“It’s not yours,” he interrupts.
“Excuse me?” I clench my teeth and grind out the words.
“Are you stupid? You’re a rising star, with Rookie of the Year mentions and a multimillion-dollar contract. She’s pregnant and in Boston? Even I can see the trap coming a mile away, Cooper.”
Before I can say anything, he’s on the phone and barking out orders to someone. I hear paternity suit, and that’s when I walk away. I don’t need to hear anymore.
I don’t want to think my dad is right, but now that he’s mentioned it, what if the baby isn’t mine and she’s playing me for a fool? What if I fall in love with the baby, raise him or her as my own, only to find out that I’m not the father? What happens then? Where does that leave me? What will that do to the baby?
* * *
I contemplate calling Ainsley all night but don’t have the guts to actually do it. Instead, I pace the floor thinking the same thought over and over again: Ainsley’s pregnant. That thought turns into others; some are of us raising this baby while others have us fighting constantly and never getting along. Each one has the same outcome, though—the baby is mine.
But what if she’s pinning this on me because I was there around the time she got pregnant? How do I know she wasn’t with someone else? I can ask that, right?
Yesterday when I was talking to Ainsley, I knew the baby was mine. Standing here now, looking out through my window, I’m not so sure. We haven’t seen each other in months, and I have no way of knowing if she didn’t hook up with someone else. There are too many unknowns right now and I don’t know what to do.
There’s a nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that she wouldn’t lie about this—not after everything she’s been through. But I can’t help but feel like she would do the same thing her mother did and just raise the child on her own, without any fatherly help, and I don’t know if I want that, if I could be that type of man.
Late in the morning, I’m summoned to Wilson’s office, no doubt to explain my fucked-up performance last night. With my tail between my legs and my pride on the line, I knock on his door before entering.
He’s glaring; his face morphed into something I’ve only seen when he doesn’t agree with a call, and now it’s directed toward me. He stands and slams the door behind me. “Sit down,” he barks as he sits back down behind his desk. “I’ve known you a long time, and I never expected you to lack character, but this is over the top. It’s unacceptable behavior, and I won’t stand for it.”
I’m confused by his tone and the aggression behind his words. I had one bad game, which can easily be rectified.
I swallow hard and lift my chin so he can see that I’m serious. “It won’t happen again,” I tell him, even though it’s not like I can prevent a loss; I can control only my performance.
“You’re damn straight this won’t happen again, especially on my watch. If you think I’m going to let you go around sticking your dick in whatever walks while you have a baby on the way, you’ve got another thing coming.”
My mouth drops open, and he stands with his finger pointed at me. “You need to man up, Bailey.”
“Um…”
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about,” he says, slamming his hand down on the table. “Ainsley’s pregnant, and you need to take responsibly for your actions.”
“Did my father call you?”
“No,” he scoffs.
I put my hands up in the air, calling a truce. “With all due respect, Skipper, how do you know about Ainsley and the baby? I just found out myself yesterday before the game, which is why I thought you called me in here, to talk about my game performance, not some chick I banged in Florida.”
My poor choice of words does not sit well with Wilson as his face turns red and his fingers clutch the ends of his desk. I’m starting to get pissed off wondering how he knows. If Aisnley somehow contacted my manager, she and I are going to have an exchange of words that isn’t going to end up in her favor.
“Ainsley is my daughter,” he says, sitting back down in his chair. I let his words sink in as my mouth opens to say something, but nothing comes out. “You have nothing to say?”
I shake my head. “She never told me that you’re her father. In fact, she told me she didn’t have one.”
“Well, she does, and it seems my starting center fielder has gotten himself into a pickle.”
I feel the walls start to close in around me. When I thought things were going well, namely my career, shit starts to crumble around me. I feel as desperate as when there’s two outs in the bottom of the ninth and we’re down by one run. I can swing for the fence and hope that I get enough velocity on the ball that it sails over the wall, or I can try for a double and pray that my teammate behind me can do the same.
Either way I’m in a hopeless situation.
Chapter 30
Ainsley
We need to meet. Where are you staying?
Months ago a text like this from Cooper would’ve made my heart jump and my palms sweat, but now I feel nothing but dread. I know he met with Wes this morning. Wes made it very clear that he was going to talk with him, and it’s not like Cooper can ignore a meeting with his manager. I asked Wes not to, to let Cooper and me figure it out, but he pulled the father card and I gave in.
After one day and over breakfast, Wes has made it clear that he’ll be in my life, if I’ll have him. Thing is, I want him to be. I want to have a father who I send a birthday card to or have stay at my house for Christmas. To have a father who will be a good grandfather to my baby. I’ve longed for a connection like this. I asked him if he wanted to take a paternity test to verify that he’s in fact my dad and he said no, one wasn’t needed, and that he felt it in his heart and could see it in my eyes when he looked at me.
When he asked about my husband again, I thought I could fake it and tell him that we’re happy, but the sadness in my eyes must have been a dead giveaway. I caved, under his gaze, when he asked about the father of my baby, and I told him the story about how Cooper and I met. I had no idea Wes would summon Cooper to his office.
And now that meeting is over and Cooper wants to talk. Honestly, I don’t know what to expect. I know what I want, but that may not be what’s best for Cooper. I’ve seen the gossip columns and the pictures with other women. He’s moved on, like he should have.
I type out my response, telling him where I’m staying and what room. He replies immediately, telling me that he’s on his way, giving me very little time to prepare. In hindsight, I should’ve chosen a hotel farther from the stadium, but I was trying to make things convenient for me when I met Wes and Cooper the other day.
The knock on the door startles me, even though it shouldn’t. I hesitate briefly before opening the door. If I expected Cooper to be excited to see me, I’d been a fool. The man staring back at me with his arms resting on the doorjamb is not the man I remember. This one is hard with almost soulless eyes, while the one I was falling for months ago could make my knees weak with just one look.
I step aside and let him in, and mentally prepare myself for what’s surely going to be a fight. The only other time I’ve fought with someone was my ex back in college. The day I found him cheating was enough to rip me to shreds and make me pound my fist into his chest. The combination of hurt and anger was too much to keep bottled in, and something in my gut tells me that Cooper is feeling that way now.
“Guess where I was this morning?” he says as he enters. I’m not sure if this is a rhetorical question or not, and I’m not sure how to answer.
“No? No guess?” he states when I don’t answer him. “Help me out here, Ainsley, because I’m really getting confused. You tell me yesterday that we’re having a child after months of not even seeing or speaking to each other, and then you go and tell my boss, who just happens to be your fucking father that you conveniently forgot to tell me about?” His hands flail, and his face is red. My heart beats rapidly, afraid of
the words that are coming out of his mouth.
“It’s not like that,” I retort.
“What’s it like, then? Because I’m having a hard time comprehending all of this. Wes Wilson is your father, and he just reamed my ass for getting you pregnant! I don’t give a shit if he’s on me about my performance on the field, but when he’s fucking telling me to man up not even twenty-four hours after I find out about you and the baby, it’s a bit damn, well, disconcerting.”
My room is small and cheap and doesn’t give us much room to move. I stand by the door while he paces back and forth. “I don’t know.” My words are weak, and my lip trembles. The last thing I wanted to do is upset him. “I found out that Wes was my father after my mother died. It was just dumb luck that he happened to be your manager.”
“Dumb luck.” He sighs. “How long have you known him?”
I take a deep breath. “I met him a couple of hours or so before you came to the restaurant. Once I found out who my father was, I knew I needed my baby to know its father, too.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know they’re taken wrong by the look on his face. I close my eyes, wishing I could take it all back.
“Now was the time to tell me? Yesterday you said you didn’t fucking know!”
“I didn’t mean it like that, Cooper.” I plead with him to understand.
“How exactly did you mean it? You found your father and suddenly it dawns on you that I may want to know that you’re pregnant? Were you even planning on telling me at all?”
“Yes.”
“When, Ainsley? You’re showing! Call me fucking stupid, but to me that means you’re pretty far along. Is the baby even mine?” he asks as he sits down. He doesn’t look at me, keeping his eyes focused on the ground.
“Yes, it’s yours.”
“How can I trust you?”
“I guess you can’t,” I say, defeated. “I understand if you want a paternity test. We can do one once the baby is born.”
If that is what Cooper wants, I have no reason not to give it to him. I had hoped things would work out differently between us, something amicable, but I can see that isn’t going to happen. If he doesn’t trust me now, will he ever? I don’t want to live my life with someone always second-guessing my actions.
I stand and go to the closet, pulling out my suitcase. Cooper is the only reason I’d stayed in Boston longer than I need to be here. Wes and I can build a relationship through e-mail and phone calls. I hope he’ll understand why I had to leave Boston so suddenly.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going home,” I tell him as I take my clothes out of the drawers.
“So you’re just going to leave? You come here to fuck everything up, and now that you’ve done that, you’re going to bail?”
“What else was I supposed to do, call you?”
“You’re not supposed to leave because I’m questioning whether or not the baby is mine. Jesus, Ainsley, we haven’t spoken in months nor have we seen each other. Give me a break and let me process all of this. Fuck!” he yells, running his hands through his hair. “And the fact that you went to Wes…Do you even have any idea what that is going to do to me?”
“I don’t understand what the hangup about Wes is,” I tell him honestly. Shouldn’t he be happy that I found my dad? That I have someone I can count on when I need a parent? When his baby needs a grandparent?
Cooper shakes his head and groans. “If I don’t marry you, I’m on his shit list. Right now I can’t even ask for a trade because I only have a few months of stats accumulated and they don’t match my salary. If I marry you, I become his fucking pet, and the team hates me. Everything I earn won’t be because of my hard work but because I married the skipper’s daughter. You have no idea how completely fucked I am right now.”
“It’s not like you knew when we were together. Surely the team can’t blame you?”
“It doesn’t matter, Ainsley. They’re not going to see it like that. My name is forever going to be linked to Wes and this baby.”
“Then just bail, Cooper. I don’t need you. This baby and I can cope fine on our own.” I throw my hands up and start taking my clothes out of the dresser.
“You think that’s the answer? To just fucking bail because that’s what your father did?”
“He didn’t bail. He didn’t know about me, so he can’t really be blamed for being an absent father, but if you…” I take a deep breath. “If you don’t want this, fine. I can do it by myself. My mother did.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Is it what you want?” I throw his question back at him. Even if Cooper doesn’t want this baby, I do.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, that’s just fucking great, now isn’t it?” I scoop up my pile of clothes and toss them into my suitcase. I don’t care about folding them. I just want to get the hell out of Boston and forget everything that has to do with Cooper Bailey.
“Stop,” he says, grabbing a hold of my arm. When he touches me, it feels as if the chaos and anger around us calms down and everything feels right in my world, even though it isn’t. I can’t hold back the tears and find myself covering my face with my free hand to hide from him.
“Come here.” He pulls me toward him, enveloping me in his arms as he sits on the edge of the bed.
He feels warm, safe, and like I’m meant to be here. I want to be closer, but my growing belly keeps us apart.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“For what?”
He laughs, but I’m not sure why. “For that night you came over and saw me talking to that woman, and for questioning whether this is my baby or not.”
“I should’ve never said the things I did.”
“Yeah? Then why did you?” he asks.
“Because I felt like my mom falling and dying was karma. She told me not to date you and I did anyway.”
He holds me to his chest, rocking us back and forth. I try not to, but I can’t refrain from nuzzling his neck. The way he smells draws in me and brings back the memories we shared, even though they were brief.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he whispers against my skin, igniting my desire for him.
“I don’t want to leave, either.” My fingers play with the ends of his hair as he sighs against me. “I’ve missed you.” I know I’m opening myself up to more hurt when I say this, but I need him to know.
“I’ve missed you, too.” That is when I feel his lips press against my collarbone. I bask in his feather-light kisses, needing more. “I have a road trip starting tonight, lasting six days, but then I have a day off. Stay, if you can?”
I pull away from him and sit on the opposite bed. “You want me to stay?”
“I do. I have a place not far from here. It has two bedrooms, is fully furnished, and in a safer neighborhood. You can stay there as long as you want, and when I get back, we can talk more, figure shit out. Unless…”
“Unless what?” I ask.
“Unless you need to go back. We’re going to Texas and then on to Tampa Bay. I can stay in Tampa for a day longer.”
My heart swells knowing that he wants to see me when he’s off. “I can stay.”
“Okay, good.” He stands and moves over to the dresser and starts pulling out the rest of my clothes. “Go pack your bathroom. You’re coming home with me.”
I try not to act like a giddy schoolgirl but I can’t help it. Once inside the bathroom, I fist-pump and shimmy my hips until I come face-to-face with myself in the mirror. My eyes are bloodshot and dark lines coat my skin under my lower lid. My image reminds me not to look into anything too deeply with Cooper. He could be doing this because I’m carrying his child and it’s the responsible thing to do, not because he wants to be with me.
Chapter 31
Cooper
I don’t know what possessed me to bring Ainsley to my apartment, but I couldn’t let her stay in that shithole. Maybe I could turn that around on Wes and ask him what kind of father l
ets his pregnant daughter stay in a roach motel. That would only bait him into calling me out on more bullshit, though.
Ainsley is currently looking around my apartment, much like she did in Florida, although this place is much nicer. I’m happy she’s here, in my place again. I just don’t like the circumstances. I hadn’t thought much about a reunion with her. I imagine, if I did, it wouldn’t have been like this, with her pregnant.
I let her explore everywhere, even my bedroom, which honestly is where I’d like her to stay. I’m sure being with me is the last thing she wants. I know she said she missed me, but that can be simply because she’s been going through a tough time or the fact that we ended on a bad note.
“Your bathroom is huge.”
Her fingers run along the soaking tub. I thought I’d use it to quiet the ache in my overworked muscles after games, but I never have. “Feel free to use the tub if you want. You can sleep in here too while I’m gone. I think this bed is a little more comfortable than the one in the other room.”
“Thank you,” she says as she continues her exploration. Ainsley moves into the kitchen and opens the refrigerator. “Okay, I expected nothing but cheese and beer.”
“I’m not much of a drinker, plus I have a housekeeper who comes in every other day. She does my grocery shopping, laundry, and cleaning. Her name is Elaine.”
“Does she cook for you?” Ainsley asks as she leans on the counter.
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I honestly don’t cook a whole lot. Breakfast is usually the only meal I eat here. The rest are at the stadium.”
“What about when you’re off?”
I start to laugh. I wish we had days off. “Those are usually rare, except this month we have four. Usually we’re lucky to get one.”
Ainsley doesn’t say anything else and continues to wander through my place. I could stand here and watch her or be useful. And as much as I’d love to just gaze at her all day, I decide to carry her luggage into the guest room.
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