Rhythms of Grace

by Marilynn Griffith

  I sighed. Joyce. Once I’d explained what had happened at the hospital, Zeely had called for a report. Joyce was stable and resting. Zeely praised God for that news as she concluded her prayer. Then she slipped her hands under the covers, clasping my fingers. “We thank you for Jesus, who is able to keep us from falling . . .”

  Too bad that didn’t apply to rolling off porches with men attached to your face. I sneezed again as the cold wetness of the night soaked into my bones. As my father used to say when he felt a cold coming on, I had an ache in my pocket. It had been near midnight when we left the hospital. It had to be after 1:00 by now.

  Zeely squeezed my hand one last time. “In Jesus’ name, amen.”

  “Amen.”

  Satin rippled as Zeely slipped in beside me. “The snow’s falling fast now. We might be off school Monday.”

  I watched the clumps of white fall past the window. It seemed hard to believe that I’d been outside not long before. I wanted to pray that school would be closed Monday, but praying didn’t seem right, especially with Brian’s kiss still sweet on my mouth. I’d brushed my teeth with the new toothbrush in Zeely’s bathroom that I didn’t want to ask about, but Brian’s kiss was still there.

  What was missing now was the kiss of Christ.

  I thought I’d had things under control, but in the end, I’d caved. They didn’t call it warfare for nothing. Regardless of what had happened tonight—delicious dinner, hospital prayers, juicy kisses— Brian wasn’t safe for me. It didn’t seem like I was much good for him either. I’d been so concerned about me playing with fire and getting burned that I hadn’t realized I’d set his life aflame too.

  We could never work. And I’d gone and dug the hole deeper.

  And I had holes enough. The holes in my window, in my heart . . . After what had happened tonight, I couldn’t fool myself about having the gift of singleness. I was the marrying kind.

  How Brian could seem so right and be so wrong I didn’t know, but I was tired of trying to protect myself, to control myself. Sure Brian had prayed a few times during emergencies, but I’d been down that looks-like-a-Christian-so-maybe-it-is road with my first husband.

  And I’d been wrong.

  Dead wrong.

  What I did know was that for every temptation there was a way of escape. A trap door. God promised that. Somehow though, I was missing it.

  I couldn’t think anymore. Instead, I tucked my hand under Zeely’s pillow instead of my own. There was something under the pillow. Something sharp and cold.

  A knife.

  That made me laugh through my fog of sleep.

  That Zeely. Always prepared.

  When the doorbell rang, I rolled from my side to my back, trying to figure out when it was, where I was. The clock helped me out as well as the scented, slippery sheets. Two a.m. Zeely’s place. Nobody came to Zee’s at that time of the morning. Maybe I’d imagined it.

  I hadn’t.

  My eyes barely open, I sat up and grabbed for Zeely’s curtain and peeked outside. With a sigh, I sat back on the edge of the bed.

  “Grace, who is that?” Zee whispered.

  “Mal.”

  “Do you want me to tell him to go away?”

  “No. I’ll go down. They probably called him about Joyce and he saw my place—”

  “Grace—”

  “It’s okay. I’ll get rid of him.”

  I couldn’t have been more wrong.

  My feet downed the stairs two at a time while my mind searched for the right words. Mal didn’t sleep well when he was worried, so all I had to do was set his mind at ease, let him know that Joyce was okay and I was too. I bunched the robe Zeely had tossed at me in one hand and clicked the deadbolt open with the other.

  Malachi pushed past me, his eyes darting around the dim room. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine.”

  One step brought him to the foot of the stairs. “Who’s here with you? Mayfield isn’t up there, is he?”

  I caught him on the second step and pushed him off it. “Nobody’s up there but Zeely. Now be quiet before you wake her . . . again. And the police have been out here once tonight. We don’t want the neighbors calling them again.”

  At the mention of the authorities, Mal’s expression sobered. “Sorry,” he said quietly.

  “You should be,” I whispered, wondering if Mal had lost his mind.

  He took a seat on the couch, his eyes locked on me. “I saw the mess outside your place. Why didn’t you call me? You know I want to protect you. You should have stayed with me.”

  “I’m where I need to be right now.”

  Zeely appeared at the top of the staircase. A silk scarf meant to be tied on her head was looped around her neck.

  I cut my eyes at Mal for making so much noise. “Sorry for waking you.”

  Zeely pivoted back toward her room half-asleep. “Um-hum.”

  Mal waited for Zeely to disappear before he moved closer. “You see how this goes, being with him? It always puts you in danger.”

  “Come again?”

  “You and Mayfield—Brian. I saw you out there rolling around in the snow.”

  This just got better and better.

  I squinted at him. That was hours ago. “What were you doing, spying on me?”

  His expression softened. “No. I wasn’t spying. Just worried. I came by to check on you. Then I saw you two on the porch like that . . . Not that you would have noticed.”

  He had me there. “I’m sorry you saw that, but in truth, it was a private moment after a long, hard night.”

  “You were outside—”

  There was a neediness I’d never heard in Mal’s voice. For once, I truly had nothing to give him. “I appreciate you being concerned, but it’s over with us. You got your ring back. As for Brian, that kiss, well, I don’t know. That’s basically the end of it.”

  Malachi chuckled softly. “It won’t be for him. Trust me.” He reached over and picked up Zeely’s phone.

  I teetered on the edge of the couch, staring at this man who I’d almost married. A man who had always been so reserved with me. Who would have thought that Brian would drive him over the edge? Jealousy was a green-eyed monster indeed.

  He held out the receiver to me. “Call Mayfield and tell him there can’t be anything between you. That’ll squash it.”

  It was way too late for this conversation. I placed the phone on the charger. “I know this is hard, but it’s late and I don’t feel well. This isn’t even my house. It’s time for you to leave.” I stood up and started for the door.

  Malachi reached for my arm. He pulled me toward him by the belt of Zeely’s robe. “Kiss me. Kiss me like you kissed him.” He took a deep and desperate breath. “Please.”

  A stab of fear went through me. Was he on something? Everything about him tonight seemed . . . odd. Or maybe it was just the night. I’d been acting rather odd myself. Maybe it was nothing.

  “Mal—”

  His mouth clamped over mine, now demanding the kiss it had just requested. A reflex from too many self-defense classes, I stomped his foot and tried to pull away. My bare feet had no effect on his boots. He held me fast and pressed something sharp and cold against my neck.

  A knife.

  “You’ll never know how much I loved you. Don’t call your friend. I don’t want to hurt her. Let’s just keep this where it belongs. Between us,” he whispered in my ear.

  Somehow, I managed a nod, despite my shock. How had I gotten everything so wrong?

  “Don’t look at me like that. It didn’t have to be this way.” He yanked me to my feet, his hand on my mouth. Snow blew in as he pushed the door open.

  Zeely’s sleepy voice floated over the stairs. “Grace? You still down there? Come to bed or you’ll never wake up tomorrow.”

  I hoped that wasn’t prophetic. I paused for a second, considering the knife under Zeely’s pillow. Maybe she could, we could . . . No, I couldn’t risk it. The blade pressed against my throa
t as Mal lifted two fingers from my mouth.

  “Go back to sleep, Zee. I’m fine—”

  He pulled me tighter. “Tell her you’re going out for a minute.”

  Outside? Panic started to set in as I tried to figure out a way to stay in the house. Outside, I’d be totally at his disposal. The knife pressed harder against my throat, cutting a little. “We’re going to get some food, Zee. You know how I get sometimes. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  “In your nightclothes?”

  I pointed to the hall closet. He led me there. I took out my coat and stabbed my feet into my boots. “I’ve got my coat. We’re just riding through the drive-thru.”

  “Well, be careful,” Zeely said from the throes of sleep. “We’ve had enough trouble for one night.”

  She had no idea.

  79

  Brian

  The driver behind me blared his horn and called me a few choice names before I came to myself and pulled over into the 7-Eleven in the middle of town.

  When I looked in the mirror, Grace’s lipstick was still on my mouth.

  And in my mind.

  One more kiss like that and I’d be done for.

  With a napkin from my glove compartment, I got the top layers of color, leaving me with a stain. It made sense that it didn’t wipe away easily. This whole night was like that, something that would stick around for a while.

  Tired and cold, I headed into the store to get something to keep me awake the rest of the way home. I’d slept in my car in Grace’s neighborhood for a while just because I couldn’t go any farther. But the snow woke me soon enough.

  Somebody pulled my hair. I swung around and smiled as Ron gave a hug.

  Man, I was glad to see him. “What are you doing out this late?”

  He shrugged as we entered the store. “I could ask you the same. You’re usually getting up about now, aren’t you?”

  Pretty much. “Not quite. A few more hours yet.” The heat felt good, but now I was getting sleepy again.

  “Right. Well, I went out to the hospital. I was out of town and missed the initial call. They told me you were there. How’d your dinner go? That was last night, right? Did the hospital call before or after?”

  “During. We both went to the hospital and spent the night. I dropped her off not long ago.” I picked up a candy bar and put it down.

  He squeezed my shoulder and shook his head. “Just like old times, huh? Crazy times. All we need now is some food and a place to sleep off our blues. I could go for some chitlins right now. . . .”

  Some things never changed. “No thanks. I think I’m going for a Slurpee.”

  Ron laughed. “You’re funny. Drinking a Slurpee in a snowstorm. You and Mal are the only people I know who’d drink frozen drinks in winter. I came through here for gas on the way to the hospital and he was getting one.”

  The cup I’d just grabbed started to collapse in my hands. Mal and I had always liked the same things. Especially lately.

  “Mal was in Testimony? Tonight?” My heart beat in my temples. “Did you see which way he went when he left?”

  Without hesitation, Ron pointed in the direction I had come from. Grace’s direction. “That way. I only remember because he peeled out of the lot. He always was a jerk.”

  The cup hit the trash where I aimed it. I motioned for Ron to come with me. He followed, no questions asked. At least not until we were in my car.

  “What gives, man?”

  “Remember how I always knew when your mom was coming? Even before I saw her?”

  Ron nodded. “Yeah, I remember. That last time . . . she would have killed me.”

  “I feel like that now. Only worse. It might be nothing, but I just want to go by. She’s at Zeely’s tonight.”

  Ron stiffened at the mention of Zeely’s name. “Let’s check. Just in case.”

  80

  Grace

  I crocheted a blanket. It’s crooked because I keep forgetting to turn it over. I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I want the baby to know that I tried. I really, really tried.

  Diana Dixon

  I tried not to fly away as Mal dragged me to a patch of trees behind one of the model condos. Something in me wanted to let go and look down on the whole scene, but something else wanted to be free.

  Wanted to live.

  That was the part of me that bit him until he bled. That was the part of me that ran. Only now with my feet freezing and sinking in the snow like quicksand, that same part of me seemed to be fading away.

  Mal tackled me and stroked my hair. “Will you stop? I don’t want to hurt you. Don’t make me.”

  That did it, flipped my switch back on. The first time I’d been held against my will, I hadn’t known what would happen. Now I knew what came next. This time I wanted a different ending and I’d have to use my head to get it. I went limp in his hands.

  “Give up? Good. I don’t know why you had to make this so difficult. This could have been our honeymoon.” Mal’s breath curled away from my ear like smoke.

  I took a deep breath, strengthening myself for what would come.

  The righteous are as bold as a lion.

  I looked to a star overhead. God would tell me when.

  He was going to kiss me again. I closed my eyes, let myself disconnect. The dreaded kiss never came.

  “One last chance. Will you marry me?”

  I tried to say something that he’d want to hear, something that would save my life, but my disgusted look must have betrayed me.

  He shook his head. “I thought as much.”

  In the white of the snow, I could see his shadow moving, his body coming down on me. This was it.

  Now.

  I shoved my knee into his groin. Mal crumpled to his knees, still grasping my robe. He swung the knife as I pulled away. The blade sliced my palm, but I kept going, crawling backward, lobster-style toward the street, toward the lights. Mal was still down, but not for long.

  Scream.

  I screamed, hoping, praying that someone would hear. He was up now and coming at me. Before I could scream again, Mal’s hand clapped over my mouth. He jerked my face toward him and pulled something out of his pocket.

  A ski mask.

  As he pulled it down over his face, I gasped. Only once before had I seen someone’s eyes look like that. Like then, those eyes were the last thing I saw before my soul broke away and everything went black.

  81

  Brian

  There were no lights at Zeely’s. They were probably asleep. I couldn’t look at Ron. “You probably think I’m nuts for sure.”

  Ron was still looking up at Zeely’s windows. “You did the right thing.”

  Embarrassed, I lifted my foot off the brake, ready to ease down the street in silence.

  “Wait.” A light appeared in Zeely’s upstairs window. I put the car back into park. Another light, downstairs. Ron and I looked at each other. He was almost out of the car when I heard the scream.

  Grace’s scream.

  We took off in two directions.

  Ron’s words came over my shoulder as I cut behind the building. “I’m going in for Zeely. I’ll call the cops. I’ll find you . . .”

  Lights clicked on in other condos as I stumbled past them, willing my sleep-starved body to keep going. Thinking, praying one thing:

  Faster.

  A light flicked on across the street, three condos down. I propelled myself forward, pushing a clump of bushes and trees. He had on a ski mask, but when I saw his back, I knew. It was Mal, with a knife in his hand and Grace at his feet. She wasn’t moving.

  A scream of my own came somewhere from the depth of me as I charged him. The knife came at me, but I ducked and chopped at his wrist with a martial arts move I’d thought I’d forgotten. The knife flew away.

  He tumbled back, but came up ready, both fists raised. “I knew you’d come.”

  I head butted him. He kicked me. And all the time I was looking at Grace, hoping that her chest
was really moving and that it wasn’t just the wind.

  He was watching her too. “I did love her, you know. Always. Even the first time. I just didn’t know it yet.”

  That dropped me quicker than any blow he could have landed. Grace had never told me what happened to her, but Testimony was a small town.

  It’d been Mal all the time.

  I tried to get up, but fell down on one knee.

  He laughed as he ran away. I was up now, running after him. I saw Ron, up ahead of me, pulling at Zeely’s arm. I slid to a stop when I saw what she had in her hand.

  A gun.

  “Zeely, no!” Ron shouted before something exploded in front of me.

  Mal was down, grabbing his shoulder. Zeely was shaking. The gun dangled from her fingers. It looked like it weighed more than she did. Ron pried it from her fingers.

  With her hands free, she pointed at Mal, screaming at him. “You come into my house and do this? You never loved her, but I did. She was finally going to be okay. We all were.” Tears washed over her chin.

  Sirens echoed as what sounded like our entire police force approached. Zeely ran toward Grace. Ron and I stayed put, watching as Mal managed to stand.

  A few strides brought me to him. It was a good thing Ron had the gun and not me. “Why did you do it, huh?”

  Mal spat in my direction as the police approached. “The first time? Gang initiation. This time, I was going to make it right—”

  I punched him then, right where he’d been shot. Put him in a headlock, squeezing off his air.

  Ron came to me, but he held the gun out of my reach and unloaded the bullets, threw them in the snow. “Thou shall not kill, bruh. Don’t.”

  I let him go. He curled into a ball on the ground. Laughing. “You’re pathetic, Mayfield. A punk. You always were.”

  I snatched the empty gun from Ron and raised it over Mal’s head.

  Someone grabbed me from behind. Slapped handcuffs on me.

  “This is the police. Put down the weapon.”

  The gun fell onto a sea of fresh snow. Virgin white. I tried to breathe as the police pulled me past Grace, just laying there as the medics loaded her onto a stretcher.