Lawfully His (A Dirty Business Novel Book 1)

by Michelle Betham

  I laugh, I can’t help it. He is so fucking arrogant, I’ve never met anyone like him before. “You know what you were doing.”

  “You flatter yourself, sweetheart. You think I came over there to drive some kind of wedge between you and Mike?”

  I shake my head and back away, I’m not doing this. I’m not playing his game. I’m not playing any game, I love Mike too much for that. Too much to put us at risk again.

  “I’m out of here, Evan. I can’t do this, I can’t be here, I can’t work for you. Not anymore.”

  I turn and start to walk away.

  “And what are you gonna say, huh? To Mike. To Dana. To Jess. What are you gonna tell them? That you just woke up this morning and, all of a sudden you hate your job? You think that’s gonna be something they’ll believe?”

  I stop, but I don’t turn around. I bow my head and breathe in deep but I don’t turn around.

  “You don’t hate your job, Lola. And you don’t want to go anywhere.”

  This time I do turn around, and I laugh again because his arrogance knows no bounds.

  “What you did last night was wrong, Evan.”

  “I still want you, Lola.”

  “You can’t have me.”

  “I can have anything I want, you know that.”

  “You actually believe that, don’t you?” I walk slowly toward him, my eyes locked on his. “You really do believe your own over-inflated hype.”

  “Did Mike suspect anything? When I left, did he say anything? Think anything more of my visit other than to pass on a message?”

  “Of course he didn’t, because you’re a manipulative bastard who knows exactly how to play this game.”

  “I don’t play games, Lola.”

  “Yes, you do. You’ve been playing one since the day I walked into Cavendish King, I was just too naïve to see it. I was blinded by every trick you pull out, I let myself be sucked in by you…”

  “You wanted me just as much as I wanted you.”

  “Jesus, it never fucking ends…”

  “You wanted me, Lola. And you still do. You still want me.”

  I throw back my head and laugh again. This is ridiculous. “I’m going, Evan. Find yourself another secretary, okay? We’re done here.”

  I turn around and make for the door. I really am done with this now.

  “Does he feel the same, Lola? When he fucks you?”

  I want to carry on walking; I want to leave this alone and get out of here, but my feet have other ideas, stopping dead just as I reach the door.

  “Does he make you cry out like I do? Does he touch you the same way? Does he make your skin prickle with excitement when he kisses you?”

  I take a long deep breath and I turn around, and again that anger rises to the surface.

  “You have no fucking right…”

  “I have every right.”

  “Fuck you.”

  He shakes his head, and he smiles a slow smile, and I feel that anger inside of me build. “You don’t want to leave me, Lola. You don’t want to walk away, because, I don’t think you can.”

  “I’m tired of you telling me how you think I feel. You need to let me go now.”

  “You walk out on me and he’ll find out about you and me. Everyone will know, that my beautiful one-night stand became my secretary – and all those late nights and private meetings; they’ll know all about those, too. Your fiancé will know everything, Lola.”

  “That’s blackmail. I could…”

  “What, Lola? What could you do? Sue me? How would that work, hmm? You’re not a lawyer, sweetheart, but you aren’t that stupid, either.”

  He walks over to me, but I can’t move. My feet are glued to the spot, I’m going nowhere.

  “You want to go? Okay. You go. I’m not gonna stop you.”

  “You bastard.” I can’t raise my voice above a whisper, and when I look into his eyes I feel that ball of rage and confusion still nestling there in the pit of my stomach, and I raise a hand to slap him again but he grabs my wrist and holds it tight, and he smiles. That cocky, arrogant smile that just makes me want to lash out all over again.

  “Do you know how beautiful you are when you’re angry?”

  “Fuck you!”

  I manage to wrench my wrist free of his grip but my feet are still refusing to move. And then he reaches out and cups my cheek and he yanks me forward, his mouth crashing down onto mine in a rough, hard kiss. And I try to break free, I try to push him away but he won’t let go. His fingers wind in my hair, his body pushes me back against the wall, and my head is spinning as I feel myself giving in to his kiss. I’m fucking powerless, and I hate that this is what I’ve become; that this is what he’s done to me. I hate that I’ve let this happen. He’s kissing me, and I’m just taking it, because he’s right? Is that it? I really can’t walk away from this man?

  I feel his cock hard against my thigh, and it’s like some kind of out-of-body experience now, like I’m not really here, I’m just watching this happen; watching myself take another step toward the most dangerous mistake I could ever make. So why aren’t I fighting it? Why aren’t I doing that?

  His hand slides inside my shirt, underneath my bra, and I feel his fingers touch my breasts, his palm against my nipple, and that’s when reality hits. When I’m suddenly thrown back into my body and I find the strength I need to push him away. And he doesn’t fight that, he doesn’t stop me. He just takes a couple of steps back and he looks at me, that cocky smile back on his way-too-handsome face.

  “You still want me, Lola.” He comes a little closer, and I can’t say anything, no words are coming out because my breathing’s still too uneven, my throat too constricted. And then he reaches out and cups my cheek again and he leans in so his mouth is almost touching mine. “Don’t you?”

  And then he pulls back, and he walks away, and I close my eyes, breathe in deep, and know that I can’t go anywhere. He’s right.

  I don’t hate this job.

  I don’t want to leave.

  But this is a fight I can’t let him win.

  I refuse to be his prize.

  Evan

  The second I’m outside I punch the wall in sheer frustration, resting my forehead against it once I’m done. I don’t even care that my knuckles throb with the pain or that I’ve cracked the plaster, I’m this close to messing up. What the hell was I doing in there?

  I close my eyes and take a long deep breath before I turn around and lean back against the wall. I just need a minute.

  I panicked, when she threatened to leave. But was blackmail really the right way to keep her here? She isn’t some stupid kid, she isn’t scared of fighting back, and if that happens we could both be in trouble. I get that Mike coming back, that confused her, of course it did. And I get that she still loves him. But I think I might love her too, as much as I’ve tried to fight those feelings because I don’t welcome them in my life. They hurt and destroy you; suck everything out of you until you’re nothing but an empty shell, and I swore that was it. I was never going back there. But then she walked into my world and, somehow, without me even realizing, she opened that box. She let a part of me out that I’d locked away and I have been trying ever since to put it back where it belongs; back in that box of denial. I’ve been trying. I’ve failed.

  “Evan? You okay?”

  My eyes spring open and Jess is standing there, a concerned look on her face. I take another deep breath and drag a hand back through my hair.

  “Yeah, I’m… I’m fine. I just needed to let off a little steam, that’s all.”

  Her eyes drop to my hand, and I look down to see the blood on my knuckles. Then she raises her gaze and looks at the wall; at the small crack in the plaster I made when I punched it.

  “Is everything all right?”

  “Everything’s fine, Jess. Like I said, I just needed to let off a little steam. There’s nothing for you to be concerned about.”

  My tone was unnecessarily harsh there, and I
didn’t mean it to be, but I need her to stop asking questions. I need to get back to my desk.

  “Okay. Well, you take it easy.”

  I walk away, head back to my office; back to normality. Whatever that is now, because I don’t think I know anymore.

  Lola

  I open my eyes as I hear the door open, and I brace myself for it to be Evan. But it isn’t. It’s Jess. So I take one last deep breath, shake my hair out and quickly compose myself. I have to make it look like I’m here for a reason. So when she comes around the corner I’m sifting my way through a box of case notes that mean nothing to me, but at least it looks like I’m doing something.

  “Oh, hello.”

  She seems slightly surprised to see me.

  “Sorry, Lola, I just wasn’t expecting to see you in here.” She leans back against the table behind her and clutches the stack of files she’s holding to her chest. “I’ve just seen Evan outside.”

  I look at her, and I try to keep my expression stoic. “So?”

  “He looked a bit – I dunno. A bit strange. It looked, to me, like he’d punched the wall, just outside here, I mean, his hand was bleeding…”

  I push the box of notes back into place in its storage unit and I stand up, folding my arms. “Is he okay?”

  She shrugs, and I feel sick, the nervous tension in my gut is almost unbearable.

  “I’d better go see if he’s all right.”

  “Lola?”

  Her voice stops me in my tracks and I turn back around. I just can’t seem to get out of this room this morning.

  “Are you?”

  “Am I what, Jess?”

  “All right.”

  “I’m fine.” I throw her what I hope is a convincing smile and I turn and make my way out of there, heading straight back upstairs. But I don’t go to my cubicle. I go to Mike’s office, and he’s there, on the phone, so I wait. I look out of the window and I try to get my head together because I feel – I know I’m a mess right now.

  “Hey, baby… you need something?”

  I turn around and look at him. “You.”

  Hr frowns. “Sorry?”

  “I need you.”

  He steps out from behind his desk and comes over to me, slipping his arms around my waist and pulling me close, kissing the tip of my nose.

  “Now?”

  “Now.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine, Mike. I just need a little bit of time with my fiancé, that’s all.” I reach up and take his face in my hands, pulling him down for a long, slow kiss and it’s the medicine I need; the antidote to all that crap Evan laid on me downstairs. “I guess I must be having one of those days. And anyway, haven’t you ever wanted to have sex at work? Come on. It might be really, really hot.”

  He grins, and he kisses me again, and I press my body against his as he holds me tight.

  “Okay,” he murmurs, grabbing my hand and leading me out of his office. “I know where we can go. The men’s restroom next to the partners’ kitchen is always quiet this time of day.”

  “Bit risky, isn’t it?”

  He looks at me, and that grin is still in place. “Guess I must be having one of those days too, huh? Besides, doesn’t that element of danger make it even hotter? Isn’t that how this shit works?”

  I smile and fall into step beside him, still clinging on to his hand as we walk along the corridor toward the restrooms at the far end where the partners’ kitchen is situated.

  “You go in there, pretend you’re making Evan’s coffee or something, and I’ll go make sure the coast is clear.”

  I let go of his hand and go into the kitchen, opening the cupboards and looking inside even though I’m not interested in their contents. I know what’s in there, I’m in here most days, stocking up those cupboards.

  “Hey.”

  I turn and smile again as he jerks his head back toward himself, holding out his hand, and I take it. “All clear?”

  “All clear.”

  He kisses me quickly and drags me into the restroom, kicking the door shut behind him before he pulls me into the stall furthest from the door.

  “Just in case.” He grins.

  I smile, and then I drop my skirt and shimmy out of my panties and he lifts me up, my legs wrapping themselves around him as he pushes me back against the wall. “Just in case,” I repeat, reaching down to unzip him, and I close my eyes and bite down on my lip as he enters me; as he gives me that calming injection I need, one that makes my whole body relax as he pushes deeper into me with fast yet gentle thrusts, and I cling onto him, groaning quietly as he takes me over; makes me feel better. I needed this, to make me see that Evan can’t hurt me, he can’t do that. I won’t let him. And as my beautiful fiancé comes inside me, I bury my face in his hair, hold him tight and know that I love him so much, I do. I love him.

  Evan can’t hurt me.

  He can’t hurt us.

  I can’t let him.

  Evan

  “Where’ve you been?”

  I glance up as she sets a mug of coffee on my desk. She looks slightly flushed, and her hair’s a little messed up, and I feel my stomach take a dive, shit! What the hell…?

  “I was getting your coffee.” She places her hands palm down on my desk and leans forward. “That’s my job, isn’t it?”

  I stand up and walk around the front of my desk, and she turns so she’s resting that beautiful ass against it, folding her arms, her eyes never leaving mine.

  “And that takes you, how long? To fetch my coffee?”

  She holds my gaze, and I move a little closer to her, digging my hands in my pockets to stop myself from touching her because, Jesus Christ, I want to. I want to touch her, the way I know he was touching her, just a few minutes ago.

  “I must’ve got distracted,” she says, and still she isn’t breaking that stare, and I’m terrified all that’s going to do is make my cock hard.

  I laugh quietly, and I take one more step toward her, so I’m almost right up in her face. “You want to fuck your boyfriend, sweetheart, you do it on your own time, okay? Not on mine.”

  She smiles a slow smile, and her eyes still don’t move from mine, and I swear I can feel myself burning up. The tension in here; the atmosphere, it’s suffocating. Overwhelming.

  “What’s the matter, Mr. King? Are you jealous? Do you miss those times you fucked me in the men’s restroom?”

  “Now who’s playing games, Lola?”

  “You started it, Evan. Let’s just remember that.”

  She finally breaks the stare and strides out of my office. I drop my head and lean forward, gripping the edge of the desk so tight my knuckles turn white. I need to get my shit together, and fast because, right now, I’m losing it. I’m losing her, I’m pushing her further away and that was never my intention. I’m playing my own game wrong, and that needs to change.

  I inhale deeply and exhale slowly before I stand up and walk back behind my desk. She’s sitting at hers, talking to one of the female associates, and I feel my stomach churn as she holds up her left hand to show off the engagement ring Mike gave her. I could give her a ring far bigger and more expensive than the one she’s wearing but I know that kind of shit isn’t going to impress her. She doesn’t care about the extravagance and the money, I knew that the night I met her.

  I pick up my coffee and turn to look out of the window, and for a few seconds I just stare out at the buildings opposite, the city below. I just need a minute.

  “Evan?”

  Dana’s voice causes me to swing around, so fast I almost spill my coffee.

  “Whoa! What the hell’s got you so jumpy?” she laughs, throwing a pile of files down onto my desk. And that was, thankfully, a rhetorical question. Dana Cavendish isn’t one to invite conversations she isn’t interested in pursuing. “I need some advice about Jenson’s case. He’s going to be here in half an hour and Mike’s found something in his recent deposition that might throw up a couple of problems. You got a
minute to look over these and tell me what you think?”

  “Sure.”

  “You can sit in on the meeting, too. If you like. Always good to have another set of eyes and ears in there, especially on this one. Unless you’re too distracted by something else, that is?”

  My head shoots up and I glare at her through narrowed eyes. “I’m not distracted.”

  “You sure about that? Come on, Evan, I know you too well. And I recognize that expression. You wore it a lot toward the end of our marriage.”

  “I’m not distracted, Dana.”

  She just looks at me, raises an eyebrow and walks out of my office, stopping on the way to talk to Lola, and again my stomach dips and dives and I sit down, pulling the files Dana left on my desk toward me. And as I quickly glance up I see Dana’s made herself comfortable perched on the edge of Lola’s desk, the two of them deep in conversation, but then she quickly looks up and her eyes meet mine and she isn’t stupid. So maybe she’s right. Maybe I am distracted. But I won’t be for long…

  Twenty-Four

  Lola

  “I can’t believe you made this yourself,” Kat exclaims as she shovels another mouthful of Mike’s spiced lamb tagine into her mouth. “Handsome, talented, and the man can cook!”

  “Yeah. My little brother’s a regular superhero,” Eric chides as Mike pulls a face.

  Kat and Eric are over for dinner, and it’s nice, having them round again. It feels like old times, like normality is almost back to the way it once was, except, I’m not sure we can ever get that back now. Not entirely. Maybe too much has changed.

  “You all right?” Mike asks, gently squeezing my knee under the table, and I look at him, and I smile.

  “I’m fine, sorry. It’s just been a busy day, that’s all. Evan’s looking for a new associate and I’ve been tasked with sorting out interviews and drawing up a shortlist.”

  “Sometimes he works you too hard,” Mike sighs, taking a sip of his beer.

  “I can handle it.”

  “I’m not saying you can’t, I just think he takes advantage now and again.”