Three Letters

by Josephine Cox

  ‘Oh, thank you sir.’ She rammed the money into her apron pocket.

  While Steve went into the adjoining bedroom to see the child, she went over to the bed and shifted Alice into a more comfortable position. Then she sat herself in the chair to wait for Steve’s return.

  Susie was fast asleep. ‘Rest well, sweetheart,’ he murmured. ‘It sounds like you’ve a busy day ahead of you tomorrow, and then it’s home again.’

  Stooping down, he placed a gossamer kiss on Susie’s forehead, tucked her arm under the clothes and drew the bedcover up to her neck. ‘Good night, God bless.’ He stood a moment watching her, thinking how dearly he would have loved to be a father. But since there was no changing Connie’s mind, he had abandoned the possibility of fatherhood.

  Disillusioned, he returned to the other room, where Alice was flaked out. ‘Thank you.’ He could see the older woman was eager to be off. ‘I’m sure she’ll sleep right through till morning.’

  ‘I’m sure she will.’ From her curt statement and the expression on her face as she glanced at Alice’s now prostrate body, she did not approve of anyone drinking themselves into such a state. ‘I’ll be leaving now, but if you want anything at all, just dial zero.’

  ‘Thank you.’ He opened the door and saw her out, then, having checked again on Susie and Alice, he headed off to his own room.

  Once there, he placed his shoes on top of his suitcase and flung his jacket over the sofa. A short time later, he fell into the welcome softness of his bed, where, bone-tired and weary, he was ready for a good night’s sleep, but sleep was elusive. Haunted by his deep longing for children of his own. He could not understand why Connie had no wish to be a mother.

  At 7.30 a.m. the ringing of the bedside telephone shocked him awake.

  Bleary-eyed and disorientated, he took a minute to focus before inching across the bed to grab the receiver. ‘Yes, who is it?’

  ‘Steve? You’re a wicked man. You left me lying on top of the bed,’ Alice playfully chided him. ‘I woke up freezing in the early hours.’

  ‘Sorry, but I didn’t want to wake you. I covered you with the eiderdown, so you must have kicked it off in the night.’ He stifled a yawn.

  ‘Susie is dressed and ready to go down to breakfast, and I’m almost ready. Shall we meet down there?’

  ‘What? Yes, all right, give me fifteen minutes.’

  ‘You sound rough.’

  ‘I feel it.’

  ‘I don’t feel too great myself.’

  ‘Serves you right, knocking back the wine like an old soak.’

  ‘Hmm! You were the one who brought it to me.’

  ‘Ah, yes, but you asked for it. So don’t throw the responsibility on me. If you’re feeling thick-headed, you’ve only yourself to blame. Yes, you go ahead and grab a table, and I’ll see you down there.’

  ‘OK.’ Alice replaced the receiver.

  ‘Oh, jeez!’ Realising he had a busy day ahead he quickly washed and shaved, before collecting a cream-coloured shirt and dark grey suit from the wardrobe.

  A short time later, looking smart and businesslike, he flicked a comb through his thick mop of hair before hurrying out to the lift.

  Alice and Susie were in the dining room.

  ‘Where’ve you been, Uncle Steve?’ Susie greeted him, hands on hips and a look of disapproval on her face. ‘Naughty Uncle Steve. It’s rude to be late.’

  Steve made a sorry face. ‘You’re absolutely right, so now I don’t get a hug, is that it?’

  In an instance she was up and running round the table, and he swung her into his arms, asking sheepishly, ‘Am I forgiven then?’

  Her face broke into a bright smile as she flung her arms round his neck. ‘All right then, but please don’t be late again.’

  He made a smart salute. ‘Yes, ma’am, I’ll make sure I’m on time in future, but right now I’m starving hungry, so can we eat?’

  Susie nodded. ‘Yes, and then while you’re at the meeting, me and Mummy are going to the market. Afterwards you’re going to meet up with us … if the men will let you go in time.’

  ‘Huh! Let them try and stop me, and there’ll be big trouble.’ He gently squashed her nose with the end of his finger. ‘I’ll be there for you and Mummy, come rain or shine.’

  ‘Good!’

  He reached out and gave Alice a peck on the cheek. ‘Oh, dear me,’ he feigned a look of horror, ‘shadows under the eyes; not good!’

  ‘Well, thank you.’ Smiling, she reminded him, ‘You’re not supposed to tell a woman that she’s got shadows under her eyes. Where’s your sense of chivalry?’

  ‘Only joking.’

  ‘It’s a good job I know you.’ She was used to his sense of humour.

  As they walked to the breakfast room, she watched him with Susie. It hurt her to know that if Connie had her way, Steve would never know the joy of being a father.

  Alice took Susie to choose her juices and cereals, while Steve ordered egg, bacon and sausages.

  ‘Would you like toast, sir?’ The waitress was a pretty, auburn-haired girl with a tendency to blink nervously whenever she asked a question, as she did now. ‘Brown bread or white, sir?’

  ‘Well, I’d like brown bread, but I’ve no idea what the others want so maybe we could have a selection?’

  She wrote it all down. ‘Tea or coffee, sir?’

  ‘Again, a pot of each, and a jug of hot milk, please.’

  ‘Thank you, sir.’ Blinking furiously, she hurried off to collect the order.

  Alice saw her leave. ‘Did you remember to order both tea and coffee?’ she asked Steve.

  ‘I did, yes. I also ordered a selection of toast, brown and white.’ He gave a cheeky wink. ‘See! I did remember.’

  ‘I like brown toast, too, Uncle Steve, so can I have one of yours?’ Susie asked politely.

  ‘No, you can’t.’

  ‘Why not?’ She stared at him with big, surprised eyes.

  ‘Because you don’t get anything, unless you use the magic word.’

  Susie tightly closed her eyes to pretend to concentrate. ‘Oh, I remember!’ Opening her eyes, she laughed out loud. ‘Please, Uncle Steve, may I have some of your brown toast?’

  ‘I’ll think about it.’

  ‘Aw!’ She noticed the naughty twinkle in his eye. ‘Uncle Steve, you’re teasing, aren’t you?’

  ‘I’m sorry. You can have as much brown toast as you like. How’s that?’

  ‘Thank you, but I only want two pieces. First, I have to eat my cereals.’ She began tucking into them straight away, leaving Alice and Steve to chat.

  For a while it was Alice who did most of the talking, telling Steve how much she’d enjoyed the trip, and that she was almost certain the outcome of the meeting would be in his favour.

  With Susie headed for the juice table, Steve recalled the sordid events of when that poor woman was snatched from the streets.

  ‘I’m finding it difficult to put it all out of my mind,’ he told Alice now. ‘I hope she’s all right after her ordeal.’

  Alice, too, had been shocked and horrified at the incident. ‘Well, from what you told me about the woman you believed to be her mother, it sounds to me she‘s in safe hands now.’

  Steve nodded. ‘I hope so, because she was in a poor state when I gave her up to the woman.’

  Alice wanted to know, ‘Can you make time to go back and see if she’s OK?’

  Steve had already considered the possibility. ‘I’m not sure. It all depends on what time there is to thrash it out; and don’t forget this is the one and only Saturday meeting ever. According to Edward Mull, the agent, they’ve called this one because of the huge backlog in applications. So, if it goes badly for me today, it could be months before I get another hearing.’

  ‘Don’t even think like that, Steve. Be positive.’

  ‘You know me, I’m always positive, but it’s out of my hands. Either way, I intend keeping my promise to Susie, so I’ll meet you at the market café. Keep your
fingers crossed that I bring good news with me.’

  ‘We will.’

  Steve nodded. ‘Anyway, we’ll have a bite to eat or something, then I’ll need to get you both back here to collect your luggage and catch your train home.’

  Alice asked him, ‘Wouldn’t you rather we stayed here with you, until you’re finished with all the red tape and such, and then we could all go back in the car together?’

  ‘That’s a nice idea, Alice, but I can’t let you do that, especially not with Mike on his way home. He’s expecting you to be there, and besides, I can’t really be sure if I’ll be going back myself, just yet.’

  ‘Why do you say that?’

  ‘Well, if the worst happens and the meeting falls through, I’ll need to consider the other sites on offer; arrange more viewings, talk to people I haven’t already talked to. And even if the meeting goes well, I still have to follow up, what with revisiting the site with the surveyor, and checking with the architect; then tying up all the loose ends.’

  ‘But, either way, you will be at the café today, won’t you? Susie would be so disappointed if you’re not.’

  Susie was horrified, ‘Yes, Uncle Steve,’ she said. ‘I’m going home later, but first, we have to go to the market. That little boy is playing his guitar and Mummy said we can go and see him. You have to come too … say you will, please?’

  Steve promised her, ‘As soon as the meeting is over, I’ll make my way to the café, like I’ve arranged with Mummy. After that, I promise I’ll go with you to see this boy, and I hope he’s worth the effort.’

  A short time later, breakfast eaten, they returned to their respective rooms to prepare for the day ahead.

  Susie was cleaning her teeth, when Steve knocked on the door. When Alice called him inside, he popped his head round. ‘Is there anything you want before I go – money, or anything?’

  Alice told him, ‘No, thanks all the same. I haven’t even spent the money you forced on us earlier.’ She glanced at her watch. ‘You’d best be on your way,’ she reminded him. ‘You have to see the agent before the meeting, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes, and then we’ll make our way to the council offices together.’ He paused, a sense of anxiety creeping over him. ‘To tell you the truth, Alice, I’ve never been so nervous in all my life.’

  ‘Ah, go on with you!’ Alice sought to reassure him. ‘You’ve thought about this for too long to let nerves get in the way at this late stage. You’ve done your homework, Steve. You’ve chased every loophole, and now it’s up to them. But it will be all right. I’ve got a good feeling about it, and even if it doesn’t go in your favour, you won’t give up, I know you too well for that.’

  Coming into the room, he gave her a hug. ‘You’re the best sister-in-law in the world,’ he told her, and when Susie poked her head round the bathroom door, her mouth frothing with toothpaste, he gave a little scream. ‘Oh my God! A monster … HELP!’

  Susie fell about laughing, until Alice reminded her, ‘Time’s flying by, sweetheart. Hurry up … that is, if you want to spend time wandering about the market.’ Susie quickly disappeared, calling back in muffled tones, ‘Good luck, Uncle Steve. We’ll wait at the café for you.’

  Susie’s comment reminded Steve. ‘What with so much to think about, I’m not altogether sure exactly where this café is that you spoke about … Can you just run it by me again?’

  ‘It’s opposite the market. Betty’s Place, it’s called. Susie and I will be waiting there at twelve o’clock. Look, Steve, just ask anybody to direct you to the market clock. You can’t really miss it, because it stands head and shoulders above the stalls, oh, and it’s the most wonderful thing. I’m told that people have their photographs taken against it. Sweethearts meet under it, and the stallholders set their watches by it. You can see the café from there.’

  Steve was impressed. ‘Well, even if I don’t see anything else, I must take a look at this clock.’

  ‘You won’t be sorry, I promise,’ Alice told him.

  With the arrangements clarified, Steve was quickly on his way, leaving Alice and Susie to sort out their clothes and pack them into the suitcases.

  They then took the suitcases down to the concierge desk, where Alice arranged for them to be picked up later.

  After checking out at the desk, they walked the short distance to the bus stop and caught the bus to Blackburn.

  ‘I’m glad we’re going to see the boy again.’ Susie was excited as they climbed onto the bus.

  After sitting Susie on the inside seat, Alice sat down next to her and lapsed into deep thought about Steve’s situation at home. It didn’t look too good, she thought sadly.

  Beside her, Susie chattered on, with Alice only half aware of what she was saying until Susie’s anxious voice penetrated her thoughts: ‘Mummy, you’re not listening.’

  ‘Sorry, sweetheart?’ She was used to switching on and off as Susie chattered about this and that; all of which she had heard before. ‘What’s on your mind?’

  ‘Do you think the boy really is going to play his guitar, Mummy?’

  ‘Well, I don’t know for sure. It wasn’t me who overheard the conversation between the old man and the boy. I only know what you told me,’ she smiled, ‘before I managed to drag you away.’

  ‘I know, and I already told you,’ Susie rolled her eyes, ‘the man said he wanted the boy to come to his stall on the market and play his guitar. He said Saturday, and it’s Saturday now, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes, well, it was when I got up this morning.’

  ‘So, that means the boy will play his guitar today, doesn’t it, Mummy?’ She needed reassurance.

  ‘Well, that’s right, but to be honest, sweetheart, I wouldn’t count on it. Sometimes, people say things and they don’t always mean them, or something happens and they can’t do what they said they would.’

  ‘But the boy was really excited.’

  ‘I’m sure he was.’ Reaching out, Alice stroked a stray hair from the child’s forehead. ‘Look, I know how much you want to hear the boy play his guitar, but I don’t want you to be disappointed, that’s all.’

  ‘I won’t be disappointed, Mummy.’ There was the slightest tremor in her voice. ‘Because he told the old man he would, and I know he will. I just know it!’

  When Alice turned to look at her, she saw how Susie had turned her face to the window, gazing out with a solemn face.

  Instead of talking to her again, she tenderly slid her fingers over the girl’s hand. Susie smiled up at her, and they continued their journey in silence, each occupied with her own thoughts.

  Alice gave a satisfied little smile as she thought of Mike and how she would be seeing him very soon.

  Mike was the love of her life. Every time he went away, she felt so incredibly lonely, which was why she and Susie had accompanied Steve on this trip.

  As the bus bumbled along and Susie was lost in the sights and sounds, Alice turned her own thoughts to Steve’s impossible situation.

  How much longer would he be able to put up with Connie’s extravagant and selfish ways? Also, if Connie was adamant about not having children, why hadn’t she told him before he put a ring on her finger?

  To Alice’s mind, that would have been the right thing to do.

  But, having learned a thing or two about Connie over the past few years, she could easily believe that Connie had her own personal agenda in marrying Steve.

  After all, he was a good catch; with a successful career; money in the bank, and ambitions that, if realised, could bring him security for life.

  PART FIVE

  Suspicions

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  ‘FOR PITY’S SAKE, yer like a cat on hot bricks, Casey. Come away from that window. Patrick won’t turn up any quicker with you looking out the window every two minutes!’ Though Bob, also, was impatient for the familiar sound of Patrick’s wagon rolling over the cobbles.

  ‘What if he doesn’t come, Granddad?’ Casey took another peek out the windo
w. ‘What if he doesn’t have a market stall today? What if I don’t get to play my guitar for the people?’

  Granddad Bob gave a huge sigh. ‘You’ll get to play your guitar for the people, even if I’ve to sit yer on me shoulders!’

  ‘It won’t be the same, though, will it? Not without Patrick there.’

  ‘Don’t worry, Patrick will be ’ere soon enough. Meantime, be a good lad an’ fetch yer granddad’s baccy from the sideboard.’

  Casey ran off to fetch his baccy. ‘Are you sure Patrick will turn up, Granddad?’ He gave him the roll of baccy.

  ‘Yes, lad. He’ll not let us down, believe me.’

  ‘Huh! Never trust a man who sleeps in his socks!’ That was Dolly, bringing refreshments.

  ‘Hey!’ The old fella wagged a finger at her. ‘Yer not supposed to broadcast my personal habits like that.’

  ‘Why not?’ Resting the tray on the arm of the settee, she slid the two cups of tea onto the side table. ‘It’s true, isn’t it, you do sleep with your socks on, or you did, until I told you it weren’t the civilised thing to do. At least, not for a particular man like yourself.’

  She handed Casey a glass of fresh orange juice, while rolling her eyes in frustration as the old fella complained, ‘It might be civilised, an’ it might not, but it’s certainly not the sort o’ thing to bandy about, is it?’ Feeling shame-faced in front of a woman was a whole new experience for him.

  ‘Why not?’ Dolly had learned how to tease him. ‘If you reckon it’s perfectly acceptable to sleep with your socks on, where’s the harm in admitting it?’

  ‘Well, I don’t know for sure, but it doesn’t feel right, that’s what I’m saying. I mean … a thing like that is one’s own personal business, not for broadcasting to all an’ sundry.’

  ‘It’s all right, Granddad,’ Casey assured him, ‘I already knew.’ He glanced up at Dolly. ‘He never used to take his socks off ever. Until you came to live with us.’

  He now relayed a certain scene that he’d overheard between his father and his granddad. ‘When Granddad’s socks got really smelly, Dad used to tell him off. One day they had a little argument, and Daddy told him if he didn’t wash his socks, his feet would rot …’ he had to think hard to recall the exact words, ‘… right through to the bone. That’s what he said.’