by C. J. Anaya
“Will it be painful?”
“No, although you might feel as if you are reliving a few memories as I pull them from your subconscious.”
“I think I can handle that,” she said.
I focused intently on the memories flashing in front of me until I came upon the first memory Akane had of Musubi. I tried to transfer only the memories of her lessons with him, but all of the interactions involving Musubi became another way for me to know him. During their training sessions he was patient, but firm, and a bit of a father figure to her when he visited her at the home he placed her in. I was able to see the simple things he did to lift others’’ spirits by giving food to the woman Akane lived with or playing in the dirty roads with local children from the village. Musubi was larger than life in her eyes and the only family she had, though the woman she lived with was kind and attentive.
I transferred every single memory that held a trace of Musubi, fighting alongside him, their conversations, his instructions, everything. I absorbed how it felt to fight with the same kind of level and ease that Akane expertly fought with now, and my ki committed everything to memory within my mind. Once I gleaned all that I could, I gently returned those memories to her with great care, making certain that no damage occurred to her brain in the process.
I still felt curious about Akane’s origins and couldn’t help but go back further to the earliest memories she had as a baby. Scrolling through a person’s memories is like flipping through pages of a book. There is always a beginning with the end not fully written until the life of that person fades from this side of the veil. When I reached Akane’s earliest memories as an infant, I was surprised to discover that there were thousands of memories that predated her birth in this life. Simply put, her birth in this life was not the beginning of her book of memories.
I flipped through the memories that predated her birth and nearly screamed in horror as I experienced her life ending through her eyes as she fell from a great distance to sharp, jagged rocks below. I stopped and scrolled back even further to try and understand what was happening. I needed to live through the entire incident from her perspective.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw next.
Katsu stood in front of her with an indifferent, almost triumphant, expression on his face. “I knew you never loved him. Just like any human you are quick to switch your loyalties to whatever circumstance betters your situation.”
“I cared for him,” she cried, though it felt as if I was the one speaking, “and I will always consider him a dear friend, but I feel nothing more than sisterly affection for him. I didn’t refuse him without good cause.”
I could feel Akane’s heart breaking as if it were my own. Shattered in pieces by Katsu’s rejection of her.
“You did exactly what I stated you would do, exactly what I warned him you were capable of. He needed to see what he risked his immortality for. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t expose you for the unfaithful, loveless woman that you truly are?”
Akane cried uncontrollably, and I with her. I wanted to smack Katsu across the face for his stabbing words and unfeeling heart. She was baring her soul to him and he was ripping it in two.
I skimmed faster through the argument, not wanting to hear any more of Katsu’s insensitive words. He eventually turned away and left her. She stood up on shaking legs and moved to chase after him, but was intercepted by a nekomata of all things. My heart stuttered and nearly stopped. What in the world was happening here?
Akane screamed and stepped back, running in the opposite direction. Reaching the edge of a steep cliff, she stopped and flailed her arms out to prevent herself from falling. She regained her footing and turned around just as the nekomata crashed into her, sending her flying over the cliff’s edge.
I immediately severed my connection to her, not wanting to experience her terror or feel her pain with the impact of her body at the bottom of the ravine. I opened my eyes and stared at Akane. I didn’t realize there were tears cascading down my cheeks until she reached to brush them away.
“Mikomi.” She stood, her alarm evident on her face. “Did you damage yourself? Was this too much for you?”
It took me a moment to respond. Sweat poured from the sides of my temples, as tears continued to seep from my eyes.
Though the entire affair hadn’t happened to me, it didn’t prevent me from personally experiencing it. Akane’s heartbreak at the hands of Katsu and her painful death was not something one could easily recover from.
“Akane, have you ever had any dealings with Katsu? Have you met him?”
“No, I can’t say that I have. Mikomi, you’re scaring me. What on earth is wrong?”
“Tell me of your earliest memories. Do you remember your mother or father?”
Akane glanced at me, clearly troubled. “I remember nothing of my parents. My earliest memories are of foraging in the streets for food and looking for shelter. Mikomi, you must tell me what’s wrong. Were you not able to transfer the memories you needed?”
I took deep, calming breaths and tried to settle my emotions. I could still feel Akane’s terror and heartbreak and wanted to do nothing but sit down and cry. This discovery held significance, but I didn’t understand what exactly I had uncovered. Her ties to Katsu were troubling. Perhaps her fall from the cliff’s edge had damaged her ability to remember her past. But then why did these memories pre-date her birth in this life? Unless, she had lived more than once, which, according to Katsu, was a possibility.
When a soul dies before it accomplishes its purpose in this life it is given a new life to try again. But how was she involved with Katsu in her previous life and why? I held no answers, but felt it unwise to avail her of this information when she would have no memory of it unless I unlocked the memories for her. I didn’t think it right to do so considering how her previous life ended. Why cause her to relive such pain?
I had to puzzle it out on my own.
“No, I was able to access everything applicable to our circumstances. I think I’m simply overcome with all of the violence you’ve had to endure.”
Akane scrutinized me, unconvinced by my explanation. She held my arms for a few more seconds and then released me.
“Let’s test your memories and find out how much you’ve absorbed.” She pulled out her sword and handed it to me, then she grabbed a long, narrow blade from her back and balanced it back and forth between her hands. “We’ll start with basic defensive moves and see how you perform.”
I barely had time to register her quick frontal attack due to my swirling emotions and questions concerning Akane’s connection to Katsu. Fortunately, the memories I absorbed activated my body’s defensive instincts. I brought my sword up and deflected her blow, but allowed her momentum to carry her forward as I stepped at an angle and spun my body to the right, forcing us to switch our original positions. I stood ready as she pivoted her footing and brought her sword backward, swinging low toward my ankles, creating a sweeping slash that I vaulted over while rolling to the right side in opposition of her swing.
I jumped to my feet, ready for her next move.
Akane took a moment to study my form and then smiled in awe. “This is incredible. It’s like you’ve been fighting for years.”
Breathless, I let out a short laugh and toppled to the ground. “Just give my muscles a second to heal before you pummel me with more advanced fighting moves, otherwise I’ll never be quick enough to fight you off.”
“Yes, the knowledge is there, but your body must build stamina. I’m happy to inform you your trainings with Musubi are still a necessity. Though I have no idea how we’re going to account for your sudden growth in skill.”
“You leave that to me.” I stood shakily and returned her sword. “I can show improvement gradually enough. Even if it is at a more accelerated pace than most people. If I have to defend myself against a nekomata again, Musubi will most likely not be present either way.”
“True, though
that thought is disturbing, but at least I won’t worry as much as I did before. Now, there is something else I would like to experiment with if you are up for it.”
“That is?”
“I know that your powers give you the ability to heal. Can you explain that process for me?”
“My ki connects with another’s and then I give their ki instructions on how to rebuild and repair the damage. It is a step-by-step process.”
“So when you connect with someone’s ki, you essentially have full control over the functions of their body.”
“I guess I do, though I’ve never actually looked at it that way before.”
“Would it be possible, for example, for you to instruct someone’s ki to inflict pain?”
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “Inflict pain? I suppose it is possible, but I’ve only ever taken pain away. I don’t know if I—no, wait.” I thought back to my second encounter with a nekomata during my engagement ceremony to Katsu. When reaching for the nekomata, I had prevented his advancement by visualizing pain to slow his movements. “I think I might be able to do something like that, but I would hate to employ it. Causing pain to others isn’t a skill I wish to master.”
“Not even if it means defending yourself and the people you love?”
I let her words sink in as the possibilities of what she said whirled before me. All this time I’d had the power to defend myself against my father, against the nekomata and anyone else who wanted to do me harm. I felt like a simpleton for not having thought of it myself. I’d been missing the obvious with frequency as of late. I looked up at Akane. She seemed satisfied as she realized I understood her intent.
“Your second line of defense,” she said. “If you encounter an opponent you cannot best with the sword, your next move is to blind them with pain. Practice on me.” She stepped forward and offered me her hand.
“Absolutely not. I could never hurt you, Akane.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re only hurting me for a few moments so you can learn how to do it. We must experiment with this new idea, and I am here, a willing test subject.”
I shook my head. “I don’t like this. I am not comfortable hurting someone with my gift even if they deserve it.”
“That kind of emotion is sure to get you killed. An enemy is an enemy whether you feel they deserve to be defeated or not. You will have to suspend your compassion and mercy for those moments when you are healing. Defending your life and that of your loved ones is the only thought that should drive you if you are engaged in combat.”
I bit my lower lip, uncertain if I could compartmentalize my own moral ideals in order to purposely cause harm with my gift. Akane placed both hands on my shoulders, forcing me to make eye contact.
“Mikomi, the end result will be no different than delivering pain with a tangible weapon such as your sword. No matter the methods you employ, you have to be prepared to defend yourself. You must practice this.”
She released me and then held her hand out toward me again. I attempted to shake myself free of my own perceptions concerning my gift, acknowledging it as a potential weapon for the first time in my life. Reaching for her hand, I connected to her, but still I hesitated to give any command other than one of healing. I knew Akane wouldn’t relent until I had done exactly what she suggested.
I spoke to her ki, instructing it to send signals from the brain to the nerves to simulate a burning sensation. The moment I did so, I heard Akane’s intake of breath and then felt her entire body erupt in burning pain. I let this go for five seconds and instructed her ki to stop. I released her and shook my hands, trying to forget the agony of burning flesh.
Then I dared a look at my friend. Her face was red and sweat dripped down her temples. She took several large gulps of air.
“That was…extremely effective.” To my amazement she sounded delighted with my success. “Can you do that again without thought?”
“What do you mean?”
“If you are in a position where you’ve lost your sword and must engage in hand-to-hand combat, can you remember to connect with your opponent and simulate a burning sensation without losing your focus?”
“Yes, I know I can.”
Akane rubbed her arms as if she were still trying to shake the pain away. “Good, now what else can you think of that might stop an opponent from killing you?”
“This wasn’t enough?”
“It took me a moment to recover, and a moment may be all that you need, Mikomi, but what if it isn’t? What if you need to do more than inflict pain upon your enemy? What else can you do to permanently stop them?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
“Do you have any kind of control over a person’s heart?”
My eyes went wide. “You want me to stop their heart?”
“Mikomi,” she said, reaching for both my hands. “I am not encouraging you to become a murderer. I simply want you to be able to defend yourself, and in a fight with a nekomata it will have to be to the death. Do you understand me? It is either you or that monstrosity, and it cannot be you. Whether by your sword or with your mind you will have to end your opponent. Better to have a full arsenal of weapons at your disposal now instead of fighting blindly, unsure of what works and what doesn’t.”
“Okay, but how do I know if stopping a heart is something I can even accomplish?”
Akane squared her shoulders, but didn’t let go of my hands. “Just do it long enough to see if it’s possible, and then bring me back.”
“Akane—”
“I trust you, Mikomi.” She locked eyes with me and held firm. “As much as I trust Musubi.”
I reluctantly closed my eyes and connected to her ki again. I marveled at the brightness of her spirit and the familiarity I felt, then I focused in on the rhythm of her heart, breathing in as she did and exhaling out as I instructed her ki to slow her heartbeats. Her ki responded hesitantly, confused by the initial instructions. Her ki instinctively understood the need to preserve her life.
Her heartbeats gradually slowed, but her body began to convulse as it did so. It was possible to stop her heart completely, but I wasn’t certain I could bring her back if I did. I decided the knowledge I had was enough for now, and I couldn’t damage her body any further. I gave her ki more instructions, elevating her heartbeats to a normal rhythm and making sure her blood flow hadn’t been impaired during our experiment.
I pulled away and opened my eyes. Other than looking a bit pale, she was none the worse for wear.
“I knew you could do it. If you can slow my heart rate down you can stop it, can’t you?”
I nodded, but I didn’t feel quite so enthusiastic. It wasn’t in my nature to do harm, and using my gift like that made me feel dirty, almost corrupt inside, but Akane had proven a valid point. Whether with a sword or my gift, I would defend myself and those I loved to the death.
My gloomy mood would find no relief, considering my next course of action.
“How is Aiko?”
Akane’s eyebrows rose at this further depressing change in topic.
“Silent as the grave. It’s amazing how determined she is to keep her mouth shut. When I informed her of your arrival last night, I saw a small spark alight her eyes, but nothing else. She is expecting you whenever you are ready to face this inquisition.”
No point in postponing the inevitable. “Let’s do this now. I need to know the true intent of her heart.”
“I know you care for her, but if she willingly joined with the emperor, we will need to end her life immediately, and we now have the weapon with which to do so. Can’t you just extract her memories to see if she is telling the truth?”
“Kami are not like humans. They have full power over their ki and cannot be coerced into giving up their own memories.”
“Pity. That ability of yours would come in handy at the moment.”
“Yes. I suppose I will simply have to read her emotions and go from there.”
Akane nodd
ed. “Are you ready then?”
I gave her a resigned grimace. “Let’s just get this over with.”
The area in which Aiko remained incarcerated was a fair pace from the main camp; about half a mile into the forest. A tent had been erected for her, with one guard stationed without and one within. As we approached, the guard without stood at attention, bowed at the waist and then moved aside to allow us passage. Upon entering the tent the second guard stood at attention and bowed as well.
“Leave us,” Akane commanded.
The guard bowed again and left the tent. The exchange gave me time to assess Aiko’s accommodations, which consisted of a small cot on the floor and little else. She sat upon her cot with a serene expression on her face. It surprised me, considering her current predicament. The Aiko I knew would have fretted and fussed over the entire ordeal.
There were obviously many things I didn’t know about my oldest friend.
When she saw me her eyes took on a happy shine as she attempted to rise, but in the blink of an eye the point of Akane’s sword lay directly against the base of my maid’s neck.
“You will remain seated, Aiko. I may not be a kami, but you will find me a formidable opponent should you attempt anything reckless or harmful in regards to your mistress.”
Aiko eased back upon her cot. “I understand. I have no intention of hurting the princess.” Her words and feelings were sincere enough, but I held back my own happiness at seeing my oldest friend.
“Then why were you working for my father, Aiko? The truth this time. You had absolutely nothing to fear if you failed to meet his demands. You have no family he can threaten, and you are immortal. I cannot for the life of me understand what could have motivated you to steal my blood and help my father build a kami army.”