The Healer Series: The Complete Set, Books 1-4

by C. J. Anaya

  A day before Musubi’s return, Katsu made his usual visit to her home with some surprising information to share.

  Musubi and Katsu were gods, chosen to perform specific tasks in this world, never to have soul mates of their own. He warned her of the endless life Musubi intended to impose upon her, and the possibility that she might not survive her own ascension as a kami. Even now, she remembered their conversation in vivid detail.

  “Why are you warning me of Musubi’s deception?” she asked. “He is your friend, is he not? How can you slander his name if you are as close as you say?”

  “I merely wish to warn you, Edana. What you will be forced to give up and the risks involved are things that you must be aware of. It is only fair that I impress upon you the gravity of this decision so you may ask yourself if immortality is what you really want.”

  He moved closer and took a piece of her red hair in his hand, wrapping it around his finger and then gently giving it a small tug. The gesture brought with it emotions she had never once experienced with Musubi.

  “Please do not misunderstand me. Musubi is one of my oldest friends, and I greatly love and respect him, but he has spent all of his existence helping humans find their soul mates, the one person on this Earth who can make them completely whole. He cannot help but long for that himself, and I cannot blame him for taking the one thing he has never been allowed to have.”

  “And what one thing is that?”

  Katsu’s eyes held Edana’s as he quietly stated, “Love.”

  She swallowed hard, feeling a rush of heat spread across her cheeks. She took a step back, waiting for the rapid beating of her heart to subside and then drew in a steadying breath.

  “What if I wish to take those risks and give Musubi what he’s always wanted?”

  Katsu closed the distance between them again. “If that is your desire, then I will not stand in your way. You needed to be apprised of all of the facts. I couldn’t remain silent, even if Musubi is my best friend. It seems wrong somehow, just as it is wrong to keep hidden my own feelings concerning you.”

  Her mouth went dry at what she thought he insinuated. “I don’t understand your meaning.”

  He gave her a calculating smile. “If you want to risk your own mortality, shouldn’t you be risking it with the right person?”

  “And Musubi isn’t right for me?”

  “He is blinded by his feelings for you, but I believe he knows that you two are not meant for one another.”

  “Then who am I meant for?”

  Katsu looked genuinely puzzled for the first time. “According to Musubi, you are an enigma. He has received no clear reading on you and assumes he can take you for himself. If that is true, however, and the fates have chosen no one for you to love in this life, why not join a kami for all eternity...so long as he is the right kami for you.”

  “You believe that kami to be someone other than Musubi?”

  He smiled wide and placed his hands at her hips, drawing her closer to his person. “The right kami will ensure your immortality. Aligning yourself with one whom you hold no true love for will end in certain death. I believe the only kami you are meant to love is me. With our union, there will be no risks to your survival.”

  Katsu’s words should have alerted her to the truth right then and there, for he had never come right out and divulged the true nature of his feelings. He never once expressed his love for her, but merely hinted at it. Yet she was too carried away in her own feelings for Katsu to consider he might have ulterior motives.

  No. He had laid his trap perfectly, and Edana willingly fell into it. For the first time in her life she experienced that wonderful, terrible, earth-shattering level of love that blinds the sight, deafens all reason, and strips the heart bare for all the world to see.

  Standing on the bluffs overlooking the wide chasm and trickling stream beneath, Edana still awaited a happily ever after that would never come.

  “Edana.” Katsu’s gruff voice took her by surprise, and she turned around with a radiant smile upon her face, one that slowly slipped away once she beheld his furious countenance.

  She rushed to him. “What is it? What has happened?”

  “You did it, did you not? You informed Musubi that you held no love for him, that you would never marry him.”

  She looked at him in confusion. “I wasn’t quite as heartless as that, but yes, I told him exactly what we discussed earlier. While I love him as a dear friend, I must be true to my heart and follow it wherever it may lead, and it leads to you, Katsu.” She placed a gentle, loving hand on his cheek, but he abruptly pulled back, steeling his eyes and glaring at her instead.

  The disturbing change in him baffled her beyond anything she could comprehend. Where had the man she cared for disappear to?

  He stood before her with an indifferent, almost triumphant expression upon his face. “I knew you never loved him. Just like any woman, you are quick to switch your loyalties to whatever circumstance betters your situation.”

  The hurtful accusations speared the very center of her heart and crushed her spirit. “I cared for him,” she cried, “and I will always consider him a dear friend, but I feel nothing more than sisterly affection for him. I didn’t refuse him without good cause.”

  “You did exactly what I stated you would do, exactly what I warned him you were capable of. He needed to understand what he risked his immortality for. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t expose you for the unfaithful, loveless woman that you truly are?”

  Edana’s heart broke with each vicious word Katsu uttered. They inflicted the highest amount of pain. He wielded them as a weapon, like tiny shards of glass capable of penetrating her most tender and vulnerable places. She cried heavy tears as she slumped to the earth. “I love you, Katsu. Whether you believe it to be true or not, I love you more than I thought it possible to love anyone or anything.”

  “You love what I offered you. You love the thought of achieving an immortal state risk free. You love yourself more than the idea of being true to my friend.” Katsu’s anger on behalf of Musubi blazed across his features. “He shied away from telling you the truth until you had no choice in the matter, but I knew that to be a mistake. Your eye could be turned just as easily as the next woman’s. It is not his destiny to be saddled with such a woman as you. Nor is it mine.”

  Edana fell to her knees and lifted her hands in supplication. “Please, Katsu. You know this isn’t true. You know I had no intention of following through with a marriage to Musubi. Even if you hadn’t come along.”

  “I know no such thing. All I see is a faithless woman who will never have the chance to hurt my friend again. Goodbye, Edana.”

  * * *

  Katsu 700 A.D.

  An enormous amount of regret engulfed Katsu as he threw such hateful words at Edana and began to walk away. He convinced himself of her guilt. She deserved to be abandoned for so cruelly abusing the affections Musubi offered her. She deserved her own heartbreak for throwing aside Musubi’s love just as easily as she would Katsu’s if a better offer ever came along. He knew how these human women operated, and he had set out to protect his friend no matter the cost or the collateral damage. He was determined to save his friend from the kind of heartbreak he had witnessed a thousand other mortals experience in his expansive lifetime. He would save Musubi from his own fruitless desires, from the possibility of losing his own immortality.

  To save his best friend’s life.

  And he had!

  He damn well had!

  Why, then, did a massive hole rip within his chest as he continued to create more distance between Edana and himself?

  He pondered the idea of returning to her side, apologizing for the subterfuge, and at the very least helping the young girl to understand why a union between the two of them verged on the other side of impossible.

  He steeled his resolve further, recognizing his own weakness where a pretty face was concerned. There were plenty of other women to re
vel in before the day was through, but Edana he would cast off forever.

  In the end, did it matter who he spent his time with? Eventually, he would be saddled with his own fate; tied to The Healer and trapped in an arranged, loveless marriage for the rest of eternity. Why not live life to its fullest now?

  A terrified scream knifed through his musings, causing an unfamiliar sense of fear to course through him.

  Edana!

  He raced back the way he had come, reaching the bluffs with lightning speed, but unable to spot Edana anywhere. Turning in circles and surveying the land spread out before him, he came to an unacceptable conclusion, one which filled him with stone cold dread. He inched himself closer to the cliff’s edge, hoping against hope that his fears might not be realized. At the bottom of the rocky chasm he saw Edana, broken, bleeding, and barely alive.

  He dove to her side, hardly paying any attention to how he arrived or the temporary damage his fall inflicted upon his own body. He focused solely on Edana, wishing only to arrive at her side and save her before her heart drummed its last beat.

  When he reached her, her eyes took on a glint of recognition for just one precious moment, a moment that filled him with hope, relief and...love! He batted away the emotions, knowing he couldn’t afford to be distracted, and placed his hands on either side of her head. Just as he connected to her sweet spirit, she slipped away from him, away from his touch, away from his desperate grasp, and away from the surprising feelings her absence in his life evoked. Her bright spirit slid from this life to the next, through the veil and on to the other side where he would never be capable of retrieving her.

  “Edana,” he cried, shaking her though he knew it was pointless. “Edana...please, I...” Katsu wrapped his arms around her broken body and pulled her to his chest, not even attempting to muffle his sobs. The pain of her loss attacked the entirety of his ki, a terrible ripping sensation that shattered his senses and hollowed him from the inside out.

  She killed herself. Threw herself over the cliff’s edge because of him, because of his refusal to love and accept her. He hadn’t truly believed her professions of love, not until that very moment. The realization made him shake harder as he rocked back and forth with her in his arms.

  He failed to notice the soft glow of his sword each time it accidentally made contact with Edana’s skin.

  Someone shouted from the distance, and then Edana was wrenched from his arms.

  “What did you do?” Musubi yelled. He held her close to his chest and placed a hand to her head. Katsu ached for his friend as he watched his eyes roam over Edana’s form, frantically searching for a flicker of life, a spark of light within her.

  He knew what Musubi encountered when he attempted to connect to Edana.

  Nothing.

  Absolutely nothing.

  When Musubi opened his eyes, Katsu, the great warrior kami, felt his heart break further. Not only had he lost a woman he hadn’t been aware he loved, but through his misguided desire to save his best friend he had just managed to lose him as well. He hadn’t a clue as to how to make amends for his enormous mistake, and no viable resource for bringing Edana back to life.

  Musubi’s voice shook. “Katsu, what did you do?”

  He knew he must own up to his part in all of this. He had to admit that Edana’s death was his fault, and he willingly did so, feeling the ache of that one truth.

  “I told her I never truly loved her. I was testing her to see if she loved you and intended to remain faithful to you. I...” He took a deep breath as Musubi pulled Edana closer, wiping away the blood from the side of her face as if that might somehow bring her back to them. “I was trying to protect you, Musubi. If you had lost your immortality to a woman as fickle as the ones I’ve encountered I would have lost you forever.”

  Musubi’s anger hung heavy between them. “So you concocted this little plan of yours to save me from myself? After all of these years, I finally found someone who wasn’t fated for any other person, someone whose soul belonged to no one else. Untethered.” He whispered that last word to himself. “And I actually cared for her. I…” Musubi’s voice caught on a sob and his shoulders shook.

  Katsu swallowed the guilt and grief his actions had caused, attempting to hold back his own devastation at the loss of Edana. This wasn’t about him or the realization of what he’d lost. This was about what Musubi had longed for since the beginning of his creation. A soul mate, someone to love, someone who could love him in return, and his friend now believed that love to be lost forever. It wasn’t something Musubi would soon recover from.

  Neither of them would.

  “I didn’t know she intended to take her own life when I told her the truth. Musubi, please, I didn’t realize she had actually—”

  “What? Fallen in love with you? Why not, when so many have before? When so many other human women have watched you walk away from them with their hearts broken and their own worst fears suddenly realized. To ruin countless women who will never be accepted by another man or even open to accepting one themselves.” Musubi broke a fist through a massive rock beside him, his anger a foreign emotion Katsu had never before witnessed. “What made you think Edana would be any less devastated by your deceit? These women have never been fickle of heart, Katsu. That role has always been played by you.”

  Katsu shut his eyes as the truth of Musubi’s words began to sink in and take root within his conscience. He was right, of course. His behavior with human women had been less than stellar, rebelling against the idea of being shackled to The Healer for the rest of his existence. He had taken his love life in his own hands and made of it what he would for as long as the fates might permit.

  He had the sure knowledge that for better or worse he would never be alone once he united himself with The Healer. The gift of a soul mate had not been something he fully appreciated until seated there, watching Musubi rock Edana back and forth in his arms, knowing that the god of love and marriage would have given up far more than his own immortality to experience, for even a brief moment, that overwhelming feeling of love.

  To love and be loved in return. It was all Musubi had ever wanted.

  And Katsu had stolen it from him. At least, he thought he had. But Musubi had never come right out and said that he loved the girl. Not even when Katsu had attempted to dissuade him from his foolhardy plans.

  “I didn’t know…I…I simply didn’t believe her when she professed her love for me.”

  The words did little to comfort his old friend as he held Edana and glared daggers of hatred at Katsu. He felt a sudden jealousy take hold as he watched the woman he loved being held in the arms of another. He knew it was foolish to react that way, recognizing he was nowhere near worthy to claim her as his own. He still couldn’t fully comprehend the level of attachment he held for a woman who was now dead because of his duplicitous behavior, yet he wanted to prove a point in order to make his original intentions justifiable in some way.

  “Did you really love her, Musubi, or was she simply a woman without a soul mate?”

  Musubi’s eyes darkened. “How could you possibly suggest such a thing?” he spat out. “I never before dreamed I could care for a person the way I did for Edana. I loved her, Katsu.”

  As did I.

  The thought surprised Katsu due to its strength and intensity. As he sorrowfully watched his best friend cradle Edana’s limp form, all of his good intentions shriveled and died. Nothing could ever justify his actions, and no amount of excruciating regret would ever bring her back.

  * * *

  Amatsu Mikaboshi - The Day of The Healer’s Birth

  Amatsu paced back and forth amongst his several followers, seeking a way to punish one or possibly all of them for the now obvious mistake he had made three centuries ago. That the fault lay solely in his corner did little to dissuade him from abusing whomever he might choose.

  “Tell me again,” he said, his voice deceptively pleasant and calm. “Tell me exactly what transpired the
moment The Healer was born.”

  Quaking on bended knee, the nekomata kept his head down and gazed upon the blackness of the stone floor.

  “The moment Empress Chinatsu delivered The Healer into the world of the living, pressure built within the room housing The Black Blossom. It compressed the air and space within the chamber, and then it exploded outward, shaking the entire room and knocking me to the floor. When I collected myself and checked for damages, I noticed its petals had whitened along the edges.”

  “And everything you have done to blacken it has failed?”

  The nekomata hesitated before answering. Admitting any type of failure invited repercussions of the worst kind.

  “The blossom refuses to welcome the darkness it lost. Even now, the white tips of the petals are gaining ground.” Amatsu stared at the top of his minion’s head, fuming at the only possible conclusion this new development signified.

  “The prophecy is flawed.” He let out a rueful chuckle, mentally berating himself for never once considering that the translated prophecy might hold grievous errors, the kind of errors capable of negating thousands of years worth of planning. But shouldn’t he have foreseen such a possibility? Wasn’t it just like his Parents to have allowed the prophecy to be flawed in the first place? What better way to thwart the thwarter than dangle a distraction, a red herring, and watch him hang himself with it?

  He didn’t consciously remember taking hold of his minion’s head or realize the pain his hands inflicted until the nekomata’s shrill cries finally penetrated his embittered musings. It hardly encouraged him to let go of the vile creature. It wasn’t as if the nekomata could be killed with his bare hands, but the pain he inflicted certainly allowed him to channel the fury coiled within.