Home Run

by Heidi McLaughlin

  When I step in, it feels wrong. I can’t picture her sleeping here. I quickly turn around and take her stuff into my room, placing her suitcase on my bed.

  “What are you doing?”

  Turning at the sound of her voice, I feel a magnetic pull toward her. With three steps, I’m standing in front of her with her eyes searching my face for some sort of clue as to what’s going on in my head. I take her in, trying to memorize what she looks like with her strawberry blond hair longer than it was when I last saw her. Her stomach is plump and carrying a child that I helped create.

  Every time my gaze meets hers, my heart turns over in response. Urging me to kiss her, hold her, to do anything except stand there. It took me months to get over her, to not hear her laughter, feel her presence, and dream that she was next to me in bed. My game suffered because of her, and I’m not sure I can afford another relapse. I step away, guarding my heart instead of following it. It’ll be safer that way.

  “Don’t.” She reaches for me, taking hold of my shirt as it rests near the waistband of my shorts.

  Ainsley watches me intently with longing in her eyes. Her cautious step forward is not lost on me. And neither is the sensation I feel as her fingers from her free hand play with the scruff on my cheeks.

  “I won’t be able to stop,” I warn her. She’s the last person I had sex with, even though I’ve been dating. None of the women I’ve met have done anything for me. None of them really compared to Ainsley or made me feel like she did by simply being in the room with me.

  “I don’t want you to stop.”

  My lips crash down on hers with savage intensity. My tongue plunges into her mouth, desperate to taste her, to reconnect with her. Fingers are in my hair, grabbing and pulling, while my hands cup her ass, bringing her as close as possible.

  Her hand travels under my shirt, sending a jolt of electricity through my system. I jump, causing her to pull away from me and laugh. And that’s when I see it—the lust in her eyes—and feel the uncertainty building within me. I cup her face and kiss her lightly on her forehead, nose, and finally her full lips, letting them linger there.

  “I have to get to the stadium.” The lie falls easily when it shouldn’t. I still have hours, but I need to take a break. I need to process everything that is going on.

  “Okay,” she says softly. Her voice is laced with disappointment. “What time will you be back?”

  Shaking my head, I sigh and step away from her. I need to have some space because if I don’t, I’m liable to take her now. “I won’t. Not until after the road trip is done. We leave right after the game.”

  “Oh…” Her voice trails off. “So I won’t see you for six days?”

  “I think it works out to be about seven…technically.”

  “Right.” She sits down on my bed, only a few inches from me. The night we first shared comes rushing back to me. Her, in my shirt with my number pressed against her back, her milky white skin coming to life with my touch, and the way she held onto me with her fingers digging into my skin when we connected for the first time.

  “Baseball season is tough, especially on families.” I don’t know if my words are meant to warn her off or what, but she needs to realize that I’m not going to be around a whole lot from March until October. I take a chance and look at her. Her eyes are downcast, and I can see the wheels spinning in her head. Maybe this is a good thing, me leaving for a few days so she’ll know what it’s like when I’m gone all the time.

  “I’ll call you,” I tell her, kissing her quickly on the cheek and making a hasty exit. I need to get out of here before I do anything stupid.

  * * *

  I’m antsy as shit as I drive to the stadium. I hit every single light and car trying to make a left-hand turn against the afternoon traffic. Aside from the obvious reason for having my windows tinted, today was especially helpful because I was flipping people off right and left.

  After I left my apartment I went over to Davenport’s, only to find that he wasn’t home. He’s by far my closest friend on the team, and I need to talk to someone. As soon as I get my car parked, I’m hauling ass to the clubhouse, praying that he’s there. I find him in the gym, working out with Kidd.

  “Hey,” they both say when I walk in.

  “Can I talk to you for a second?” I try to act nonchalant about it, but Kidd eyes me warily. Ethan follows me out of the gym and back to my car. It’s the only safe place to talk without someone eavesdropping. The last thing I want right now is for what I’m about to say to get out and rumors spread. Ainsley and I don’t need that.

  “You quitting or something?” he asks, once inside the confines of my SUV.

  “Nah, man, but I need some advice, and I didn’t want to talk inside the clubhouse.”

  “Okay, what’s up?”

  “Remember that chick I was digging in Florida at the beginning of the season? The one from the zoo?”

  He nods. “Yeah, she was hot.”

  “Right, well we hooked up a few times, and now she’s here…pregnant.”

  His mouth drops open before letting out a long, exasperated sigh. “Is it yours?”

  “Yeah, it is, but that’s not the worst part…she’s Wilson’s daughter.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  I shake my head and keep my eyes focused on the outside world. I can’t look at Davenport right now because I don’t want to see judgment.

  “Dude, does he know you knocked his daughter up?”

  I nod.

  “Wait, did we know he had a daughter?”

  “No, man, and that’s the fucked-up thing. Ainsley didn’t even know he was her father until after her mom died.”

  “And now she’s here? She just showed up on your doorstep?”

  “Nah. She called me the other night. We were at the bar, she tells me she’s in town, so I go meet her for lunch. And she stands up and the first thing I see is this chick that I really liked, pregnant. And I start to think about how I fucked up with her and now she’s with some other dude and how I’ve lost my chance.”

  “Except it’s yours?”

  “Yeah, it’s mine. I don’t think she’d lie about it, especially after the shit her mother put her through with her own dad.”

  Ethan sighs, and we both stop talking. Telling him the story now makes it all more real, but still incredibly fucked up. If I marry her, play out the season and ask for a trade, I’m the bastard who took Wilson’s grandchild away. If I marry her and stay, I’m the manager’s favorite, essentially making me the most hated guy on the team. If I don’t marry her, I can kiss my career with the Renegades goodbye.

  “You’re fucked.”

  “I know.” I agree with him. “To make matters worse, I moved her out of her hotel and into my apartment, and then I almost slept with her.”

  “That will only complicate things,” he says, shaking his head. “Fuck, I sound like a chick.”

  I can’t help but laugh because right now we both do.

  “Does your dad know?”

  “Oh, yeah, my big-ass mouth blurted it right out to him. He doesn’t know that Wilson is her father, though. Not sure how he’ll take that.”

  “I suppose I’m out here because you want some advice?”

  “Pretty much. I don’t know what to do. My career means everything to me, but it’s not going to matter what I do; any decision is going to be the wrong one. If I marry her, I’m Wilson’s pet. If I don’t, he fucks my career.”

  “What’d Wilson say?”

  “Shit, he pulled me into his office this morning and ripped me a new asshole. Told me to man up.”

  “Fuck. I wish Daisy was here. She’d know what to do.”

  “I went to your place first. She wasn’t home.”

  “Let me call her.” Davenport pulls out his phone and calls his wife, putting it on speaker. He gives her the story, complete with the epic fuckery that is going on. Her audible gasps make me cringe.

  “Cooper?”

>   “I’m here, Daisy.”

  “Marry the girl.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Listen to me,” she says. “Marry her, but tell her and Wilson to keep their mouths shut about their connection. If he doesn’t go around telling everyone that he has a long-lost daughter and she doesn’t tell everyone he’s her father, no one, aside from Ethan and I, will know. Wilson’s a good guy, and I honestly think he’ll treat you fairly. You’ve earned your time on the team. Don’t shortchange yourself or your talent.”

  “So you think I should marry her?”

  “You’re having a baby!” she yells into the phone, making Davenport and me laugh.

  “Yeah, I guess I am. Well, she is. I did the fun part and she’s doing the rest. Hey, can you do me a favor?”

  “Anything. What’s up?”

  “Ainsley is at my place. Can you show her around the next few days, get her to fall in love with Boston?”

  “You bet. I’ll look after her. Don’t worry about it, but I gotta run now.”

  “Bye, babe,” Ethan says before hanging up.

  A smile spreads across my face when I think about Ainsley and Daisy hanging out. “Your wife is something else.”

  “Tell me about it. You know she was a fan of mine. This woman would eyeball me something fierce during each game, sitting behind the visitor dugout. One game, I had finally had enough and had one of the ushers tell her I wanted to talk to her. We had a rocky start, but damn if I don’t love her. She’s amazing, and I thank my lucky stars for her every day.”

  “You guys gonna have kids?”

  He shrugs. “When she’s ready. She worked her ass off to get a degree, and even though she doesn’t need to, she works. Daisy is independent as fuck, and I love her for it. Right now she’s having a ball with my niece, Shea.”

  As soon as we see Wilson pull in, we get out of my SUV. Davenport heads back to the stadium while I linger in the parking lot for Wilson.

  “Hey, Skipper,” I say, as I meet him at his car. “Ainsley and I need some time to figure out the right course for us, but I need a favor from you.”

  “What’s that, Bailey?”

  “Can you keep Ainsley on the down-low? Not tell anyone that she’s your daughter? I’ve got a good thing with this team and don’t want to fuck it up.”

  “And you feel that her being my daughter will hurt your career here?”

  He’s a smart man and knows exactly how I’m feeling. I nod and kick a pebble away from me. “People already know we dated back in Florida, and I don’t want shit fucked up.”

  He eyes me warily before agreeing. “Don’t hurt her.”

  I shake my head. “I won’t.” I leave him at his car and hustle back to the clubhouse. It’s not going to matter what I do, as long as I do the right thing for Ainsley and me.

  Chapter 32

  Ainsley

  I don’t know how baseball players remain married. Cooper and I aren’t even together, and I feel like a widow. True to his word, he calls every day, but it’s more of a friendly call, and even though I’ve tried to get more out of him, he’s very matter-of-fact about why’s he calling—to make sure the baby and I are okay.

  Today, I’m hanging with Daisy Davenport. After being cooped up in this apartment for three days, she’s taking me sightseeing and out to lunch with a little retail therapy added in for good measure.

  Daisy is a cute little thing, a few inches shorter that me, but full of life and deeply in love with her husband.

  “We’re going to check out some sites before it gets too warm,” Daisy tells me as she maneuvers the streets of downtown Boston. There’s a crowd of people everywhere, and most of them are wearing some type of sports clothing. About a third of them are in Renegades gear, a few with Cooper’s name on them.

  “Bostonians love their sports teams, huh?”

  “You have no idea,” she tells me as she masterfully parallel parks her car. “After the marathon bombing, the community really came together. We were strong before, but now it’s stronger. And the teams give back all the time. The guys are always down here, just hanging out. A couple of weeks ago, Travis Kidd had a kissing booth set up. Women lined up for miles to give him five dollars for a kiss on the cheek and a photo op.”

  “What’d he do with all the money?”

  “It was a fund-raiser for the children’s hospital.”

  My heart warms, thinking that Cooper could do something like that someday.

  “Ryan Stone, he’s the general manager, well, he’s married to Hadley Carter, and she’s down here a lot playing for the crowd.”

  “Oh, I like her music. Don’t people bother her?”

  Daisy shakes her head and points to where we’re heading. “No, it’s like we don’t care that they’re famous.”

  “Oh, God, I smell cookies.” I rub my tummy, feeling as the baby flutters inside.

  “Come on, they’re delicious.”

  Daisy takes me into Quincy Market and has me weaving in and out of human traffic. The place is packed, and the smell of food has my stomach growling and my mouth watering.

  “This place is like heaven.”

  She laughs and heads down a ramp and into another crowd. “It is, but Ethan and I don’t come here a lot, at least not together.” Daisy stops at the cookie stand and orders a dozen cookies. I want to ask her if those are just for her because, right now, I could get my own dozen and roll in another.

  Daisy hands me a fresh cookie from the bag, and I swear I’m having an out-of-body experience when I taste the warm chocolate as it touches my tongue. “I’ve died.”

  “We’ll come back through before we leave and get you another bag. They’re amazing when you add vanilla ice cream.”

  I’ve never been much of a sweets eater until I discovered I was pregnant. I know it’s all mind over matter and I figure, if I’d never have any cravings, I never accepted that I was pregnant. But I did, and now everything with sugar is my best friend, and chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate.

  We continue to walk and munch on cookies, stopping at a few stores just outside the market. The cobblestone street isn’t helping my back pain, though, and as soon as we find smooth pavement, I’m rejoicing.

  “Are you feeling okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I think it was just the road and walking unevenly.” I stretch and rub the sore spot in my back to try to get rid of some of the pressure.

  Daisy gets us two passes for the Boston tour, making me happy that we’ll be seated for a bit on the trolley. As the tour starts, she points out different things that she finds interesting in addition to what the guide says. At various stops, we get off and walk through an old cemetery where revolutionaries are buried, buy nuts from the street vendor, and then tour the Old State House and the site of the Boston Massacre. By the time we’re done, I’m exhausted and ready for a nap.

  “Are you ready for lunch?”

  “Yes,” I all but beg. I want to sit longer than a few minutes and rest.

  “I’m sorry. You’re probably tired. Pregnant women get tired easily, right?”

  “I don’t know,” I tell her truthfully. “Honestly, this is all new to me. I feel like I’m just now pregnant even though I’m showing. I didn’t know until about a month ago, so I missed the first trimester because my mom was in the hospital and I was stressed out, but I’m sure you already know this.” I know Cooper had to tell his friends something; otherwise Daisy wouldn’t be here.

  “Actually, I don’t. Cooper only told me that you’re pregnant, but I knew who you were already.”

  Daisy tells the hostess that we have two, and we follow her to our seats.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I’ve known Cooper since April, when the guys came home. He stayed with us for a few days until he could get his apartment. He talked about you a lot.”

  “Was he drunk?”

  Daisy looks at me oddly, and I shrug. Most guys don’t open up about their feelings unless they’ve be
en drinking.

  “No, he was just telling us how much he liked you and hated that you guys weren’t talking.”

  “Oh…” I trail off, not knowing what to say. It was my fault we stopped talking. If I hadn’t pushed him away, I’d probably feel like my life made no sense right now.

  The waitress brings our drinks, water for me, and iced tea for Daisy, and we place our orders. I choose a salad with a half sandwich while Daisy opts for the full salad.

  “Can I ask you some questions about life as it pertains to baseball?”

  “Sure, what’s up?” she says.

  “How do you do it? Cooper and I aren’t even together, but I can’t help but feel like I’m sort of lingering. I’m not saying we’ll be together, but I’m concerned about what kind of life the baby is going to have.”

  “I stay busy by working, which takes up any of my free time, but I’m also a fan of the game and have season tickets that belonged to my grandfather, so I sit behind the visitor dugout. I don’t miss any home games, rain or shine. And when Ethan’s away, it’s my chance to spend time with friends, go to the spa, and go shopping. On his days off, we’re together. It works for us, but I knew what to expect going in.”

  “How long have you been married?”

  “Oh, not long. We got married this past off-season.”

  “And you don’t miss him?”

  “I didn’t say that. I miss him all the time, but we talk every day when he’s gone and video chat at night. I’ll watch the game on TV too so I can see him. This is his career, and he had it long before I came along, so I’m not going to tell him he needs to make a change. Besides, seeing him in his uniform, it does things to me.” She winks, and I happen to agree with her. I remember seeing Cooper in the first game I went to and determined that baseball players are the hottest athletes in and out of their uniforms.

  “What about the other women? The ones who constantly throw themselves at the guys?”

  “I trust Ethan. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be with him.”

  Do I trust Cooper? I don’t know if I do. I can’t let what happened between us in Florida sway my mind on whether or not Cooper is going to be a good father. Right now I have no reason to believe he won’t be a good dad, even if he’s absent for some of the baby’s life.