Popped

by Elizabeth Stevens

  “That doesn’t answer my question.”

  I sighed. “No. Not that it’s your business. But no. Paige and I aren’t…fuck buddies.” Not literally, so I wasn’t actually lying to him.

  “But you want to be.”

  Jesus! I know I signed on to help him the whole growing up thing, but fucking hell. “Who I want to…” I cleared my throat. “What happens between me and Paige is my business. Okay? You don’t need to be involved.”

  “Why does it matter?” he asked.

  “Because…it’s difficult to explain.” I saw his frown deepen and hurried to appease his annoyance. “Not because you’re too young or any of the I’ll tell you when you’re older bullshit. It’s just a situation that’s hard to explain.”

  “Mum says if it’s hard to explain then–”

  “I know what Mum says!” I snapped, then instantly regretted it. “Sorry, Leo. Look, no one’s lying to themselves or anyone else. I’m eighteen. I don’t know what I want. I just gotta take one day at a time and see where I end up.”

  “But what about–?”

  I shook my head. “Mum believes in that crap. And if you want to, then you do you. But true love doesn’t exist, Leo. Hell, I’m not really convinced the knock-off version even exists.” I shrugged, feeling bad about obviously making him sad but also not willing to lie to him. “Maybe one day, someone’ll come along and sweep me off my feet and prove me wrong. But as of right now, all I know is love…” makes you weak. But I wasn’t going to say that to him. “Love’s not for me, mate. And that’s fine.”

  Leo’s frown was one of concentration now as he nodded. “Yeah. Okay. But it can be for me, right? Like it was for Mum and Dad?”

  I nodded and tried to make myself believe my words for his sake. “Of course, it can. That’s a belief only you get to make for you.”

  Leo smiled now and I felt like the weight of a hundred worlds lifted off me. I hated letting him down. I knew I had hang ups, but I also knew they served a purpose. A purpose I had to remember as soon as I saw Paige at Freya’s party less than an hour later.

  Because she didn’t just look gorgeous, she gave me this huge smile and practically skipped over to me as soon as she saw me.

  “I half-expected you’d pike out,” she teased and I couldn’t help but smile, all my uneasiness suddenly gone.

  “Nah. Just take far too long to get ready.”

  “Well, you do all look lovely.”

  “Not half as lovely as you,” Rufio said.

  He wasn’t wrong, but him saying it annoyed me as much as her responding smile did. I knew he was trying to rile me up and we both knew it was working.

  “Don’t you think she looks nice, Sebastian?” Jendo asked, nudging me with his elbow nice and obviously.

  “Yes, Jean. She looks amazing,” I replied through clenched teeth.

  “Don’t tell us. Tell her.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You look great,” I told her.

  She laughed and took my hand as she made to pull me through the people, some of whom I recognised and some I didn’t. “Thank you, all of you. Although, you want to save your praise for the girls. They’re feeling mighty lonely tonight.”

  “I’m sure the boys would be perfectly happy to help with that,” I said.

  She threw me a knowing smirk over her shoulder.

  “Boys. We made it,” Georgie cried when she saw us.

  “Hi!” Mia yelled with a wave.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Rufio wave back enthusiastically and fought to hide my own smirk.

  “Here’s trouble,” Jendo whispered to me and I coughed to hide my laugh.

  “How are we, ladies?” I asked as Paige came to a stop beside them.

  “Good,” Georgie answered. “Better now Paige will relax and stop watching the door.”

  “I wasn’t…” Paige started, then grinned at her friends.

  Georgie didn’t say anything more about it, just turned her mischievous grin to us and asked, “Drinks, boys?”

  “Yes!” Rufio answered excitedly while Jendo’s was a slightly more dignified response in the affirmative.

  “Excellent.” Georgie nodded. “The bar is that-a way. I’ll have a vodka coke, Mia’s on Cruisers and Paige’ll have the James Squire on tap.”

  “On it,” Rufio said with a nod and he and Jendo started for the bar.

  But I looked at Paige. “Beer?” I asked her.

  She grinned cheekily and nodded.

  But I knew where this was going; I knew her better now. “This is one of those times I don’t make the same mistake,” I said and she nodded again.

  “Yep.” That face was completely fall-worthy.

  I bit my lip against a smile and nodded. “And the girl likes beer.”

  “The girl likes beer,” Georgie affirmed.

  “Damn it, princess. And here I already thought you were perfect.”

  Paige looked down and I just caught sight of the added flush to her already slightly pink cheeks. But then Georgie caught my attention.

  “You practise those lines in the mirror, Casanova?” she asked with a wry smile.

  I shrugged. “I’m just naturally that charming.”

  Georgie looked me over with the scrutiny of a best friend. “Good for you.’’ She nodded. “Good for you.”

  “How’s Leo?” Paige asked, obviously trying to change the subject.

  I huffed a laugh as I thought about my little brother. “He’s…great.”

  “Annoying the ever-loving shit out of you?” Georgie asked.

  “You’ve got a little brother?”

  She shrugged. “Three.”

  I couldn’t even begin to imagine that. “Ouch. My sincere condolences.”

  “Thanks.”

  Once the boys got back with drinks, we hung out for a while until the girls’ jam came on and they disappeared to go and dance. And somehow Rufio and I found ourselves getting some of Jendo’s sage advice.

  “I’m telling you, they love it,” Jendo said.

  “And have you tried this in real life, or…?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Well, no. But like every single book has it in it.”

  “Slamming them against the wall?”

  “In a fit of sexual passion,” Jendo clarified. “Domestic violence has a slightly less sexy ring to it.”

  I nodded. “That it does.”

  “I’m still confused as to why,” Rufio said.

  “Something about dominance,” Jendo explained.

  I scrubbed my hand over my face. “They want dominance by being thrown against a wall?”

  “No. They want to be dominated.”

  “But I thought they were all for equality?”

  “It’s some secret sex kink.”

  “It doesn’t sound like a secret,” Rufio said.

  I shook my head. “I’m still confused.”

  “Right, hear me out,” Jendo said. “My going theory is it’s a turn on because the act of you throwing them against the wall shows they make you lose control. And that’s sexy.”

  I frowned. “Right. So, us dominating them in bed – or otherwise – equals a loss of control which equals sexy?”

  “That’s my theory.”

  “And what’s so special about our control?” Rufio asked.

  “We’re not supposed to lose it because we’re all very uptight and well-used to this shit. But she’s special, so it’s different.”

  “Mate,” I sighed. “Are you confusing real life and fantasy again?”

  “Dude, why would so many books have it and so many people read it if it wasn’t true?” Jendo asked.

  “I read graphic novels, does not mean I wish our world was plagued by superheroes fighting supervillains and alien threats every other week.”

  Rufio pointed at me. “That.”

  Jendo sighed. “You wanted advice, I have it. Do with it what you will.”

 
I snorted. “No one wanted your advice, Jean.”

  “Shut up, Sebastian.”

  Chapter 16: Paige

  Bash had barely left my side the whole time at Freya’s eighteenth. The pub had been noisy and full, not just with what was probably its usual patrons but also a bunch of high schoolers – some of whom weren’t quite legal but no one seemed to get carded.

  It had been good spending some more time with a boisterous and lovable Rufio and a usually dour Jendo. The boys seemed to get on well with Georgie and Mia. Jendo and Georgie had had a very serious discussion about something I hadn’t caught the words for, and Mia and Rufio had had a drinking competition, which somewhat surprisingly Mia had won.

  I’d spent most of Sunday texting random shit to Bash, and we’d studied next to each other in the Common Room in our free the day before, then gone our separate ways for the rest of the day.

  And I’d got rather more studying done next to Bash than I was getting next to Georgie. Mainly because we were distracted by formal preparations and I still had to finalise my bit for Chapel.

  “Have I already done the spiel about just doing your best?” I asked her.

  “No. We’re saving that for Muck Up Day, remember?”

  I sighed. “Right. Okay, how about we do–”

  “How about you stop worrying – because it’s always great and everyone thinks you’re wonderful no matter what you blither at them once a week – and you reassure me that my formal dress isn’t going to make me look like a slut.”

  I shrugged. “Who cares what other people think. You look ah-mazing in it!”

  “Okay, but do you think I look like a slut in it?”

  “But like a cute slut.”

  “Bitch!” she laughed, elbowing me and I laughed with her.

  “What? You do look cute!”

  All she could do for a while was try to stem her laughter, but she finally managed to ask, “You chosen a date yet?”

  I blinked. “For what?”

  “The formal, duh.”

  I paused in everything I was doing and I wasn’t quite sure why I was so confused by the question.

  “I mean,” she continued. “I guess we said you had until the formal. So technically you could go with Bash. But how dramatic is that going to be? Dumping him at the formal?” She paused. “It would be perfectly humiliating, but we don’t want to ruin your night.”

  I couldn’t answer her. I didn’t have any answers. I couldn’t think of any. It was like my brain had frozen.

  “We could go stag. But I think Mia’s thinking of going with Eddie. Hey, would it be weird if I went with Hen?”

  “Hen?” I heard myself ask through the sudden fog in my head.

  “Yeah. That guy from Bash’s friend’s party. I mean, you guys will have broken up, so if it’d be weird, just say so and I won’t ask him.”

  I cleared my throat. “No. No it wouldn’t be weird.”

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Yeah. Of course.”

  “When are you going to dump him?”

  “Who?”

  “Bash,” she laughed. “Where are you?”

  I nodded. “Uh. No. Here. Sorry.” I pulled myself together. “I don’t know. I don’t think he’s actually fallen in love with me yet,” I told her, sounding a bit more like my usual self.

  “Yeah? I find that hard to believe.”

  “He’s close, though.”

  “That sounds more like it. So, you reckon you’ll do it next week?”

  I coughed awkwardly. “Sure.”

  “You sure you’re okay?” Georgie looked up at me. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”

  “What?” I asked indignantly. “No!”

  “You sure you haven’t fallen for the ruse, babes?”

  I shook my head and looked at the book in my hand. “Of course, not. Bash Baker is just like all those other jerks and, when I know he’s totally smitten, I’ll show them all how it feels.”

  “Good. For a minute there I thought you were stalling because you liked him.”

  I laughed. “No.”

  “It’d be okay if you did, you know.”

  I scoffed. “Duh. I know it would. But I don’t, so it’s fine.”

  “Okay. Good.”

  “Good.”

  “‘Cos I mean, he’s gorgeous and attentive and has been treating you like a queen. So, if you wanted to – you know – break the wager. That’d be okay. Mia probably won’t even make you kiss Arthur. After all, the actual wager was getting him to fall for you… So, you don’t even need to break up with him to win. Not really.”

  “The wager was to pop his ego. And just making him fall in love with me isn’t going to do that,” I reminded her.

  “Okay. I just thought I’d give you an out.”

  “I don’t need an out. It’s all going to plan.”

  “Great.”

  “Great.”

  But was it all going to plan? Because if it was all going to plan, I wouldn’t feel all weird about breaking up with him, would I? So, I was starting to think maybe it wasn’t going to plan. I wasn’t about to tank the wager, but there was something about the impending ego-popping that I wanted to put off.

  It didn’t mean I was in love with Bash or anything. It just meant I was a decent human being who was feeling a bit of trepidation about shitting all over someone I’d come to know. That was totally natural. It didn’t mean it didn’t need to be done, it just meant I was still a good person.

  I got over whatever weirdness my conversation with Georgie had caused and, by Chapel, my speech was as excellent as usual, I gave the notices, and we all went to lunch the same way we always did.

  “Paige!” I heard and looked around to see Leo waving at me.

  I stopped and let him catch up to me. “Hey.”

  “How’s things?” he asked.

  I nodded. “Good. How about you?”

  He nodded, too. “Good. Sorry Bash had to come home last week.”

  I smiled. “No worries. Your mum couldn’t help it.”

  “If it makes it better, he couldn’t stop smiling all night.”

  Georgie nudged me and I nudged her right back in the hopes she’d shut up. “Is that right?”

  Leo nodded vigorously. “He said on Saturday he thinks you’re nice.”

  I couldn’t stop myself grinning. “Really?”

  Leo smiled. “Really.”

  “Is this one of those things he’d deny?”

  Leo nodded even more vigorously. “He’s in total denial about you.”

  My eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a second. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re saying Bash is totally in love with her, aren’t you?” Georgie pressed him.

  Leo’s smile was all-knowing. “Totally.”

  “Oi!” Bash called as he was walking toward us. “What business have you here, squire?” he asked Leo.

  Leo guffawed, shook his head and ran off.

  “What did the little dweeb say now?” he sighed.

  I looked down to hide my giggle and heard Georgie say, “He’s dobbed you right in it, Casanova.”

  “What?” Bash said, sounding rather panicked.

  “He said you’re totally in love with Paige.”

  I looked up through my eyelashes just in time to catch his look of concern before he hid it behind his self-confident mask. “Well, could you blame me if I was?” he asked, threw me a wink, then was lost in the sea of students.

  “See. You’ve got him. Now all you need to do is dump him,” Georgie said, shaking me gently.

  I nodded, but I couldn’t bring myself to agree with her out loud.

  “I mean… We made plans for Friday…” I said lamely.

  I felt Georgie shrug. “Okay. Next week it is then.”

  I nodded. “Sure. Next week.”

  My eyes searched for Bash, but I didn’t find him until w
e got back to the Common Room and, even then, I played coy to avoid him.

  We hadn’t made plans. I was quite obviously avoiding ending things. I knew I should just get it over with. Rip it off like a band-aid. But I wasn’t quite ready yet.

  So, I messaged him when I got home and ensured we made plans so no one could call me a liar. Which was fortunate because, Mum asked me about the weekend almost as soon as she walked in the door.

  “What?” I asked.

  “What?” Mum mocked good-naturedly. “You mean, pardon?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Gran. Pardon?”

  “I asked whether you and Chatty Cathy had plans on the weekend?” she asked as she made herself a cup of tea.

  “Yeah, we’re going out Friday.”

  “Sound more excited, why don’t you?”

  I looked up at her. “What?”

  She glared at me and I sighed.

  “Pardon?”

  She smirked cheekily and I huffed.

  “You don’t seem excited about the Friday plans.”

  I shrugged. “They’re just plans.”

  “Things seem to be going well with him.”

  I jumped guiltily – which was a bad plan in front of a lawyer – and failed to cover with another shrug. “They’re okay.”

  Mum leant across the kitchen island and looked at me. “Paige.”

  I sighed. “Ye-es?” I asked.

  “Do you or do you not like this guy?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Mum shrugged as she leant back again and settled into a more comfortable position. “I just mean that you’ve seen him a lot–”

  “So?”

  Mum smirked like she knew something, only I didn’t know what it was. “I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. I’m just making an observation. It’s different. I’ve never known you to see a boy this often.”

  I wriggled uncomfortably. “And?”

  “Well, I assume that means it’s going well? Maybe it might get serious?”

  I huffed. “No.”

  “No, it’s not going well? Or no, it won’t get serious?”

  “It’s going fine, I guess.”

  Mum sighed. “I know what this is about.”

  “You think you know what this is about.”

  “Paige, I get that it’s hard to get over your first heartbreak, but you can’t let one arsehole stop you from living your life.”