extra costs. Hotel, whatever.”

  “Not a problem. I need to call Emma. Tell her I’ll be late getting home.”

  “Sure. Sure. Do you mind telling Tessa? I can text her but I’m getting ready to go into a team meeting. Not sure how late I’ll be.”

  Ryland glanced at his watch. East Coast time was later than any team meeting.

  “JT…”

  “Yeah, Rys, what’s up?”

  “Be careful. Don’t do anything stupid.”

  “What could happen in a team meeting?”

  “Don’t lie to me, Joe. You and I both know you aren’t in Florida and you aren’t going to a team meeting. You need help. Help I can’t give you over the phone. Help I’m sure you won’t find in the backroom of any club you’re going to with one of your ‘friends’.”

  “OK, Granny. Just tell Tessa I’ll call her next week.”

  The phone went dead.

  Anger poured through Ryland. With a single punch to the back of the empty passenger seat, the car rattled like a tin can.

  “Hey, buddy. You break it. You buy it,” The cabdriver said.

  “Sorry.”

  Tessa slid her hand over his knee. “Ryland?”

  He shoved his hand through his crop of hair. “Joe’s not going to make the wedding tomorrow. Gave me some lame excuse about reporting to Spring Training early. He sounded as high as a kite.”

  “What?”

  He shifted in his seat.

  Terror blanketed her face.

  He couldn’t give a pat cover-my-best-friend’s-six answer. Not to Tessa. “Can we talk about it at your loft?”

  She nodded. Sliding her hand off his knee, she laced her arms tightly across her middle, caving her shoulders toward her knees.

  “Everything will be OK. I promise.” He hoped he wasn’t lying.

  ~*~

  After a brief conversation when they’d arrived, Tessa had slipped into her bedroom to change clothes, giving Ryland space to set the plays in motion addressing the immediate problems. Just like game day: read and react. Only one difference. He never thought he’d be riding point on his best friend’s intervention.

  Now, two hours later, he had arranged for his flight to be changed to Sunday, talked to Emma—who thought he was on a grand adventure with Miss Tessa—extended his stay at his hotel, requested an early morning appointment for a suit to be tailored, and talked to Joe’s brothers. Not bad for one hundred and twenty minutes.

  Finished with his conference call with Sean and Mac, Ryland rested his forehead on his folded arms. Lord, please help my friend. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s running from the difficulties of life and only making them worse. Please Lord, keep him safe.

  “How’re Sean and Mac?” Tessa set a cup of crisp mint tea on the ottoman in front of him.

  The bright aroma seeped through his tired frame, soothing some of the bumps of the last few hours.

  “Unfortunately, they aren’t surprised. JT had a flirtation with drugs and excessive drinking during his brief stint in college, but all of us thought he’d kicked it. The injury last spring forced him to take pain killers and led him down a familiar path. I understand. As an athlete you’ll do anything to get better. If someone tells you one shot will make your knees not hurt or suck the pain from your shoulder so you’re able to throw a ball, you’ll take it—no questions—but drugs for any other reason make zero sense. An athlete’s body is his trade. How you get to play a game meant for kids every Sunday afternoon for money. We all know we’re living on borrowed time fulfilling the fantasy of every ten-year-old. Why do anything to risk living the dream?”

  “Are you sure of what you heard? He’s seemed out of sorts the past few weeks—not his old self—but I can’t imagine Joey taking drugs for recreation.”

  “I don’t believe it’s for fun. I think Joe’s running away from more demons than you or I could ever imagine.”

  “But his life is so…perfect.”

  “No one’s life is perfect. Not even Joe Taylor.”

  “Don’t feel like you need to stay. If you want to go home please, don’t worry about Lily’s wedding. Taking care of Joey is more important than holding my handbag while I have pictures taken tomorrow.”

  With a slight stretch he clasped her hand. “I can’t think of anyone’s purse I’d rather stand around and hold. I’m just sorry that Joe won’t be the one to be there for you.”

  “About that…” She pulled her hand from his and wrapped her arms around her drawn legs. “I was going to tell Joe in the morning I wanted us just to be friends. I’ve been chasing an unrequited teenage crush. Trying to fulfill a shy sixteen year-old’s fantasy. And I’m not sixteen anymore.”

  Ryland’s heart grew three sizes bigger and beat with the pace of a rabbit. Thoughts swirled through his mind, but he couldn’t allow himself to get distracted by the potential of Tessa. She was leavimg Gibson’s Run. Her life was in New Orleans. He was sitting in the ultra-cool evidence. Focusing on finding JT tomorrow would be paramount. His friend needed him. His rabbit heart would have to wait.

  ~*~

  Tessa’s heart thumped in her ears, snuffing out the music of the city wafting through her windows. Squeezing her legs tight to her chest, silence hung between them. Only the sound of Ryland’s deep breaths filled the space.

  Why wasn’t he saying anything? Had Lily and his sisters been wrong about Ryland’s feelings? Had the kiss they’d shared weeks ago faded from his memory as quickly as yeste
rday’s headline? Was she now the holder of the unrequited love stick?

  The flex in his jaw moved at a steady rhythm as he stared into the foggy night, his expression as revealing as the eerie sky.

  The teensy brave part of her wanted to lean into his side and whisper the words she’d been trying to ignore for weeks. The ones that motivated their early exit from tonight’s party. But brave Tessa Tarrington wasn’t. She was a piddler. Playing it safe was how she stayed dry. Sharing her true feelings about Joey was as far as her shaking legs would take her. She needed Ryland to do the heavy work. If he was willing.

  Ryland wiped his hands against his pant legs and slowly stood, the creaks from his football aged body bounced against the brick walls. Glancing down at her, his lips lifted and his dimple deepened. “It’s been a long day. I’ll leave you to those much needed hours of shut-eye.” The heels of his shoes clicked against the concrete floor.

  Tessa’s heart screamed for her mouth to open and ask him to stay. To listen. To talk. But her mind overrode her heart. Asking Ryland to stay. To take a chance on whatever was growing between them was risky. She didn’t do risk. Risk equaled hurt. She’d endured enough hurt at the hands of others to ever willingly leap off the edge. “Good night Ryland.”

  Stepping across the wide threshold, he glanced over his shoulder and nodded. With a flick of his wrist, the heavy steel door slid closed.

  Falling back onto the couch, she snatched a throw pillow, pulled it to her face and screamed into its muffling down. “Stupid toilet bowl life…”

  26

  “A little to the left. You. Yellow hair. Tall girl. You move to the left.” The photographer shouted.

  Never in her life had Tessa been referred to as the tall girl, but she obediently scooted a half step closer to Lily Mae’s cousin, Paley, another five foot brunette beauty. After hours of hair teasing, shellacking, and painting of faces, each of the six bridesmaids was wrapped in a blue silk confection masquerading as a dress. The February morning was unseasonably warm and the humidity synonymous with New Orleans wrapped the group three hours into photos—transforming Tessa into the cotton candy she resembled—fluffy and sticky.