Confessions

by Amber Stephens

  Helena was breathing even more heavily now, and had stopped glaring at me. She was staring at my crotch and lifting her hips in time with my rhythmic strokes. The good doctor pushed my head forward, letting me know what he wanted to see. Without removing my fingers from her snatch, I lowered my head and began teasing her labia with my tongue. ‘Oh my God,’ she said, in a mixture of horror and lust. My tongue was swimming with her juices. I was sure I could taste something else as well. Dr Marks’ pre-cum perhaps. Helena began humping her pussy down on my fingers. I slipped a third in for good measure and she growled with appreciation.

  Then I felt the doctor’s cock drive into me from behind. It felt so good it put me off my rhythm and Helena whined in protest. I got back into it, Dr Marks going easy on me. ‘Fuck yes,’ he said.

  Helena came first with a great, rib-cracking groan. I continued lapping at her clitoris and pumping my hand into her until the last throes had died and she begged for me to stop. I shifted up slightly and kissed her full on the mouth. She kissed back hungrily, licking her juices off my chin. This was too much for Dr Marks, who came inside me with a swelling of his penis. He stopped pumping and held himself deep inside me for half-a-minute as his cock twitched and spasmed.

  ‘That was incredible,’ he said, after withdrawing. I stood up, wondering how Helena was going to be now the orgasm was over. We released her and she stood and glared at me. Then she slapped me across the face. She turned and gave Dr Marks the same treatment. ‘That’s for forcing me into your sordid little sex-game,’ she told us. Dr Marks looked aggrieved. I smiled and shrugged. If that was the worst I was getting I was okay.

  Then Helena kissed me again. ‘That’s for giving me the best orgasm I’ve ever had.’

  ‘Really? I asked, thinking she was being a tad melodramatic. ‘Oh yes,’ she said.

  ‘Well, if it’s that good, then strap me down and do the same to me.’

  She hesitated for a minute then nodded. ‘You up for it?’ I asked Dr Marks. He looked down at his half-flaccid tool. ‘Let me take a little something and I’ll be ready in five minutes.’ He went to his jacket pocket.

  ‘We may as well get started,’ Helena said. ‘Take your clothes off.’ I did so. She inspected my tits. ‘I’ve never touched another woman’s breasts,’ she said.

  ‘Go ahead,’ I replied.

  She took hold of them, weighing each one and stroking the nipples till they were hard. Dr Marks had taken his pill and was watching us. I could see he was already stiffening at the show.

  ‘Get on the bed,’ Helena ordered.

  She took her time strapping me down. The wrist bands were tight and I winced as she yanked them. Then she lifted my legs into the stirrups, pulled them apart and strapped me in, eyeing my shaven pussy and imagining what it was going to be like, eating that. When I was firmly strapped in, she leaned over and took my chin in her hands. ‘Okay bitch,’ she said. ‘Now you’re going to see what it feels like.’

  I couldn’t wait.

  She turned to see the doctor was nearly ready and stepped in between my thighs. She leaned over me and kissed me on the mouth, biting my lip hard until it hurt. ‘You’re a quick learner,’ I said.

  ‘I’ve done this with my boyfriend,’ she said. Then she dropped her head to my snatch and jabbed her hot little tongue into my pussy.

  She was good for a virgin. I wanted to grab her head and thrust it against my mound, but strapped down, I was totally at her mercy. She looked up at me as she lapped.

  ‘Does she taste good?’ The doctor said. He’d come over and was stroking his erection. Helena nodded. She kept licking until I was twisting in ecstasy against the straps, then she pulled away.

  The doctor took his opportunity and moved into position. I stared fixedly at his cock. It twitched as his heart pumped more and more blood into it. He positioned himself, then slowly slipped it into me. ‘Yes,’ I remember saying, ‘yes, yes, yes.’

  Helena came around and stroked my clitoris as Marks slammed into me, the stirrups allowing him to slide right up to the hilt. I came in shuddering gasps, delirious at the attention I was getting. It had been a long time for me since I’d come, and I felt the tension release from my body like an uncoiling spring.

  My plan had worked perfectly, except for one thing. I hadn’t counted on Dr Marks being even more of a pervert than I’d taken him for. I hadn’t realised he’d placed a camera on a filing cabinet even before he’d got Helena to take off her clothes. Neither of us knew anything about it until we were hauled into the administrator’s office individually and informed of the fact it had come to his attention there was a video clip available on the internet which had clearly been filmed in the maternity room and which featured two nurses and a locum doctor. Marks had long since returned to Sydney, where he had evidently decided the clip was worth showing to a friend, who posted it on the net, and next thing we knew half the sex fiends in Australia were watching our tender little threesome.

  I wasn’t too bothered about that, though it upset me to see Helena utterly crushed. I blamed myself and she blamed me too, even though it had been Dr Marks’ video. We were both fired of course. She left town that night, and I left the next day. I went back to Darwin and phoned my brother Aidan.

  ‘I need help,’ I said. Though until the moment I actually said it I hadn’t really thought I did. Once I accepted the truth though, I just sat back and let Aidan take charge. I told him everything of course. He’s always been the only one I fully trust in our family. I was obviously not capable of running my own life, so I decided to let him do it for me. He sent me the fare to get back to London. By the time I’d touched down, he’d booked me into this place.

  And here I am.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Shelley sat back in her chair, utterly drained.

  Had anyone believed a word of it? It didn’t sound very convincing to her. Who has sex with their head hanging out of a helicopter for Christ’s sake? But then again none of the previous confessionals had sounded exactly commonplace. Well, she didn’t really care if they believed her now. Her ordeal was over.

  ‘Thank you, Shelley,’ Verity said. ‘I knew you could do it. Now everyone, we’ve over-run a bit, so straight to lunch, then back here at two-thirty for “Filling the Hole with Friendship.”’

  Cian came over.

  ‘You keep on surprising me, Ms Carter,’ he said.

  Cliff and Cheryl were next. She stood and hugged each of them in turn. ‘I’m so glad we met you, Shelley,’ Cheryl said.

  Larry rushed up and wrapped his arms around Shelley, giving her an enormous bear hug. He said nothing but as he let go and walked off Shelley was sure she saw a little tear in his eye.

  Abigail stood before Shelley and nodded stiffly.

  ‘Well done, Shelley. You’re a tough cookie.’ Shelley smiled back at her.

  Coming from Abigail, herself tougher than fossilised biltong, that was the ultimate accolade.

  ‘I knew you could do it, Shelley,’ said Will.

  Rose approached her last and gave her a huge hug.

  ‘To think I’ve been sleeping a couple of metres away from you for the last six nights. See you in the dining room?’

  ‘Yes, I’ll be along in a minute or two,’ Shelley replied.

  She sat until the room was empty, then rested her face in her hands; she could feel the tension drain out of her. As she lifted her head, she realised someone was standing in the doorway, watching her.

  It was Dr Galloway.

  ‘Oh hello, Doctor,’ she said brightly. Had he been listening the whole time?

  He smiled, baring his teeth. ‘Hello, Nurse Carter,’ he replied.

  Uh-oh.

  ‘It is Nurse Carter isn’t it? We haven’t got that wrong, have we?’

  ‘I don’t know what you mean, Dr Galloway,’ she blustered.

  ‘Oh, cut the act,’ he said, smiling. ‘Come with me.’

  Shelley hesitated but figured she had little choice. He led her down the h
all, out of the back doors and across the gardens to his office. Galloway showed her to a chair and sat behind his desk.

  ‘I’ve been doing some research, Ms Carter,’ he began, picking up a manila folder.

  How should she play this? Come clean, or go defensive?

  ‘And?’

  ‘Over the last few days I’ve checked every possible nursing register in the country. None of them have you listed. Maybe it was a mistake, I thought, and checked with the Warrumbungleburra General Hospital Infirmary and do you know what?’

  Shelley shrugged.

  ‘No one had heard of it. Isn’t that strange?’

  Shelley looked mystified, but said nothing.

  ‘Perhaps she’s using a false name, I thought to myself, not uncommon in these situations, so when your brother arrived to see you, I made sure our helpful receptionist checked his ID. Aidan Carter his name was, so that seemed to indicate you were using your real name.’

  Galloway paused and waited for Shelley to respond, but she just sat and smiled as evenly as she could. She wanted to know where this was heading. Apparently Galloway still didn’t know she was a journalist. Quite frankly she didn’t care much if she was thrown off the course now. She got what she came here for, more than that in fact. Shelley felt she was a stronger person than when she’d arrived, she was ready for whatever Galloway had to throw at her.

  ‘When Sandra came to see me and told me you were carrying around a BlackBerry, I thought you must be a journalist, come to get some juicy gossip on our more famous patients. So I came to listen to your confessional.’

  Dr Galloway stood and walked around to the front of his desk, where he perched, once again. He continued.

  ‘I’ve been working with drug abusers and sex addicts for twenty years now. I can spot a lie from a mile off. God knows, most of them are habitual liars. But when I listened to you today I could tell you weren’t making it up.’

  Shelley nearly fell off her chair.

  ‘Oh yes. You obviously made up many of the names and the settings, I don’t think you’ve ever worked in a hospital for example. But I could tell you had experienced all of the sex acts you described. You may not be a nurse, but you genuinely have a problem.’

  Shelley stared at him blankly. ‘We … well,’ she stammered. ‘You’re right there. I most certainly do.’

  He smiled at her, eyes twinkling. ‘A helicopter, for heaven’s sake, you are quite some girl.’

  ‘So you won’t say anything about this? I can continue with the course?’

  Shelley didn’t really want to continue with the course, but she was on a tightrope. It wouldn’t take much more digging for him to find out who she really was, and then he could make things decidedly unpleasant. Legal action to force her to can the story was the most likely.

  Galloway tilted his head and looked thoughtful. ‘Well, that depends,’ he said.

  ‘On what?’ Shelley replied..

  ‘With cases as severe as yours, Shelley, I often recommend a series of one-on-one intense sessions, where we work through the manifestations of the addiction together.’

  ‘Erm, okay,’ said Shelley. In the back of her mind, she was thinking of more material for the column.

  ‘It would involve you … shall we say, reliving some of your experiences and fantasies with me. Just so I can get an intimate knowledge of the worst excesses of your sexual depravities.’

  The penny dropped. Shelley stared back at him open-mouthed. ‘Are you suggesting you and I …’

  ‘We can start off with the doctor and nurse fantasy you seem so obsessed with. I think I can rustle up a spare uniform. Size ten are you?’

  Shelley stood. ‘How dare you?’

  Galloway remained unperturbed. ‘Of course, if you refuse the hands-on assistance I am offering you, we could look at more difficult treatments. These would be longer-term, and might include a stay at another establishment.’

  ‘This is blackmail,’ she said.

  Galloway shook his head. ‘No, this is negotiation. I’m just trying to help you out,’ he replied. ‘It might not be so bad.’ He watched her face closely.

  Shelley shook her head. Galloway was a very good-looking man, for sure, and if he’d asked her back to his place after a drink or two she would have said yes without hesitation. But not on these terms.

  ‘So Sandra told you I had a BlackBerry, did she?’

  ‘She did indeed,’ he said.

  ‘Did she tell you what sort of BlackBerry it was?’

  He frowned. ‘Are there different types?’

  ‘Oh yes,’ Shelley said. ‘Some of them have all sorts of additional extras, like web browsers, or phones, or … cameras.’

  Something in her tone obviously tipped him off, because he twitched uncomfortably. Shelley turned around slowly and looked up at the little side window through which she’d seen Galloway getting a blow job from Verity Parrish.

  ‘I wonder what sort of image one might get if one pointed a camera through that window at around … ooh, say one-thirty yesterday afternoon?’

  Now it was Galloway’s turn to look gobsmacked. He glanced down towards Shelley’s pockets, obviously considering trying to grab the device.

  ‘Too late,’ Shelley said, smiling sweetly. ‘I e-mailed it to my Hotmail account this morning.’

  Shelley was hoping desperately that Galloway wouldn’t demand to see the BlackBerry. She wasn’t even sure there was such a thing as a BlackBerry with a camera. But apparently neither was the Irish doctor.

  ‘This is blackmail,’ he spat.

  ‘No,’ Shelley replied. ‘This is negotiation.’

  ‘And what if I refuse?’ he asked, visibly trying to stay calm.

  ‘Do what you like,’ Shelley said, casually inspecting her nails. ‘But be aware of two things. One, that I will never, ever sleep with you. And two, that I have no concern whatsoever for my own reputation. I have nothing to lose in that regard.’

  Finished, she sat and watched his face as he struggled to still a nervous tic in the corner of his right eye.

  Eventually he responded. ‘Fine, I will say nothing if you keep those images to yourself.’

  Shelley turned to leave, but then stopped and turned back. ‘Oh, I’ll need that Section Four document back. I don’t want you holding that over my head.’

  ‘I don’t have it,’ he said. ‘Dr Jones has that in her office.’

  Shelley headed straight for Dr Jones’ office. In the hall she ran into Rose, on her way back to the Mountain Room.

  ‘Hi Shell, where did you disappear to? We missed you at lunch.’

  ‘Sorry Rose, I’ll explain it all later. I have some personal matters to deal with.’

  ‘Is this to do with that man who came to see you?’

  ‘In a way, yes,’ Shelley said, giving Rose’s arm a squeeze before running up the carpeted stairs two at a time.

  Shelley knocked on Dr Jones’ office door. ‘Come in,’ a fragile voice called from inside.

  Shelley stepped in, wondering if she might find Dr Jones as ‘tired and emotional’ as she had last time. But the doctor looked in reasonable shape.

  ‘Ah, Ms …’

  ‘Carter,’ Shelley said. She walked in and stood before Dr Jones’ desk. ‘I’ve come to ask you to discharge me.’

  ‘Oh?’ Jones said, peering at her quizzically. ‘And you are on which programme?’

  ‘I’m a sex addict,’ Shelley said. ‘But I’m not dangerous, I am in complete control of myself and don’t feel happy about being trapped here, against my will. Dr Galloway agrees.’

  ‘Does he now?’

  ‘Yes, he does. I just went to see him. Call him if you like.’

  ‘Well, I’m afraid it’s not up to Dr Galloway, it’s up to me. And I will not consider discharging you until I’ve received notification from Ms Parrish that your treatment has been successful.’

  Shelley had been worried about this. She liked Verity and didn’t want to drag her into this. There was nothing e
lse for it; she’d have to go nuclear.

  ‘This centre is run by a private trust, is it not?’

  ‘Yes, what does that have to do with anything?’ asked Dr Jones.

  ‘I just wondered what the Trustees would say if they were given evidence that the Medical Director of their precious institution kept a bottle of gin in her top left drawer.’

  Dr Jones went still as a statue, then she reached for a drawer. Shelley thought she was going for the gin, but instead she pulled out a file and flipped it open. She pulled out the form, scribbled something across it, signed and dated it and handed it to Shelley.

  ‘Thank you,’ Shelley said politely and turned to leave

  ‘It’s a shame you didn’t complete the course,’ Dr Jones said. ‘Looking through your file, you certainly need help with your sex problems.’

  Shelley said nothing and walked out. She went to her room, packed up her belongings and walked to the stairs.

  I’m free, she thought. I completed the assignment, I pulled it off. I had everyone believing I was a globe-trotting slut. I’ve almost certainly knocked the smile off Freya’s face. I’ve done it.

  But as she reached the bottom of the stairs, she heard a man’s laugh from the Mountain Room. Cian. Then she heard an angry woman’s voice. Abigail. Then, after a pause, the entire group clapped and cheered. Shelley felt she was missing something. She opened her bag and took out the Section Four form. At the bottom, Dr Jones had scribbled ‘Treatment successful. Discharged.’

  Treatment successful. Shelley thought. Well, sort of. In the last week she’d dated a rock star, kissed one woman and shown her bare arse to another. She’d masturbated at the thought of a porn star’s antics and invented a debauched persona for herself that she’d felt strangely comfortable with.

  But was she cured? She didn’t want to be a sex addict, but maybe she’d learned something from those who were. Maybe she’d learned that there was a middle ground to be discovered. That sex with ugly people could be fun. That no one was out of your league if you were prepared to give them what they wanted, that it was okay to love yourself, that sometimes cheaters weren’t the worst people in the world, that aggression had its part in life and sex. That sometimes you had to look outside your comfort zone.