The Blushing Bride

by Judith Stacy

  But she’d thought she meant something to him. She’d thought he’d want her with him when things went wrong, when he was upset. He’d acted as if he cared about her, needed her.

  Had all that been just that—an act? Had Jason held her and kissed her, and all along she meant nothing to him?

  So it seemed. Amanda’s chest ached at the realization.

  Jason Kruger was a hard man. He didn’t need anyone. Not even her.

  “Come meet Brandon,” Ethan said. “He could stand seeing a friendly face besides mine.”

  That was certainly true. Amanda gulped down her feelings and followed Ethan down the hallway.

  The parlor she passed was sparsely decorated: a settee, one chair, a table and lamp. The curtains hung crooked at the windows. A table and chairs sat in the kitchen, along with a cookstove and cupboards, none of which looked as if they’d been used in a while since the Kruger brothers ate their meals at the cookhouse. A fine mist of dust covered everything and dirt was scattered across the floor. The house wasn’t filthy; it just looked as if two men lived there.

  Two men, and now a boy.

  Brandon sat on the edge of a big brass bed rubbing his eyes when Amanda and Ethan walked into the room. She hadn’t noticed how tired he looked when she’d seen him outside Jason’s office, nor had she noticed how rumpled his clothes were, as if he’d slept in them a number of times.

  Ethan introduced them. Brandon rose from the bed and nodded politely. “Nice to meet you, Miss Pierce.”

  Someone had taught the boy manners, whether it was his mother or the relatives he’d been living with, Amanda didn’t know.

  “Welcome, Brandon,” she said, and glanced around the room at his belongings stacked up in the corner. “Can I assist getting you settled?”

  “That would be a big help,” Ethan said. “I’ve got two new men who started at the mill this morning. I need to be there and make sure they don’t do anything stupid—and lose a hand or something in the process.”

  “Certainly,” Amanda said. “Run along. I’ll see to Brandon.”

  Ethan gave his brother an affectionate half hug. “I’ll see you at supper time. Come up to the cookhouse.”

  Brandon watched him leave but didn’t say anything.

  “Well,” Amanda said after Ethan had left the room, “how was your trip?”

  “Long,” Brandon said and yawned, remembering at the last second to cover his mouth. “Five or six days. I’m not sure now.”

  “You traveled nearly a week by yourself?”

  Brandon nodded, rubbing his eyes.

  “Gracious….” That certainly made her trip from San Francisco seem small.

  “Missed the train, once. Stagecoach broke down and left us stranded.”

  For having endured such a harrowing trip the boy looked none the worse for wear, except that he was tired. Still, it didn’t sit well with Amanda that Brandon’s parents had sent him on this odyssey alone.

  So this was how Jason had lived his youth. Left to fend for himself. It had made him strong, built him into the man who commanded a lumber camp, secured a prized railroad contract and owned a mountain.

  But it didn’t make for pleasant childhood memories.

  “Let’s get you unpacked,” Amanda said.

  “Not much to unpack,” Brandon said, and sat on the edge of the bed again. “Our stuff got mixed up. Most of my things are halfway to England by now. Those boxes were supposed to go with Mama.”

  “Oh, dear. That’s a shame.” Amanda lifted one of the boxes by the twine. “It’s not very heavy. What’s in here?”

  “Old junk.” Brandon set the box on the bureau and unknotted the twine. He pried off the lid. “See? Just papers and letters and things like that.”

  Amanda peered into the box at the assortment of folded documents. A packet of letters was held together by a pink ribbon. Several other small boxes were inside as well.

  “Do you suppose your parents need these things in England?” Amanda asked.

  Brandon shrugged indifferently, then opened the other box. “I don’t know. Mama carries these things around with her all the time.”

  “Perhaps we should ship it to them.”

  “I don’t think it’s important,” Brandon said, “but you can look through it if you want, see what you think.”

  Amanda glanced inside the two boxes sitting on the bureau, a little uncomfortable at being invited to look through the private papers of a man and woman she didn’t know. Although she felt as if she knew them simply by knowing Jason and Ethan, and now Brandon.

  “I don’t know if I should,” Amanda said. “Maybe one of your brothers should do it.”

  A few seconds passed with no response. Amanda turned and found Brandon stretched out on the bed, lying on his belly, arms spread, sound asleep. He hadn’t taken off his jacket or shoes. Amanda smiled. He looked peaceful, dead asleep.

  Was this what Jason looked like when he slept? Sprawled across the bed, not a crease or worry line on his face, muscles relaxed. She couldn’t imagine seeing him so calm and unguarded.

  Now she never would.

  Wanting to stay busy, Amanda turned back to the boxes and valise and decided to unpack for Brandon. She emptied his few meager possessions from the valise, then her gaze settled on the two open boxes still sitting on the bureau.

  Maybe she should look through them. No one else was likely to do it. Ethan and Jason were too busy. And Jason certainly wasn’t inclined to rehash old memories, not to mention do his parents any favors.

  Amanda settled into the cane-bottom chair in the corner and put the boxes on the floor at her feet. As she dug through the documents she began thinking Brandon’s assessment was correct. They were just old papers of no value.

  She changed her mind when she reached the bottom of the first box and found the Kruger family bible.

  It was a large leather volume with a hinged clasp and gold foil on the edges of the pages. Amanda opened it on her lap and carefully turned the tissue-thin leaves. In the center were several thicker pages with ornate drawings depicting images of Jesus, haloed angels and divine lights beaming from the heavens. On these pages the history of the Kruger family was recorded.

  Amanda read the names of Jason’s ancestors going back nearly a hundred years. His grandparents, his parents, his brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, their births, deaths and marriages.

  As Jason had said, he and his siblings had all been born in different parts of the country, as indicated by the places of birth recorded on the pages.

  Tracing her finger to the last entry, Amanda read Brandon’s name and glanced up at the boy sleeping on the bed. Jason, the first born, was nearly nineteen years older than Brandon, the last born. Small wonder there was no brotherly bond between them.

  Sadness settled over Amanda. She had neither brother nor sister. Both parents were dead. Her family consisted of a few cousins she corresponded with occasionally.

  She touched her finger to the bold script of the Kruger family tree. Such a large family. Scattered. Rarely seeing each other. Near strangers, really. Perhaps that loss was greater than what she felt at having no one.

  Amanda closed the bible carefully and picked up the stack of letters bundled together with a ribbon. She sorted through them, quickly skimming the contents, not wanting to delve too deeply into the Kruger family business.

  She expected to find correspondence among family members, talk of the weather, births, marriages, stories of growing children and growing old. News that was the common bond that held families together.

  Instead, Amanda’s brows pulled together in a frown. She went back and read each letter again, slowly and carefully.

  When she’d finished the last, Amanda sat back in the chair, her chest heavy. This wasn’t what she’d expected to find. Not at all.

  Briefly she considered what she should do with these letters, with this newfound knowledge. Tell someone, or let it go?

  Jason was already angry
at her and wouldn’t appreciate another attempt by her to butt into his life. Still, he needed to know.

  Because it was quite obvious to Amanda that Jason didn’t know the truth about his parents.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Morning, Miss Pierce.”

  A welcoming chorus greeted Amanda as she entered the cookhouse for breakfast. The prospective husbands, already seated at their table, rose to their feet as naturally as if they’d been doing it all their lives, rather than just a few weeks.

  “Good morning, gentlemen,” Amanda said, as one of them assisted her into her chair. “Lovely day, isn’t it?”

  The loggers all agreed that it was in fact a lovely day as they put their napkins in their laps, passed the food platters around the table, and began eating.

  For over a week now, Amanda had sat alone with the soon-to-be husbands. Jason had returned to his usual spot at the rear of the cookhouse.

  Over a week had gone by since Brandon arrived and not once had Jason spoken to her. He’d not even glanced in her direction. This morning was no exception.

  Amanda tried to eat breakfast, tried to focus on the conversation at the table, but it was nearly impossible. Through the shifting crowd of men in the cookhouse she could see Jason seated at his table, eating. She could see him, but that was all.

  And it wasn’t enough. Her arms ached to hold him, touch him. She wanted to see him smile, hear him tell her how work on the mountain was going.

  Her heart ached. Jason, so close. Jason, so distant.

  The pain was almost unbearable. Over the last week she’d seen him going about his business, talking to his men, hiking up the skid road, conversing with Ethan at the sawmill. Her gaze seemed to find him wherever he went, drawn to him so naturally.

  She’d considered trying to talk to him, smooth things over, but rejected that notion each time. Ethan had said to leave him alone because there was no use trying to talk to him when he was angry.

  It went against Amanda’s instincts to simply let things lie. She preferred talking, getting things out in the open. But his brother knew him better than anyone so she bowed to his advice.

  Jason knew where she was. If he wanted to talk to her, he could. When he was ready he’d do just that.

  Hopefully.

  “Miss Pierce?”

  Amanda’s attention snapped back to the husbands at the breakfast table and saw that they were all gazing at her.

  “Miss Pierce?” Henry Jasper said softly. “Just so you know, none of us are sorry you came to the mountain.”

  The men all nodded solemnly.

  Tears sprang to Amanda’s eyes, touched that the men would say that to her. Word had spread across the mountain that Jason was angry and sorry he’d allowed her to bring her brides here…sorry that she was here.

  “Thank you,” Amanda said, sniffing. “Thank you all very much.”

  “We appreciate everything you’ve done for us,” Tom Redford said.

  “Yes, ma’am, that’s the truth,” Henry said above the murmur of agreement around the table.

  “Thank you,” Amanda said again. She laid her napkin aside. “If you gentlemen will excuse me?”

  She got to her feet and the loggers clambered to theirs. They nodded respectfully as she left the cookhouse. It took all her strength not to glance at the rear of the room where Jason sat.

  Amanda stepped outside into the cool air. Gray clouds hung over the mountain, the morning sun only a hazy glow at the treetops. In the distance she saw the dormitory taking shape. Work was proceeding quickly. The crew Jason assigned to the job worked diligently. The prospective husbands joined the effort after their shift was over for the day. Some of them were also building cabins on the mountain for their brides.

  Tears stung Amanda’s eyes again and this time threatened to fall. In a short time the brides would arrive. Marriages would take place. Lonely people would find partners. Families would grow.

  And Amanda would leave.

  She sniffed. There would be no marriage for her. Not now. Not ever. How could she marry anyone when her heart belonged to Jason Kruger? And he didn’t want it.

  Angrily, Amanda swiped away her tears. It was her own fault. No one else’s. She should have known better than to lose her heart to a man. Hadn’t she learned that the hard way once already in her life?

  The rustle of footsteps sounded behind Amanda and she realized the loggers were leaving the cookhouse, heading to work. Well, she had work to do, too.

  Ethan, calling her name, stopped her. She waited until he caught up.

  “Have you seen Brandon this morning?” he asked.

  Amanda glanced at the men filing past, then thought back to breakfast. Though most of her attention had been fixed on Jason she had noticed that Brandon wasn’t present in the cookhouse again this morning.

  “No, I haven’t see him,” she said.

  “That boy.” Ethan shook his head. “I don’t know where he’s been going or what he’s doing, but I don’t like it. Having a boy his age at loose ends is just asking for trouble.”

  “Yes, I agree,” Amanda said. “He told me he wants to work but Jason won’t let him.”

  Even though the oldest Kruger brother had little use for her, the youngest had spent quite a bit of time with her over the last week. Unlike Jason, Brandon wasn’t shy about saying what was on his mind.

  “I told Jason we need to give the boy a job,” Ethan said, “but he won’t hear of it. Says he’s too young to have to work for a living. Says all he has to worry about is getting an education.”

  “Brandon goes to Idelle Turner’s school every day,” Amanda said. “I see him walking back and forth.”

  “That’s not enough to keep him busy.”

  Amanda agreed. Because there were so few students, their lessons were completed quickly and class dismissed before noon. That left hours and hours of empty time to fill somehow.

  “Maybe you could train him at the sawmill?” Amanda suggested.

  “If I had time I would,” Ethan said. “But with that railroad contract to fill I can’t spare the time or manpower to train somebody. Especially a kid with no experience.”

  “Isn’t there something you can give Brandon to do?”

  Ethan shook his head. “The sawmill is too dangerous to work without proper training. One wrong move and—well, let’s just say it could be your last wrong move.”

  Amanda cringed at the mental picture Ethan’s words conjured up. She’d been to the sawmill, seen the huge blades spinning. They sliced through the thick trees like butter. She’d heard the stories of the men who’d lost limbs—and lives—to those blades.

  “Jason hasn’t warmed up to his brother yet, has he?” Amanda asked.

  “No,” Ethan said. “But he’ll come around.”

  “I hope so,” Amanda said softly. She felt tears burning at her eyes again, so she straightened her shoulders and changed the subject.

  “Ethan, there’s a business opportunity I’d like to discuss with you. A partnership, actually.”

  He grinned. “A partnership with you? I wouldn’t think twice about saying yes to that, Amanda.”

  She couldn’t help smiling. Ethan had that effect on her. Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with this Kruger brother?

  “No, not me. I’ll be leaving soon.”

  Ethan scowled. “I can’t imagine this mountain without you on it, Amanda.”

  She gulped hard, holding back a fresh flood of tears. “Let me explain what I have in mind.”

  “Yes? He said yes?” Meg dropped the curtain she was hemming and came out of her chair in the little parlor of her cabin. “Ethan said yes?”

  “He said yes,” Amanda told her.

  Meg squealed with delight and threw her arms around Amanda. They hugged, then Meg spun away.

  “I should be mad at you,” she said.

  Amanda nodded. “You should.”

  “Going behind my back, asking Ethan to be my partner in the new general store.
”

  “I knew you’d never ask him yourself,” Amanda said. “And he jumped at the chance.”

  “He did?”

  “Of course he did,” Amanda said. “It’s an excellent business opportunity.”

  Meg glanced down at her hands. “Was that the only reason he agreed?”

  “You know it wasn’t,” Amanda told her.

  “No, I don’t know that,” Meg said, twisting her fingers together.

  “Ethan is wild about you. He’d do anything to make you happy.” Amanda walked closer. “Have you decided what you’re going to do about your husband?”

  Meg pressed her lips together. “My head tells me one thing, but my heart says another.”

  “There’s no rush,” Amanda said. “The only thing you need to concentrate on is getting your store ready to open. You’re meeting Ethan tonight after supper to discuss your arrangement.”

  “I am?”

  “You are.” Amanda plucked a curtain from the stack beside Meg’s chair. “Now, let’s get these things finished. We have a lot to do.”

  Darkness had fallen over the lumber camp, and while this was normally Jason’s favorite time of day, he found little comfort tonight as he walked toward his office. That puzzled him because things were going well. Better than usual, really. The railroad contract was ahead of schedule. The dormitory was coming along. His crew was working hard. No one had gotten hurt in weeks. The men had even stopped fighting among themselves over the arrival of the brides, especially since it had been decided that bride number nine was more compatible with Tom Redford.

  There was no reason for the foul mood he’d been in, Jason decided. Not on the face of things. Not concerning the important matters in his life.

  Or at least in the matters he used to consider important.

  Jason stepped up onto the porch of his office. Lantern light glowed in the window, indicating Ethan was inside.

  At once, Jason wanted to talk to his brother. For over a week now he hadn’t wanted to talk to anybody. Hadn’t wanted anybody to talk to him. And his grumpiness had ensured that nobody had.

  Laughter drifted out of the office, freezing Jason on the porch. He backed up a step and peered through the window.