by Jean Carroll
“No. He didn’t get a chance to give it to her last night. What happened then?”
“Then Ken tried to get him to talk but he went into a rage, yelling about ‘fucking whores’ and he destroyed half the dining room. Chairs, windows, it’s a mess.”
Where is he now?”
“He finally passed out in the den. Dad put him on the sofa and has three of the lads watching him, but if he gets violent again, I don’t know if they can control him.”
“Do you have any tranquilizers?”
“Keary, I’m afraid to give him anything. I don’t know if he’s just been drinking or if he took any drugs.”
“Maeve, he hasn’t been drinking for some time, so if he’s consumed that much alcohol, you might want to call the paramedics.”
“Oh, dear God! I’ll do that right now. Please hurry and get here as soon as you can.”
“We’re on our way.” Keary hung up and made some other calls.
“All right, the Lear just got back. They’re going to change pilots and get it ready to go. Let’s throw some clothes in a bag and be ready to leave in thirty minutes. We have to get to Dulles ASAP.”
* * *
They finally settled in the plane and took off.
“Why don’t you try and take a nap while we’re flying; it’s not going to be fun when we get there,” Jill told Meg.
She tried to sleep but was too nervous and worried. Jill came over and offered her a mild sedative to settle her nerves, which worked because she woke up when they were landing in Dublin. They got in a rented SUV and took off with Keary driving. When they pulled into the driveway, they were shocked to see it empty.
They scrambled out of the car and Sean banged on the front door. Martha, red-eyed and sniffling, opened it and burst into tears when she saw Jill.
“Oh, m’lady, tis awful, just awful!” Martha exclaimed and fell into Jill’s arms.
“Martha, what happened? Where is everyone?” Jill asked, her voice shaky.
“They took Master Blackie to hospital. He was bad off, m’lady,” Martha said and started crying harder.
“For God’s sake, what happened?” Keary shouted.
“Keary, don’t yell at her, she’s upset enough. Martha, dear, do you remember what hospital they took him to?
“Oh goodness, let me think, m’lady. It was all so upsetting … .I believe it was Bon Secours over in Tralee.”
“Thanks you, Martha. Are you here by yourself? Are you fine, then?” Jill asked.
“Aye, m’lady, Eamon’s coming up as soon as the horses are put right for the night. I’ll fix us a bit of supper. It’ll give me something to do. I’ll pray for Master Blackie, m’lady, I will.”
“Thank you, Martha. We’ll let you know what’s happening. I assume my parents went to the hospital as well?”
“They did, yes. Himself and Her Ladyship were dire upset, they were. Oh, poor, dear boy,” Martha said, and started crying again.
“We’ll be back later,” Keary told Martha.
“Yes, Sir.”
“Come on, Jill, let’s get going.” Keary said, pulling Jill to the car.
Sean and Katie were quiet through the whole scene with Martha. Keary looked in the rear view mirror as he sped off for Tralee.
“You okay, Sean?”
“No, how could I be, Keary? He must be bad if they had to take him to the hospital, “I can’t …
Sean put his head in his hands and Katie put an arm around him.
“He’s tough, Sean. Don’t think the worst, damnit!” Keary said, driving as fast as the small roads allowed.
When they got near Tralee, Keary got confused. “Where the hell is the damn hospital? Shit!”
“Keary, calm down. Take the next left and after a few squares, turn right.” Jill said.
They squealed into the hospital lot, parked and hurried to the ER.
“We’re here for Blackie O’Brien. Can you tell us where he is, please?” Jill asked the nun at the desk.
“He’s in Intensive Care. Are you a relation, then?”
“I’m his sister. Which way is it?”
“Go up to the next floor and to the end of the hall. Only one family member for five minutes at a time. I believe his parents are with him now.”
“Thank you, Sister,” Jill said and they headed for the elevator.
When they got to the ICU, Kennet was sitting in the small waiting room, looking into a coffee cup.
“Dad,” Jill exclaimed. He looked up then rose and hugged her.
“Dear Lord, I’m glad you’re all here.” Ken said, eyes red and puffy.
“Is he all right? What happened?”
“Christ, Jill, you don’t want to know. He’s so sick. They’ve got him hooked up to IVs and machines doing God knows what. Your mother’s been in there for a bit. We’re taking turns. I can’t believe this happened. I thought he was doing so well,” Ken said and choked up.
“Take it easy, Dad. He’s going to be fine,” Keary said putting his arm around his father-in-law.
Meg dropped into a chair and started to cry. Katie sat next to her and took her hand.
“Meg, he’s here where he’s safe. They’re going to do their best to get him well. He’ll be fine, sweetie.” Meg just nodded, tears running down her face.
“Dear girl, take heart. He’s very strong. They’ll have him right in no time.” Ken slumped into a chair.
“Christ Jesus, I feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do,” Ken said, tears in his eyes.
Maeve came through the door to the ICU and sagged when she saw them.
“Thanks to God, you’re here. I can’t handle this,” she said as Keary helped her to a seat.
“What’s happening, Mom?” Sean asked.
“The doctor said he’d be out shortly to talk to us,” Maeve said as she turned on her husband.
“You see what your wild warrior spirit has done. It’s going to wind up killing my son,” she yelled at her husband.
“He’s my son too and that wild spirit might just pull him through, woman. I’ll not hear another word!” Ken snarled and stomped out of the room.
“Oh, dear, we’re both so stressed.”
“We know, Mom,” Jill said and sat down to console her mother.
A tall man in scrubs came through the ICU door.
“Are you the O’Brien family?”
“We are, yes. How is he?” Keary asked.
“I’m Dr. Malone, Mr. O’Brien’s vitals are slightly better than when he came in but not much. He’s seriously dehydrated and his heart rate is very high because his heart is trying to get the alcohol out of his system. We’re giving him fluids, IV, with some medications in it to keep him from metabolizing the alcohol. We got the tox report back and luckily the only thing in his system is alcohol, no drugs. I have to tell you that the alcohol in him is at the lethal level, so he’s not out of the woods yet. We’re doing everything we can to help him.”
“Thank you Dr. Malone,” Ken said.
“Another couple of hours and we’ll see. I’ll keep you informed.”
“Meg, would you like to go in and see him. I’ll go with you,” Keary asked.
Meg nodded and got up.
“Keary, only one of us at a time,” Sean said.
“I don’t give a shit. She needs someone with her.”
“You’re right. We’ll wait out here.”
“Meg, come on, honey, let’s go see him,” Keary said, gently and they walked into the patient area.
When she saw him, she almost fainted. He was so pale and sick looking. All the machines he was hooked to were blinking and beeping.
“Holy Mother!” Keary said.
Meg walked up beside the bed. She bent and kissed his forehead.
“Blackie, I love you. Please get well,” she said, tears falling from her eyes. She was terrified that he wouldn’t make it. “Keary, what if he doesn’t … she murmured through sobs.
“Don’t even think that. He’s tough. He’s bee
n through worse than this. He’s a fighter. I know he’s fighting this and I’ve never seen him give up. Just pray and don’t give up hope.”
“I won’t be able to live if something happens to him,” she whispered.
* * *
The waiting room was quiet and gloomy. No one was saying much. Kennet returned. He and Maeve were locked in a stony silence. Keary came back in alone.
“Is Meg with him,” Jill asked.
“Yes, I thought she needed some time alone with him. She’s beside herself, poor girl.”
“Keary, does all this have anything to do with that bastard, Mickey Reegan?” Maeve asked him.
Keary hesitated and then said, “Well, indirectly. Why do you ask?”
“We heard through some horse people about some of the nasty things that Mickey got Blackie into, the drugs and other problems,” Kennet said.
“Ken saw Mickey in a pub in Dublin and beat the daylights out of him. I think he’s behind all of the unhappiness that Blackie’s been through,” Maeve said.
“You’re right. I’d like a crack at Mickey myself,” Keary said. “Meg knows about it all and Blackie’s been seeing a shrink for the last few months and doing better. Friday we went to a Jockey Club dinner dance and two society bimbos that were in Blackie’s past, thanks to Mickey, pounced on him and made asses of themselves. He was horrified and couldn’t take it. He took Meg back to the farm and then took off. We didn’t even know where he was.”
“Oh, my God.” I’ll kill that Mickey myself.”
Meg walked into the waiting room, sobbing. Jill hugged her and settled her in a seat and handed her a cup of tea.
“I want to see him. Katie’s going in with me,” Sean said with a grim set to his mouth.
“Okay, call us if he comes around,” Ken said.
Sean and Katie walked through the doors hand in hand to Blackie’s room.
“Oh, God!” Sean gasped and Katie hugged him.
“He’s going to be okay, honey. Don’t worry.”
Blackie groaned and started thrashing around a bit. A nurse came in and injected something in his IV and he quieted down.
“Come on, buddy. You can do this, I know you can. You’re tough. Remember when we were kids? You were fearless. You always jumped off the cliff into the water first, man. Come on and fight …
Blackie’s eyes fluttered open but looked unfocused.
“Blackie, can you hear me? It’s Sean, buddy.”
“Meg … he said just above a whisper.
“She’s hear, man. I’ll get her.” Sean said and rushed out to get her.
“Hey, he’s awake. He said Meg’s name. Come on all of you,” Sean motioned for them to follow him. They surrounded the bed with hopeful faces.
“Blackie, honey, can you hear me?” Meg murmured to him. Blackie’s eyes opened but he just moaned and closed them again. His heart rate monitor was still beeping fast.
“Blackie, come on, wake up. We’re here for you, buddy,” Keary said.
Blackie’s eyes fluttered open again.
“Keary … what happened? Where am I?”
‘You’re in the hospital. We’re all here, buddy.”
Blackie closed his eyes and seemed agitated. The nurse came in again and checked a couple of the machines.
“Would you all mind going out for a bit? He needs to rest. I’ll ask Dr. Malone to come and talk to you.”
“Okay, thank you, Sister,” Maeve said, not too happy with that order. They waited for awhile and finally the doctor came in to see them.
“Well, he is doing better. It’s going to take some time to get all the alcohol out of him but the medications are working. I’m going to keep him here for at least another day. You folks might want to go home and get some rest. He’s going to be out for a time. We’ll call you when he’s fully awake and coherent.
‘Thank you, Dr. Malone,” Kennet said.
“I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here with him,” Meg said with a stubborn set to her chin.
“Meg, dear, he’s going to be asleep most of the time. I don’t like leaving either but since he’s no longer in any danger, we should go home, get something to eat and rest.”
“Okay, I guess,” Meg said, with little enthusiasm. “Can I go in and say goodbye before we leave?”
“Yes, we’ll wait for you in the car,” Jill said.
Meg walked back to his room and stood there and looked at him.
God, I love him so much and I thought we were going to have a happy future together.
Have children. Jesus, what a mess. I can’t deal with this. What if we have a family and he kills himself like this? I can’t even think about that, it’s too hard. He was doing so well coming to grips with his past. I have to think long and hard about our relationship.
Meg stood next to the bed and took his hand. His was sweaty and he didn’t respond to her touch. She leaned in and kissed him gently on the mouth.
“I love you, Blackie. I love you more than anything, more than my own life,” she whispered to him but he didn’t move. She turned sadly, and walked out to the parking lot.
* * *
Back at the O’Brien’s house, everyone was trying to relax in the den with drinks or coffee.
“Meg, he’s too sick right now to be with you. I know you’re devastated,” Jill said.
“I think I want to go home but I want to make sure he knows that I’m not leaving him. I just need some space and time to think. Keary will you tell him that and tell him I love him,” she said.
“Yes, Meg, I’ll make sure he knows. Don’t worry about him. He’s going to be good. I’ll call and tell you what’s happening. ” Keary said, gently, “As soon as we get home, he’s going to the hospital. In fact, he’s going right from the airport. I’ve already arranged it with Dr. Wahlman. Try not to worry. I think you should stay at the farm with us so you’re not alone.”
“I feel like I’m abandoning him.” She started to cry again.
“Meg, he has to do this by himself. You can’t get it out of his head for him,” Jill said.
“Okay. Are you staying here?” Meg asked her.
“No, I’m coming with you. The guys will take care of Blackie. They’ll let us know how things are. I don’t want you to be there by yourself. We can leave for the airport when you’re ready,” she said.
Meg nodded. She hated to leave but she couldn’t stand being there any longer.
* * *
The next day Keary went to the hospital to bring Blackie back to his parents’ house.
He was still groggy and in and out of hangover induced sleep. Dr. Malone told Keary that Blackie was able to go home but should be watched for signs of seizures or black-outs. Keary was in the room waiting for the release papers as Blackie was not very successfully trying to get dressed.
“Was I in an accident? What happened?” he started to get up and couldn’t.
“Blackie, listen. You got drunk and flew over here and your Mom called the paramedics,” Keary told him.
“What the hell? We’re in Ireland? I feel like shit. Why’d Mom call the EMTs?”
“Blackie, don’t get upset but you were so drunk, you were out of control and then you passed out at the house.”
“Fuck,” he said putting his hands over his face, “why, what happened?”
“Uh ... well, the Jockey Club dance and ...”
Blackie looked at Keary and frowned then suddenly remembered.
“Oh God, oh fuck. I can’t believe that happened. No, no, I can’t take it.” He tried to get up, staggered and sat quickly back on the bed.
“Blackie, calm down, it’s okay. Come on, you have to get control.” Keary said.
“Keary, Meg saw those idiot women, she knows what happened with them. I can’t face her. I want to die,” Blackie said.
“Well you almost did and they’re not worth your life. What would Meg do then if you killed yourself, you idiot?” Keary told him.
“What are you talking about?�
�� Blackie said. Keary got and in Blackie’s face.
“You asshole, your alcohol level was up in the lethal range. If your Mom hadn’t called them, you’d be dead. What a wonderful way to go out. You have to face this shit like a man,” Keary said. “Hey, dumb ass, I had to hold that little girl back. She was going to take Millie out.”
“Shit! I’m so ashamed Meg saw them.”
“Oh, quit feeling sorry for yourself. Those women embarrassed themselves, not you. They’re the assholes. You have to quit doing this. We can’t lose you.”
“I need to get up,” he said.
Keary came over and helped him to his feet. He wobbled. Keary grabbed him and sat him on a chair. He looked spacey, like he might pass out any second.
“Here, put your head between your knees,” Keary said as he took his head and bent him over. “Is that better?” Blackie nodded and sat up.
“Come on, kid, let’s go home.”
* * * *
Blackie slept for two more days. The third morning everyone was in the kitchen at breakfast when Blackie came in and sat down. He had showered and shaved but looked very shaky.
“Good morning,” he said quietly.
“Good morning,” they all responded.
“How are you, sweetheart?” Maeve asked.
“I don’t know yet, Mom,” he said.
“You want some coffee?” Keary asked.
“Yes.”
Keary got him coffee and put the cup in front of him. He tried to pick it up but his hand was shaking so that he spilled some.
“Sorry,” he said and put it on the table, bent down and sipped out of it. Keary patted him on the shoulder. Blackie just sat there sipping the coffee without saying anything. He just frowned into the coffee cup.
Finally, he said, “I want to tell everyone how sorry I am about this.” No one said anything at first and then Ken spoke up,
“Son, we’re sorry that so much unhappiness has come into your life. We pray to God that things will change for the better.”
Blackie nodded and said, “Thanks, Dad, I hope so too.” Blackie was quiet for a long time and then said quietly to Keary,
“Where’s Meg?”
“She went home with Jill.”
Blackie flinched as if Keary hit him.
“Yeah, I guess so.”