Written By Fate

by K Larsen

  Now that things in my brain are falling into place I’m stuck dealing with the guilt of all my actions over the last decade. Jesus, the guilt. It’s a slow process but I’m getting there. Allie and I are good. We have a dinner date once a week now, her choice of restaurants where we just laugh and have fun and talk. Our evenings and nights are quiet. We always do dinner together and watch a smidge of TV before she’s off to bed. I’ve become a crazy reader. I devour almost a book a night now. I enjoy it so much. It’s something outside of my child and my work that I love doing. I’ve poured myself into the chorus at school and back into my clients at work. Both things I’m passionate about and make me smile at the end of the day. I’ve also started running again. It’s been almost as therapeutic as therapy. I try to get out every morning after Allie goes to school and before I’m due in to work. One fabulous side effect is my body looks amazing. I didn’t really have weight to lose but I did lose some and I’ve toned up everywhere. Amanda and Margaret finally came to see me. I’ve never asked them down before and they’ve never met Allie. We had the most amazing and cathartic girls’ weekend ever and now everything’s out in the open. They help keep me sane and make me laugh most days. And Allie was enamored with them almost instantly. They are like long lost aunts to her and it was amazing to see them all interact.

  Marg: BITCH!

  What?

  Marg: Oh good, you know your name!

  Hahaha thanks.

  Marg: Love ya honey

  Ditto bitch

  Marg: ;)

  Without them, the last five months would have broken me. I’m sure of it.

  Dear Dom,

  There have been too many casualties. Everyone's better off without me these days. I'm doing the best I can to hold on. I miss your arms. I miss your face. I miss your smell. I miss you. Please know that I’m changing. I’m alone and will not date any time in the near future, and that includes Sawyer. We’re over. He won’t even accept a friendship with me. I hope you’re doing well. I hope you’re smiling. I hope you can forgive me someday. I really do hate that you hate me. My therapist told me to write down all my feelings, but I’m crap at that. I fell in love with you, even though I shouldn't have. I want you to know that. I want you to know that I did love you. I do love you. I...

  Clara

  I send a letter to Dominic once a month. I just need him to know that I think about him. That I want him and that I’m trying to do right by everyone. I haven't received a single goddamned response to the last five letters. I’m not going to lie: it hurts. It cuts deep, but I’m not going to give up. I walk to the end of the driveway, put letter number six in the mailbox, and raise the red flag. I let out a deep breath and try to calm my nerves. Every letter I send makes me anxious. I want him to read them, to write back. Something. Anything. But once the letter is picked up I have no way of knowing any of that. Maybe he doesn't even get them. Maybe he refuses to read them and tosses them in the trash. Who knows? The hole where my heart used to be is still a gaping wound but I’ve gotten better at living with it.

  “Mom!”

  “Allie!” I shout enthusiastically back at her.

  “Carmen’s sick! We don’t have anyone to sing the solo tonight!” she freaks out on me.

  “Allie, you can sing it or what about Nina?” I offer encouragingly.

  “No...Nina doesn’t know that part. I don’t want to do it,” she says glumly.

  “Why not? You have a gorgeous voice!”

  “Mooom. I just...”

  “Allie. You can do it. Is there anyone else who can replace Carmen besides you?”

  “Not really.”

  “All right then. Let’s get you warmed up and practiced before we head back to the school.”

  Allie and I prepare for her solo in MGMT’s “Kids” song and end up having a really good moment together. I enjoy her so much. I’m thankful for the one-on-one time that we have so much of now. At six, Allie steps down from the risers, ready for her part. She kills it and I couldn’t be more proud of her! We follow with “Paparazzi,” “The Climb,” and “Just Dance.” The parents go wild with a standing ovation for the talented little rugrats in front of them. The kids rush me and tackle me in a hug as they knock me down to the ground. I can’t stop the giggle that bubbles up and out of me. One by one the kids back off and get back on the risers.

  “Hey! You’re done! Go find your parents!” I call above the cheering. Allie shakes her head at me and smiles. The piano starts playing and I whip my head around to see who’s playing it.

  Dominic Napoli is beaming a wide, warm smile at me as he plays. The kids start singing “True Colors” and my eyes start watering. I turn back to the kids as tears drip down my face. They sound amazing and they’re singing for me. I’m flabbergasted. Did Dom do this? Did he talk to the kids? Is this song from him to me? Questions swirl around my head as I listen to their little voices sing so sweetly to me. The last piano note sounds and although I’m not one to show weakness I drop to my knees. They just can't support me anymore and I sob. Two strong arms pick me up and set me to my feet.

  “It shouldn't bother me, but it does. I shouldn't care about you, but I do. I should hate you, but I don't. I’m in love with you, Clara,” his voice rumbles and makes me tremble. Did I just hear him right? I stare up into his black eyes and blink once. He grins at me. “Yes, you heard,” he answers as if he can read my thoughts. I leap into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist and squeezing him insanely tightly to me. The kids go nuts and soon the parents join in as well. I peel my face from Dom’s neck and take his cheeks between my hands as I look him over. His face is warm and soft and I can’t stop myself from pulling his lips to meet mine. I kiss him, in front of everyone, as if my life depended on it. As if we were never going to see each other again and I needed him to know just how much I loved him. He kisses me back just as passionately before pulling me off him and setting me to my feet. “Clara,” he says on a breath.

  “Yeah?” I answer breathily.

  “Will you go out with me?” he keeps a straight face while he says it but I can’t control the laughter that rips from me.

  “What?” he says. “We are in an elementary school.” His deep laugh rumbles through me. I pull him into a hug, relishing the way his arms feel wrapped tightly around me. Leaning back, I look up to his handsome face. “Yes,” I breathe. “Of course I will.”

  Aftermath

  Dominic and I weren't just all rosy and happily ever after. We had a lot of shit to work through, mostly my absurd baggage. He was still hesitant and kept his guard up for the first month that we dated. And let me tell you, dating only was damn hard! We saw each other maybe twice a week and actually went out for proper dates.

  I couldn't even remember the last time I’d been on a date with a man. A real date. Where they pick you up, open doors for you, take you somewhere to just talk and flirt and then drop you at home with a chaste kiss goodnight. It’s been interesting, that’s for sure. In some ways it’s really nice getting to know each other this way and in others, it’s the most frustrating thing in the world. I know what he feels like, how his touch drives me wild, and I want that back. The heat in his eyes some nights is almost too much for me to handle but he’s stuck to his guns and hasn't done any more than kiss me.

  “Clara, wake up.”

  “Mmmm. I told you, I’m only a morning person on December twenty-fifth,” I grumble and pull the blankets over my head further. The blankets lift slightly and Dom burrows under. When his lips find my hip, fire ignites and my body practically hums with need. A smile creeps over my face as I let him wake me up in this delightful way.

  A year ago, if you had asked me if I would be living at the lake house with Allie and Dom, I would have told you you’d lost your mind. Yet, here we are, going strong. Dating slowly turned into trusting which slowly turned into a real, live, honest-to-God relationship. We’ve had bumps in the road but mostly we’re able to talk through everything and mostly those bumps are st
ill my hang-ups. Dom has time and time again proven to me that he is everything I want, everything I deserve, and that I’m everything to him. He’s amazing. The heat...oh the heat hasn't fizzled out at all; if anything, it’s amplified. Who knew actually trusting someone with your heart could make hot sex even hotter?! I’ve definitely been missing out over the years. “Don’t stop, babe,” I moan, “I’m almost there.”

  His lips pull away and his head pops out from under the covers. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he grins. The laugh that bubbles up and out from my belly is loud and boisterous as I push his head back down to the place I want it most.

  Per Dom’s request when we moved into his lake house full time, we had a housewarming party. Marg, Amanda, and even Sawyer came. It was the party of all parties. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Dom laugh so hard or be so relaxed in front of so many people, but he definitely won everyone over. Sawyer pulled me aside and we had a heartfelt moment together where he finally forgave me and let me know he was happy for me. The relief I felt at his words was indescribable. I was still carrying so much guilt over our relationship and fallout that his words truly set me free. After our chat he’d dragged me over to his date and introduced me. There was a pang of jealousy that initially shot through me but she was a lovely girl and I really hope they work out. I want, no, I need Sawyer to be happy.

  I still drive into the shop three days a week to take clients by appointment only, which makes me happy, but now I also get to be home with Allie and Dom the other two days of the week. It’s a luxury I never truly thought I’d have. Dominic Napoli cut his office days down to three a week. Something that, well, blew my mind. We have game nights and family dinners--things I just thought I couldn't have so didn't look for in life. I’m even less crass than I was, which is a total feat in itself and something that makes Dom laugh every now and again. It’s hard to be so crass when you wake up grateful every morning.

  Of course I’m still seeing my therapist--you don’t get rid of a lifetime of baggage with any sort of speed but I’m leaps and bounds ahead of where I was just a year or two ago. But possibly the craziest thing that’s happened took place just last night.

  “How’s my girl today?” Dom asked when he breezed through the door, looking extra dashing.

  “Fantastic. How 'bout you?” I’d replied, smiling at him.

  “My day was good but it’s about to be better,” he smirked at me devilishly.

  “Oh?” I’d asked as he prowled over to me. My breath hitched when he reached me and dropped to a knee, grabbing my hand before I could tug it away from him.

  “Clara Lord, will you do me the great honor of sharing all my obscene wealth and social standing by being my wife?” his voice rumbled through me as he pulled out a honking diamond solitaire. I stared at the sparkling monstrosity and blinked twice, unable to do anything else.

  “Breathe, Clara,” he whispered. Slipping the ring on my finger, a gigantic grin erupted on my face and a swirl of happy emotions swept through me. This life was finally everything I’d ever dreamed it could be. All my senses came rushing back to me as I realized he was staring at me, waiting for an answer.

  “HELL YES!” I screamed, tugging him up and leaping into his arms before raining kisses all over his face and head while his laugh boomed through the air. He held me tightly to him as he started towards the bedroom for a proper celebration.

  -End

  To those I thank…Thank you. This story is my favorite. It was challenging to write but oh so much fun… and the characters, I hope, were real and true and relatable.

  Emma, thanks a million for reading over this with your crazy editing eye. Tara- you were a fantastic beta reader and your feedback was so helpful to me!

  To my family for supporting me and being encouraging on this crazy journey!

  And, of course to my two good friends (wink) for giving me so much fun inspiration!! I love you both!

  I hope to continue the Bloodlines story with Sawyer’s story, so keep those eyes out for more books coming! I love hearing from you, please review, comment or reach out to me with feedback, questions or comments!

  Try another book by K. Larsen

  30 Days

  Committed

  Saving Caroline

  Dating Delaney

  Tug of War

  If you appreciate your romance with snark and spice, perhaps try:

  Strictly Business

  By Aubrianna Hunter

  She is an architect; successful, professional. So when she meets Jake Morgenstern she refuses to let the stubborn, sexist, obnoxious pig of a man disrupt her calm demeanor. No

  matter how strong, gorgeous and ridiculously appealing he is.

  He is expecting a man. So when Jess Wythe turns out to be Jessica, he is thrown off. When he finds that the somewhat frumpy architect is hiding a beautiful woman behind those boxy suits he is even more surprised. Imagine his utter shock when he finds that not only is she gorgeous, but he is drawn to her on an almost visceral level.

  The attraction between these two explodes in more ways than one. You're never quite sure if they are going to make love or war. Will they ever find a way to make the fireworks work for them?

  Or

  Forever

  By Eve Newton

  Liv Nelson has a history that spans a millennium. She has everything a girl could want. A global empire, money, power, eternal youth, beauty, a car for every day of the week, a wall full of shoes, and men who worship and desire her - Just some of the perks of being a thousand year old Vampire. But with the good comes bad, and she realizes that even with eternal life she may not be able to escape the demons created by her past.

  Caught in a web of love and desire, she is torn between the three men with whom she could share forever. Constantine, her maker, Devon, the immortal she made, and Cole, a human actor who has also stolen her heart.

  As the demons of her past reveal she is the object of a shocking revelation, which brings with it an uncertain and unwanted future, will she make the right decisions?

  About the Author

  I am an avid reader, coffee drinker, and chocolate eater who loves writing. I received my B.A. from Simmons College-a while ago. I currently live in Maine, The Way Life Should Be!

  I'm working on my sixth novel currently. I've published Saving Caroline, 30 Days, Committed, Tug of War and Dating Delaney.

  I have a weird addiction to goat cheese and chocolate martinis, not together though.

  I adore my dog. He is the most awesome snuggledoo in the history of dogs. Seriously.

  I hate dirty dishes.

  I like sarcasm and funny people.

  I should probably be running right now... because of the goat cheese....and stuff.

  I love hearing from you so please feel free to contact me!

  http://ferrarik.wix.com/klarsen

  @klarsen_author

  https://www.facebook.com/K.LarsenAuthor