Keep It Safe

by Olivia Snow

  “That right there.” He pointed, standing up as he glared at me. “If you need me because you want to fuck for the sake of fucking, then fine, but don’t use me to cover up some emotion you’re not able to handle.”

  I gasped, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. My chest was cold and my hands stiffened.

  “Shit.” Max rushed to my side, then kneeled in front of me and held my face in his hands as he coached me. “In and out, baby, in and out.” Under his instructions I was able to fill my lungs with air.

  Damn, panic attack. I had to tell the doc about this.

  “Does that happen often?” His face was full of concern and I’m not sure if it was for me or because I was a hazard to his son. If he only knew how deep my issues went.

  “I haven’t had one since…since my father died,” I gasped, unsure if I said that to him or to myself, but as soon as the words came out my mouth I regretted them. A mixture of sorrow and understanding flashed through his eyes before he stood and tugged on my hand.

  “Come on, Peaches, let’s shower.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Ava

  Max washed me in the shower and as much as I wanted to have sex to forget everything that had just happened, he wouldn’t allow it. I laughed as he awkwardly tried to wash the enormous amount of hair on my head. After the shower, we laid in my bed naked.

  “What was your father’s name?” he asked after a long silence. In the darkness of my room and in his arms, I felt protected, comforted by the fact that he couldn’t see my reaction and I couldn’t see his face.

  “Tomas.” I cleared my throat, whispering his name.

  “What’s your mother’s?”

  “Rose, Roseanne.” I drew small circles around the hair on his chest. “And yours?”

  “My mother’s name is Claire and I never met my father. I was raised by my mother and grandmother, Joyce.”

  I nodded. “What’s Aidan’s mom’s name?”

  Max stiffened a little beside me. “Gwen, Gwendolyn.”

  “That’s a very pretty name.” I hated to say it, but it was true.

  “I thought so once.”

  “But you don’t anymore?” I gently pulled on his hair making him hiss a little.

  “No, not anymore.”

  “You’re not going to elaborate?”

  “Do you want me to?” He grunted. I looked up and rested my chin on his chest.

  “Only if you want to,” I whispered.

  He licked his lips before bringing my face to his, then placed a gentle kiss on my mouth. I thought it would be a sweet quick kiss, but it quickly turned into something deeper and not so sweet. Suddenly, I was on my back as Max nudged my legs apart with his knees, his erection digging into me. I gasped.

  “Are we fucking for the sake of fucking?” I asked breathlessly.

  “No, we’re fucking because you’re an addiction and I’m aching for you.” He moved down to kiss the valley between my breasts, gently biting where he’d left the mark on my cleavage.

  Taking my nipple into his mouth, he assaulted my peak, driving me completely out my mind. I moaned in return, feeling his chest rising faster against my mine. “I can’t lay here naked in bed with you while all I want to do is feel you around my cock. I spend all day thinking about the little sounds you make while I’m inside of you.” Jesus. “I can’t get enough of you.”

  “Believe me, I know the feeling.” I felt his smile against my breast, and a giggle bubbled out of me.

  “I love that.” He moved down my stomach.

  “Don’t start with all that—oh, fuck, oh Max!” My initial thoughts were blown away as he used that magic tongue of his on my clit. He sucked and pulled on me, his groan matched with an incoherent meow-type moan from me.

  “Mine.” He growled, inserting two fingers inside of me while he worked his mouth on my wet folds. He pumped his fingers leisurely; I was already climbing and he knew it, he took my clit in his mouth once again and I screamed his name as I came.

  Max kissed me one more time he made his way up my thigh to my shoulder in tiny wet kisses. Moving to his side, Max pressed my back to his chest, lifting my leg with his hand on my thigh. I raised myself a little so he was able to reach around me with his other hand, and he grasped my breast.

  “You have me under your spell, Ava.” He kneaded my breast, edging his cock to my entrance.

  “Oh, Max.” I moaned.

  “Tell me, what do you want?”

  “You. I want all of you, baby,” I whispered, my mind obscured with a lustful haze. Max groaned in my ear as he slowly filled me with himself while I dug my fingers into his forearm. “Gesù Cristo, oh, Max. It’s…it’s too much sometimes.”

  “It is?” He tensed behind me, stopping his movements.

  “No, no, it’s good, it’s sooooo fucking good.” I moved against him, begging him to continue.

  “Yeah, it fucking is.” He picked up his movements; already I was feeling my next orgasm approaching.

  With the sounds of our bodies coming together, the darkness of my room, his smell, his mouth, and just having him next to me, I was ready to lose it. I tightened around him and let my body take control. Max groaned and growled; when he moaned my name out loud, it was my undoing and his. After ten minutes of catching our breaths, and Max kissing my neck sweetly and telling me how crazy he was about me, he stilled and turned me to face him.

  “You speak Italian.” It wasn’t a question, it was more like he was marking something off a list—the Things to Know About Ava list.

  I nodded.

  “You still want to know?” he asked, tugging my hair behind my ear.

  “Yes.”

  Letting out a heavy breath, he continued. “We met freshman year in college. She was sweet and innocent, one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen. Soon after meeting we started dating. In the beginning we discussed our plans and goals for the future. I wanted to move to New York and start an internship for one of the most prestigious architecture firms in the country and she wanted to pursue a career in medicine, pediatrics to be exact.”

  He grunted, then continued. “She said she loved children. Anyway, we were together for the entire four years of college. I always told her marriage was never in the cards for me, or children, and she said she understood and that she wanted the same things. I thought I’d hit the jackpot. But then, during our senior year, she started making comments about her friends getting married or getting engaged. I thought it was only natural, you know, and that she might be jealous. I never expected her to start pressuring me into getting married. When I told her I wasn’t going to change my mind, she conveniently became pregnant.”

  “What?” I asked, shocked.

  “Yeah, she said she was taking antibiotics for something and it caused the birth control to stop working.”

  “Yeah, I’ve heard that can happen.”

  “So did I, but Gwen…she’s the type of person to research when it came to anything she was putting in her body. I found it very strange that after constantly asking me if I would change my mind, she got pregnant, supposedly not knowing how her medications would counteract her birth control.”

  “So, you think she trapped you?”

  “I’m not sure, I can never know that one hundred percent.”

  “What happened next?” The fact that I wanted to know more about him surprised me.

  “We did end up getting married. I wasn’t going to be like my father and abandon my pregnant girlfriend and unborn child.” His voice was hard, but his touch was gentle when he ran his fingers down the length of my arm.

  “And…why isn’t she here, and not me?” My voice dropped to a husky tone as he grazed my nipple with his thumb.

  “Because she left me for a photographer. The life she dreamt about wasn’t the life she wanted. After Aidan’s first birthday, she met Zach and decided jumping from country to country was better than staying in Denver with her baby and husband.” Max lowered his hand down to my ass and
squeezed. “No more talking, please.”

  “Mmmm, whatever you say professor.”

  ***

  I woke later that morning to the smell of fresh coffee and bacon. Vanessa couldn’t even put milk in a cereal bowl without causing a disaster, so I knew it was Max. The absence of his warm body next to mine made me miss him.

  Not good, we need distance. Jumping off my bed, I grabbed some boy shorts from my dresser drawer and an oversized Broncos t-shirt I used to sleep in.

  Maxwell was standing over the stove flipping bacon strips in nothing but his jeans from last night. A wide-eyed and flustered Vanessa was sitting across from him at the bar with a massive mug of coffee in her hands.

  “Good morning,” he said over his shoulder as I approached them.

  “And what a good morning it is.” Vanessa smiled mischievously.

  Yes, I know my man’s hot. I playfully scowled at her and she giggled, taking a sip of her coffee.

  “Hi,” I whispered.

  “Hi,” he repeated, stepping closer to me. When I stepped back, he added, “What now?” He seemed irritated.

  “I don’t do the whole PDA thing.” I reached to grab a mug from the cupboard.

  “Well, tough shit, because I do.” He growled, tightening the loose fabric of my shirt around his hand before he slammed me to him, forcing his tongue inside of me. And I let him, because who the fuck wouldn’t?

  “Oh, my.” We heard Vanessa’s soft voice. Breaking our kiss, I glared at my cousin. “All right, all right, I’ll leave,” she said. “Nice meeting you, Maxwell.” She jumped off the stool.

  “You too, Vanessa.” Once she had left, Max gripped my hips and placed me on the kitchen counter. “Now, where were we?” He shifted his hands from my hips to the inside of my shirt.

  Oh, my, indeed.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Ava

  Four weeks had passed since the beginning of our relationship, but something seemed wrong to me. We weren’t pretending and there was nothing disingenuous about how we felt about each other. I wondered if the sensation of unease was simply because I had never been this happy with someone before.

  Being with Max was frustration and pleasure all wrapped into one with a ribbon of sweetness to make it pretty. He pushed my buttons and I pushed his, and the sex was nothing like I’d ever experienced.

  We had a little routine during the day. I would focus solely on Aidan, then around lunch we would eat together depending on how busy he was. After he got home from work I would cook dinner and either stay for a quick bite or head off to work for my shift at Blush, depending on the day of the week.

  If I wasn’t too tired afterward, I would sneak into his house and wake him up. He loved it, especially when I woke him up with my mouth.

  My days off from Blush were usually Wednesdays and Sundays, so when Wednesday came around and Dr. Parker had called to see if I wanted to have dinner with him, I jumped at the thought. I hadn’t seen him in days, what with Aidan, working at Blush, and now my preoccupation with Max. While man-cub washed his hands for dinner, Max came up behind me as I finished whipping the potatoes I had made for dinner.

  “He’s going to catch us if you keep this up.” I smiled when he pressed his lips against my neck.

  “Mmmm, I can’t wait to have you in my bed later tonight.” I squealed as he nipped my earlobe.

  He chuckled, pulling back as my phone vibrated in my back pocket. With one hand still on the spatula, I angled my body, reaching behind me to take my phone out of my pocket with my free hand. I held it up, seeing Charles flash on the screen with his picture in the background. I silenced it, tucking it back into my pocket.

  “Why didn’t you answer?” His tone was harsh; I felt his body heat pull back before he actually did.

  “I’m working, he’ll leave a message.” I turned back to my potatoes.

  “So. He’s a friend, right?”

  “Why are you ‘air quoting’ friend?” I frowned, moving the bowl from the counter to the table. “You don’t believe me?”

  “I don’t like that he calls you so much.”

  “Too bad.” I rolled my eyes as Aidan walked in.

  “Ready! I’m rumbling in my tumbling.” He jumped up on his designated chair, clasping his hands on top of the table and waiting patiently for the food. I placed the serving platter with chicken fried steak and the last bowl of steamed veggies on the table.

  “All right, buddy. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” I patted his head, and he grinned up at me with a mouth full of potatoes.

  “You’re not staying for dinner?” Max appeared hurt and confused.

  “No, sir, I already have dinner plans. See you tomorrow.” I grabbed my things, quickly slipping out of the house before he could say anything else. Outside, I took in a breath of fresh air, then released it. I had escaped unscathed.

  Almost.

  “Ava.” He called out from midway down the sidewalk. I already had my hand on the mammoth door handle of my SUV. “Do you really have dinner plans or is this just a cop-out?” Frustrated, I groaned, resting my forehead on the car window. “Yes, Maxwell, I actually have plans.”

  “Who is this Charles? He seems important to you.”

  “He is.” I turned to face him. Maxwell frowned, clearly disliking my answer. “But not in the way you’re thinking,” I added.

  “Then tell me…in what way.” He crossed his arms over his chest in obvious irritation.

  “No, Max, I’m sorry. I’m not telling you.”

  With a growl, he pushed his hands through his hair and inhaled sharply. “You know, I’m getting real sick of this whole ‘I’m an island’ bullshit. It’s like pulling teeth with you. You push me back and then you pull me back in. Make up your godda—”

  “He’s my therapist!” I yelled, snapping my mouth shut instantly. Shit, crap. Jesus, nicely done Ava, great time to start having diarrhea of the mouth.

  “Oh.” The expression on his face showed me he hadn’t expected that answer.

  “Yeah, I’m not a fan of advertising it.”

  “Ava, I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting you to say he was your therapist.” He stepped closer, placing his hands on my hips.

  “You’re not freaked out?” I wrapped my arms around his neck. Everything with him felt like water; it was easy and fluid. We moved and worked well together. It was getting harder and harder not to see a potential future with him.

  He shook his head. “No, not freaked out at all. I saw a therapist when Gwen got pregnant. When your back hurts, you seek a chiropractor, when you’re ill you see a doctor. When your mind needs a little help, you call a therapist. Does he know about us?”

  “No.”

  Max dropped his hold on me and stepped back, frustration in his eyes once again. “Why not?”

  “Because it’s…it’s complicated, all right?”

  “Well, fucking un-complicate it, then. Christ, Ava.” I could feel he was pulling back, not just physically; I could see the wall building in his eyes as he blocked me out. As often as I did it to people, being on the receiving end did something to my chest—especially when he was doing it. I gripped his shirt and barreled him to me.

  “Time, baby, just give me some time. Okay?”

  His face fell, and I hoped he could see the sincerity in my eyes. Max placed his forehead on mine and we stood that way for a couple of minutes before he exhaled deeply.

  “Okay, babe.” He gently cradled my face in his hands, placing a wet kiss on my lips. “Call me when you’re in bed.”

  I chuckled. “Why?”

  “Just do it.” He kissed me again.

  “Fine,” I said against his lips.

  “Enjoy your dinner, Peaches.” He grinned, then swatted my butt.

  ***

  “What is it that you’re not telling me?”

  I sat across the doctor in our favorite diner midway between Vail and Denver. It was family-owned, old and dingy; we loved it. With a mouthful of cherry pie, I shrugge
d.

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Ava.”

  “No, Doc, don’t give me that paternal tone and that damn look.” I made little air circles with my fork in his direction.

  “Can you for once just talk without the constant back and forth?”

  “You too, huh?” I grumbled, taking another bite of my pie. Fucking men. Always wanting to talk. It seemed I’d heard somewhere that it was supposed to be the other way around, but in my experience—nope.

  “Ava…”

  “Fine, but it’s your fault really.”

  “What is?” He frowned, placing his elbows on the table and clasping his hands.

  “Aidan’s dad, he and I are…uh…we’re dating. And I’m working at a bar at night…as a…a bartender.” It seemed like a weight had been lifted. Now, fear set in.

  “What do you mean by dating?”

  Just like a father might, all he heard was the part about Max and not my foolish decision to be around alcohol all the time.

  He spoke as if he’d read my mind. “One issue at a time.”

  Aw, fuck. Out loud, I clarified, “We’re in a relationship.”

  “He’s, what? Ten years your senior? And he’s still married—”

  “Separated, for years.”

  He ignored my last comment. “What do you have in common, Ava—what besides sex do you have in common?”

  “We don’t judge people.”

  “I’m not judging you.”

  “Oh, no?”

  “No, I’m concerned. Concerned that you’re jumping into another relationship out of dependence. Going from one addiction to another.”

  “For the last time. I’m. Not. Addicted. To. Sex!” The other patrons in the diner looked over and a couple with their two children glared at me, but I didn’t care at this point. “How many times do I have to tell you? Yes, we are having a lot of sex but that’s because he’s hot and makes me come like crazy, okay? Happy? I’ve managed to gross you and myself out at the same time.” I pushed my empty aluminum pie container to the side.