For Better, For Worse

by Rebecca Winters

  Then the parade finally began, and for the next hour Kit smiled and waved to the thousands of faces lining the streets. Her eyes never left her husband, who rode beside Jaime. At every turn in the road, the sight of the beloved Mendez brothers produced loud cheering and applause from the exuberant crowd.

  Several times throughout the parade, Jaime rode back to the carriage to talk to Kit and his mother, keeping pace with them. Only once did Rafe follow suit, but he flanked his mother’s side of the carriage. Kit looked away and waved to the crowds on her side, unwilling to let him know how his lack of attention pained her.

  But she couldn’t blot him out altogether. At one point she felt his gaze travel over her face, somehow compelling her to turn to him. When she did, she surprised the strangest expression in his eyes. He stared at her as if he’d never seen her before, almost as if he couldn’t believe what was in front of him.

  It all happened within a few seconds, and before she knew it, he had urged his horse forward and joined Jaime again. But it left Kit feeling alone and isolated, and more heartsick than ever. She realized with new and shattering clarity that she would probably always be a stranger to him.

  By the time the parade was over, and the music and street dancing began, Kit had lost sight of Rafe. He seemed to have disappeared among the throng. She imagined that now he had done his duty by the family, he’d gone back home to pack. Considering his state of mind, she wouldn’t have been surprised if he left the hacienda without saying goodbye to any of them.

  Dona Gabriella excused herself and asked Luis to drive her home at once. Kit wanted to go with her but refrained from saying anything in case Rafe’s mother wanted to be alone with her son once more before he left.

  Kit knew Jaime was equally worried about Rafe, but he had an obligation to fulfill here at the fair. He insisted Kit dance with him, and she agreed, proud of him for the way he was handling things, for the way he’d taken charge.

  After a short while, Diego appeared on the scene and claimed a dance with Kit, while Jaime twirled Maria in his arms.

  “May I say you look beautiful this afternoon, señora? The patrón is a fortunate man.”

  “I wish he felt the same way, Diego.” Kit couldn’t prevent herself from admitting the truth to someone she trusted. “Since you’re going to find out, anyway, I might as well tell you—”

  “If you don’t mind, Diego, I need to talk to my wife,” a deep familiar voice broke in. “Privately.”

  Kit gasped in surprise and spun around, unable to credit that Rafe was here instead of halfway to the hacienda. His stern expression sent a chill of foreboding through her body. Diego, as well, seemed to sense that something was wrong and simply nodded to his patrón without a smile or a word.

  While Jaime danced with Maria somewhere in the crowd, Rafe put his arm around Kit’s waist; holding her tightly against him, he ushered her to a back street where his Mercedes stood parked. With formal politeness, he helped her inside, then went around to the driver’s side.

  “You’re leaving Jerez, aren’t you?” she asked in a tremulous voice, feeling as if she’d come to the end of her life. She’d promised herself not to make a scene when the time came, but faced with the hard reality that her marriage was over, she found it impossible to act on her good intentions. She was on the brink of losing complete control. “Once you’d performed your duties, why didn’t you just go and let me enjoy the rest of the festival?”

  The brim of the hat hid his eyes from her gaze. “Because there are a few matters we need to discuss before anyone goes anywhere and I don’t want an audience,” he replied in a low, determined voice. He started the engine, pulling out into the stream of traffic moving away from the city center.

  “You might as well know now that I’m planning to stay at the hacienda and get my old job back at the base in Rota. Your mother and I have become good friends. It’s her wish—and Jaime’s—that I remain and th-that’s the decision I’ve made.”

  Taking a shallow breath, she rushed on. “I am your wife, Rafe, and I intend to stay married to you. The Church disapproves of divorce, but if you want to be free that badly, if you want to marry Luisa Rios, then you’ll have to be the one to file. As I understand it, divorce proceedings take much longer in your country, so you could have a lengthy wait.”

  “I don’t know where you got the impression I would want to marry Luisa Rios,” came his mocking reply. “Not when you yourself pointed out to me I could have done so at a much earlier date.” Away from the parade route the traffic had thinned and they headed in the direction of the Mendez estate.

  Almost suffocating from jealousy and heartache she cried out, “Is she going away with you? Is that what kept you at her side through most of the parade—announcing to all of Jerez that you preferred her company to your own wife’s?”

  The car’s speed increased. “As I recall, my own wife refused to sleep in my bed. That is part of the marriage vow, mi esposa.”

  “And you know why I refused!”

  “Are you saying you are now prepared to fulfill your marital obligations?”

  Her body trembled. “That’s a moot point considering you’re going away.”

  “And if I weren’t?”

  “It’s still irrelevant because if you slept with me, I would know it wasn’t motivated by love. When you grew tired of me, you’d turn to Luisa and who knows how many other women.”

  He made no answer and for several miles they traveled in silence. When the car finally passed through the gates of the estate, he spoke again. “And if I promised to remain true to you, what then?” he asked in a curiously offhand voice.

  “Just how long do you think you’d be able to keep your word?”

  “Perhaps longer than you think.”

  “You’re only saying that to spare my feelings.” Tears stung her eyes; she blinked hard to keep them from falling, but they slid down her cheeks nonetheless. “Let’s face it, Rafe. You’ve been trapped since you woke up in a strange hospital room. Your own home was equally unfamiliar, and your friends and family were all strangers. And…you were married to a woman you couldn’t even remember. I wouldn’t wish that experience on my worst enemy.”

  She wiped the tears from her cheeks and opened the door on her side of the car. “I—I didn’t mean what I said about staying on here. That was my anger talking. Dr. Penman warned me about it. The accident that caused your memory loss changed both our lives, only I haven’t wanted to admit it until now.” She looked away from him. “I’ll leave Spain as soon as you have the divorce papers drawn up for me to sign. Tomorrow, if you like.”

  By some miracle she didn’t trip on the ruffles of her yellow gown as she dashed from the car to the entry of the hacienda. Without looking back she flew up the stairs to the guest bedroom she’d been using since that night he’d wanted to make love to her.

  She should have let him. Then at least she’d have had one memory of shared intimacy to sustain her through the empty years ahead.

  Quickly, before she could give in to the urge to collapse sobbing on the bed, she got out of the fancy dress and slipped off the black high heels. Her only thought now was to change into clothes suitable for walking. She planned to escape as far from the hacienda as possible.

  She was just pulling off her slip when she heard the door open and close. She glanced up, then let out a little cry as her husband came into the room, wearing the paisley robe instead of his festival clothes.

  She gazed into his black eyes, no longer hidden by the hat, and saw that they smoldered with a fire she hadn’t seen since before the accident. A rush of desire for him engulfed her, but she remained where she was, unmoving.

  “Rafe—” She brought one hand to her throat. “I—I don’t know what you think you’re doing in here, but you’d better go.”

  He kept on advancing. “I’m doing what I should have done as soon as I’d recovered from the operation. I’m going to make love to you.”

  She retreated from him
and ended up with her back to the dresser. “Th-This won’t solve anything,” she cried in panic as his hands ran sensuously up and down her arms. When he drew her against him, the feel of his body seemed to break her last tenuous link to rational thought. She’d needed him for too long to fight him any longer, and her body soaked up his touch like parched ground drinking in the rain.

  He was behaving very much like the Rafe she remembered from before the accident; it confused her and set her heart tripping over and over itself. “Has something happened?” She half moaned the question because he was kissing the side of her neck and throat, making it impossible for her to remain coherent. “Y-You seem different.”

  “Por Dios, Kit!” He said her name with all the love and longing she’d missed over these painful weeks. “When I looked into the carriage a while ago and saw your golden hair capturing the light, I wanted to carry you off like the conquistadores of old. I wondered how I would be able to wait until I got you home alone.”

  “Rafe—”

  Her hands stilled against his chest and her gaze flew to his. She stared into the depths of his eyes long and hard, and what she saw made her tremble. The look of recognition, of passionate desire and intense love, was there again.

  “Your memory—” she whispered in awe, “it’s come back.”

  For a moment she feared she might be dreaming, that none of this was real.

  “Rafe—it’s come back!” she shouted for joy and threw her arms around his neck. With an exultant cry he picked her up in his arms and crushed her against his heart, burying his face in her hair.

  Her cries turned to heartrending sobs and for a long time they simply clung to each other while Kit tried to absorb the miracle.

  “Amorada,” he whispered feverishly, covering her face with hungry kisses before claiming her mouth. When they finally gazed into each other’s eyes again, she saw that his were as wet and shining as her own. She ran her fingers through his black curls. “When did it come back, darling?”

  “During the parade,” he murmured. “While I was riding beside Mother, it came to me that I had done this many times before. The sounds, the smells, the horses, Jaime, everything—it was suddenly all familiar. I experienced instant recall, exactly the way Dr. Noyes said it would happen. And then I saw you.” His voice grew husky and he pressed a hard kiss to her mouth, a kiss that spoke of his deep need and his suffering.

  Kit responded fervently, recalling the moment. He’d stared at her as if he’d never seen her before, but at the time she hadn’t understood.

  “I felt a surge of intense emotion because I knew I didn’t have to look for you anymore. You were right there at my side, the way I’d dreamed from the moment I first met you. It was like coming home after a long, arduous journey. The feeling was indescribable.” He gave a deep, shuddering sigh. “I love you, Kit,” he whispered with tears in his voice. “I adored you even when I couldn’t remember. But I was afraid to tell you, afraid I might lose you if my memory never came back and I couldn’t be the same man you’d fallen in love with.”

  “But Rafe,” she cried softly, molding her hands to his face, tracing every feature. “Don’t you know your memory loss didn’t change you? Not in the ways that matter. You were and always will be the same man I lost my heart to. If anything—” her breath caught and she swallowed a little sob “—I was terrified of smothering you with my love.”

  “Smothering me? You mean like this?” He clasped her even more tightly than before and rolled her over so she was lying on top of him, leaving her in no doubt that he wanted her very badly. “When you left my bed, Señora Mendez, I almost came after you and did something you would have found unforgivable.”

  “I want to forget the past, all of it,” she said softly, arching against him. “I want to start living our future. I’m your wife, Rafe. For better, for worse, you’ll never be free of me.”

  “Kit—” Her name seemed to pour from his soul and in the next breath their mouths and bodies fused in hunger. For a time nothing mattered but the need to love and be loved. “I feel like I’ve been reborn,” he whispered.

  “So do I,” Kit moaned her euphoria. “But Rafe—” She kissed his throat and jaw, not able to get enough of him. “Jaime and your mother need to be told right away. By now, they’re probably beside themselves with grief, thinking you’re going to leave the estate for good.”

  Rafe chuckled deep in his throat, sending delicious chills through her body. “My adorable esposa, if you had seen my mother’s expression as I raced up the stairs after you like the lovesick man that I am, you would know she’s beside herself not with grief but with happiness. I can guarantee that at this moment she’s busy planning our wedding ceremony.”

  Suddenly a look of pleading entered his black eyes. “You don’t mind saying our vows again, do you? I scarcely remember anything before the anesthetic set in.”

  He’d just expressed the desire of her heart, and she murmured her assent against his mouth, which he kissed with an aching tenderness. After another timeless moment, he lifted his dark head and his expression grew solemn. “You’ve already proven that you take your vows seriously, otherwise we would never have made it through the ‘for worse’ part of our marriage. No husband ever had greater testimony of his wife’s devotion and loyalty.” He brushed his lips against her eyes and nose and mouth, seemingly insatiable. “Now I want to repeat those vows and show you the ‘for better’ part, for the rest of our lives. We’ve only just started to live, amorada.”

  All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.

  All Rights Reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises II B.V./S.à.r.l. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

  This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the prior consent of the publisher in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

  ® and ™ are trademarks owned and used by the trademark owner and/or its licensee. Trademarks marked with ® are registered with the United Kingdom Patent Office and/or the Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market and in other countries.

  First published in Great Britain 2008

  by Harlequin Mills & Boon Limited,

  Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR

  © Rebecca Winters 1993

  ISBN: 9781408904220

  Table of Contents

  Cover

  About the Author

  Title Page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Copyright