Lady Catherine sat by Julie’s bed, bathing her head in cool water and holding her hand while she fought for her life. Two days later, Maggie returned from Aberdeen and relieved her at Julie’s bedside. Julie fought on, her fever raging.
* * *
On the fifth day, sometime near daybreak, Julie’s fever broke, and she opened her eyes to find both Lady Catherine and Maggie sitting beside her bed, anxiously staring at her.
During their celebration that she had awakened, the doctor arrived and confirmed Julie had indeed reached her crisis and promised a good recovery.
Foremost on Julie’s mind was her unborn child. “Doctor, what about my child?”
Doctor Mudd said, “I think I can relieve your mind, my dear. After examining you thoroughly, I feel safe in saying the child is very active and alive. I don’t think you have any worries. However, we’ll know more when the baby is born.”
Julie was too weak to stay awake for more than an hour or two at a time. Every time she woke up, she found either Maggie or Lady Catherine waiting by her bedside ready to stuff more food into her.
Her trunks arrived with her new wardrobe. Maggie displayed her new clothes for her and placed them in drawers or hung them up. Julie began to feel alive again and restless. After napping so much during the day, she found it impossible to sleep at night.
She spent the dark hours thinking of Matthew and wanting to feel his touch. She lay alone in her bed with her own personal demons. Too weak to get up, she tossed and turned until she wore herself out. She felt if only she could see Matthew and feel his touch just once more, she would be strong enough to go on.
Lady Catherine arrived each morning with a smile on her face and a cheery “Good morning, dear.” She opened the windows and let in the fresh sea air. She looked at Julie and shook her head. “You didn’t sleep much again last night, did you?”
“I can’t seem to rest. I think I’m all slept out. If I could just get up and walk around, I think I could get my strength back sooner,” Julie said wearily.
“You know what the doctor said. You must rest. He will tell us when it is safe for you to get up. You have to think of the baby too,” Lady Catherine said.
She fluffed and tidied Julie’s bed. “I know what we can do. Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I just move to another bed. We’ll move you into Lord Blair’s room. It has a nice view, and you can watch the sea from your bed. He always enjoyed that room…” Her voice trailed off, lost in her own thoughts and memories.
The servants carried Julie on a chair to the other side of the house. And with a hive of activity soon all her clothes were deposited in the new room. Huge floor to ceiling mullioned windows with rounded tops did indeed offer a breathtaking view.
Julie lay in her bed and watched the sea. Occasionally, she caught a glimpse of sailing ships with their tall sails unfurled or sea gulls diving in the breeze. The sunshine flooded her room with warmth. Less than two weeks ago she’d felt she would never feel dry or warm again. If not for the emptiness inside her that Matthew left, she would be the happiest person alive.
She knew she would have to face the rest of her life without him. Perhaps he would miss her for a while, but then he would get on with his life just as she would. There would always be a part of her that would be empty. She laid her hand on her stomach and felt her baby move. She smiled, thinking of the child that would fill her life, and she knew she would always have a part of Matthew with her in this child. She hoped in time he would hold a place in his heart for her and not hate her as he did now.
* * *
Matthew and Ribble arrived in the city of Aberdeen to find it overrun with soldiers and opportunists looking for ways to collect the reward the king offered for the Scottish rebels. The reward promised to make a simple man wealthy. In the Highlands, a Scotsman would give his life before he would betray his countrymen. These loyalties were not to be found in the city, where everything had a price—including loyalty.
Matthew and Ribble made camp in the woods near the main road into Aberdeen. “Ye cannae walk into town looking like ye do. Someone’s bound ta spot ye. Yer face’ll be on posters all over the town. I was thinking I could go into town alone and buy some old clothes and supplies for a disguise. If we dressed differently, we could walk the streets without too much notice. Aberdeen is a big place. What would it matter if there were two more beggars on her streets?” Ribble continued to poke at the fire without looking at Matthew.
“Go ahead first thing in the morning. We need a way to walk about and ask questions without people being suspicious,” Matthew said distractedly.
Matthew hated being idle and not being in command of his life. I think I’ll go mad if I don’t find her soon. If she’s made it through, then I have to know. Curse my stupid pride. I let her get away. If something has happened to her, I’ll have to live with that on my conscience. I don’t know if I can. I have to find her and apologize for the hurt I’ve caused her.
Somehow, I have to make her see how much I love her.
Julie was his reason for being here. He thought she might come this way. He lay awake half the night thinking. She could be anywhere, even under my nose. If she sees me first, she’ll hide. What will I do if I never see her again? Since we’ve been apart, I wonder if she has thought of me with anything but hate. I know I deserve it, but if I could just find her and make sure she is all right and cared for, then I’ll leave her alone. It would be the best for her…and me.
He kept telling himself this, but he wasn’t sure if he believed it.
Ribble left in the morning. He took both horses with him to sell in the town. They had nowhere to stable and feed them. He returned that afternoon with food and supplies. After considering their plans, they decided not to clean up. Their slovenly appearance would only add to their disguises.
Ribble had visited a theatrical company and obtained a beard for Matthew until he could grow one, and a makeup kit. Matthew put streaks of gray in his beard and hair using a powder obtained from the theatrical company. He exchanged his clothes for the ones Ribble bought from the secondhand store. He swapped his well-made comfortable Hessian boots, shined with loving care by Ribble’s own hands, for rough-made boots that had never seen polish and contained holes in the soles. He leaned on a crutch and took inches off his height. No one would recognize him as the fashionable gentleman he had once been. Not even his own mother could have identified him.
Ribble also exchanged his clothes for the shabby secondhand apparel he brought from the town. His clothes were not as well made as Matthew’s, but they were of good quality as befitted his station in life. His boots were a source of pride to Matthew’s valet, and he knew it galled him to have to take them off. Reluctantly, Ribble pulled on the rough, shoddy boots of a beggar. He combed his hair down in his face and placed a patch over one eye. With the help of the actors’ makeup kit, he put a scar across his cheek. When he held his jaw a little slack, it changed his appearance even more so.
Matthew hobbled while Ribble walked slowly behind him, dragging one foot and carrying a tin cup. Together they passed without notice of the redcoats milling around the entrance to Aberdeen. They lost themselves in the crowds dotting the city’s bustling thoroughfares.
Instead of eating in the best restaurants as Matthew once had, he and Ribble ate from the food vendors positioned along the streets. The food was usually greasy and of poor quality, but it filled the void while they roamed the streets looking in each shop for a glimpse of Julie.
They waited in doorways during the day and just watched the people on the streets. Ribble held out his tin cup to each passerby, and each time one put a coin in his cup he chuckled. It worried Matthew at how well he had taken on his role of beggar.
By night, they gathered around the communal fires in the different parts of town. Warming their hands, they tried to talk to some of the homeless people, but they found them unwilling to speak to strangers. Some appeared scared or confused and some were simply hostile.
They had now been in the city for a week, and they were getting nowhere. No one seemed to have heard of Lady Catherine Blair, and it was impossible to describe Julie so that she appeared recognizable from a hundred other boys on the streets. Discouraged, Matthew decided to try another town.
They started walking, determined to cover methodically each town in a fifty-mile radius of Aberdeen. Mrs. Parsons said the town was near Aberdeen. Perhaps Julie knew the name of the town and headed there, not stopping in the larger city.
In some places they were shunned or run out of town. In others, children threw rocks at them or they were chased by village dogs. In a few towns they were simply ignored. Even the few residents they found who would answer their questions knew nothing of Lady Blair. Some had heard the name but could not remember where she lived. They continued their search going north and then working their way west and south.
After four months, they made their way to Banchory, south of Aberdeen, and stopped to rest in the shade of a tree before going into town. While they lay resting in the shade, a peddler woke them up coming down the road with pots and pans banging against each other, causing an awful din. He too decided to seek the shade of the oak for a short rest.
“Shove off, peddler,” Ribble growled. “Sit downwind of us, ye old mud turtle. The stench of ye offends me nib.”
Not to be outdone nor moved from his spot the peddler replied, “From where I sit, I would not mistake ye for a rose garden. At least me sweat comes from honest work, not begging for me bread.”
Ribble grabbed the peddler by his collar and yelled in his face, “I ken the difference between an honest beggar and robbing people with yer high-priced wares. I am what I am. I dinnae dress up and walk among gentle folk and rob ’em blind.”
He started to throw the distressed peddler out into the road, but Matthew came between them and caught Ribble by the shoulder. Still growling and muttering to himself, he let the peddler go and returned to the shade. The peddler collapsed beside Matthew.
Matthew offered the man a drink from his bottle. The peddler gladly accepted, but he did so keeping one eye on Ribble at all times.
“Where do ye peddle your wares?” Matthew questioned. What better person to ask about Julie than someone who made a living traveling from town to town.
“I travel the ways and byways of all o’ Scotland. I visit farmhouses and villages for miles around. If’n ye got the brass, I have just what ye’re needin’.”
“I’m looking for someone who came through here maybe four months ago. It’s my son. He ran away from home, and now I have to fetch him back. Thinks to run out on his old da,” Matthew whined. “Could be ye seed him? He looks like any other boy exceptin’ he’s got big green eyes and kind of copper-colored hair. That being the first thing people notice about him. He ought to be in this area somewhere.”
“This boy of your’n, would he be a wee bit cheeky?” the peddler asked suspiciously.
“It sounds like the lad. Do ye remember where he was going?” Matthew asked with renewed hope.
The peddler rubbed his chin. “Ye ken, a peddler sells many things.” He watched Matthew for a reaction. “I’m a poor man. I have ta make me living where I can.”
“Would this gold coin help your memory, old man?” Matthew asked.
He held the coin in his hand for the peddler to see. The peddler’s eyes glittered when he snatched the coin away and bit it to make sure it was real. Quickly, with stealth, the coin disappeared in his pocket quicker than a cat could lick its paw. “I like a man who knows what he wants and how to get it. Let me see. I remember this one lad asking the way to Stonehaven. I cannae be held responsible if it ain’t the same lad. He did have green eyes, but he dinnae give me a name. Very rude he was, come to think of it.”
“Thanks, peddler, keep the bottle. We must be on our way,” Matthew said.
He tapped Ribble on the shoulder and motioned for him to follow. They had many miles to go before they would be in the vicinity of Stonehaven. It could be another wild goose chase. Matthew tried to prepare himself for this, but the excitement welling up in him gave him hope for the first time since he’d started this journey.
They stopped in Portlethen at the only tavern in the village, and were able to get a room for the night. For a consideration, the chambermaid agreed to clean their clothes and draw a bath for both men.
Ribble purchased fresh horses and hobbled them in the woods to graze not too far from the tavern. After a bath and a hot meal, they laid down for a few hours’ rest. About an hour before first light, Matthew and Ribble went down the back stairs of the tavern and crossed the field to where their horses were tied. They saddled up and headed south toward Stonehaven.
Chapter Twelve
Julie’s strength increased each day under the collective and watchful eyes of Lady Catherine and Maggie. She could go for short walks along the beach without getting too tired. And lately, she filled her days sitting for hours on the beach.
Watching the sea, she wondered where the ships could be going. She could see them along the horizon with their sails unfurled. What would it be like to be a sailor, and what would a sailor dream?
Her thoughts always came back to Matthew. I wonder if Matthew is all right and if he has left Scotland safely. Maybe he’s on one of the ships I’ve seen.
She liked being alone, away from watchful eyes. It felt good not to be fussed over. She could not put into words the ever-present ache in her heart. Julie also wondered what her life would be like with the baby. She felt it kicking and smiled. Each time the baby fluttered inside of her, she felt contentment.
“I love you, my little one. I wonder what you’ll look like when you’re born. Will you be a boy or a girl? I would like to have a girl, but my intuition tells me I will have a boy. I hope you look just like your father.”
Matthew, of course, would expect it to be a boy. She smiled at that thought. But with less than a month left she still did not have a name picked out.
She frowned and said, “My little one, you will never know your father, but I will tell you every day how much I love you and your father. Love gave you to me, and love will keep us.”
Today, like many days before, she’d found a comfortable spot in the warm sand and sat down. Leaning against a rock gave her back support, and she needed this support more often these days. She felt on edge, and her back had been hurting her since before daybreak. She relaxed a little in the sun, and rejoiced when her back eased its continuous throb.
Julie closed her eyes and thought of Matthew. She never thought about how it ended, only the way it began. She always did this when she needed strength. Somehow she felt close to him today. She almost expected him to appear on the beach in front of her. From the moment they met, she felt an abiding kinship with him. If there was such a thing as soul mates, she believed he was hers.
* * *
Lady Catherine put down her petit point and looked out the window to where Julie sat on the beach. Maggie said, “A penny for your thoughts.”
“Maggie, you know, I’m glad the child came our way. I shiver to think what could have become of her if she went off on her own. For the most part, she seems happy, but I can’t help but worry just the same. I’ve seen the sadness in those big green eyes when she thinks no one is looking. I wish Lord Blair could be here. He would know what to do with this Matthew of Julie’s. He would call this Lord Bonnleigh on the carpet and make him see the error of his ways. Lord Blair was a man to be reckoned with,” she said softly.
Maggie left her alone to answer a knock at the door. Lost in her memories, Lady Catherine looked up, startled, when Maggie burst into the room. Her face was red, and she was wringing her hands. Lady Catherine braced herself for the hysterics to follow.
“My lady, will there be no end to the r-r-riff-raff continuously p-p-pounding on our d-d-door?” Maggie always stuttered when she was upset. “There are t-t-two, uh, gentlemen to see you, and I use the t-t-term loosely
for they have no c-c-cards, and they are not dressed properly for calling. They wouldnae give me their names, but insisted they wouldnae leave until they spoke with you. Shall I send for the s-s-sheriff, my lady?”
Before Lady Catherine could answer, the door flew open and two men entered. An enigmatic smile crossed her face while she surveyed the two men before her.
“That will do, Maggie. I will be glad to talk to the gentlemen. Perhaps the taller gentleman could use a bit of refreshment in the kitchen. While you’re there, please bring my other guest some refreshment,” Lady Catherine ordered.
Lady Catherine placed the man who she thought might be Julie’s Matthew in a seat by a window where he could not possibly miss seeing Julie on the beach. He did not look out of the window as she hoped, but he continued to study her intently. Annoyed with the inability of men to take nothing but the most blatant hints, she turned from the window and looked back at him.
“Please forgive my intrusion, but I had to see you, and if you know anything about me, you understand why I could not give my name to your servant. However, I am willing to take my chances with you if you require it.”
“If I am speaking to Lord Bonnleigh, then I do indeed know why, and I suppose I must excuse your barging into my home. Nevertheless, why are you here, sir?”
Lady Catherine appeared to be made of granite sitting opposite Matthew. He thought of everything he had planned to say, and he’d run it through his mind a thousand times, but across from this formidable lady, he felt tongue-tied. He could see so much of Julie in her.
“I have reason to believe you are the aunt of Juliana Hastings, and since you know my name, I assume she is here, or at least you have been in touch with her,” Matthew queried anxiously.
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