Pretty Reckless

by Shen, L. J.

  “I hope it’s not what I think it is,” she says dryly, taking out her (no, my) makeup bag and reapplying her lipstick.

  “And what would that be?” I snap, starting to lose my patience.

  “If you think you have a shot with my brother, for as long as I have a breath in me, you’re about to be proven otherwise, Lovebug.”

  I wish I could rewrite you out of my life

  But all your pages are highlighted

  Dog-eared and thumbed to death

  I can no longer read you

  But you are still my favorite poem

  That evening, my two public enemies both raise the white flag.

  The first one is Mel, who summons all of us in the garage after dinner and after taking Via to the dentist to fix that missing tooth of hers. In the garage is a vehicle clothed in bright pink parked next to Dad’s Tesla. I’m standing with my arms folded. My face suggests a hostile terrorist organization has kidnapped me when Melody, with her fake enthusiasm and mental pompoms, unveils the vehicle and presents it with her arms outstretched like Vanna White on The Wheel of Fortune. It’s a bright pink Hummer Jeep.

  “I know we said no presents and no celebrations—you only wanted a party—but I just couldn’t help myself.” Melody squeals and claps her hands. Via and Bailey gush right along with her. Dad and Penn are silent next to me. After the female excitement dies down, and the garage goes silent, I react.

  “Wow.” I walk around it, deliberate and placid. “That is horrifyingly ugly.”

  I raise my eyes to meet hers, and I’m smirking. I’m smirking because, as it turns out, she doesn’t know me after all. If she thinks she can buy her way into my heart with fancy things, she obviously misread me. Sure, I like my designer collection of dresses, shoes, and bags, and I have expensive tastes—maybe not as expensive as Knight’s, but definitely more upmarket than Vaughn’s and Luna’s—but I don’t need it. Materialistic things don’t excite me. I like them because they’re there and available. Because they’re a calorie-free treat.

  Melody’s smile collapses like a straw house in the wind, and she blinks back at me. I think she is about to cry but find it hard to care. She brought my nightmare into my house without even warning me. She made it so perfectly clear that she is not half as impressed with me as she is with my sister.

  “I think it’s amazing, Mom.” Bailey rushes to console our mother, hugging her tight. “Don’t worry. It’ll grow on Daria.”

  Via looks around and tentatively joins Mel and Bailey, rubbing Mel’s back the same way she did mine this afternoon.

  “Yes, Mrs. Followhill. I’m sure she is just shocked.”

  “I’m not shocked. I’m a little offended she’d think I’d voluntarily drive this thing. It looks like a giant clitoris.”

  Penn bursts out laughing, and Dad reluctantly joins him even though he tries to cover his mouth with his fist. They elbow each other to stop, but it does nothing more than throw them into a rowdier version of hysterics.

  Bailey’s eyes widen, and Via somehow manages to fake a blush. Great. I’m uniting them against me. Via must be thrilled. She is probably inwardly dancing the cha-cha.

  Mel looks up at me, her eyes glistening. She pays no attention to Via and Bailey, who are fussing around her, but it’s too late. The damage has been done.

  “What do you want from me, Daria?” she asks, so quiet I can barely hear her.

  “Nothing.”

  Everything.

  “What can I do to make you happy? To get to you?” The plea in her voice is so shrill, it’s tearing me apart. And for a moment, I actually believe her. Until I remember she put me in a school where she screwed her student, brought me a brooding, angry, hot foster brother, then his even angrier, batshit crazy sister, who is my enemy, then ignored and belittled my existence for four years to a point where, at times, I wondered if I was even real anymore.

  “Is my party still on for this weekend?” I pretend not to catch the true meaning of her words. I can’t break down in front of all those people.

  “Yes, but that’s not what I…”

  “Thanks, Mel! Good luck selling this thing. Don’t they say that a vehicle loses half its worth the minute it rolls off the lot?”

  I bounce out of the garage, leaving them behind. I close the door to my room, shoving back the bitterness at not being able to go downstairs to the studio and cry myself to sleep privately because Via’s got the entire place to herself. I fling myself onto my bed, grab my phone, and message Principal Prichard, who is saved under “Prince” on my phone. I have a feeling I’m going back to tri-weekly meetings with him at this rate.

  I need to see you. I’m desperate.

  I’ve never seen him off school grounds, but I don’t know who else to turn to. My friends are fake, Knight and Vaughn will give me the third degree, dragging Dad into this will only put more strain on his relationship with Mel, and Bailey is amazing, but she is too young and too sweet to understand all those dark feelings swirling inside me.

  Tomorrow.

  I can’t wait until tomorrow.

  He types. You made me wait long enough the past couple of weeks. Tomorrow.

  My head falls against my pillows, and I close my eyes, sighing. Shit. I was in la-la land, all-consumed with everything Penn Scully, and was able to dodge Principal Prichard’s many advances. He knew better than to hunt me down in a way that would be too obvious.

  When I hear my door pushed open, I’m expecting Melody or Dad. Maybe Bailey with her naïve Hallmark words of wisdom. But Penn stands in my doorway with his elbow braced against the doorframe. His white V-neck rides up and shows off his incredible V, leading like an arrow to his groin.

  “Are you going to ignore me for the rest of your life?”

  I blink at the ceiling, desperate not to let my traitorous eyes slip to his face. I’m already suffering from PPSD. Post-Penn Scully Disorder. “That’s the plan.”

  “Always knew you were a pussy. Nice to get valid proof.”

  Eat shit, Scully. I’ll give you a second serving, too.

  “I thought we established I had a pussy the other day.”

  “There she is. Hideous little sarcastic monster that you are.”

  “Why are you here, hood rat?” I huff.

  “To talk it out.” He steps into my room and closes the door behind him. I glance at him, just to make sure I didn’t imagine the click. A smile kisses my scowling lips.

  “My dad is going to kill you if he finds out you closed the door.”

  “Best of luck to your dad trying to catch my ass,” he shoots back, unblinking. I right myself and press my back against the headboard. I allow myself an ounce of optimism. Maybe he cares.

  “Why didn’t you tell me about Via?”

  “Didn’t know.”

  He is still standing all the way across the room, and I don’t know if I’m grateful for the space or want him to drown me in a suffocating hug that would steal my breath and give me life all at the same time.

  “You expect me to believe that?”

  “What you do with this information is up to you. I had no idea Via was coming back. Your mom mentioned she was trying to find her a few times, but honestly, she didn’t appear too optimistic, either.”

  “Well, thanks for deflowering me, then ignoring me while you figured the situation out.”

  “You’re welcome,” he says, then looks away at my door, blinking. He lets out a ragged breath, moving his fingers through his hair.

  “Look, it’s all pretty fucked up. Emotions are running high. I wanted to take a step back and figure shit out.”

  “And did you?” The dark chuckle I’m producing actually tastes bitter in my throat.

  “Not by a long shot.”

  I break, tears falling across my cheeks. I wipe my nose with the sleeve of my pale pink cardigan. Penn makes his way to me, jerking me up to my feet and wrapping his arms around me. I drown in him. In his touch. In his body. In his soul.

  “Marx, P
enn. I thought you were using me.”

  “Whoa.” He pretends to pull away for a fraction of a second. “Who said that I’m not?”

  I nuzzle my nose into the hole in his shirt where his heart is and laugh.

  He takes a step back so he can cup my cheeks. Our eyes meet, and my heart accelerates.

  “I’m not even sure how I feel about her being here. It’s like being born with a limp and given a second pair of legs. Supposed to feel good but it’s an actual shitshow. I already learned how to live without, you know?”

  I know.

  I want so badly to tell him that she is just pretending to be good and nice.

  That she threatened to take everything away from me earlier today. The words burn on my tongue, begging to come out. A few months ago, I’d have spilled it all out without batting an eyelash. But I’ve seen all the damage it has caused Penn to be alone. I can’t do this to him. I can’t ruin his chance at reconnecting with his sister, no matter how much I despise her.

  “I know.” I pull him back into our hug because I miss him already. I miss him even when he’s here. There’s not enough of him to satisfy me, and maybe I’m dragging my feet about college because life post-Penn doesn’t even register right now. “Give it time. It’ll get better.”

  And just like that, muscle memory kicks in. My lips find his, and we are kissing. Deep and long and passionate. He groans into my mouth and takes my face in his rough hands, backing us both up to the bed. My knees hit the bed frame, and we both dive onto the mattress, breathless chuckles escaping our lungs. He is straddling me, kissing my neck and chin.

  “Fuck. I missed your lips.”

  “I missed your ass.” I squeeze his ass, biting his lower lip.

  “You’re a solid hobby, Skull Eyes. Just remember that it’s nothing more, and the minute you get attached—that’s around the time I’ll probably cut you off.”

  “See if I care, baby. You’re just a phase. Maybe my future surgeon husband will fix up your broken leg if you ever make it to the NFL.”

  He chuckles, kissing his way to my chest and unbuttoning my cardigan.

  “Maybe he’ll chop it off altogether when I taunt him about how much fun I had inside his wife.”

  “More fun than you had with Adriana?” I pull away, inspecting his eyes.

  “Lima or my classmate?”

  The one your sister said you’re in love with.

  “The latter. As if Adriana Lima would give your ass the time of day.”

  “Are you jealous?”

  “Are you avoiding the question?”

  He drags his teeth down my neck and sinks them into my collarbone. I know he is piercing my skin, marking me for everyone to see and know. The sheer relief washing over me suggests that one of the reasons I felt like I was holding a seven-ton weight of angst on my shoulders the past few days was because I couldn’t be with Penn. And while I’m his hobby, he is turning out to be my…everything. My solace. My good part. My favorite thing about life.

  “Adriana is not a factor here. She’s a permanent fixture in my life that has nothing to do with you. You…” He fists the collar of my cardigan and jerks me to his face. “You’re the best temporary treat I’ve had in a while.”

  “Don’t believe you for a second.” My lips tremble around the words. I have to convince myself that it’s not true.

  He dips his head down, smirking at me.

  “It would be a pleasure to prove to you just how little you mean to me.”

  Our lips are about to lock again when there’s a frantic knock on my door. Penn peels himself off my body, releasing a frustrated groan. Even though he doesn’t give a damn if we get caught, he knows I do. He runs his fingers through his hair, smoothing it back, and shoves a hand into his faded Levi’s to rearrange his hard-on.

  “Yes?” I ask, a little too chirpily, considering the mood I left the garage in. I clear my throat, readjusting my tone. “What?”

  “Daria?” Via’s nervous, fake voice bleeds from the other side of the door. “It’s me. Sylvia. I know I’m probably the last person you want to talk to, but I’d really like to make you feel better.”

  I immediately know that Via saw Penn sneaking into my room and is trying to ruin the moment. It makes perfect sense. She told me herself that I can’t have her twin brother. And to make matters worse, us locking the door just confirmed that we are, in fact, hiding something. I can’t say no to her. Not with Penn here. She is allegedly trying to reach out to me. He can’t know the truth.

  Penn and I exchange looks. There’s hope in his eyes, and it’s crushing me because Via is setting me up for destruction. He is starting to get used to the upgraded version of his sister. He may have known her as a cunning, tongue-in-cheek, driven teenager, but now she is all sunshine and good intentions. He is falling for her when he should be falling for me—in very different ways, but it’s happening, nonetheless.

  I decide to play her game. If she is going to pretend, then so will I.

  “I…” I look around frantically, but looking for what, exactly? I can’t hide her brother anywhere. He is a wide receiver the size of an industrial fridge. My closet is too crowded and full of stuff, and the space under my low bed is tiny. “Let me put something on and unlock the door,” I say as I run to the window and open it for Penn to get out. He is still standing in the middle of the room in all his height and muscled glory. I’m not even sure he could fit through my window, let alone slip through it undetected.

  “For real?” He arches an eyebrow. “I can barely fit through fucking doors, Skull Eyes.”

  “Well, it’s either that or being pushed under my bed or into my closet. Your pick of a high school movie cliché.” I wiggle my eyebrows.

  He smirks, pulling me by the hem of my shirt and kissing me leisurely, with tongue and all, as though his sister is not waiting on the other side of the door.

  Penn squashes my butt, pulling me close to his erection and rubbing my body up and down against it, manhandling me in one hand without even breaking a sweat.

  “You playing nice with Via doesn’t go unnoticed.”

  I cup his dick between us, clutching a little, not enough to hurt but enough to tease the hell out of him. He licks his lips and raises his head skyward, squeezing his eyes shut.

  “It costs me all my patience and goodwill.”

  “I’ll pay you back with my tongue and dick.”

  He steals one last kiss before he fumbles out the window, his laughter rolling on my skin. He is not even pretending to hide himself. Hide us. If he is open about us to Via, then that means he is not ashamed of me. That he is not one hundred percent in her camp.

  I open the door, allowing Via to walk into my domain. I’ve decided I am going to be so nice she’ll want to throw up rainbows and unicorns by the time I’m done with her. If I don’t give her any ammo on me, she’ll eventually get tired of trying.

  Via doesn’t take a moment to appreciate my pink champagne aquarium wall and fancy room—but why would she? She’s already been here, digging through my clothes. She closes the door and throws herself onto my bed as if it belongs to her. She inhales a deep breath, smiling from the throne of my satin pillows and vintage teddy bears.

  “Smells like my brother in here.”

  Does that turn you on, perv?

  I sit on the edge of the bed, knowing somehow she is privy to the fact he’s already left. She doesn’t have the balls to stand up to Penn. I don’t think anyone does.

  “You know, you could take the Jeep.” I examine my perfect French manicure. “Mel is probably not going to return it, so it’ll go to waste.”

  I want my mother to choke on her prejudice against me, thinking I’ll be awful to Via. And if I can kill Via with kindness in the process—well, that’s just a big fat bonus.

  “Ech.” She sticks her tongue out. “That thing was fucking disgusting. No thank you. I don’t know how you deal with that woman. She is so submissive. It was a huge turnoff back then, but it’s a tot
al nuisance nowadays.”

  My mouth goes slack. Did she actually just talk about my mother like that? The woman who invested more in her than in her own daughter? The woman who fought tooth and nail to bring her back? Who housed her? Who freaking jeopardized her relationship with my father and me—both of us guarded by nature—just to save her? My expression probably gives away my shock and disgust because Via explains herself.

  “I vanished four years ago. She only found me, like, a month ago. And not a minute before she took Penn under her wing. Where has she been all this time?”

  I saw Mel mourn Via. It was half the reason I kept mum about what Penn and I did that day. I knew she’d never forgive me. She’d hate my guts and mentally disown me if she knew. I’m not Mel’s biggest fan right now, but even I know that this is bullshit.

  “She tried really hard to find you when you disappeared,” I say in what I hope to hell is an even tone. “She is not your mother.”

  “Thank God. Imagine if I’d have inherited her thighs, like you.” She springs off my bed and saunters toward the aquarium. She taps it with her finger, watching the bubbles rising from the oxygen tank below. “Ever wonder what would happen if you put a hammer into this thing?”

  “No,” I snap.

  “Hmm.” A faraway smile curves on her lips before she returns her attention to me, twisting her head in my direction. “As I said before, you can’t date my brother. Correction—you can’t even fuck my brother. You’re just a piece of ass for him, and even though you have zero self-respect, I’m here to tell you that even you can do better. Adriana would never let it happen, and she is the girl he’ll eventually marry and take to college with him. She gave birth to his kid, for crying out loud. Stop embarrassing yourself and finish this stupid thing with him. Today.”

  “What did they feed you in Mississippi? Acid and delusions?” I examine my nails, trying to come off as blasé. “What if I liked to be used? What if he’s only a piece of ass for me, too?”

  She stares at me in bewilderment as if I just revealed a piece of information that is completely new to her.