by Otter Lieffe
Seeing Pinar's concerned look, she put her hand on her shoulder and gave a weak smile.
“Stay and be sociable. I'll see you at the tent.”
And with that, Ash left the warmth of the fire.
* * *
It was night. The mesa had finished hours ago and those with homes in the City—including Danny and Kit—had gone back to them. The rest were spread out in a village of tents across the park.
Although nobody really expected any trouble out here, selected people took hourly shifts guarding the perimeter. After the warehouse and the news about the Sett, they couldn't be too safe.
Inside their little tent, Ash and Pinar were curled up together on their sleeping mats. Pinar snored lightly. But Ash was gone.
Her body was cold and she was somewhere else, far away. Not yet asleep, not yet dreaming, she was travelling back to another time and another place. To a distant continent she had once called home.
She stood in the doorway of a loud café, packed to the brim, every seat taken. She instantly recognised this place from photos, from legends. And here she was, instantly seduced by the unique smell of coffee brewing in the middle of the night mixed with perfume and fried food.
Compton Cafeteria, 101 Taylor Street, San Francisco.
It's just as I imagined.
The café was loud with the screams and giggles of trans people, sex workers, and others who gathered here every night for safety.
I'm here. I can't believe it.
Ash saw someone who reminded her of herself as a young adult—a woman of maybe eighteen—sitting in the cheap, cushioned booths of the café surrounded by friends. The young trans woman was dressed to the nines and had long hair cascading over a dark blue satin dress and wore long white gloves and killer heels.
She looks just like me. She even smiles like I used to.
Two loud couples got up to pay and Ash sat down in their booth and picked up a newspaper they'd left on the table.
August, 1966, just as I thought.
Although the precise date of the riot had been lost in history, Ash remembered it perfectly. It was a date that she could never forget because right now, on the other side of the city under bright hospital lights, Ash was being born.
As always, she was here in the past only as an observer and nobody seemed to notice her presence. Her clothes were completely wrong for the time, but here everybody's clothes were considered wrong most of the time, and nobody paid any attention to an old person sat alone at a booth. Seconds ago, I must have just appeared in the doorway like a vision—I wasn't there and then suddenly I was.
But after a lifetime of travelling like this, Ash knew that people had a way of filtering out what they didn't expect.
And magically appearing and disappearing trans women are about as unexpected as anything can be.
A sullen waitress came by and served Ash some coffee without really making eye contact or particularly seeing her. Ash picked up the cup and gratefully sipped at the bitter liquid.
I'd almost forgotten what fresh, strong coffee could taste like.
And the feel of the cup, the sticky table, the smoke in her lungs brought a wave of nostalgia.
Although she'd been too young to see the café before it closed down, this place had been so important for the trans community she grew up in. It had been virtually their own safe space. She watched the young trans woman making her single cup of coffee last forever, gossiping with her friends.
At her age, I had friends like that too. Friends who took care of me as a young trans girl newly out in the big city. Friends who took me in when I had nothing. Friends who sometimes disappeared from one night to the next and were never heard from again.
Over by the front door there was a scuffle and raised voices. Ash could see flashing police lights through the shuttered windows.
Tonight's definitely the night.
The young woman and her friends were on their feet. A white cop was arresting someone they apparently knew—a tall, black trans woman in impossibly high platforms—and Ash heard the all-too-familiar words 'female impersonation' and 'public disturbance' as the cop pushed her up against the bar, tearing her long dress under his boots.
He reached down for the handcuffs in his belt, when, as if in slow motion, a delicate cup smashed against his head. Hot coffee splashed over his uniform. He dropped the handcuffs, turned and stared, but was too shocked to even react.
The young woman Ash had been watching stared at the cop looking almost as surprised as he was. Then she reached behind her, picked up another coffee cup and threw that one as well. The cop opened his mouth to shout when a greasy plate bounced off his chest. A piece of pie, a stiletto.
Suddenly, everyone in the room was on their feet shouting. More cops ran in. More plates were thrown. Waitresses screamed and dove behind the bar. And within minutes, the whole building was in chaos.
Ash wanted desperately to do something, but she held herself back. She watched the young woman grabbed by a cop from behind. She lifted off the ground but kicked another with her heels. She fought and screamed with all the rage she had inside her.
The arrests, the harassment, the sexual assaults.
She kicked and kicked, part of a wave of angry bodies pushing the cops towards the door.
The trumped-up charges, the poverty, the discrimination.
She pushed and they pushed back until finally the cops were back outside and for a few, brief seconds they had taken their space back.
Trans folk and hustlers filled the street with their screams and cries and curses. Tonight would belong to them and they weren't giving it back without a fight.
After tonight, trans rights, trans visibility, trans pride would be on everyone's lips—at least for a while.
It would take another six long decades of struggle, of being marginalised and betrayed by the gay community, of being demonised and illegalised by the mainstream before anything like equality would be achieved here.
And despite the expectations of those who told us to be patient, that things were always getting better, a few, short years and trans folks became the enemy again and we were driven back underground.
But this muggy summer's night was full of hope. It was the beginning of something unstoppable and Ash could feel it.
Another coffee cup flew through the air and suddenly she felt herself fading. The room began to lose its colour and depth and she realised that not only was she leaving, but she was sad to leave.
Yells and the sounds of smashing crockery faded away. An owl was calling. Ash was back in their small tent on the other side of the world.
“Pin?” she whispered. “Are you awake?”
Pinar grunted a little in her sleep and rolled over. Ash snuggled against her and gave her a gentle kiss on the back.
She closed her eyes and blissfully slept.
Chapter sixty-one
Morning arrived suddenly and the park, so peaceful just a few hours before, was soon full of the clanking of pots and pans and the murmurs of camp. Ash tried to hide away by snuggling down under the sheets, but it was already hot and eventually she had to extricate herself. She unzipped the door and poked her head out.
It was even hotter outside, but the air was thick with the rich aromas of breakfast.
“Morning,” said Pinar softly as she stirred the little pot of tea she was preparing over a small camp fire. She had been up for an hour already.
The smells of tea and flat breads were enough to entice Ash out of the tent and she sat down next to the fire and took a piece of bread that Pinar was offering to her.
“Hey,” mumbled Ash sleepily. “Thanks for breakfast.”
“You're welcome. Sorry there isn't any coffee.”
Pinar poured the tea into the small, red cups that she always carried with her. “I can't stop thinking about Elias. “I barely even know him, apart from those first few weeks in the forest, but I know he was dear to you. T
his is all so messed up.”
“I still don't really believe it…”
“Me neither.”
They both fell silent for a minute as they drank their tea and listened to the sounds of the camp.
“I journeyed last night.” Ash’s voice was quiet.
“God, when to? Are you OK?”
“August '66. It was incredible.”
“'66? Wait…your birthday?”
“Compton's.”
“Amazing.”
“Yeah, it was cool.” Ash sipped her tea. “That night was an important part of trans history, you know? It changed everything.”
“Of course. It was important for all of us.” Pinar looked thoughtful and put her cup down. “Ash I know you don't like to talk about evolutionary functions—”
“Yep, I still don't.”
“—I get it. But can I?”
“Knock yourself out.”
Pinar smiled. “I guess I've said it before, but I really think that your trait is adaptive somehow. That it's important to all of us. Maybe even as a species. It keeps our history alive and you help us remember. That's really massive.”
“Yeah. Well, I've also said it before—I don't need science to explain who I am or why I have my 'trait,' as you call it. I'm not here to save the species, Pin. I'm here for myself, for my own intrinsic worth—”
“Of course, hon, I never meant to suggest—”
“And besides, most of my history—our history—has been hell. I'd really rather forget.”
“I know…”
“Not everything comes down to biology.”
“Okay, okay.”
It wasn't the first time they'd had this argument. As soon as she had learned about Ash's capacity for moving through time, the biologist in Pinar had searched for some way to explain it, some evolutionary function that wasn't yet clear.
But sometimes things just are and they don't need to be explained.
There was nothing more to say so Pinar sat in silence for a few minutes carefully avoiding eye contact while Ash slurped her tea.
Finally, Pinar stood up.
“I should go soon,” she announced. “My meeting's about to start.” She pointed over to the circles of people forming over near the trees. “There's an open discussion on the prisoner situation then a practical meeting to start making some specific plans. Do you want to come?”
Ash was staring at her tea and didn't look up.
“There's also the logistics meeting just starting over there under the big lime…”
Ash made a grunting sound.
“It's too early for any of that. I think I'll take a walk around and clear my head and then decide what to do.”
“Okay. Danny and Kit are going to be around in a few hours too. I know Kit was very keen to meet you. She called you the mythological A!”
Ash grunted again and went back to staring at her tea.
* * *
After breakfast, Ash took a walk to stretch her legs. The park looked entirely different in the morning light. For one, it was much bigger than she'd thought last night and much more wooded. Giant limes, oaks and plane trees, some at least a century old, cast welcome shade across the overgrown paths and long, dry grass.
She passed through an abandoned play park with rusted swings and broken roundabouts that were being consumed by buddleia bushes. In places, the concrete itself had been broken through and covered by brambles and nettles. Amidst such beautiful rebirth, Ash noticed something colourful amongst the thorns. As she walked closer she saw it was a stroller with a small plastic doll inside. Ash felt a shudder go through her and she continued her walk.
Overlooking the park and the sea was a derelict five-star hotel and Ash went over to take a look. Once a world-renowned gem with rooms costing several thousand a night and chandeliers in every dining room, it stood forgotten and burned out, a monument to a decadence that belonged to another time.
Much of the outside wall had already disintegrated or been swallowed up by ivy and Ash could see trees pushing themselves out of broken windows. Curious, she stepped inside the main entrance and saw the entire building was blackened and burned inside.
Must have been one hell of a fire.
She went deeper inside, passing by what might have once been a kitchen. The hotel was dark. The smell of burned carpets and curtains and beds was overwhelming.
I should be freaked out, this place is creepy as hell, but there's something about it…
She soon came to a massive, solid door at least twice her height. On the other side was something important. She knew it; she felt it.
She tried the door, but it was too heavy or too stuck, she couldn't tell which. She pulled again, bracing herself against the wall with one foot, but it only budged ever so slightly. Ash was already out of breath.
I'll come back later, and I'll bring Danny. All that muscle must be good for something.
She touched the door one last time and turned to leave.
I don't know how I know, but whatever is behind that door is crucial to us. It could mean the difference between life and death.
Chapter sixty-two
Kit arrived back at the park dressed in an elegant grey top, short black skirt, and her last pair of good tights. She carried a plastic bag full of Nutrition snacks. She marched over to Pinar who sat in the grass taking a break from a long meeting.
“Pinar! I come baring gifts!”
“Ah great. Well, thanks.” Pinar took the bag. “Good to see you again, Kit. Maybe we could share them out in the next meeting?”
“No way. I got them all for you and Ash! You're my heroines. You changed my life. At least let me feed you.”
“Oh, well…thanks. That's sweet of you.” Pinar looked dubiously inside the bag at the little wrapped food bars. “I should actually get back to the meeting soon—”
“No problem. I'll join you soon, I just want to say hi to Ash. I didn't really get to talk to her last night. Where is she actually?”
“Over by the hotel I think.”
“Awesome! See you later, heroine.” Kit signed the word simultaneously for extra effect.
“Err. Yeah. See you later, Kit.”
Ash was just emerging from the hotel and she squinted in the bright light as Kit ran over to her.
“Ash!”
“Oh hey…erm—”
“Kit. My name's Kit.”
“Yeah, sorry. Names were always difficult and well, I'm very old you know.”
“No way, you don't look a day over fifty.”
“I find that a little hard to believe.”
“I brought a tonne of Nutrition snacks for you and Pinar. I have a trick who works for Nutrition and he always brings me a bag.”
“Great.” Ash tried to smile politely.
More rat bars, she thought to herself. I would kill for a fresh tomato right now.
“God, I can't believe I'm talking to you, you know? We used to tell stories about you two. We called you the mythological A and P!”
Ash squirmed, but Kit continued unabated.
“All the resistance knows the stories of the Femme Riots, how you took on the entire State and fought for the right to dress how you wanted. You were a big inspiration to me you know? Especially when I came out and transitioned.”
“You're trans?”
“I am. Not so many of us around these days.”
“No…I guess not.”
“Actually, I gathered from Pinar last night that I have you and her to thank for the meds and herbs we've been receiving for the last couple of years.”
“Ah yeah, that was us.”
“Thank you!”
“No problem.”
“Oh, and Pinar also told me that you have something of a coffee addiction…”
Ash flashed on her journey last night, cups flying across the cafeteria and splashing over neatly pressed uniforms.
“I love coffee,”
she said simply.
“Me too. And actually, my girlfriend—or my ex-girlfriend or something—stole me some beans from her office. Can I make you a cup?”
“Well…” said Ash, finally relaxing a little. “I've never been able to say no to a cup of coffee.”
* * *
Pinar came over to the fire the second her meeting ended.
“Looks like you found your fix!”
“The greatest herbal medicine on earth.” Ash sipped her coffee and smiled. “How was your meeting?”
“Actually, pretty good. We have a plan. And I have quite an important part in it. I'm not sure how that happened really…”
“Tell us.”
“Coffee first, then I'll tell you everything!”
Pouring herself a cup, Pinar began to explain the plan. The next morning before dawn, she would lead a shoal through the tunnels to the Life Accounts building. Scouts had been sent and confirmed Danny’s intel—the system was as vulnerable now as it would ever be.
Decades back, Pinar had worked a couple of summers for a small company installing solar panels on roofs. As the Life Accounts servers were run almost entirely on solar energy these days, Pinar hoped she'd be able to use her knowledge of the system to cause another overload and shut down the last of the servers.
“It'll look like an accident which will be safer than simply cutting the wires. And in the time it takes them to set up a generator, the system should go down across the City.” She grinned. “All those little transactions that keep the State's economy working will grind to a halt and there'll be absolute chaos.”
“Meanwhile on the other side of the City, another shoal will take advantage of the diversion and hopefully break the resistance prisoners out of jail.”
I don't like the sound of any of this, thought Ash.
“So, let me get this right—” she said. “You're going to clamber around on the roof of a State building in the middle of the night and what? Do some rewiring?”
“I think I can do it.” Pinar replied. “And if not I can explain it to the others. Apparently, the system's virtually the same as the ones I know. They never replaced them in all this time.”