Monster Exchange Program

by Mark Albany

  She reached up and shoved me aside with surprising strength. We both looked up to see that we’d fallen fifteen feet into a pit. There was a door carved into the ground on the other side of the hole.

  “We need to go,” Ruby said. “Now.”

  I grabbed my pack and pulled it open. Her eyes enlarged at the sight of the weapons and gear stashed inside.

  “Impressive collection,” she said.

  I removed a silver ball with a single button on the face. I pushed the button and a spiral of emerald light lanced from it.

  “What is that?”

  I smiled. “It emits a low-frequency vibration that is known to induce seizures in certain creatures, including skin-changers and various kinds of monsters.”

  “How ‘bout demons?” Ruby asked.

  My face fell. “Never tried it on them before.”

  She grabbed the ball. “There’s always a first time for everything.”

  “That’s true.”

  “I believe it’s going to work,” Ruby said.

  “Keep thinking those good thoughts,” I said.

  Running forward, she jump-kicked the door open to reveal a narrow, pitch-black tunnel. We raced through its sharply-inclined tight confines, forced to put our hands out to balance ourselves. Another door awaited us at the top. She looked back at me. “You ready?”

  I removed my gun and she smiled at it. “That’s the biggest pistol I’ve ever seen.”

  “I’ve seen bigger,” I replied.

  I pulled out a magazine of ammunition that was filled with oversized bullets. The bullet tips were white with strange runes scrawled on them.

  “What are those?” she asked.

  “Bullets made from something that came out of a cave near the Dead Sea.”

  “What kind of something?”

  “Bits of bone from a man who allegedly once cast out demons.”

  “What do they do?” she asked.

  “Apparently, they help knock demons out of their human skin-suits. At the very least, they hurt like a sonofabitch.”

  She pointed at another metal object in my bag. It was the size of a baseball, olive in color, and had a diamond pattern on the outside.

  “How about that?”

  “A homemade grenade filled with colloidal silver.”

  “You make it?”

  I nodded.

  “Coolness,” she purred. “I love a man who knows how to use his hands.” She looked me up and down, smiling lasciviously. Then she palmed the silver ball and shouldered open the door, following stairs that led back in the house’s basement.

  The first demon, a tall kid with a shag of black hair and skinny arms, ran at us. His eyes were locked on Ruby, who dropped low and then brought an open palm up in a violent thrust against the kid’s nose, shattering it with a sickening crunch. He went down in a pool of red. More demons charged down a large, wooden staircase. She flung the silver ball at them.

  It bounced off the wall and vaporized with a percussive bang, emitting a sonic shriek that knocked down all but one of the demons. I had my gun trained on him and when he tried to retreat, I shot him. The blast caught him in the middle of the back. He slumped against the staircase and slid down.

  The other demons writhed on the ground in the grips of seizures. We moved forward and watched as something black seeped from their bodies, like smoke being sucked up a chimney flue. The demons had exited their bodies.

  We jogged up the stairs, listening to the sound of footfalls in every direction. “We need to get the hell out of here!” Ruby shouted.

  I wanted to call Ryko, to tell him what was going on and that we needed some backup, but then realized that there was no way anyone would reach us in time. We were on our own.

  Five demons emerged from the foyer. I reached into my bag and brought out a baton with a machete-like blade that extended with the snap of a wrist.

  Ruby went into a full-on rage, and I followed her into battle.

  I shot the first demon through the forehead, then dropped low and threw a flurry of strikes at the next two. They blocked my punches. One of the creatures slugged me in the jaw, its yellow eyes incandescent with rage. It heaved itself at me and I ducked under its punch.

  Measuring my weight, I brought a fist up and coshed the beast as hard as I could with a jackhammer blow to the throat, stealing its wind. The demon fell back, clutching its windpipe. I placed the barrel of my gun against the thing’s mouth and fired, painting the floor yellow with its blood.

  I turned and watched Ruby ram an elbow into a demon’s face, knocking the thing back into the shadows. Then she upended another of the fiends and brought the heel of her boot down, dashing the thing’s head to pieces.

  Before Ruby could pivot, another demon grabbed her and hurled her against a wall. She hit it and slumped to the floor as I fired a shot that the winged the demon, a tall, slump-shouldered kid who sported a reversed USC baseball hat.

  The thing turned, and I noticed that the room was filling with demons wearing human semblances. Six, seven, eight of them! I knelt beside Ruby, who clutched the grenade. She smiled hugely.

  “Time to bring the noise,” she said.

  Rising, she lobbed the grenade to me. I depressed the firing button on it, ready to time my throw. Then I grabbed her hand and we ran toward a far window, careful to avoid the massive hole in the floor from earlier.

  I stopped only once, to toss the grenade back at the demons. It bounced, flipped up into the air, and exploded with enough force to atomize the demons and blow out every window in the place.

  We crashed through what was left of the nearest window and slammed hard to the ground, listening to the neighbors’ screams and wailing car alarms. I elbowed myself up and stared at the rings of smoke that issued from the broken windows.

  “So, that could’ve gone a little better,” I said.

  “Ends justify the means. We saved those girls and stopped the bad guys.”

  “How do you feel?” I asked.

  “Like a bag of smashed assholes,” she said, rubbing her temples. She stood and helped me up. “I also feel like I owe you for saving our asses.”

  “Paybacks are appreciated,” I said with a smirk.

  “How ‘bout I rock your world at a later time of my choosing?”

  “Sounds good.”

  I put my arm around her, steadying her as several onlookers arrived.

  “What the hell happened?” said a frightened girl.

  “We just killed a bunch of demons,” I replied.

  Her jaw dropped. “Joking,” I lied. “That was just a joke. A gas line blew, so don’t go inside.” We moved past her and shot a final look at the house. “You think that’s the end of it?” I asked.

  She sighed. “Where there’s one demon, there’s usually more.”

  “In your experience, are they usually capable of running an operation like this on their own?”

  “You mean setting the table to end the world?”

  I nodded.

  “Hell, no.”

  “Then someone or something else is likely involved.”

  “If I were a betting woman, I’d say yes,” Ruby replied.

  “Any ideas who that might be?”

  She shook her head. “Whoever it is, I’ll bet they’re pissed.”

  “Let’s hope so.”

  I checked my PDA and phone. “What’s your plan?” she asked.

  “I’m gonna call this in to my boss and ask him to send out a bunch of cleaners, a team that specializes in scrubbing supernatural shit.”

  “And then?”

  “I plan to take a very long shower. You?”

  “The same, and then I’m going to come looking for you, Nate.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  “Steel yourself,” she said, swatting me playfully.

  “Consider me steeled.”

  We separated as she went one way and I went the other. “Wait!” she shouted. “How will I find you?”

  “Ask ar
ound for where the only half-troll is living on campus,” I said. “Shouldn’t be too hard to locate me.”

  13

  By the time I’d messaged Ryko about our interactions with the demons, the news that the four girls had been found started to spread across campus. I knew this because half a dozen people nearly ran into me while scanning the news on their cellphones, oblivious to anyone walking in front of them.

  On the one hand, I was glad the girls were safe and the news of that was spreading. However, I was also concerned by the fact that I received so many nasty looks from passersby. It didn’t take a genius to realize that many people on campus probably suspected the half-troll, namely me, was somehow involved.

  The truth would eventually come out—either with Ruby’s help or that of the students we’d rescued—but after being up all night and this morning, and feeling grubby, bruised, and sore, all I could think about now was skipping the rest of my classes. I hoped that the hubbub of the girls being found would let it fall through the cracks. I was going to the dorm, taking a shower, and then taking a nice, long nap. While I still needed to move quickly to figure out and stop what the demons had planned, and how Professor Wyllis was involved in everything going on, I needed sleep to think clearly and function at my best. Besides, I wouldn’t put it past Ruby to pick the next time we met to offer her payback. I hadn’t forgotten her comment about me keeping up.

  As I moved between buildings, I saw my reflection in a window and was shocked at my appearance. I was visibly bruised and had a thin slice wound over one cheekbone. It had stopped bleeding, but it still left a fine red trail over the white salt that washed over me every time I fired my gun.

  I stepped through the doors of the dorm. People were talking about how the girls had been rescued. I heard their stories, everything from loudly proclaimed to hushed whispers that people didn’t want me to hear. Some of those gathered gestured toward me and whispered. A few of the more enterprising ones tried to take my picture. I lifted my arm to partially block my face and kept on walking.

  As I breezed by everyone, it was apparent that some suspected my involvement in the kidnappings, but others were convinced otherwise. I was heartened to hear more than one student assert that I couldn’t possibly have had anything to do with what was going down, mainly since I hadn’t even been around when the first two girls went missing.

  Ryko had received my message, as evidenced by a couple of responses from him waiting on my phone. I would address them after my shower. Or maybe after my nap. The girls were safe, the mission was over. The Bureau could send in some actual investigators to find the people who were responsible for the kidnappings. That was what the Myths and Monsters Branch was for.

  I moved through the dorm and tapped the app to open my door, then stepped inside and groaned softly while dropping my pack onto my bed. There were other people in my room, but I didn’t acknowledge them immediately. When I looked up, I saw that Kelly was in her bed. She looked like she was still sleeping off the effects of what had happened the night before. Pearl and Jen were with her, with the latter sitting on the bed, gently stroking Kelly’s hair and whispering soft words into her ear. Pearl looked over at me, smiling.

  I summoned a smile. “You should see the other guy.”

  “What happened?”

  “I had words with a few bad apples.”

  “What kind of words?”

  “The ones where I ended up kicking a significant amount of ass.”

  She nodded. I was surprised that she wasn’t more concerned or downright disgusted by my gnarly appearance.

  “Still hungover, huh?” I asked, nodding toward Kelly.

  “She’ll get used to it, eventually,” Pearl said. “Especially if she’s going to be one of our sisters.”

  “I’m glad that you guys were able to take care of her, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to help,” I replied, coming in closer.

  “I’m not going to say that she didn’t miss you, but I’m sure you’ll make it up to her,” Pearl said, pulling herself up from her seat on Kelly’s bed. “I heard about those girls.”

  I nodded. “Good news.”

  “Great news. Did you play any role?”

  “And if I did?”

  “I’d love to hear about it,” Pearl said, rubbing up against me.

  “I kinda need a shower, Pearl.”

  “I don’t suppose you’d want some company in there?” she asked.

  “Sure,” I said softly. I pulled my shirt off, brushing some of the granules of salt from my arms as I grabbed my towel and headed into the bathroom. I didn’t know what she wanted to do, but I hoped she understood that I wasn’t going to commit to anything until I was at least partially clean. Pearl stepped into the bathroom behind me and closed the door behind her like she wasn’t extending an invitation to Jen or Kelly. I was curious about that since it seemed like her intention had always been to have a relationship with them, and the fact that I was part of it was a necessary evil.

  That didn’t seem to be the case here. She smiled in a way that indicated she was interested in me. Not for someone else, but for me. The other option, of course, was that I was sleep-deprived and seeing shit that I wanted to see. I wanted people to be interested in me for me. Maybe I was projecting, and all Pearl wanted was some primal relief from tension. I didn’t mind that either, honestly.

  I stripped naked, watching her bite her lip. With a hint of pride, I turned the water on inside the shower. She started to undress. As far as I was concerned, she could take her time. I let the water rush over me and wash all of the salt and blood away, let it soothe my aching and sore body, let it…

  I blinked, trying to focus on what Pearl was doing, but she was suddenly blurry. I lost control of my limbs, an uncomfortable weakness filling them. I started to slide out of the shower, coming closer to Pearl, watching her eyes change. It was like a black veil had been pulled over them. She suddenly had the eyes of a shark and there was no life in them. Then her face shuddered and her visage screwed up, and I realized that a demon had overtaken her.

  “You really should have left us alone, mongrel,” the demon whispered through Pearl’s voice, an odd, contented smile touching her lips as I staggered, reaching for the door. She stepped out of the way, in no apparent rush to attack me, as though she was amused by what she saw.

  I opened the door and moved out of the bathroom, and almost fell as I reached the tiled floor of the room. I walked a few steps and then tumbled onto my side, knocking a chair down with a clatter. There were stars in my eyes and a metallic taste on my tongue. My gut told me I’d been drugged.

  Kelly was still in bed. The noise should have woken her, but it didn’t. Jen looked like she was asleep as well, hunched over Kelly. She, too, should have woken up from the ruckus I was making, but she didn’t move an inch. I shook my head. They weren’t dead. I would have noticed it. Even in whatever state I was in, I could still hear their heartbeats. Slow, but steady. They weren’t dead or dying, just asleep. Very deeply asleep. Drugged, perhaps.

  “If you hurt them,” I growled, hearing my words slurring against my will, “if you hurt them, I swear to the gods that I will tear you apart with my bare hands.”

  “We need them alive,” Pearl...or the demon inside her said, walking over to where I lay on the floor. “Just like we need you alive. Well, want you alive, really. No real need for mongrels outside of basic interest of how amenable to foreign DNA humans are, but that’s an issue for another time. For now, I need you to come with me.”

  “I don’t think I’m in any state to go anywhere at the moment,” I whispered softly, my eyes drifting shut. “But if you’d like to make an appointment, I’m sure you can…talk to my secretary.”

  She smiled in that weird, earnest way she had, and that was the last thing I saw before everything went black.

  14

  I woke up gasping and coughing. I looked around, trying to determine my location and understand what was around me. Darkness was all
I saw at first, but as my eyes adjusted, the blur faded and I could see where I stood. Well…stood wasn’t quite the right word. My feet lightly touched the ground on the tips of my toes. My hands were bound above my head and hurt since I was hanging from them. I pushed up higher on the tips of my toes to relieve the pressure on my wrists. The sudden lack of pain was enough to draw a soft gasp from me.

  “Fuck,” I growled, trying to balance in that position for as long as I could while looking around. I was in the basement where Ruby and I had helped save those girls, not far off from the hole from earlier. Signs of the fight were all around us. There were three other demons in the room with me, one of them holding the bucket it had used to toss icy water into my face to wake me up. The others stared at me with a mixture of disgust and curiosity in their eyes, like they were studying a horrifying yet interesting creature.

  Studying me.

  And then there was Pearl. It was disconcerting to look into her eyes and not know if the demon had been inside her all along or if she had recently been possessed. Whether what had happened last night was the demon, or if it was Pearl, was bugging me. Weird. Was this what humans termed as thinking with their dick?

  Pearl smiled at me and stepped closer. “Nice to see you in the land of the living again, Nate,” she whispered and reached out to run her hand over my chest. “Nicer still to see that you’ve dressed for the occasion. You know a lot of demons hate the concept of half-breeds and mongrels, but I’ve always had a soft spot for seeing what humans can do when they have the need to fuck every being they encounter. And the results. Especially when the results are hung like fucking horses.” Her hand drifted down my body. “I have a soft spot for those, too.”

  I tilted my head, wondering what her game was. “Hazel mistletoe in the water stream,” I whispered, a little hoarsely. “Quite the knockout punch for us monster folk. Nice touch, as long as you keep humans away from it. How did you get it in the shower water?”

  “In the shower?” Pearl asked, tilting her head. “We put it in the water supply. Of the whole school by now, I should think.”