Drawing Bloodlines (The Princeton Allegiant Series Book 1)

by Deborah Garland

  “Wait,” he grinds through clenched teeth as though speaking is difficult for him.

  Strange, since moments ago he lectured so beautifully to an entire class. Slowly, his hand comes around and rests in the center of my chest.

  He releases a low growl like perhaps the stabbing crush of my heart released something into the environment. Something he smells. “Please. Don’t go.”

  If vampires smell arousal and fear, maybe they also smell heartbreak. I exhale a sad sigh and turn to face him. I thought I knew every look a man could give a woman, but his face is a complete mystery to me.

  When I nod, he takes my bags from me and extends his arm toward the center of the office. I ignore the couch he made me come on last week and reach into the bags to take out my notebook. At his white board with a marker in hand, I ignore the shaking that crept all the way up to my shoulder and write out the differential equation formula he used in class tonight.

  When I’m partway through he says, “Elizabeth, I’m sorry.”

  My hand stops briefly, but I steady my breath and keep writing. “Sorry for what, Alex?” I snap the marker closed and face him.

  “I’m nervous.”

  I missed something. It’s as if I pursued Alex and now he has second thoughts. After I release my lip from my upper teeth, I say, “Nervous about what?”

  “I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

  An ache settles in my heart, but I don’t know exactly what he means. The more clarifications I ask for the more stupid he’ll think I am. I yank the cap off the marker again and turn back to the board.

  “It’s okay, Alex. We don’t have to do anything. You asked me to help you with this class. That’s what I’m going to do.”

  I continue to write while he watches me. The fizzing of steam and the squeak of the marker against the white board hold my attention. Hopefully it covers up the shattering of my heart. Damn, he can smell that too.

  “You were talking about calculating the differences in an initial state and a final state.” I’m proud I sound professional instead of a hurt, confused woman. “Starting with an initial condition and moving forward in time, it’s best to use a deterministic process to calculate the trajectory. Remember, no two trajectories can cross in state space. There are ordinary and partial differential equations. You used the ordinary tonight, but I think the partial is better. Let me show you the difference.”

  I write and talk to fill the empty space between us. I break down only part of the formula when the air in the room shifts again and his body is suddenly pressed against mine. His fingers begin to inch up my rib cage and when his hands close over my breasts, a wicked chill crawls up my spine. My nipples pucker to attention instantly under his skin.

  “I thought of nothing but you since last week,” he whispers in my ear.

  His breath is cool and sweet against my cheek like the feel and smell of an ice-cream parlor.

  I can’t help but mold my body into his. He’s so unyielding against my back and his perfect body may as well be carved in marble.

  “It’s dangerous for me to be with you. It’s dangerous for you to even know about who and what I am.”

  “Well,” I interject. “I figured it out. You didn’t just open up to me out of nowhere.”

  “I was sloppy with you. Overcome by your scent. It frightens me how much I want you. It’s been a long time since I was with a human woman.”

  The idea of Alex with another woman, especially a human, knowing he prefers a warm bed kicks up my jealousy. “I haven’t been with anyone since my divorce.” I swallow back the bitter taste of shame from my confession.

  Alex responds with a tighter squeeze. “Like my need for human blood, I learned to ration my other needs. For some reason since I met you, you’re all I want. If this is not to be, and I can’t have you in a way that keeps you safe, I’ll go back to abstinence.” His declaration leaves me speechless.

  I turn in his arms and lace his fingers into mine to control the pressure. I have a feeling he can crack my ribs. His forehead leans against mine, but he doesn’t kiss me. “It’s okay,” I whisper. “I’m not afraid of what you are.”

  Smothering a scoff, he says, “Say it, Elizabeth. It’s okay.”

  A ragged breath drags into my lungs. “Vampire,” I whisper.

  “You should be afraid.” His shoulders flex and his eyes go black. The sugary scent of his arousal hits me, encouraging my own senses to come alive. “I just don’t think I’m ready to take this further. Yet.”

  “I see.” Unsure of what to do next, I wiggle from his embrace and walk to where I piled up my things, ready to gather them in my arms.

  Alex’s hand stops me. “That doesn’t mean I want you to leave.”

  God, I feel awful now. He thinks I’m just here for sex. A sharp pain in my frontal lobe makes me double over. Alex eases me into a chair. I blink a few times at him. “Was that you?”

  Guilty eyes sweep over my face. “I’m not very good at it. It’s not something every vampire can do. I may be the only one. Well me, and the vampire who made me.”

  I grab Alex’s dress shirt, absorbing this shocking information. “Um, who made you?”

  ~ ~ ~

  I’m not prepared for questions.

  Which means I’m a fucking idiot.

  How could Elizabeth, or anyone for that matter, not have questions? As if Jesus were to show up at a cocktail party and people would let him stand in the corner by himself. No, people are curious as hell about vampires. What I can do is fascinating enough, Loren on the other hand . . .

  “Alexander, are you sure you don’t want me to leave?” Elizabeth asks in a determined voice.

  Christ, this is the second time I made this woman feel unwanted tonight. “No,” I answer and touch her forehead gently. “Did I hurt you?”

  “It was a sharp feeling.” Her fingers smooth out the skin over her left eye.

  “The good news is if I try to read your mind, you’ll know it.”

  “Alex, you don’t have to go into my brain. I’m here. Ask me anything you want to know.”

  “I wanted to know what you were feeling at that moment.”

  “You can ask that too.” She stares at me with the bluest eyes I ever saw. “Can’t you sense how I feel? How I want you?”

  That’s the problem. Elizabeth wants me too much and it scares me. She’ll let me go too far. Time to change the subject. “You wanted to know who made me vampire.”

  “Only if you want to tell me.”

  “I hope you understand, if I don’t tell you certain things, it’s only for your protection.” I touch the spot above her eye she rubbed earlier.

  The skin tingles as the tissue heals under my touch. Her eyes call out to me to do something. Talk to her. Kiss her. Fuck her. Everything except offer her an empty lost expression. I stand and move away, unsure if the memory of how and when I was made will make me want to rip apart whatever is in my grasp. I don’t want it to be Elizabeth’s hand. “It was 1905. I volunteered to go to Panama.”

  “Panama. For the canal?”

  “Yes. Malaria swept through the jungles taking lives by the dozens. Then doctors began getting sick. Soon I became afflicted. One man remained in perfect health, a tall man who spoke more languages than anyone I ever met. Oddly, English was what I heard him speak the least. When he did, it held traces of Estuary English that often slipped into a romantic heaviness of someone who spent time in ancient Rome.”

  “Was he a doctor too?”

  “Yes.” I never felt so sick in my life and at times prayed for death. Except I didn’t want to leave my sons without a father. “All I wanted was to get well enough to travel home. Die there if that’s what was to be.”

  “But you didn’t die.”

  “The records s
how I did.” I scrub my hands through my hair. “It was chaos. So many people were sick in some form or another. I was in a dirty bed for days. No one fed me. Let’s just say they ran out of bedpans.”

  Elizabeth puts a hand over her mouth. “Oh, Alex.”

  “It was a different time, Elizabeth. Anyway, the man, Loren, came to my bed and touched me.” Saying his name out loud to a stranger, I make sure to pronounce it correctly. ‘Lawren.’ “His hands were ice cold, but I thought it was because I had a fever of what I could only suspect was well into the hundreds.”

  “Why didn’t he just give you his blood the way you helped me?”

  My lips tug into a reluctant smile. She’s so fucking smart. “There wasn’t equipment to do that. The sun went down and I truly thought it would be my last night on earth. I don’t have a full recollection of what happened because I drifted in and out of consciousness, but I remember being carried out of the patient tent. The cool air felt shockingly wonderful against my burning skin. So many people crammed into that tent made the situation worse. No fresh air. He brought me to his personal quarters, which were quite lavish, compared to what the rest of us were confined to. He heated up some water, stripped me, and bathed me.”

  Elizabeth’s eyebrows raise.

  “Honestly.” I stifle a chuckle over her implied assumption. “If he had nefarious intentions I don’t think I could have fought him. But no, I was a fucking mess. After he gave me fresh pants, he laid me on a cot. He ran his hands across my body and then he spoke his first words to me. ‘Alexander, you’re going to die tonight.’”

  “Oh my God.” Elizabeth gasps. “Did you think he intended to kill you?”

  “No. I figured as a physician, he knew my prognosis was dire. He wanted to give me the opportunity to die with some dignity. Not sweat soaked in a dirty bed lying in my own shit.” I stand and face the other way. “Years later, Loren told me he didn’t mean to turn me. He planned to feed off me, as I suspected he did to others who eventually died. Because of his powers, and I can get more into this later because it’s a much more in-depth conversation, he only turned one other person. He didn’t know if his gifts could be passed down through the process. Honestly, he was afraid. A new vampire, strong, raw and hungry, out of control with the power to incinerate him.” Or run off never to be heard from again like Julianna, the woman he turned two hundred years before me.

  “So then why did he do it?”

  “Because of what he was, he was tired of being alone. He took a chance.”

  “Alex, do you have powers like him?”

  I turn to face her. “Does that matter?”

  She gawks at me as if I told her I have a nuclear weapon in my basement pointed at her house. “I’m . . . I’m not sure.”

  “To be honest, I’m not quite sure what I can and can’t do. I’m only a little more than one hundred years old. Loren is over one thousand years old. He had centuries to understand the powers he has. Control and hone them. He was made during a much different time. Even if I could do all that he could, I have no use for the lethal—”

  “Lethal?” Elizabeth’s skin turns nearly the same color as mine.

  “All vampires are lethal. I don’t need Loren’s powers to take down a human. He’s more dangerous to other vampires.”

  She nods softly. If there is ever a time for Elizabeth to turn and run away it’s now. It’s bad enough I am vampire and all the complications that come with that. I added a layer of messiness she’s not prepared for. I sit on the leather sofa, watching her while she studies her hands.

  It’s for the best if she leaves. For her and her child.

  Even if I don’t want her to.

  When she stands and faces the door, it’s as if I got stabbed in the gut. Except she locks it and crosses the room with heavy steps and a steely expression on her face, like she’s going to smack me.

  To my joyful surprise, she edges up her skirt and straddles my lap. I steady her at the waist as debauched thoughts pour in from all corners of my brain. When she leans down to kiss me, I respond by claiming her mouth with potent lust. Our tongues tangle, hers hot and wet, mine cool and silky. She kisses me with a passion that matches my own.

  Is this goodbye? No. That’s not what this is.

  I run my hands up her torso cupping soft breasts. Their heat blaze right through her bra and blouse. I want every stitch of clothes off her. Right now! The steam pipes hiss and remind me where I am. No. Elizabeth deserves better than this.

  Pulling my lips away, I groan, “I don’t want to make love to you here.” I touch her chin gently. “But I also can’t wait until next Wednesday to see you again.”

  She leans back and studies me. “What do you have in mind?”

  “Are you free Saturday night?”

  “Wait.” She narrows her gaze at me. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

  I don’t quite believe it myself, but I answer, “Yeah, I guess I am.”

  Chapter 11

  My date with Alex took two days and about a dozen texts to iron out.

  Immediately, I dismissed the ridiculous idea of going out to dinner. I don’t need a meal from him. Plus, it gives me an opportunity to eat with Annie. I also suggested I meet up with him, because even if we were not in some alternate universe, I’m not sure I’m ready for him to meet my daughter.

  I was prepared for the typical male suggestion that we spend the ‘date’ at his house given his aversion to social situations. I was delighted, however when he suggested a science lecture at the university. Princeton is familiar grounds to him. He’s known there and doesn’t have to become yet another version of himself.

  “A biology lecture?” Theresa whines from my bed where she and Annie lay on their stomachs watching me get dressed.

  Penny, her chihuahua, is wedged between them. Giving my dad a break, I tapped Theresa for the job. Even if that meant fessing up that I’m seeing someone.

  “Are you going to stop at Starbucks for something to keep you awake?”

  I clip on my necklace and turn to her. “You’re a science teacher!”

  “Yeah and that’s the last thing I want to do on a date.” She winks.

  “Okay, how do I look?” I face my fashion police.

  “Beautiful, Mommy!”

  “Really?” Theresa scrunches her face. “A skirt I’ve seen you wear a hundred times?”

  “It’s a lecture not a nightclub. I’m kind of known on campus now. I’m going for professional,” I say and tug my hair into a soft chignon.

  “At least wear that gorgeous mop of yours down.” Theresa jumps off the bed and undoes the nice twist I just made. “There. Be a woman not a teacher.”

  When Penny barks and kneads her paws into my comforter, Annie sits up. “I’ll put her outside.”

  The dog jumps on the floor but runs to the corner of my bedroom and digs furiously into the carpet, growling at the floorboards between my two bureaus.

  “Penny, baby, stop that.” Theresa scoops up the dog.

  “What was that about?” I touch the spot near the wall she found so interesting.

  “Have you had any problems with rats or squirrels?” Theresa asks and puts Penny, who is now calm in Annie’s arms so she can bring the dog outside.

  “No, why? Do you think she sensed something behind the sheetrock?”

  “Yeah, probably.” Theresa cranks her head over my shoulder to make sure Annie is gone. “So, are you coming home tonight?”

  “Of course, I’m coming home,” I assure her even though it’s something I actually hadn’t considered.

  “Do you have protection?”

  “Um, no.” I swallow. “But he can take care of that.”

  “Are you sure? That’s their thing you know. They pretend to forget so they can pressure you into
letting them go raw dog.” Theresa crosses her arms.

  “Raw dog? Really?” I say because I can’t argue that vampires can’t have children. Can they? Given Alex’s medical background before and after he became vampire, I trust he would let me know if protection is necessary. “I trust him to be responsible.”

  “So said the pregnant woman.”

  “What?” Annie stands in the doorway with a hopeful expression on her face.

  Damn it! I never considered how she would feel about me having another baby. The lack of any sex in my life these past years made it an easy subject to ignore. If I move forward with any kind of relationship with Alex, even for a short duration, would Annie be hoping for a little brother or sister? I hate the idea of crushing those hopes.

  I shake my head. “Theresa was kidding.”

  After she takes Annie back downstairs, I face the mirror one last time and blow out a nervous breath. This is it. This is real. I’m officially dating.

  A vampire.

  ~ ~ ~

  I smooth my tie and slick my hair back in place.

  It’s the same length when I was made, which is longer than I used to wear it as a human. The weeks I spent in Panama it grew like a weed. There weren’t any barbers. I had a full beard too. Once I shaved it off though, the hair never grew back.

  Elizabeth pleasantly agreed to the lecture. I gave Armand a heads-up that I planned to bring a human and did not plan to introduce him. I told her about Francisco and Loren. Seeing another vampire in person might be too much for her.

  I wait for her outside the lecture hall and when she arrives I don’t make her walk the entire length to get to me. God, I can’t wait to touch and smell her.

  “Hello, Elizabeth.” I greet her with a delicate kiss on her cheek.

  She returns the restrained gesture. “Hello, Dr. Manning.”