by Vi Voxley
The lifestone seemed heavy in her pocket, reminding her that stakes were high and until she knew the players, she was better off keeping some things to herself. For the sake of everyone, herself included.
"Let's begin then," Audrey said.
Naima saw a flickering on the holoprojector as someone came up to Audrey, staying near her. She guessed it was Tieran, the Palian commander who had killed the Fearless the last time. As she removed her own bracelet, Naima felt Braen move closer too.
The shock of cold came first. Then the Fearless saw Naima. Saw both of them, in fact. She could sense the creature's confusion, if only for a moment. It was so much stronger than them. It cut through her defenses like a hot knife through butter, seeing her intentions.
She felt it laughing. Laughing.
Through a haze of pain and ice and the Fearless' hunger intruding into her head, Naima heard Audrey's voice saying something. She couldn’t quite make out the words. Braen's arms came around her and his touch helped her focus, her muscles instinctively relaxing.
Looking at the map was painful, but she pointed at the Fearless' location as accurately as she could, letting her senses lead her. All the while, she felt like she was standing in the coldest place in the universe, slowly being circled by a predator she had no hope of controlling. Only the man behind her, with his strong arms around her, kept her from the very real and reasonable emotion of panic that was welling up inside of her.
Then Braen closed the bracelet around her wrist and it was over. Looking at the holoprojector, Naima saw Audrey breathing heavily, but smiling, a matching bracelet around her wrist as well.
"Good," Audrey said. "Very good for our first try. Your officers can calculate now, General?"
She was taking it far better than Naima was.
Must come with practice, Naima thought with a hint of bitterness at the notion that she’d be doing this often.
Yet this was what she’d volunteered for and she’d never go back on her word.
"Yes," Braen replied. "It's not perfect, but it narrowed down the search considerably. It looks like the Darnetta system. We need to get closer. Thank you, Governor Price."
"Let me know you if you need me again," Audrey said, turning to Naima then.
Her tired eyes seemed sad for a moment before adding: "Take care of yourself, Naima. Never take the bracelet off unless you have to. Never try anything foolish. It will be tempting to try and find out more, but trust me, it doesn't work. You don’t want to see what it wants to show you.
"The Fearless will always get more from you than you do from it. It can smell your weaknesses. Stay close to the general."
With that ominous piece of wisdom, Audrey was gone. Naima suspected that the "anything foolish" comment was meant for her alone, meaning the stone in her pocket. She didn't say anything about it.
11
Naima
Leading her back to her quarters, Braen didn't speak and neither did Naima. The weight of Audrey's words hung around them like a heavy cloak.
As soon as they were alone, the general pulled her into his arms and kissed her fiercely. There were no questions, no doubts, no hesitations. Forgetting herself, Naima melted into the kiss, feeling Braen's hands hold her close to him.
It was nice. Just what Naima needed after hearing the Fearless' terrifying laugh. It took a couple of seconds for that pesky rationality of hers to rear its ugly head again.
It's like the monster wants us to find it… Even if he didn’t, this isn’t fair on Braen.
She pushed him away.
The world seemed to hold its breath along with Naima, waiting for the thunder and lightning that was sure to come. There was nothing but a hungry smile on Braen's lips.
"It is customary for the geshas to fight the bond at first," he said, clearly pleased. "I wasn't sure you knew that. That part of our bonds is not known so widely."
Naima had known that curious tradition. She instantly regretted playing along, even if it was unintentional. She frowned, searching for words to make herself perfectly understood to the warlord.
"This can't be," she finally said with all the confidence she could manage, what with her heart beating and her body longing to get back into the embrace. "I want you to understand that, General. I'm not doing this as some sort of foreplay. I’m not fighting you for the sake of fighting you. I am fighting you because this cannot happen."
"You can call me Braen," he replied, a hint of doubt muddled in with the amusement in his blue eyes. "You are my gesha. It is your right to call me by my name."
"I'd rather not," Naima said, feeling her hands shaking a little when the general's eyes flashed and so did his valor squares. "I don't want to play games with you, General."
Braen's body language changed from relaxed to tense so swiftly Naima actually took a step back. Then, she pressed her lips together and stood her ground.
These are your choices. You need to stand by them, even in the face of the most infuriatingly compelling man in the damn universe.
"This is not a game for me," the general said, his deep voice turning the words into a hiss.
"I agree," Naima answered. "That's what I've been trying to tell you, General. I'm not playing either. I've read about your bonds. I know what the fighting of the gesha means. It's supposed to be this romantic notion that the couple fights for each other and comes together against all odds, but I think it's..."
She trailed off, instantly regretting saying too much. Braen's burning eyes held her in place like invisible chains around her body.
"Yes?" the general asked with the maddening calm of an approaching storm. "Say what you were going to say."
When Naima didn't respond, Braen cocked his head to the side slightly, adding with obvious irritation: "I'm not going to explain this to you again. You are my gesha. There is nothing you can say that will change that, no words that would put you in danger. You can speak freely."
Not as freely as you think, Naima thought, slicking her tongue over her teeth.
Visions of her mother, waiting anxiously for her father to return home from one of his missions around the solar system, played so clearly in her mind. She’d watched the woman for years, slowly withering as the breath of love she felt for Naima’s father was never returned in full.
While general Braen was no wilting daisy, the mechanics here were too strikingly similar in Naima’s head. How could anyone choose love when it was so easy to fuck up? Especially when your supposed partner believed in it absolutely and without question.
"I think the fighting is a play," Naima said, conviction making her voice stronger as she looked the general in the eyes. "I think the couples delude themselves into believing that the charade actually brings them closer. Someone always gets hurt.
“I will not fall for that trap, no matter what you say. I'm sorry, General. When I say this can't happen, I really mean it. We have a whole galaxy to save. I just want to focus on that. Isn't that more important?"
"No."
Naima simply stared at the general as he watched her with a whole new expression, one she didn't fully comprehend. The valor squares that had been casting the room in a furious red glow receded to calm and Braen relaxed as well. She scowled, about to say more.
The general raised his hand and Naima stayed silent.
"It is not," he said. "Not to me. Before you call me heartless, I assure you I am not. I have taken many lives and I will take a whole lot more, but Brions aren't opposed to life as many in the Union believe. I want the same as you do. I want the Fearless gone and the lifestone to be safe."
Safe with you? Naima added in her mind, perhaps adding more edge to it than she intended.
After all, seeing him as all the stories told about his people made him out to be was a lot easier than imagining that she and the rest of the galaxy had been wrong this whole time. If Brions weren’t hungry for power to a fault, then what were they?
"I realize that the numbers don't make sense to you. There are so man
y species, thousands of worlds, billions and billions of lives. What is that compared to one person? One fated couple?"
"It is incomparable," Naima cut in, her anger getting the better of her.
"It really is," Braen agreed and his calm was becoming to gnaw at her defenses, bringing the emotions she sought to ignore far too close to the surface. "Imagine it. If I saved everyone and lost you. It would be acceptable to you?"
"I don't want to die, but yes," Naima retorted. "Why can't you understand that what you’re saying is completely crazy? You can’t put the needs of the few in front of the needs of the many."
"Because," Braen said, the slightest hint of hurt in his voice, "As you said, you don't feel what I feel. Geshas don't get the recognizing moment and I'm not the first man to have this conversation, especially with a Terran.
“If I lost you, there would be nothing. No joy could compare to seeing you smile. No victory would taste as good as your lips. Food would lose its taste and the world its color. People around me would turn into ghosts and I myself would die, even if I didn't stop breathing. If I lost you, I couldn’t save the universe. So in this case, the few come before the many, so the many would have any chance of survival at all."
Naima didn't know what to say, how to respond to something that extreme.
"It is still crazy," she said, trying to smile, to joke about words that had to be jest, otherwise they were just impossible. "I'm nice and all and pretty lovable, you know, but that is a bit much. A whole lot too much. I don't think there is a person who deserves a reaction like that."
She was starting to feel nauseous again. This was even worse than she’d pictured in her head. All the moments that she’d watched her mother slowly wither and crumble were now being laid out before her along with Braen’s words. It was like he was narrating her worst nightmare to her, even though Naima had thought that there could be nothing scarier than the Fearless.
Apparently she’d been wrong. The thought of destroying someone was far worse than the possibility of being destroyed by something herself.
Braen took a step closer, a soft smile upon his lips and this time, when he pulled Naima into his arms, she didn't struggle. She didn’t have the mental faculties available at the moment to mount a defense, especially when all she wanted was to bury her head in Braen’s chest and hyperventilate a little.
"Deserve," the general repeated. "This has nothing to do with deserving or worth or any other objective quality you want to name. This just is. And while you are free to fight and try to rationalize a gift like this, I will protect and cherish you until my very last breath."
This is absolutely over-the-top. No, scratch that. It sped past over-the-top a while ago. It's butter mountains and milk lakes. I'm force-fed a fairytale. A fairytale in which I’m going to be the villain.
"You don't even know me," she protested as the last resort, her voice weak.
"I want to," Braen said. "And I will. So far, I'm liking everything about you."
"I just called your way of life ridiculous," Naima pointed out, but to her surprise, Braen simply smiled.
"You are not the first and I am not a man who lets someone's disagreement shake my beliefs," he said, grinning. "I am a general. I am used to fighting for what I want. I don't want you to be pliant and spineless. Brions like spirit and you have a lot of it, to say those things to my face."
Naima groaned slightly, dropping her head against his chest. The sense of warmth that spread through her felt nice, even if it only added to the mounting confusion that stirred within her.
Then something happened that she absolutely hadn't expected. The general backed away from her, giving her a slight nod. The absence of his scent and closeness was so abrupt that Naima almost reached out to pull him back, but her dignity and resolve finally made an appearance.
"I won't deny that this is not what I want," Braen said with finality. "Whatever you think you know about the Brion bonds, you have still much to discover. I will give you everything if it is in my power to give and as I've said before, it is a lot.
“You are right about the Fearless. Right now, it's a more pressing matter. Perhaps, after we've brought peace to the galaxy, you might consider me again. I will not push you on the matter. For now."
There was a joke in there somewhere, a biting humor about Naima's impossibly high standards. She felt relieved. In truth, she'd expected a much tougher fight, more arguments, less reason.
Nothing like what happened. The words Braen had spoken were... genuine and heart-felt. They made her at once incredibly sad and happier than she could ever remember being. As much as he was controlled by what he thought was right, there was still reason in him. That gave her hope.
Hope for what, exactly?
She bit her tongue before she could launch into arguments with either herself or the general.
"Are you afraid?" Braen asked suddenly.
So much for romance. Thank the Gods.
"You heard Audrey," Naima replied, forcing herself to smile, and then sigh without any coaxing at all. "I mean, yes, yes, I am. Who wouldn't be a little intimidated?"
Braen's gaze told her the answer.
Brions didn't fear anything. At least not this one. Whether it was an immortal monster or the weight of love eternal, he was fine with every and any challenge.
At least on one account, Naima wasn’t quite so brave.
In any other situation, she would have rolled her eyes at that notion of Brion fearlessness. But she was far too close to the source of the rumors to doubt them now. Braen, like the rest of the generals, really didn’t fear anything. It was strangely comforting.
"Oh no," Naima protested. "Don't give me that again. I'm not going to climb under the bed and cry, but I think it's only fair to be afraid of the Fearless. Sensible, even. It’s in the name, after all. I would be pretty insane not to worry."
"I don't think it's unjustified to fear it," Braen said with what passed for a shrug. "Fear is healthy and as the name implies, the monster lacks that.
“I suggest you read the report of Audrey Price and the paladin, Tieran. They had to beat the Fearless back time and time again, because it kept coming at them at all costs. It is a beast with a singular mind. It sets its sight upon something and approaches it with all the subtlety of a missile."
"So kind of like a Brion then?" Naima said, grinning a little.
Braen smirked, but there was a warning glare in his eyes.
"We really do have a reputation," he said with a mocking sigh. "We are determined, yet even Brions can back down if the need calls for it.
“Even so, it is okay for you to be concerned. We have a daunting task ahead of us, but I want to tell you something. The Palians believe the Fearless can't be killed. They think I'm going to imprison it. I think that's an amazingly short-sighted goal. There will always be someone who could be persuaded to release it when I turn my back."
"You have got to be kidding," Naima blurted out before she could stop herself.
He can’t be saying what I think he’s saying…
"I wish I was." Braen said and the smile on his lips turned cruel and vicious for a second. "There is trouble already. The Chali Fleet has contacted us and are inbound."
"The traders?" Naima asked, frowning, noticing how Braen's eyes lit up when she spoke of them with obvious disdain. "Even they wouldn't be that idiotic."
"You'd be surprised," Braen said. "They have always messed with forces they can't understand, much less control. It's what differentiates them from the Palians, although they share the same insatiable curiosity."
"And you'll still meet them?" Naima asked, surprised. "Why?"
"I know my enemies. The Chali are one of the most dangerous, even though they pose no military threat. They are intelligent, which is not the same as wise. I want to keep a very close eye on them as we proceed.
“There is something at play here if they dare to approach me. We need to find out what that is before I confront the Fearless. It is da
ngerous enough alone, I don't need to be stabbed in the back by its allies.”
Braen paused for a moment, as if choosing his words next. Naima found herself hanging off of every syllable he spoke.
"I tell you this so you would know what lies ahead for us," the general continued, making Naima think guiltily about the secrets she kept. "Everything I plan and everything that might happen. It will all be for you, my gesha. Remember that. You come first and always will. We will settle this when the Fearless is dead, once and for all."
Of course he’s saying exactly that… He plans to kill something that can’t be killed. Great. That’ll work. And then he’ll claim me as his blushing bride and everything will be rainbows and unicorns from there on.
Naima was about to say something, but thought better of it. She'd argued enough for one day. Besides, Brions didn't lie, especially about their sacred bonds. Never about their fated. Everybody from Terra knew that.
Hell, the Brion generals and their human mates were the closest thing they could get to fairytales back on Terra those days. Real modern love stories, marked with blood and loss and victory. Every woman wanted one of their own.
Naima had never wanted to get one and now that she had, it was everything the stories had promised. All the glory, and all the pain. The price one paid for the promise of eternal love was still too high.
Even vanquishing something that could not die seemed like an easier and more feasible task than believing in love eternal, which was fair on both parties.
12
Braen
The Benevolent sailed through the emptiness of space, surrounded at all sides by magical, undiscovered worlds that no one had ever seen. If you looked hard enough and crossed the borders of the Galactic Union, that was.