Home for Chirappu

by Ariel Tachna

  “We’re here.”

  Trent looked out the window as they pulled into the resort. No surprise given the name, small pagodas dotted the verdant grounds. They drove past those to the main building at the center of the complex. Nik’s father parked and they got out.

  “We’re a few minutes early if you want to walk around a bit,” Shankar said. “No one else will arrive for at least half an hour, and if they do, you can make a grand entrance.”

  “No grand entrances, Achan,” Nik said fervently. “We’ll draw enough attention to ourselves just by being there.”

  “Take a short walk then, kutta. Show Trent the resort and catch your breath before everyone gets here.”

  Trent touched Nik’s arm before he could say anything else. A few minutes alone with Nik sounded like heaven. “I would like to see it.”

  “I guess we can take a quick walk.”

  Trent smiled gratefully as Nik led him away from the parking lot and into the gardens behind the reception. “You okay?” he asked when they were out of earshot.

  “Mostly,” Nik replied. “I knew Amma and Achan would be glad to see us. Same for Nareshkumar and Nandini. I have no idea how everyone else will feel. Hell, for all I know, nobody will come because I’m gay. After today, I can’t pretend they’d welcome me back if only I came home.”

  “Maybe, or maybe after today you’ll know they love you no matter what,” Trent said. His heart ached for Nik. He’d been so confident about their trip, even eager when they talked about it. Where had this doubt been hiding and how had Trent missed it until now?

  “That would be nice,” Nik said, “but I’m not holding my breath. I just hope the ones who don’t approve choose not to come instead of choosing to make a scene when they get here.”

  “What will happen if they make a scene? Will it change the way your parents feel about you? Will it change your decision to be who you are?” Would it change Nik’s willingness to be with Trent? He wouldn’t ask that part, but if it was a possibility, he’d rather know now than later.

  “No, of course not,” Nik insisted, “but it will make the party uncomfortable, and having me thrust in their faces as opposed to off somewhere out of sight could make things difficult for my parents or for Nandini when she’s ready to get married.”

  “Your parents are adults and they’re the ones who organized the party, so I think they’re ready to deal with it or don’t see it being a problem in the first place.” When had he become the confident one in this situation? Nik was usually the one reassuring him, but right now Nik needed him, and he would do his best. “As for Nandini, that hug you walked in on? That was at the end of Nandini telling me she wasn’t ready to get married and that when she was, she wouldn’t marry anyone who couldn’t accept her brother too. So you’re worrying for nothing. If the worst happens, it happens, and when the evening is over, we’ll go home to your parents’ house and enjoy the rest of our vacation. If the best happens, you won’t have to worry about your family’s reaction anymore.”

  Nik leaned against Trent. Trent put his arm around Nik’s waist to support him. “Thank you. I lost my perspective there for a bit,” Nik said. He tilted his head up for a kiss that Trent gave freely. They might be “in public,” but no one was around and Nik need reassurance. That took precedence over any sense of decorum.

  Trent didn’t linger over the kiss—a soft brush of lips to assure Nik he was there and wasn’t going anywhere. Nik wrapped one arm around Trent’s waist as Trent lifted his head. The sound of cars on gravel intruded on their private moment.

  “That would be my family arriving. I guess we should go greet them.” Nik didn’t sound enthusiastic.

  “Only if you’re ready. We can stay out here the whole time if you want.”

  “Amma would never forgive me, and I do want to see everyone. I just wish I knew how they would react first.”

  “There’s only one way to find out.” Maybe they should have gone to see each family individually. That would have avoided the possibility of one person’s disapproval spreading to everyone else, but that also would have meant this same worry multiple times instead of dealing with it once and being done. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  They entered the reception hall through the back door, giving themselves a few more moments before they had to face the new arrivals and whatever reaction they might have to Trent’s presence. Trent had no illusions. If he weren’t there, Nik’s homecoming would be easier because people could pretend Nik was still single, and if he was single, he might eventually bow to family pressure and marry a good Indian girl. Trent was neither Indian nor a girl. Nik might want him there, and Leelavati and Shankar had welcomed him, but the rest of the family might not be so happy to see him.

  They only made it a few steps into the room before Nandini and Nareshkumar flanked them. Varsha joined them up a moment later, handing Shilpi to Trent and giving Swopna to Nik.

  “A united front?” Nik murmured.

  “It can’t hurt,” Varsha replied with a shrug. “It’s easy to ostracize one person. It’s a lot harder to ostracize a whole piece of the family.”

  Her words added to Trent’s concern, but Nik’s parents had organized this party. They couldn’t believe it would be as bad as Nik feared or they wouldn’t have put him in this situation. Trent still braced for a long afternoon.

  Nik’s cousin Abilash was the first one through the door, followed by an older couple Trent hadn’t met yet.

  “Achan’s eldest brother and his wife,” Nik said. He took a deep breath and went to greet them. Determined not to leave Nik alone to face his uncle, Trent followed half a step behind. Shilpi was a warm weight in his arms, reminding him he had support as well. Hopefully Swopna served as the same reminder for Nik.

  “Sagun uncle,” Nik said as he approached them. “It’s good to see you again.”

  Sagun patted Nik’s shoulder. “You’ve grown up since you’ve been gone.”

  “It has been ten years.”

  “That long? You shouldn’t do that to your mother.”

  “I won’t do it again, uncle,” Nik promised. “Uncle, this is Trent.”

  Trent waited for Nik to give an explanation of their relationship, but Nik left it at that.

  “Nice to meet you, uncle,” Trent said. He braced himself for Sagun’s reaction to the title, but Sagun simply nodded.

  “Shankar speaks highly of you. You work with Nikhilesh in Chicago?”

  “Yes, that’s right.” They did a whole lot more than just work together, but Trent let it go at that. No need to rock the boat.

  Susheela and Ramakrishnan arrived before the conversation could grow awkward. Susheela swooped down on Trent and snatched Shilpi from his arms as she leaned in to kiss his cheek. Ramakrishnan tutted at her and offered Trent his hand. “Good to see you again, Trent. I see you’ve met Sagun chettan.”

  “Nik just introduced us,” Trent replied. “It’s good to see you again too.”

  “I have some things for the party in the car,” Ramakrishnan said. “Would you mind helping me bring them in?”

  Trent glanced at Nik, but Nik smiled and nodded, so he must have been all right with Trent leaving for a moment. Trent smiled back and followed Ramakrishnan back into the parking lot.

  “I’m sorry to drag you away, but I know my brother-in-law. He was about to start with the questions. Better for you to miss that.”

  “What about Nik?”

  “He’ll be gentler with Nikhilesh than he would have been with you. Nikhilesh is family.”

  And Trent wasn’t. His stomach sank. He’d thought Ramakrishnan and Susheela were on his side.

  “He’ll come around,” Ramakrishnan continued. “The Sharmas, especially the men, are very protective of their family. Those of us who marry into the family learn to live with it, and eventually they come around to including us in their circle. You just have to give them time. Shankar chettan has gotten there with you, but the others only found o
ut about you recently and are meeting you for the first time. It will get better.”

  Maybe Ramakrishnan was on his side after all. “Thank you, uncle. I just hope they’ll give me the chance to prove myself.”

  “They will because Shankar chettan won’t give them a choice,” Ramakrishnan said. “He may not be the eldest, but he has enough stubbornness for the lot of them. They’ll come around.”

  Trent took the box Ramakrishnan handed him and started back inside, mind racing as he tried to process what he’d just heard. Ramakrishnan and Susheela, but more importantly Shankar considered him part of the family already. All the loneliness of growing up as an only child swamped him, but inside stood a new family—a large, loud, overwhelming family—that could be his if he embraced it.

  He set the box on a table, not bothering to see what was inside, and rejoined Nik. Nik looked a little harried, but he smiled at Trent’s approach. Putting an arm around Nik’s waist was probably a bad idea, so he settled for resting his hand in the small of Nik’s back. Shankar often touched Leelavati that way as they walked. If they could do it, he could too. Nik’s expression betrayed his surprise, but he didn’t pull away.

  Sagun’s gaze followed Trent’s movement, but though his expression grew pinched, he simply said, “Nikhilesh has been telling me about Chicago.”

  Trent smiled. “Have you ever visited? It’s a wonderful city.”

  AN HOUR later, Trent’s head spun with names and faces and conversations too numerous to remember. Fortunately Nik’s eyes looked as glazed as Trent’s felt; he wasn’t alone in feeling overwhelmed.

  “As soon as Muthassan and Muthassi get here, we’ll eat, and that will give us a break,” Nik said as they retreated to a corner for a moment alone.

  “Good. I’m getting hungry. What are we having?”

  “Probably biryani, but I didn’t ask. I figured it didn’t really matter since the menu was already decided and you eat anything we put in front of you.”

  “I like Indian food,” Trent said.

  “Just Indian food?” Nik teased.

  “I can think of a few other Indian things I like,” Trent replied with a slow grin. He looked down at his feet. “Indian sandals.” Up the length of Nik’s body. “Indian clothes.” Around the room. “Indian architecture.”

  Nik poked him in the side. Trent laughed and resisted the urge to kiss Nik with his whole family looking on. “Oh, I knew I forgot something. Indian men. Or one Indian man, anyway.”

  “Good.” God, what Trent would give to kiss the smirk off Nik’s face, but it wasn’t worth the risk of everyone’s reaction. Indian couples didn’t kiss in public, no matter their orientation.

  “Nikhilesh kutta.” They broke apart at the sound of Leelavati calling Nik’s name.

  “Yes, Amma?”

  “Oh, there you are. Muthassan and Muthassi just arrived. You and Trent should go to the door to greet them.”

  They wove their way through the crowd to the door just as Nik’s grandfather got out of the car. “Help my grandfather?” Nik asked. “I’ll walk with my grandmother.”

  Trent nodded and approached the car. “Hello, Mr. Sharma,” he said, holding his hands out in greeting.

  Nik’s grandfather smiled, the expression almost mischievous, as he pressed his hands to the back of Trent’s. “None of Nikhilesh’s friends have ever called me Mr. Sharma. If those two girls he spent all his time with can call me Muthassan, so can you.”

  Trent bowed his head in acknowledgment, the full weight of that approval slamming into him. “I’d be honored, Muthassan.”

  Heart pounding, he offered Muthassan his arm to help him inside. He could hear Nik talking to his grandmother, but the words didn’t penetrate the buzzing in his ears. Besides, they were probably speaking Malayalam. No one had been overtly critical of Trent’s presence, but Muthassan had gone far beyond that to full acceptance.

  They walked inside, Muthassan still gripping his arm. Tense silence greeted them as everyone turned to look their way. Trent froze.

  Muthassan squeezed his arm. “Don’t let them get to you, kutta. They’ll come around.”

  Trent looked down at Muthassan. “With you on my side, I wasn’t even worried.”

  Muthassan cackled. “Smart boy. Now, find me a seat. My old bones are tired.”

  TRENT’S MIND whirled as he changed out of the suit he’d worn to the party. The rest of the afternoon had gone more smoothly than he could have imagined. Muthassan’s approval had silenced any remaining disapproval, but it had gone beyond that. Nik’s cousins, in particular, had gone from being reserved to being downright friendly, as if they had been waiting for parental—or grandparental—permission to treat Trent as part of the family.

  He’d never been part of a family like that, and he wanted it. He wanted Nik and everything that came with him. Taking a deep breath, he went in search of Nik.

  He found him in the living room with Nandini and Swopna.

  “Can I steal Nik for a few minutes?” he asked.

  “Of course,” Nandini said, pulling Swopna onto her lap.

  “What’s up?” Nik asked.

  “Take a walk with me?”

  Nik lifted his eyebrows but followed Trent outside. Trent slipped his hand into Nik’s as they walked deeper into the garden. The coconut and banana trees provided a modicum of privacy in the deepening twilight, not that Trent expected anyone to spy on them from the house. Still, he didn’t want an audience.

  “This may be my favorite place in the world,” Nik said as they walked. “Every time I smell jasmine, I’m right back here.”

  Trent smiled. He’d made the right choice, bringing Nik outside.

  “I had a good time at the party this afternoon. I didn’t expect to, and it was overwhelming at times with all the people, but I enjoyed myself,” Trent said.

  “I did too. Muthassan likes you.”

  “I like him too,” Trent said. “I like your whole family. I was worried what they’d think of me.”

  “They love you. Muthassi already asked when I was bringing you back to visit,” Nik said. “Think you’d want to come again?”

  “Anytime you come,” Trent said. “I, um, I wanted to ask you something.”

  “What?”

  Trent’s pulse picked up as he reached for Nik’s hand. “This is probably presumptuous of me, but….”

  “What, Trent? You know you can ask me anything.”

  He took a deep breath and dove in. “Will you marry me?”

  Nik blinked once, and then again. “You want to…. Really? My crazy family comes with the package.”

  The butterflies in Trent’s stomach exploded. “Really. I know it’s sudden, but I love it here. I love your family. I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  Nik pulled Trent into an embrace, kissing him wildly. Trent took that as acceptance and kissed Nik back, all his nerves dissolving at the touch. Nik wanted him too. He kissed Nik again and then threw his head back to shout with joy.

  Nik shushed him. “They’ll come out to see what’s wrong if they hear you shouting.”

  “I wasn’t planning on keeping it a secret from them.”

  “Me either, but I’d rather kiss you some more before we go tell them.”

  Trent grinned and lowered his head to kiss Nik again. He took his time now that his nerves had faded. Nik’s lips moved beneath his, parting in silent invitation. Trent licked his way into Nik’s mouth and pulled Nik against him so their body heat mingled in the balmy air.

  The boom of fireworks over the temple interrupted them.

  “I thought Chirappu was over,” Trent said.

  “It is, but it’s Christmas Eve. Our neighbors are celebrating tonight, so we celebrate with them.”

  “Shall we give your family one more reason to celebrate tonight?”

  Nik grinned. “Yes, but after that, you’re all mine for the rest of the night.”

  “I’m all yours anytime you want me,” Trent promised.


  They walked back inside, hands still clasped.

  “Is everything all right?” Leelavati asked. “I thought I heard shouting in the garden.”

  “Everything is fine, Amma,” Nik said. “We were celebrating.”

  “That’s right. It’s Christmas Eve. Trent, we didn’t even ask if you wanted to go to Midnight Mass.”

  “That isn’t what we were celebrating,” Trent said.

  “Oh?”

  Nik squeezed Trent’s hand more tightly. “Trent and I are getting married.”

  Nandini’s excited shriek drowned out whatever Leelavati said in response, but she hugged Nik and then turned to Trent and embraced him as well. “Welcome to the family.”

  “Thank you, aunty.”

  She quirked her lips disapprovingly. “If you’re marrying my son, you’ll call me Amma like all my children do. Is that understood?”

  “Yes, Amma.”

  “And you realize you’ll have to come back next year so we can have a reception for you here. I know the wedding will have to be in Chicago, but the family will want to celebrate with you.”

  “We will come back as often as you can stand for us to visit,” Trent promised.

  “Oh, kutta, if that were the case, you’d never leave.”

  “This calls for drinks,” Shankar announced. “Nareshkumar, you know where the brandy is.” Nareshkumar fetched the bottle and some glasses. When everyone was served, Shankar lifted the glass in Trent and Nik’s direction. “Welcome to the family.”

  “Welcome to the family!” everyone echoed.

  Trent could drink to that.

  Glossary

  Chettan – older brother; used as a term for respect for all older male relatives of the same generation

  Chechi – older sister; used as a term of respect for all older female relatives of the same generation

  Kutta – son; used as term of affection for younger males