Warrior Spirit (The King of Ireland Book 1)

by Jean Carroll

  He stood there looking contrite. He reached out and started buttoning her blouse.

  “You’re right, Meg.” he said. “It’s just whenever I’m near you, I can’t control it. You have to admit that today you started it. I was just innocently standing there sniffing the straw

  and you jumped me. You can’t really blame me if I got in the spirit of the whole thing.”

  He smiled as he finished buttoning her shirt. She couldn’t help herself. She had to smile

  at him being defensive.

  “Okay, you. You do have a point,” she said playfully, punching him in the gut. He faked bending double in pain. She pulled him up by his hair and he was smiling.

  “You know I’m right!” She said

  “I know, I agree. I’ll try to keep it light, I promise,” he said and took her in his arms and kissed her very sweetly.

  “You know, I forgot, I have to go to DC with Keary to see the accountants. I have to go get changed. I’ll see you later then,” he kissed her again and left the barn.

  FIFTEEN

  The next day when Meg got to the barn, Blackie had Sandman already saddled. He looked up when she walked in.

  “Good morning, Meg, how are you this morning?” he said cheerily.

  “I’m great; it’s good to see you. I missed you last night,” she walked over and kissed him. He pulled her close and kissed her back.

  “I missed you too,” he said huskily.

  “Down cowboy, weren’t you doing something?”

  “Hey, you came over and kissed me,” he said angrily and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “You always blame me for letting things get out of hand, but you sure as hell spread your legs when I want you to and don’t call me cowboy, damnit.”

  His words were like a slap in the face. She was shocked and had to fight back the tears.

  “That just shows you that I’m as frustrated as you are. I want you so bad I can’t stand it but we have to wait until you figure out how you feel about me. What crap!”

  She turned and stomped out of the barn. He ran after her and grabbed her arm, swinging her around to face him.

  “Meg, we can’t fight over this. Both of us are too stressed out over it. Please forgive me for saying that. Your comment just hit me the wrong way. I’m really sorry.”

  She saw remorse and pleading in his eyes. She moved into his arms and hugged him.

  “I’m sorry too. I know it’s not all your fault. It’s plenty mine too. I don’t want to fight either. I’m sorry I made you angry. I didn’t mean to.” She put her face up to him and he kissed her.

  “Okay, can we start this morning over again?” He asked her.

  “You bet. Let’s get to the arena.”

  Blackie led Sandman and put his other arm around her shoulder.

  “I’ll get my head straight about this soon, I promise, honey.”

  “I’ll wait as long as it takes,” she said.

  “Okay, thanks.”

  God, I can’t stand not having her. If I don’t sleep with her soon, I’m going to go raving, fucking insane. It terrifies me though. What if I sleep with her and then I hate her and don’t want her again just like all the hookers and party girls I’ve been with. I know I love her. I can’t ruin this.

  * * *

  They went into the arena and Blackie led Sandman to the center. He vaulted into the saddle and started the horse through gaits and movements. She watched and as usual was in awe of his talent. He worked for almost an hour and then was cooling Sandman down when Meg heard the door open. Sean came in and stood next to her.

  “What the hell is he doing? He knows he’s not supposed to be riding. Son of a bitch! He always does exactly what he wants to do.” Sean started to get loud; Blackie heard him and turned toward them.

  “This is entirely your fault! Why are you letting him ride your horse? You’re encouraging him to go against his family!” Sean yelled at her.

  Blackie jumped off Sandman and got in Sean’s face.

  “Don’t ever yell at her again! This was my idea, not hers!” he yelled at Sean with his fists clenched.

  “Then what the fuck is wrong with you? Hasn’t this family gone through enough? Are you trying to finally kill yourself?” Sean yelled back.

  “What about what I’ve been through? I can’t give up riding no matter what you all say and I won’t! I’m not backing down!” Blackie yelled.

  “You selfish bastard! We didn’t think you’d live much less walk again and look at you. But you’re not satisfied with merely walking you have to ride too. You can’t have everything you want. Now she’s encouraging you against us!”

  At that, Blackie slugged him hard and Sean hit the ground, out cold. Blood running out of his nose.

  “Shit,” Blackie yelled and hit the wall with his fist.

  “Fuck,” he paced back and forth a couple times and then took out his cell.

  “Keary, get over to the arena and bring some ice. Sean’s probably got another broken nose,” he paused and blew out a big sigh. “I hit him,” he said and hung up.

  He put the phone in his pocket and knelt down beside Sean.

  “Sean, come on buddy, wake up.” Sean groaned and stirred slightly when Blackie patted his shoulder.

  “Be prepared for another fight when Keary gets here,” Blackie warned her. “Could you get hold of Sandman while I watch Sean?”

  “Sure.” She ran into the arena, calling the horse who looked scared.

  Keary and Jill came in with a couple packs of ice. They knelt down over Sean and put the

  ice on his head and nose. He moaned and rolled over onto his back. Jill had a towel and dabbed at his nose. Keary jumped up and went after Blackie.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Keary yelled in his face but Blackie held his ground. “What was this about?”

  “I was riding Sandman and Sean came in and started yelling at Meg, saying it was her fault.”

  “Just grand, the same old shit! Was it worth hurting Sean again? What is wrong with you? When are you going to control yourself? I’m sure he wasn’t picking on Meg on purpose. Why can’t you keep your little, million-dollar ass off a horse? Do you have a death wish?” Keary yelled at him.

  Meg saw Jill start to say something and Blackie shook his head at her and she kept quiet.

  “No. I don’t have a death wish. I know if I can handle a horse or not. He needs to leave Meg out of this fight. It was my idea and I asked her if I could ride her horse. She’s had misgivings about it from the beginning. Why can’t you all see that I’m not doing anything dangerous! I’m sorry Keary, but I can’t give up riding. It’s too much a part of who I am!”

  “If you’d actually accept who you are, maybe you’d be more careful. We’ve tried to protect you so the line can continue, but all you’ve ever done is be reckless. You don’t give a shit for the feelings of those who love you.”

  “Oh, Christ, don’t bring that bullshit up again,” Blackie said.

  “Oh, yes, thousands of years of Irish kings is bullshit! I’m really tired of that attitude!” Keary yelled.

  “Blackie, what is he talking about?” Meg asked, confused about this continuing fight.

  “Meg, I already told you!” Jill exclaimed.

  “I didn’t think you were serious. I guess it didn’t sink in.”

  “I’m the fucking prince of Ireland, that’s who I am and I don’t want any part of it. Nobody recognizes the nobility in Ireland. It’s archaic, elitist, sexist, and stupid. I don’t want to hurt you guys, but this is my body and my life and I’m going to live it my way! Come on Meg,” he grabbed her hand and pulled her and Sandman behind him as he walked out of the arena.

  “Don’t go far, you two. I want to talk to you both after lunch,” Keary yelled after them.

  * * *

  Blackie walked fast and she could hardly keep up with him. He kicked stones out of the way as they walked. She didn’t want to say much of anything until he cooled down. He unsaddled Sandman an
d started brushing him down so hard the horse was quivering in fright.

  “Here, let me do that,” she said and he handed her the brush and stuffed his hands in his

  pockets. He started pacing and kicked whatever was handy- a bucket, the wall. Sandman was skittish and jumpy.

  “Blackie, go outside and kick stuff, you’re scaring the horse,” she said, finally.

  “Shit!” he said and sat on a hay bale.

  She finished grooming, put Sandman in the stall and sat next to Blackie. She took his hand in hers and he squeezed it. She could feel how tense he was.

  “What are we going to do?”

  “I’m going to keep riding and I don’t give a shit if they don’t like it. What’s he going to do, fire me, throw me off the farm? I wish they’d just leave me alone.”

  “Jill was going to tell him she knew and take up for you. Why didn’t you let her?”

  “I don’t want to start trouble between her and Keary. I don’t want her to have to take -sides. He’s her husband and I’m her brother. She should stand with him. It’s not your fight either. It’s between me and Keary. I won’t stand for anyone putting any blame for this on you. It’s totally my decision to ride. You tell me if Sean bullies you again.”

  “Honey, Sean didn’t do anything to me; he was just upset.” she said trying to placate him. She didn’t want him fighting with them over her.

  “No, I won’t tolerate him yelling at you like that. I won’t have it,” he said, raising his voice.

  “Okay, calm down.” He took her hand in both of his and rubbed it. She could see how unhappy he was over this situation. His family loved him dearly and he loved them the same, but this was tearing them apart. She put her arm around him and he leaned his head on her shoulder and sighed.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do about this. It’s too much stress. I don’t want to have to hide what I’m doing. It makes me feel creepy.” He put both arms around her and they sat there like that for a long time. She could feel him start to relax a little. He raised his head and kissed her very gently.

  “Do you think I’m being selfish and stubborn, Meg?”

  “No, I understand how you feel about riding. I also understand that they’re terrified that something will happen and you’ll be crippled or worse. I worry about that myself when I know you’re going to ride. Jill’s just happy that you’re alive and can walk. I don’t think any of them are able to get past that. Not yet, anyway.”

  “I don’t want to worry or hurt them, but I have some confidence in my ability to ride again. I didn’t have that confidence back six months ago. Now that I’ve been riding, it’s starting

  to come back. Before the accident, I knew I could do anything. I was fearless, nothing stopped me. I want that feeling again, but everyone’s fears are undermining that.”

  “You’ll get it back; it will just take awhile longer. Hey, what did Keary mean about your

  million-dollar butt?

  “Oh, that. It cost a little over a million bucks to fix my hip.”

  “A million dollars! Why’d it cost so much?”

  “They got this doctor, a reconstruction, orthopaedic specialist from Zurich. I guess he was kind of pricey. He had to replace a lot of bone, like my hip joint; it’s stainless steel and titanium.”

  “He did an amazing job. Your hip looks good and works incredibly well from the way you ride.”

  “Thanks, Meg. I’m glad you like the result.”

  “Yes, I do. Does it feel funny?” she asked him.

  “”No, I can’t tell the difference from the other hip. My right side is heavier and I’ve had to learn to compensate.”

  “Why is it heavier?”

  “There’s a lot of metal besides the joint, holding it all together. I don’t notice it unless I’m diving, then I have to compensate to keep my body straight.”

  “Diving? You mean like in a pool?”

  “Yes. I used to dive for Cornell when I was up there.”

  “That’s cool. You’re amazing and ...

  “Fuck it! Let’s go get lunch and stay for the lecture afterwards,” he said kissing her again.

  “Oh great, that sounds like fun,” she said as they walked up to the house.

  SIXTEEN

  Keary and Jill were eating lunch when they got to the dining room.

  “Where’s Sean?” Blackie asked them.

  “He’s lying down with ice on his face as usual,” Keary said, scowling at him.

  “Keary, you know I don’t want to hurt him, he just knows how to push my buttons.” Blackie said defensively.

  “Oh really, how the hell would I know that, you’ve broken his nose like four times. Pretty soon he won’t be able to breathe.”

  Jill looked at Meg and rolled her eyes. Blackie stared at Keary a minute as if he was

  going to argue. Then he turned and went up the stairs.

  Keary threw his napkin down and said, “Jill, Meg, you guys better talk to him and see if

  you can get him under control. The next time he hits Sean, I’m going to call the police and charge him with assault!”

  “Keary, you wouldn’t! You know how much trouble he’ll get in,” Jill pleaded.

  “Why would he get into a lot of trouble,” Meg asked, her stomach clenching.

  “Because he’s a martial arts instructor and he’d be charged with ‘assault with a

  deadly weapon’,” Keary said wearily.

  “I knew I didn’t want to hear that answer. What else don’t I know about him?” She exclaimed.

  “That’s another thing! When is he going to come clean with this girl who he supposedly

  loves?”

  “He told you he loves me?”

  “Jesus Christ, you mean he hasn’t told you yet?” Keary said, shaking his head.

  “Keary, calm down, please! Hasn’t today been bad enough?” Jill said, giving Meg a tired, little smile.

  “I don’t know what to do with him. He says he’s not backing down on the riding thing,” Meg told them.

  “Okay, you two are going to hear all about that God-awful accident and then maybe he’ll appreciate how we feel. I even have a video of the thing.”

  “Oh, good God, Keary! You wouldn’t show them that?” Jill said, alarmed. “I can’t watch it,” she said, visibly shaken.

  “I know, honey, I won’t show them, but it might get through that thick skull of his.”

  Just then, Sean and Blackie came downstairs. Blackie had his arm around Sean’s shoulder and they were laughing. Sean had a purple eye and a swollen nose.

  “I see you two made up, good. So, Blackie, you’re determined that you’re going to ride, no matter how we feel?” Keary said bluntly.

  “Keary, I understand how much I put you all through with the accident, but …

  “Blackie you have no idea the nightmare that this family went through with that accident.

  I know you don’t remember any of it and I’m thankful to God that you don’t. However, I’m going to tell you and Meg exactly what happened so you know where we’re coming from. It’s not that we want to take riding away from you; we know how much you love it. We’re just terrified that something will happen to you.” Keary said, his voice wavering.

  “I won’t give it up. I’m not going to get hurt, damnit.”

  “Shut up, Blackie and listen.”

  “It was two years ago and Blackie was winning the Cheltenham Gold Cup in England. He was in front by a length and a half and in his favorite position, second from the rail. They took the last fence, his horse tripped, went down and Blackie landed on his back. He quickly rolled to his side and his helmet popped off. We were watching this through binoculars.

  It was the most terrifying thing to see and then it got worse! It looked like the horse behind him landed right on him and then kicked him in the head.” Keary told them haltingly. He had to stop to get himself under control.

  Jill jumped up. “I can’t listen to this,” she said and w
ent upstairs.

  Blackie was frowning.

  “Then the next horse hit you. Then the rest of the field went past and we couldn’t see you anymore. We ran to the ambulance but it had already left so the guards took us out to the track.”

  “When we got there, it was the worst thing we’d ever seen. Your sister fainted as soon as she saw you. Sean and I went out on the track after you with the paramedics.”

  Keary choked up and Sean had tears in his eyes.

  “Blackie, when we got to you it was like a war zone. There was blood everywhere. Your head and face were covered in blood, your silks were red; the fucking grass was red. Sean threw

  up and I thought I was going to pass out. We thought for sure you were dead.” Keary took a deep breath.

  “The medics said they got a pulse. They put a collar on your neck and carefully put you on a back board. As soon as they turned you over, you started having trouble breathing, so they intubated you. That helped a little but not much. They started all kind of IV’s. I rode in the ambulance with you and those guys were doing everything they could to keep you alive.”

  Blackie was staring wide-eyed at Keary.

  “They took you into the ER and let me stay for a few minutes. They cut your silks off. You were pale as a ghost, but your body was red and purple where the horses trampled you. You stopped breathing again and they said your lung had collapsed because your chest was crushed.” Keary put his face in his hands and just sobbed. Sean got up and left. Keary got himself under control in a minute.

  “So they cut a hole in your chest and stuck a tube in and all this blood came gushing out. They made me leave because they were rushing you to x-ray and then to surgery. We waited for ten hours before we could see you. They let us go into ICU and you had tubes and wires going in and out of you everywhere. The doc talked to us and told us you had a fractured skull. You were on a respirator because you couldn’t breathe on your own and would need more surgery when you were stable. They said the whole right side of your pelvis was crushed and they weren’t sure if they could repair it. They thought they might ... have to amputate your right leg.”