For Better, For Worse

by Rebecca Winters

  “No, Rafe. It wasn’t like that! You’re not that kind of person. Let me exp—”

  “Mr. Mendez?” An orderly stepped inside with a dinner tray, cutting off the rest of her words.

  Chapter Five

  IN HER NERVOUSNESS, she jumped up from the chair and took the tray, placing it on the table that slid over Rafe’s bed. She thanked the orderly and watched him leave before lifting the cover off the meat-loaf dinner. But Rafe grabbed hold of her wrist with one hand and shoved the table away with the other.

  Despite the violence of his mood, the physical contact sent a curling warmth through her body. It had been six days, an eternity, since she’d known his touch.

  “Do you think I could eat now?” Abruptly, he let go of her hand as if he’d grabbed the wrong end of a hot poker.

  “How is it possible I could meet a woman my brother had been seeing for four months and propose marriage to her within four weeks?”

  With his innate sense of honor, Rafe was clearly horrified by what he interpreted as an act of disloyalty toward the brother he didn’t even remember. Kit couldn’t bear to see him suffering like this; she had to fight the urge to draw his head to her chest to comfort him. The need to hold him close brought a moan to her throat.

  “I have no explanation. The French have a phrase for it, though. They call it a coup de foudre. A bolt of lightning. Love at first sight. That’s what happened to us. When you took me back to the base after that night in Tangiers, you told me you were going to break the news to Jaime. He deserved to know the truth, you said. I agreed, but begged you to let me tell him in my own time. I owed him that much.”

  “But something tells me you didn’t.”

  “No. Before I had an opportunity, you told your mother about us. She called me a few days later and arranged to meet me for lunch at a restaurant in Jerez. During the meal she implored me to leave the country and never come back. She said that the news of our relationship would destroy Jaime. But if I went away, Jaime would still be able to hold up his head. As for you, she said there was a lovely woman in Seville named Luisa Rios who expected to become your wife. She came from a fine family…” Kit swallowed painfully. “Your mother intimated that you would soon get over me.”

  A strange sound came from Rafe. “Is my brother that unstable?” he demanded.

  Kit took her time answering. “I honestly don’t know. He’s lived in your shadow his whole life. Neither your mother nor I wanted to find out what would happen. So I resigned my job at the base and left for the States without telling anyone where I was going.”

  Rafe glared at her for endless minutes. “You ran away from me.”

  “I had to. There’d been enough heartache in your home. I didn’t want to be the cause of any more.”

  “Then you couldn’t have loved me as much as you claimed. Certainly not with the depth that I must have loved you—since it seems I was willing to risk everything, even the anger of my mother and the hatred of my brother. Yet you disappeared. You obviously weren’t concerned about what I might have been feeling. According to Dr. Penman, I searched two months before I found you.”

  “I was concerned. I was devastated and I—”

  With cool disdain he interrupted her. “What made you relent and decide to return to Spain with me?”

  “You probably won’t believe me. But after two months of not hearing from you or being with you, I couldn’t bear the separation and decided that sacrificing our happiness on the strength of what Jaime might or might not do no longer made sense. I was on the verge of calling the hacienda to beg you to come to Idaho when you arrived at the motel.”

  His smile was wintry. “You’re right. I don’t believe you.”

  “Then why do you suppose I married you?”

  “I don’t know, do I? Perhaps to comfort a man who might or might not make it through surgery? If I’m to believe everything you’ve told me, your reputation for self-sacrifice precedes you.” His voice sounded tired; Kit was afraid their conversation had worn him out.

  “I think I’ll go and get some dinner. Would you like me to come back or would you prefer to be alone?” She struggled to keep her voice calm and pleasant.

  “It makes no difference one way or the other.”

  “Then I’ll say good-night and wish you a good sleep.” She opened her handbag to pull out a pen and paper, then wrote down the name and phone number of her motel. Putting the note on his bedside table, she said, “I’m leaving this in case you need to get in touch with me.” She tried not to let him know how much his comment had hurt her.

  Kit said nothing further as she left. And only with the greatest control did she prevent herself from turning around and flinging herself into his arms.

  Back in her motel room, she called Diego, who was overjoyed to learn he now had permission to visit his friend and employer. She assured him Rafe was in excellent condition and would probably enjoy his company.

  Kit decided to stay away until midafternoon of the following day to give the two men plenty of time to become reacquainted. She received something of a shock when she got off the elevator and noticed Rafe, dressed in casual pants and black shirt, walking down the hall toward his room. No one watching him would ever have guessed he was a patient. His tall, powerful, body, his confident bearing and long, graceful strides made her ache with intense and sudden need. Her palms moistened just looking at him.

  She’d gone to a great deal of trouble to make herself as presentable as possible. She wore a tailored khaki suit with a white silk blouse and brown leather heels. Around her blond curls she’d tied a paisley ribbon in shades of yellow and brown, and she’d applied a coral frost lipstick for accent.

  He might not remember her, but she was counting on one thing—that underneath he was the same man he’d always been. The man who’d fallen instantly in love with her, the way she had with him.

  When she entered his room, she found him standing next to his bed with the receiver of the wall phone in his hand. The second he saw her, his features hardened and he put it back, sending her spirits plunging.

  “How kind of my wife to drop by.” His tone was heavily sarcastic.

  She was about to remind him of his parting words the night before, but changed her mind because she didn’t want to initiate any more conflict. “I saw you walking in the hall a moment ago. You must be feeling much better.”

  His dark eyes narrowed. “You could have no conception of how I’m feeling. If you’d been here earlier when both doctors made their visit, you would have learned that I’m being released in the morning. That is what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “Th-That’s wonderful, Rafe,” she stammered. She hadn’t expected to hear this for another few days. “How long did they say it will be before you can return to Spain?”

  “I intend to leave tomorrow. I’ve already discussed the details with Diego, who by now will have informed my mother.”

  Kit was aghast. All the arrangements had been made without her knowledge. Rafe had automatically turned to Diego rather than her for help. This latest revelation came as another crushing blow and raised new questions in her mind.

  “Does Dr. Penman know about this?” she asked in alarm.

  “Of course.”

  He sounded so condescending that she grew upset. “But it’s only been a week since your surgery. I assumed you’d have to stay at the motel for a while. I don’t want you to risk—”

  “Then you assumed wrong,” he broke in coldly. “If I’m to recover my memory, which may or may not happen, then staying in a place alien to everything in my past will only frustrate me further.”

  “Surely a few more days—”

  “What’s wrong?” he drawled, flashing her a calculating glance. “Afraid I’m going to find out you’ve been feeding me lies all this time? Is that why the color has drained out of that beautiful, innocent-looking face?”

  Ignoring the compliment, which sounded more like an insult, she retorted, “If you’ve ha
d the chance to talk to Diego, then you know I’ve been telling the truth.”

  “Do I?” he murmured in a nasty tone. “It seems you and Diego share a great deal more than one would expect of a mere employee and my wife.”

  “For heaven’s sake, Rafe! Diego’s your friend! He’d do anything for you. He’s the man who helped you look for me for the past two months. He’s been here day and night waiting to see if you’d be all right.”

  She didn’t like the dangerous glint in his eye. “I find it interesting that he never stopped talking about you the entire time we were together. The man is enamored of you.”

  “You’re wrong! Diego has a wife and two children he absolutely adores.”

  “Since when does that stop a man from wanting the woman he desires?” His gaze roamed freely, intimately, over the lines and curves of her body. In that instant, he reminded her of the Rafe she’d known before the accident. Except that such a look had always been accompanied by love….

  Kit hadn’t realized how close they were standing to each other until he lifted his hand and traced the soft curve of her lips with his thumb. With that touch he created a burning need inside her. She longed to taste and feel his mouth on hers again.

  Some of her lipstick adhered to the skin of his thumb. He rubbed it against his other fingers, almost as if he were savoring a memory. “It’s understandable that my brother isn’t the only one to be entranced by your charms.” He paused. “You are desirable, mi esposa. That much I can see for myself. Perhaps I’ll berate myself later for returning to Spain alone.”

  “Alone?” she gasped.

  His mouth curled in a derisive smile. “That’s right. Before I come to a decision about continuing with this marriage, I’m going back home, to make a few observations for myself. I trust you, too, need time to reflect on what has happened. I assume you’ll be able to get your motel job back or find a teaching position. Naturally, I will deposit enough money in your bank account that you need have no fears in that regard.”

  Kit’s body went rigid with anger. “Whether you like it or not, you’re my husband now, Rafe. I married you because I’m in love with you,” she said, despising the slight quaver in her voice. “And you are—were—” she caught herself “—in love with me. In fact, your doctors will testify that you insisted on marrying me before you underwent surgery rather than wait until we could return to Spain. So if you leave me, I’ll just have to use some of your money to follow you to Jerez. It would be simpler if we went together.”

  After an ominous silence, he grasped her shoulders, his eyes blazing like a fire out of control. “If you insist on coming with me, amorada—” he almost sneered the endearment “—then you must be prepared to take the consequences. If I find you have not been scrupulously honest with me, then you will be in trouble up to your lovely neck.”

  As he spoke, his hands slid up to encircle her neck, caressing the tender hollow of her throat where she could feel her throbbing pulse under his fingertips. He leaned closer and she thought he meant to kiss her until he said, “Be ready to leave by nine in the morning.”

  Then he released her and turned away.

  Chapter Six

  KIT SAT APART from Rafe in the back of the limousine, watching him out of the corner of her eye, hoping to see a reaction of some kind. For the past ten minutes they’d been driving on Mendez property. Not a touch or a word passed between them.

  Luis, the silver-haired retainer Rafe had introduced to Kit as a trusted friend when he’d taken her to the hacienda that one and only time, had met them at the airport outside Jerez. He’d grasped both Rafe’s hands in his happiness to welcome him back home, hugging his patrón with genuine warmth.

  Rafe could have no idea of the love and esteem in which he was held by everyone. So it must have been painful for Luis and Diego when Rafe only tolerated the older man’s spontaneous embrace and muttered a coolly polite thanks to his pilot before helping Kit into the car.

  Her heart ached for her husband, whose face was creased with lines of anxiety and fatigue. She wanted to reach across the short distance separating them, to assure him he had nothing to fear from her or his family. But Rafe’s fierce pride wouldn’t let him accept help from anyone. He hadn’t wanted her along in the first place and Kit sensed that he would have repulsed any overtures she might have attempted. So she made no move toward him.

  In her opinion, they should never have flown here on the same day he’d been released from the hospital. But when Kit met with Dr. Penman for a final consultation and voiced her fears, he’d assured her that Rafe was fit enough to travel as long as he rested frequently.

  The Mendez jet had a bedroom, and though Rafe spent most of his time there, she doubted he’d been able to sleep throughout the exhausting flight, even with the light sedative the doctor had prescribed.

  If there’d been no accident, no injury, she and Rafe would have been in that bed together, lavishing their love on each other. Instead, she’d spent the trip sitting alone in the body of the plane unable to concentrate on any of the books or magazines she’d brought with her.

  Diego hadn’t asked her to join him in the cockpit to help pass the time. In any case, she wouldn’t have accepted his invitation since she didn’t dare risk adding to her husband’s suspicion that she was on more than friendly terms with his pilot. Perhaps Diego, too, sensed Rafe’s paranoia and wisely refrained from doing anything that could be misconstrued.

  One glance at Rafe’s taut mouth told her that being on Spanish soil meant nothing to him. Kit truly couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose her memory. She wondered what he was thinking about as his black eyes scanned the terrain that had once been so familiar to him.

  Thousands of healthy grapevines stood in neatly planted rows, stretching from one end of the horizon to the other. A warm late-April breeze made the vines sway and undulate like a bed of sea grass. It was a sight Rafe had once told her he never tired of watching. Now, he barely seemed to notice.

  As the car pulled through the gates leading to the estate buildings, the sun, a golden ball that lit up the Andalusian sky, began to slip out of sight. Evening had come upon them, and soon she’d be alone with her husband for the first time since their wedding.

  Excitement and trepidation warred inside her. Afraid that her eyes would betray the intensity of her feelings, she avoided looking at Rafe. Right now, she couldn’t tolerate his biting sarcasm, not when she loved him so much. She focused her attention first on the world-famous sherry bodegas ahead, then on the bell tower atop the family chapel, which came into view. In the distance she caught sight of the magnificent hacienda, parts of which dated back to the 1700s. This house and much of the property had always belonged to the Mendez family.

  The one time Rafe had brought her here, Kit had been instantly charmed by its wrought-iron balconies and pottery roof tiles. Flowers of every hue and description clung to the walls and railings, lending the place an air of enchantment in the dusky twilight.

  A fountain played in the tree-lined courtyard. Luis drove around it and drew up to the front entrance. Before he’d brought the car to a full stop, a slender, aristocratic-looking older woman, her black hair pulled severely back from her face, stepped out from the heavy doors and hurried toward them.

  Kit noticed that Rafe’s attention fastened on the woman. She’d been a great beauty in her day and was still striking. She wore a sophisticated royal blue suit and a long rope of pearls with verve and style.

  Jaime, and to a lesser extent Rafe, resembled her in features as well as coloring. But after studying the oil painting of Don Fernando she’d seen hanging in the foyer of the hacienda, Kit could tell that Rafe had inherited his father’s height and authoritative bearing.

  “That’s your mother, Rafe,” Kit whispered.

  “I may have lost my memory, but I’m not blind,” he muttered beneath his breath. For an instant Kit wondered if she had imagined a teasing quality in his voice, reminiscent of the Rafe before the a
ccident.

  Gabriella Mendez rushed toward Rafe’s side of the car and opened the door. Kit had it in her heart to feel sorry for the older woman. Although Diego had explained everything about Rafe’s amnesia to her, Kit knew Dona Gabriella wouldn’t really believe it until she’d talked to her son face to face.

  “Rafael, Rafael, mi hijo!” she cried as Rafe climbed from the back seat to meet her. Kit could hear a mother’s joy and longing in her voice as she flung her arms around her son and clutched him to her.

  Again Kit noted the way Rafe merely tolerated the attention showered on him. She realized how painful this moment had to be for his mother—and for him.

  Kit couldn’t help but be moved by the older woman’s display of affection and felt tears start to her eyes. Gabriella’s love for her sons had never been in question. Rafe and his mother communicated in Spanish, with her doing most of the talking. Kit could only follow bits and pieces of their conversation.

  Needing to release the nervous tension, which had been building since their arrival, Kit jumped from the car and went around to the trunk to help Luis with the luggage. To her surprise, Rafe broke away from his mother and interposed himself between Kit and the older man. His movement prevented her from reaching for her case. Dona Gabriella looked on with dark, accusing eyes.

  “Leave that for Luis,” he said coolly. “My mother is ready to show you to your apartment.”

  Kit had been anticipating this moment, and her eyes closed involuntarily. Rafe had allowed her to come to Spain with him, but he had no intention of letting her get close to him. However—despite what he and his mother might have wished—Kit wasn’t about to be separated from her husband. Not after everything they’d been through.

  In a low voice that would make it difficult for either Luis or Dona Gabriella to follow her English, Kit said, “Don’t you mean our apartment? I’m your wife, not a house guest. I’ll sleep where you sleep.”