Colin: A Serial Killer Romance

by Stella Noir

  “I thought you knew it was just a joke, Abby.”

  Silly, gullible Abby. How did you not realize that it was a joke?

  Of course, a cute, popular boy wouldn’t really want to go out with someone like me. Of course, it had been a joke all along. I should have realized it sooner but I was too gullible back then. I could have laughed when he came up to me and I could have told him what a funny joke that was instead of looking down at my hands and saying nothing and trying to will myself invisible for the rest of the year.

  I know it seems like a small thing, an event that barely took up 5 minutes of my life. But small moments can have a big impact. And if I was being honest with myself, it wasn’t just that one thing that made me scared of being tricked. But I wasn’t about to get into all that and dredge up more old, painful memories. I’ve had enough of painful memories this week to last me a lifetime. And now I just felt so incredibly stupid that I had, once again, been gullible Abby, and had been tricked into thinking that I was loved.

  It made me sick to think that I had trusted him, that I had let my defenses down and opened my heart up to that maniac. I really thought that he was different, and even though I didn’t even know then what he was capable of, I was so right to have left when I did. Well, sooner would probably have been better, then I wouldn’t have gotten myself trapped in the basement of his house or mansion or hospital or whatever the hell it was.

  I slowly opened up my eyes again and looked around the room and as I did I noticed a piece of clothing on a chair that looked like the nightgown I had packed in my suitcase. I guess he decided not to bring me the whole suitcase and was picking out my clothes for me. What he had chosen was a sheer baby doll nightgown that I had bought when were together.

  Great. I’m stuck in a hospital mansion with a psycho and I managed to bring the most revealing, almost non-existent, nightgown I own.

  It was incredibly sexy and I thought Jake would love it, but I never got a chance to display it for him. In all the time we were together we only had sex twice. We fooled around plenty, and I really liked how Jake would control me with his dark eyes and sexy whisper, telling me to strip in front of him and then watch me masturbate until I came. But in the six months we were together, actual intercourse was pretty rare. It happened twice.

  Many things crossed my mind when I thought about the number of times we had actually fucked. Like maybe it was his way of taking things slow or maybe I wasn’t sexy enough for him. And yes there was a part of me that wondered what he might be hiding, but there was an even bigger a part that loved the attention. I loved being told what to do by him and I loved the way he watched me. Sex was so different with him than it had been with other men. He wanted to watch me and touch me and lick me. He wanted to explore my whole body with his mouth, and to be honest, I was more intrigued by our lack of intercourse than bothered by it. But now that I was being held prisoner by him I was starting to wonder about everything and I was really starting to wish I had possessed better communication skills.

  I looked at the nightgown on the chair, wishing I hadn’t packed in such a hurry. I had thrown it in without thinking and, of course, it was by far the skimpiest piece of clothing in the suitcase. He also included some of the underwear that I had packed, but from where I was sitting it looked like he had chosen only the most revealing styles.

  Well, that was big of him, I thought as I threw the covers back. I slowly sat up and massaged my temples again, briefly whisking away the pain that had leveled off to a dull ache. I stood and shakily walked across the room to retrieve the nightgown. I didn’t care that it was a ridiculously skimpy little piece of cloth that barely concealed my body, I just wanted to get out of this damned hospital gown. There is truly nothing quite as uncomfortable as a gown that opens in the back. I would be perfectly comfortable walking around naked with just a flannel robe on that is completely open in the front, but the feeling of not knowing what was going on in the back was incredibly unnerving. When I got the nightgown on, I turned the other monstrosity around and used it as a robe, tying it at the front.

  There. That’ll show him.

  Now that I felt somewhat covered up, I needed some water. The pitcher next to my bed was empty so I went into the bathroom to fill it. I had no interest in going out into the hall only to run into that crazy asshole or that horrible nurse, even though I knew one of those meetings was inevitable sometime very soon. I carried the water over to the bedside table and sat down on the edge of the bed. Everything was still moving slowly in my head, and I didn’t know if it was the terrible situation I was in or the drugs that were still lingering in my blood, but I couldn’t stop crying and thinking about how Jake had fooled me. I really thought that he loved me. I mean, besides the fact that he told me that he loved me there were so many other things that happened between us that slowly built up my confidence and had me believing that this time it was real; that this incredibly hot guy was really in love with little old me. The Jake I was in love with didn’t seem anything like the man who was holding me captive here, and I didn’t understand how someone could be so completely different from one minute to the next.

  No matter how much I tried, I still couldn’t help but replay over and over the sweet events that had transpired between us during the months we were together. I sat on the edge of the bed, sobbing into a series of tissues from a box that I had brought back with me from the bathroom and dissected every moment, every word he had said to me when we were together. I didn’t know how much time had passed since there was no clock in the room, so I gauged the hour of the day by how big the pile of wadded up soggy balls of tissues had become on the floor next to the bed. I figured it was probably getting close to lunchtime unless I had slept through both breakfast and lunch today. Maybe some form of dinner was going to be brought to my room soon. I had no idea, and I wasn’t even remotely hungry, but I really didn’t want Jake to come in and see me crying over him, so I tried my best to get it together. But every time I tried to get a grip on my feelings the more they seemed to want to bust out with greater force. And no matter how hard I tried to get the glass of water to my lips, I wound up spilling more than half of it all over myself. I felt like a fool and a failure and I just curled back up under the covers and waited for the inevitable entrance into my room of someone I didn’t want to have anything to do with.

  After wallowing in bed on my side for a sufficient amount of time, I rolled over to face the other side and let my eyes wander around the room, then gasped at what I saw on the bedside table. I had been so preoccupied with the water and tissues on the other side of the bed that I hadn’t noticed anything over there since I’d woken up. I reached out and picked up a paperback book that I had written under a pen name a couple of years ago. As I stared at the book that I now held in my shaking hand my mind raced.

  I had never told Jake that name. I had never even told Jake that I wrote romance novels. How did he know? How the hell could he have found that out?

  As I leafed through the book I heard the lock on the door turn and Jake and the nurse walked in. I hadn’t even thought about it until now, but of course, he had locked me in.

  “I see you found the reading material I left for you. Did you enjoy it?” he asked with that horribly cold, hollow smile of his. I didn’t know if I wanted to confront him about it or not. I felt like he had too much ammunition against me already, and it looked like he knew a hell of a lot more about me than I realized. I also thought it was odd that he happened to come in the room right when I found the book. And the more I thought about it as I looked into his cold, unsmiling eyes, the more I realized that he had had probably been watching me on a surveillance camera this whole time.

  “We have some more tests that we need to run so I’m going to need you to remove your gown now, Abby.”

  He and the nurse were now on either side of the bed and I wasn’t sure what to do. I still hadn’t had a chance to plan out my escape or figure out how I was going to reason my way out of th
is place. I had spent most of the day drugged and had spent the last couple of precious hours I had to myself weeping my eyes out over this psycho, which I’m pretty sure he watched with that creepy smile plastered on his face.

  “Look, I don’t even know what kind of doctor you are. I would really rather have my own physician run any necessary tests if you don’t mind.”

  “According to my records, you don’t have a primary care physician, Abby. This is for your own good. We don’t want you coming down with anything serious if it’s within our power to stop it with some simple tests. Do we?”

  He was talking to me like I was a child and it infuriated me.

  “I told you I don’t want…”

  “Nurse.”

  With that, Jake and the nurse grabbed both of my arms and put my wrists in restraints that were attached to the frame of the bed. I writhed around and kicked as hard as I could but started to feel the strength drain out of my muscles a few seconds after I felt a sharp pain in my arm. He had given me another sedative, but with this one, I didn’t fall asleep. I could barely lift my head or move my arms or legs that were all in cuffs now, but I was still awake and could hear and see everything Jake was doing. He told the nurse to leave, then he turned to the bed and pulled a large black butt plug out of the pocket of his white coat.

  “Wait, what are you doing…” My words sounded slurred and almost inaudible to me as I made a feeble attempt at having a discussion with Dr. Maniac.

  “I’m going to need you to stop talking and listen to me, Abby.” He unbuckled the cuff on one of my ankles and pushed my hip away from him so that I was twisted at my waist and my ass was facing him. I felt him spread my cheeks apart then push my hips toward the mattress so that I was twisted, and exposed to him, even more. Even through the sedative he had given me I was aware that this was a bad situation, but it was more like a thought that I was observing. I knew I should be terrified but all I could muster while his fingers were invading my asshole and pussy was curiosity as if I were hearing a story rather than actually feeling someone’s fingers inside me. He started talking again and as he did I heard the sounds of a bottle cap opening and something squeezing out.

  “I’m going to insert this butt plug inside you right now, and if you’re a good girl I’ll be back in the morning to take it out.”

  I gasped as a cold, hard object touched the sensitive skin between my butt cheeks, then struggled and pulled against my restraints as he slid it all the way in. I had never had anything like this inside me before and even though the drug made me feel somewhat detached, it took a couple minutes for me to adjust to the pain and the feeling of incredible fullness back there. I didn’t even know if it was pain I was feeling at this point or just total humiliation and defeat. Jake had clearly won. I was drugged and restrained and he was invading my body at his whim now.

  The worst part of it, though, the part that was hard for me to even admit to myself, was that I wanted it. It was definitely a physical thing since I could feel my body was responding to him, I was getting more and more wet as I struggled and tried to imagine what he was doing to me. But I also just wanted him. After all that he’d done to me, after everything that had happened since I’d been here, I realized I was still in love with him, and I wanted to feel him touch me. And that made me feel like the worst person in the world. Tears started rolling down my face again as the realization swept over me of just how trapped I was. I was not only trapped in this dark hospital, and tied down in this bed, but I was also trapped by my own feelings for this lunatic.

  After he was done examining me from behind, I felt him grab my leg and move me so that I was laying on my back again, then cuff my ankle back up and cover my legs with the sheet and blanket. He walked across the room and unlocked a drawer that was in a cabinet up against the wall near the bathroom door and when he came back to the bed I saw that he was holding a large pair of scissors.

  “You won’t be needing this anymore,” he said as he cut up the side of the hospital gown I had turned into a robe. He carefully cut down the arm and across the shoulder of the light blue fabric, then walked around the bed and cut the shoulder on the other side. When he was done he pulled on the gown and like a magic trick it slid out from underneath me. I was left virtually naked in the extremely thin, see-through fabric of my baby doll nightgown and the chill in the air caused my nipples to harden immediately. I looked up at him and watched his pupils dilate as he scanned my almost naked body.

  I felt him pull down the part of the nightgown that covered my breasts so that they were completely bared to him, then winced as he pinched both nipples. I didn’t understand how I could be feeling the sensations of pain he was inflicting on my body, but at the same time was totally unable to movie a muscle. It was terrifying. He cupped my breasts and squeezed them firmly as he pinched and twisted the nipples again until I cried out. As he tortured me his face formed that creepy half-smile again, but now that the look in his eyes had changed he almost looked deranged. I had never seen him like this before and I kept vacillating back and forth between being turned on and utterly terrified. I felt like I was losing my mind. He released my breasts and they fell back down towards my armpits, but the nipples were still incredibly stiff and sore. After several minutes he moved his eyes away from my body and turned to walk around the room, addressing me in that cold, professional tone.

  “Over the next few months, I will be conducting a number of tests like this one, Abby. What I will be testing is your willingness to comply, as well as your ability to submit to me and to be controlled by me…”

  As he continued to walk around the bed and talk into the air, I stared at the ceiling and felt the blood drain away from my head and every limb on my body. The realization was slowly solidifying in my brain that he really truly intended to keep me here…as his sex slave…forever. I could only compute bits and pieces of what he was saying to me as I started going into shock.

  “…tests that I have devised myself to determine how best to discipline you and help you submit to me fully…”

  His voice started to go in and out like a radio that wasn’t tuned properly. I didn’t know if I was hyperventilating or if I had stopped breathing, but I felt like I was on the brink of passing out and, between the effects of the drug he had given me and the feeling of terror over the news I was receiving, I had the sensation that my head was being pushed underwater over and over again.

  “…I am well aware of your desire to submit, and I intend to explore your limits and push you beyond them…”

  I tried to move but my body wasn’t responding. I wanted to ask him why he was doing this to me but my lips wouldn’t even open. I felt like all of my senses and bodily functions were betraying me now, that he had control of them. I felt tears roll down my cheeks and into my ears but there was nothing I could do to relieve the tickling sensation they caused. I was his captive now, and he would do whatever he wanted to me from now on.

  “…from this point onward your will is no longer your own. You belong to me.”

  With those last words, he stood at the head of the bed and hovered over me. I looked up at him, hoping that somehow he would suddenly turn back into the old Jake I knew, smile his warm smile and untie me, but even through the blurriness of my tear-filled eyes I could see the cold look on his face. He stuck his hand between my legs and pushed his middle finger up inside me and his smile turned into laughter as he felt how wet I was. He pulled his finger out and shoved it into my mouth, then pushed my head into the pillow with his hand and almost gagged me before pulling it back out.

  “You can’t fool me, Abby. I know everything about you. Everything.”

  He threw the covers over my body then turned the lights out as he left the room, leaving me alone in the dark.

  6

  ABBY

  I woke up with sunlight streaming in through those damned blinds again. I didn’t seem to wake up as late as I had on the previous mornings…or afternoons, but maybe the sedative I had
been given last night wasn’t as strong as it had been on the previous nights, or was a completely different drug altogether. I squirmed around uncomfortably in bed, slowly coming to the realization that I couldn’t move my arms and legs and I really had to use the bathroom. I felt the strange sensation in my ass and remembered the butt plug that Jake had put inside me last night as a test.

  What the hell kinda test is this? To see how far he can push me before I hate his goddamned guts?

  I was really dreading seeing him this morning. I felt incredibly humiliated about what had happened last night, about what he had done to me, but especially about the emotions I had experienced. I was terrified of what he was doing to me, but I also felt like I was getting weaker somehow, and that I was having a hard time convincing myself that I should hate him. I didn’t want to feel this way. I didn’t want to care about him or to be turned on by the things he was doing to me. There was a part of me that was enraged that he was holding me against my will, but there was another part of me that remembered what he was like before, what we were like. I hated myself for it but I really wanted it all back, even though I was the one that threw it all away. I knew it was ridiculous, that his mental state had nothing to do with me, but I kept thinking that maybe if I hadn’t left him he wouldn’t have gone off the deep end.

  Maybe this is my punishment for being such an idiot, I thought as fresh tears rolled down my cheeks.

  The lock in the door clicked, then opened, and that horrible nurse walked in. Watching her approach me with that ugly smirk on her creepy old face gave me plenty of reason to hate her. She had been in on this all along, and I wondered as I watched her undo my cuffs where the hell Jake found someone like her to help him with his messed-up plans.