Margins and Murmurations

by Otter Lieffe

  “L, come down from there! I need to talk to you.”

  Danny stayed where he was, hanging from the pole, the blood rushing to his head.

  “Shh…go away! I'm dancing!”

  Kit pointed at the officers by the bar.

  “For these drunk vergers? Forget it. It's an emergency. Come down from there.”

  Danny climbed down. He was covered in sweat.

  “Come out back, we'll talk there,” he said, opening the door to the little back room for her.

  She was signing before he'd even closed the door.

  “They hurt Nathalie. I don't know how. I just got a message that we need to get to Dignity as soon as possible. Something about the protection.”

  “Nathalie? Protection? What are you talking about?”

  “Here.” She handed him the note.

  “I can't be bothered to decode it, anyway I forgot the key as usual. Just tell me?”

  “I already did. Nathalie got hurt—beaten up—at work, I guess. She's at the park now—”

  “And the protection?”

  “—It just says 'Protection in danger,' whatever that means. Either way, that includes you. Let's go.”

  “I haven't finished my shift yet!”

  “Make an excuse, anything! No-one cares. I'll meet you outside in two minutes. We'll take the tunnels just in case.”

  “And the…action?”

  “Please stop asking me questions I can't answer. We have to go now.”

  * * *

  “Go a little slower, could you?” complained Danny. “I can't see a thing and the candle's just blinding me. It's really frikking dark down here.”

  “If I can run in eight-inch heels, I'm sure you can keep up in those sweaty sneakers of yours,” said Kit without slowing down. “Keep moving.”

  Following as fast as he could, Danny turned a corner and their tunnel suddenly opened onto a concourse with lots of other tunnels. A faded sign hung on the wall that said simply 'Independence Park'.

  In front of them stood a dead escalator leading up to the exit sign and the street beyond.

  “Look, we're here already. You can quit your whining,” said Kit. “I see lights ahead…”

  * * *

  The park was full again. Within two hours of Nathalie arriving, almost the entire sex work collective—in particular those who lived under protection—had arrived. Combined with all the resistance who were already there preparing to head out to the action, there were more than three hundred people gathered.

  An emergency plenary was called, and people sat down together in seven, concentric circles in the centre of the park. Everyone was gathered except Ash who was over by the empty fireplace taking care of Nathalie's wounds and Kit who came running over to them through the dry grass.

  “Nathalie, are you OK?” She knelt down at her side. All of their tension from the last two days—the manipulation and control and pressure was suddenly forgotten. Nathalie was still crying uncontrollably, and Ash stood up to let them hold each other.

  “Is she okay? How did this happen?” Kit demanded.

  “She'll be fine. Her wounds are superficial, although she got a pretty bad hit on the head.” Ash took a step back. “I can leave you two alone if you like.”

  “Yeah, thanks,” said Kit and pulled Nathalie close to her.

  “It's okay, my love, I'm here now…”

  “I'll come check on her in a bit,” said Ash as she began to walk to the plenary. Suddenly she stopped dead still. Above the usual sounds of voices and waves and seagulls, she heard a sound. A sound she hoped she'd never hear again.

  It was the sound of her nightmares and her visions and her memories of too many violent demonstrations and it was getting closer and louder every second.

  The sound of horses.

  Chapter sixty-eight

  The pounding of hooves was all around them. Ash turned to face Nathalie who stopped crying for a moment, her face racked with guilt.

  Like fog lifting, Ash suddenly saw it all so clearly. The convenient timing. The desperation to bring the others to the park.

  “Oh Nathalie,” she said, her voice cold. “You did this, didn't you?”

  “I didn't mean…I…I'm sorry,” Nathalie whined, curling up into Kit's arms. She looked up at her lovingly through bleary eyes. “I did it for us, Kit. Don't worry, you and me will be saved…”

  “Did what, Nathalie? What are you talking about? What's going on?”

  But Ash already knew. She could hear the horses coming closer—there must be hundreds of them—and though she couldn't yet see the troopers, she guessed the park was already surrounded. We're stuck firmly between the full power of the State and a steep, rocky cliff to nowhere.

  “She set you up. She set us all up.”

  Chapter sixty-nine

  Ash could already see the first of the troopers arriving at the far end of the park as she ran towards the plenary. Everyone was standing, looking around, confused and scared.

  People were panicking. Some looked like they were going to bolt towards the street. A few people she saw were backing up towards the cliff. A hundred voices cried out in confusion.

  I’ve seen this before. And it can’t go like this. They need to be guided.

  “We need to get to the tunnels right now!” Ash shouted at the top of her lungs.

  Suddenly hers was the only voice in the park, it rang out clear and loud even above the thundering hooves. But the nearest tunnel entrance is blocks away. There's no way we'll get past the troopers.

  The first tear gas grenades flew over the trees and Ash felt herself panicking.

  Breathe. Just breathe. Find a solution. Get your people out of here.

  Suddenly a memory flashed across her mind's eye. In her vision of the future she was leading the resistance across the park to the hotel and shouting something about the tunnels. But there are no tunnels in the hotel. And the hotel is abandoned, destroyed.

  Understanding slowly enveloped her. The door. The massive door in the hotel that she couldn't open.

  I knew there was something important behind it. It all makes sense now. She was as certain as she'd ever been in her life.

  “Follow me!” she shouted as she turned and ran towards the hotel.

  * * *

  For a brief moment, Ash forgot how old she was. She forgot how tired her bones were from living a long, hard life. She forgot all her worries, her insecurities. There was just running.

  Her earrings sparkled in the morning sunlight as she pushed each footstep into the grass and pushed off again. She let herself look back for just a brief second. More than three hundred people ran after her, their panic turned into determination to reach the hotel. To escape their fate. To write their own destiny.

  Behind them a wall of troopers, their enslaved animals, and their weapons, followed close behind.

  She turned back and kept running. She heard a scream.

  The troopers must have caught up with those at the back. But there's nothing I can do to help. If we're cut off from the tunnels, we'll be stuck here with nowhere to go.

  Ash's eyes bleared with gas and smoke as she pushed on with all the strength she could find.

  She saw the hotel growing closer, a blackened wall of balconies and luxury suites. And on one of those balconies, Ash saw her own face looking out over the chaos. She blinked her eyes against the tear gas. It was herself, her journeying self from just a day before. This was her vision. This is how it happened.

  Time was inescapable. She knew what she had to do. What she had already done. With all the force in her lungs she shouted up to the balcony.

  “To the Hotel! To the tunnels!”

  Chapter seventy

  Ash's lungs burned but she couldn't stop running. She could already see the grand entrance and foyer to the hotel, and she knew that inside, behind the heavy door, were the tunnels and their only chance of escape.

  She was bar
ely a hundred metres away. She heard running footsteps behind her. The others were catching her up.

  Just a little farther.

  But as the gas cloud cleared for a moment, Ash's breath caught in her throat—Ahead, standing directly between them and the hotel, a line of troopers was moving into position to stop them.

  “You have nowhere to go. We have you surrounded.”

  Silence fell over the park and for a moment, the whole world seemed to hold its breath.

  And then Ash and three hundred fighters were running towards the hotel. Ash and three hundred fighters against a world of weaponry and power.

  She curled her arms up in front of her face as the troopers ahead of them lifted their truncheons. She ran and she ran. And there was nothing else.

  Ash was gone.

  6. Home

  Chapter seventy-one

  Pinar was completely absorbed in writing. She was halfway through her dissertation and had been sat at her desk for what seemed like days, staring at her laptop screen, daylight coming and going. Dawn was just breaking, the early sun shining through the blinds into her tiny student apartment and she was exhausted.

  She was in a slow hour. Some hours flew by as inspiration took over her fingers and seemed to type the words for her. Others, like this one, dragged painfully. She lost herself in internet searches and digging through her research and some out-of-date science journals. They all seemed so promising at the library, but they're just another distraction. I should sleep. I should already be sleeping.

  Espresso and the hope for more inspiration were keeping her awake and at her desk but her eyelids were heavier by the second. Pinar's head was cradled in her hands, her elbows nestled in a pile of print-outs and redrafts.

  One more article and I'll call it a day.

  Pinar's eyelids were definitely drooping. Her thoughts were getting confused. Maybe, actually, I'm already asleep. I must be dreaming.

  Across the room, someone who looked a lot like an elderly version of her dear friend, Ash had just appeared and was sitting on her bed. She was balding, dressed like a guy and saying something to her.

  It has to be a dream, I'm already sleeping. I should go to bed.

  “Pinar?…Pinar? Can you hear me? Are you asleep? Wake up already!”

  “Whassat musbedreamin…”

  “You're not dreaming. I'm here. Hello?”

  Ash leaned forward and waved her hands in front of Pinar's half-shut eyes.

  “I'm here. From the future. My God, you look so young. What year is it?”

  Pinar sat up straight and shook her head.

  “Ash? Is it you? What…what are you doing here?” She rubbed her eyes. “Sorry, I've been up all night.”

  She stood up and immediately knocked a pile of papers and files onto the floor. Ignoring the mess, she sat down next to her friend on the bed.

  “It's 2017 here, I mean, now. You told me last year about your…special ability, but wow. This is amazing!”

  “It's so good to see you, Pinar. I'm from 2040. And am I here actually, I mean, the younger me?”

  “No, my Ash is away at the moment. You're in Quito, taking an organising break. You've been having a hard time lately.”

  “Ah ok, I remember that. It's so weird. Have you ever met a future me before? Is this something that starts happening?”

  “No, never. And it's strange; it's like I see you, but it feels a bit dreamy, like you're here, but not really.” Pinar gave Ash's arm a friendly squeeze. “No. You're definitely real.”

  “Hang on a sec…”

  Ash stood up and went over to the sink. She poured herself a glass of water, gulped it down without stopping and poured herself another. She drank that too and came back to the bed.

  “Are you okay?” asked Pinar. “I mean, where you were before you came here?”

  “Not really, it's a mess. I guess I'll be back there soon though—I only ever travel for a short while.”

  “So let's get you fed and cleaned up so you're ready for whatever's going on. I'll fix us some breakfast. Coffee and eggs?”

  Ash nodded gratefully.

  “Have a rest and don't go anywhere until I've finished.”

  Ash lay back on the bed. Everything about it was familiar: the squeaky springs, the smell of her friend on the soft pillows, the noise of Pinar rattling around in the kitchen. Despite her best attempts to stay awake, she soon felt herself dozing off.

  * * *

  Gus was no longer in Dignity Park.

  At the first sound of horse hooves, he'd slipped out through the bushes and into the street, staying as close to the buildings as he could. His ankle was slowing him down, but the light was fading and it wouldn't be hard to get away if he kept quiet.

  The others will be much slower than me. They can't do anything alone, not even escape. They’re fucking sheep.

  Gus climbed over a small, brick wall and looked back for just a second.

  I wouldn’t have made it out of the forest without them—I would have died out there. Maybe I should…

  He pushed the unfamiliar feelings deep down.

  No. Better to be a lone wolf. A fighter. A survivor.

  He looked around. He was on the lawn of a grand manor house that was slowly being consumed by brambles. With no-one to tend them, rose bushes had spread all across the walls and up the ornamental trees and the air was thick with their heavy scent.

  It’s beautiful, Gus noticed vaguely. But I'm too exposed. I need a place to hunker down, wait until the troopers have passed by. The last thing I need is to get mistaken for resistance.

  He felt another unfamiliar feeling pass through his chest.

  Even if I am like them. Just one more fucking vergent.

  From a few streets away he could hear dogs barking.

  No fuck that. I’m nothing like them. Always complaining and protesting about the way things are. You have to be practical in this world if you want to survive. Once I'm away, I'll call on old friends, pull some strings to get back into the State or find some other placement. I'll get a nice place to live, work my way back up. I'll be fine. I always am. I just need to keep moving.

  Walking carefully over broken patio slabs, Gus looked around the outside of the house for a way in. The French windows were locked and breaking in would make too much noise.

  No good. I can't stay here.

  The other wall of the garden was much higher than the first. Gus knew there was no way he’d be able to climb over with his twisted ankle.

  He looked around for something to climb on.

  There. A trash can.

  Panting from the effort, he dragged the metal bin over as quietly as he could, put one foot on the lid and began to pull himself up.

  Seconds too late he realised his mistake.

  My bad leg.

  With all his will he tried to push past the pain, but his ankle collapsed and Gus crashed to the ground. The trash can followed him and made a deafening noise as it hit the floor.

  Shit.

  Gus lay flat on the ground, surrounded by stinking garbage, the wind knocked completely out of him. He stared at the wall in disbelief.

  I’m dirty again, he realised, his thoughts slow and disconnected. And I only just got clean. He saw stars and, within seconds, he was surrounded.

  Chapter seventy-two

  The delicious smell of coffee woke Ash up.

  “Well, you're still here, hon. Eat up quickly before you go. You were asleep for ten minutes or so.”

  Pinar put the heavy tray of food in front of her and, without a word, Ash dug in, downing the coffee in one gulp and eating the toast and fried eggs almost without chewing.

  “You are hungry. Let me get you some juice to go with that. Has it been so long since you ate?” She filled a glass and brought it over. “Wait. I guess you probably shouldn't tell me, time paradoxes and all that.”

  “I have no clue,” said Ash between gulps of juice. �
��This never happened before. Maybe don't tell my present self about it. It's weird.”

  “No problem, I can keep a secret. You're probably leaving soon. Do you need anything else?”

  “It's already been longer than usual. I won't be here much longer.”

  “Have a rest and if you're still here when you wake up, let's talk, okay?”

  Ash didn't even have the energy to disagree. Pinar put the tray on the floor on a pile of other plates and journals. Covering them both with a blanket, she curled up next to her friend and within seconds they were both fast asleep.

  Ash woke up a while later.

  Sleepily she rolled over and looked at the clock on the desk.

  Two P.M.—and I'm still here!

  She quietly got out of bed without disturbing Pinar and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

  Nothing about this is normal. First, I'm in a time and place where I'm not even present, which is unusual enough. And now it seems like I'm stuck here.

  But in the present—my present—I'm in danger; we all are. I'm probably still lying there in the park, useless—and for all intents and purposes, asleep—surrounded by the State, or already in prison. I have to get back, to help the others.

  Ash sighed loudly as she took off her clothes.

  Nothing I can do for now. Just have to wait and see what happens.

  “I'll be quick,” she told herself as she pulled the cord and climbed into the tiny, cramped shower cubicle she knew so well.

  * * *

  Gus was trapped. Six troopers and a massive Rottweiler that growled and pulled on its leash, stood above him. He still lay on his back, surrounded by trash, his ankle sending wave after wave of sharp pain through his body.