by Suze Reese
I should have been thrilled with my victory. It was unthinkable, what I’d gotten away with. But I was too out of sorts and consumed with worry to feel much in the way of cheer. Or to sleep.
For one thing, I doubted if I’d be capable of traveling to a beach by Monday. And I wasn’t sure if I even should. Jesse’s efforts to keep his distance from me were probably the best thing he could do for his own self preservation. But mostly, I was worried about the cause of these symptoms.
I told myself repeatedly that teenagers do not repattern. It was just a fact. Repatterning requires full maturity. Which does not happen before the mid twenties. I wouldn’t even reach the age of segregation for another three years.
But then, I reminded myself, teenagers don’t usually travel to Earth. Or fall in love.
The madhouse in my mind was relentless for the rest of the week. I decided to take that as good news since repatterning should only last a couple of days. By Friday—my fourth day of torment—there was still no sign of improvement. I was consumed by being with Jesse, even though my symptoms worsened when we were together.
On the ride home Friday afternoon I realized that this would be my last opportunity to tell Jesse about the beach on Monday. I still couldn’t imagine that I’d be capable of going. But as with each day of school, if there was an opportunity to be with him, I was bound by an unseen force to take it. Unfortunately, I was lucky to keep my head upright while this close to him. “So…” I whispered into the quiet car. “Have you made plans for Monday?”
“Monday?” he asked.
“Newport.”
“What about it?”
“My mom said I can go.”
Jesse didn’t answer. I had no skills at reading faces. The only thing I recognized with certainty by his expression was confusion. After spending a week with me acting like a deranged fool, I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to back out. I should be happy if he did. For his sake.
“What time?” he eventually asked.
I couldn’t tell if he was happy…hesitant…mortified. I despised this human way of doing things—of not knowing how the other is feeling. Still, I was relieved that he’d agreed. “Meet me at the bus stop on the corner at seven.”
“Bus? No. I’ll drive,” he said.
“Please don’t argue. And I need to bring Becca.”
“Mira…are you okay?” He reached for me.
I gripped my head, turning away. “I will be.”
Jesse pulled back. I could feel his piercing eyes studying me.
I rushed from the car, went directly to my room and flailed myself onto the bed. It had been days since I’d talked to Geery. Since I’d had lunch with my friends. Had real food. Sensed an emotion. Felt Jesse. I let tears soak the sheets beneath my head.
Sometime in the evening Mom stopped in the doorway. “Still not feeling well?”
“Just tired,” I mumbled. Mom hadn’t said anything about me not answering streams during the day. But I knew she must have tried to reach me at some point during the week. Even she wasn’t that negligent. I’d noticed that Mom had started getting home a little earlier than usual. We’d even watched a movie together, though I had hardly been able to see the screen. The edge of the bed shifted. Mom touched my hand. “Have you been watching your diet?”
“I was. But I blew it today. Had a big lunch.” It was a lie. I just hoped Mom really couldn’t sense my emotions. “I’ll be better. I’ve learned my lesson.” Mom seemed to accept the answer. At least I hoped she did.
For the next two days, which sadly did not involve school, I passed my time on a lounge chair in the back yard where I could best avoid Mom—who fortunately kept busy streaming with work. While the world flashed and fluctuated, I repeatedly threw out my stream as though it were a ball attached to a paddle with an elastic string. Just like that ball, it always came back.
The street lights were still on when I walked across the driveway to Becca’s house on Monday morning. The sun barely peeked over the roof of the house across the street. Becca waited on the front porch with her towel, jumping up and down with anticipation. She handed me a piece of paper with her brother’s cell phone number. I tucked it into my bag. I probably should have questioned why her parents weren’t there to send her off, but was just relieved that I didn’t have to see them.
“Aren’t you going to put it in your phone?” Becca asked.
“Later.” I took her hand and started down the street. I was lucky to be putting one foot in front of the other. Punching buttons was out of the question. We turned the corner, where Jesse leaned against his car, his arms folded, smiling.
I gasped. “You came.”
“Of course.”
I stepped close to him. The ground shifted. I reached for him to steady myself. A buzz sounded in my ears. Lights flashed. But I felt it. Ever so slightly. Love. He still loved me. I felt like a desert wanderer. Thirsty for more. I inhaled. And felt nothing. Maybe I’d just imagined it.
“Are you okay?” Jesse asked.
“Yes.” I smiled. “I’m just glad I didn’t scare you away. I haven’t been…myself lately.”
“I noticed. But I’ll do whatever you ask.” He smiled and reached out to touch my hand. “Even ride a bus.”
My knees buckled, but I felt it again. I inhaled. Stepped closer. The lights stopped flashing for the first time in days. The buzzing decreased. I maintained a connection—touching him lightly on the arm with my fingers—while we traveled to a place where Jesse could leave his car, waited on a bench, then boarded the bus.
I didn’t remove my hand until we were seated, with our knees and arms touching. The jarring bus tossed us together—causing my heart to repeatedly leap in my chest. And for my em-field to remarkably move into alignment—righting itself. The buzz in my head disappeared, replaced instead with the distinct sounds of a bus: wheels crunching over the road, Becca jabbering, even the soft sounds of a young boy’s headset. Sights were sharp and clear, the sun outside shone brilliantly. And as the bus neared the beach, the circle of Jesse’s love grew in intensity.
By the time the bus lurched to a stop I was close to tears. Tears of joy. I jumped to my feet, stooping low to see the gray water through the windows. The salt-crested air tickled my nostrils. Mixed with Jesse’s love, it was the most pleasant smell imaginable. I took Becca’s hand, adding the child’s enthusiasm to my sudden euphoria.
Jesse took Becca’s other hand when we got off the bus, and the three of us meandered across the hot pavement and onto the warm sand. We wove around sunbathers, empty bottles, ice chests, seagulls, and towels. We approached a clearing and I broke into a run, pulling Becca behind me. Her other hand broke free from Jesse’s grasp. Sand sprayed against my legs. I glanced back and grinned at the stunning human Earth male named Jesse Mecham. My heart leapt with happiness.
Beaches on Nreim are pristine and beautiful. And bordered with a ten-foot high invisible barrier. The occasional overlook is the closest any regular citizen could ever come to enjoying them. No overhead view could ever compare to gray water and blackened sand that could actually be touched.
Jesse dashed ahead. I pushed forward to catch up, but he dropped his towel at a bare patch of sand and we both drew to a stop. Without slowing, Becca dropped her towel next to Jesse’s and ran to the water. At that same moment, Jesse pulled off his shirt. I knew I should watch the child but couldn’t take my gaze off Jesse’s muscular chest. My vision had never been so sharp. And I’d never seen anything that made me feel anything like this…
“You coming in?” He grinned.
I blinked, embarrassed. “Uh…yeah.” I caught my breath and looked away. The feeling from him…the intensity of his love. Had it always been this strong? Had I forgotten?
I glanced at Becca—who was poking her toes in the sand at the shoreline—then turned around and tugged at my own shirt, preparing to pull it off, but acutely aware of his gaze on my back.
A man lying on a towel near us glanced up at me.
I tepidly stepped out of my clothes and swallowed before turning to face Jesse. I suspected my reaction to his chest was a little taste of the way human males feel all the time. Even Jesse shouldn’t be immune. But when I turned there was only a swell—as impossible as it seemed—of the outpouring of love I’d just felt.
If any of the Neanderthal males from school had been with us I probably couldn’t even breathe. I wanted to touch him, but resisted. Instead, I smiled up at him and broke into a run. “Beat ya there!” I called.
When frigid fingers of water found my toes at the edge of the shore, I stopped short, gasping. Jesse ran into me from behind. With his chest pressed against my back, he held a spray bottle in front of my face. “I assume our little red-headed friend needs some sunscreen,” he said.
“Mmm, I guess,” I murmured, suddenly a big fan of sunscreen, whatever that was. I held still with my cold toes sinking into the wet sand, afraid that if I breathed too deeply I might faint. At least it would be a pleasant fall…
In what seemed less than an instant he stepped away and called out to Becca. The tiny girl came bounding through the water. Jesse sprayed the white liquid on Becca while I cleared my head. I even remembered what sunscreen was. I’d seen the commercials, of course.
I waded tepidly at first, getting used to the chilly waves crashing into me, pushing on me. I relished the sunshine, the sounds of the gulls, the waves, children. And no buzzing. No flashing lights.
When the water became deep, Jesse held on to Becca with one arm and used his free arm to gently lift me over each swell of water. Every touch of Jesse’s skin on mine gave me a small thrill. Eventually I jumped by myself over a large wave. I righted myself in time to see Jesse swimming with Becca tucked under his arm. The two of them traveled with a wave towards the shore. I watched with alarm, until they stood laughing in the ankle deep water. Becca ran back towards me, the water splashing above her head. Jesse followed.
Just before they reached me I jumped with a swollen wave the way Jesse had. My body glided effortlessly through the center of the swell. I felt as sleek and swift as a magtrain in a flash tunnel. The fingers of water that had greeted me earlier now deposited me gently onto the shore. I sprang up and ran back through the water, my arms spread wide, surrounded by joyous sprays of water. I greeted Jesse with a hug, my bare skin tingling with his touch. Then caught another glorious wave. I’d never felt more alive.
I ignored Becca’s eventual requests for food. Why would anyone stop riding the waves just to fill your belly? But eventually Jesse strode through the water towards shore and I couldn’t resist following. I stayed close—enjoying the smell of roasting hotdogs, the feel of warm sand between my toes—while Jesse made a purchase. The three of us sat on our towels, looking out over the ocean, and listened to the symphony made by the crashing waves, beach-goers and seagulls. Juice from the hot dog burst in my mouth like small volts of electricity. I hadn’t eaten real food in days. The taste was even more concentrated and delectable than my first cheeseburger. Or even chocolate cake. It made me wonder what chocolate bars actually tasted like.
I doubted if it was the hot dog itself that tasted so extraordinary. Neither Jesse nor Becca seemed especially excited about theirs. More likely, my recent sharpening of senses included taste.
Repatterning at my age was impossible. I was absolutely sure of this fact.
Yet I couldn’t think of what else it could be. Most couples are together constantly during their repatterning. That I was only with Jesse a few minutes a day could explain the extended length of time.
I took a big bite of the hot dog, rolled it around my mouth, and shivered with the exquisite flavor. If this was the result of repatterning, then all adults on my world would taste the same thing when they ate a hot dog. If they were allowed one. They would be able to hear the magnificence of the ocean roar. Feel the warm sand between their toes. Glide through the water like a magtrain. But none of them ever would.
I was too happy to let the thought bring me down. Or to think badly of the people who had cost my planet so much. They probably thought they were saving the world. Sure, the invention of our amazing cubes had freed up valuable resources, cured world hunger, and abolished most disease and illness. My planet had never suffered the degree of violation this one had, with all the exploration for oil and other energy sources. Nreim had historically used electromagnetic energy as their major energy source.
Even so, the government was determined to keep everything in as pristine condition as possible. Which meant banning nafarians from touching anything of beauty—forests, canyons, even the oceans. Closing the beaches had supposedly saved the vast seas from irreparable pollution damage; thereby saving the planet. That was the claim anyway. But at what cost? Simply looking at the ocean through an overlook could never compare to this moment.
No one on my world would ever be able to have a day like today. And that was tragic.
Becca pulled on me while I was still savoring my hot dog. When Jesse jumped to his feet, I stuffed the last bite in my mouth and followed. This time Jesse rented boards to lie on while riding waves—which was even more fun than what Jesse had called body surfing. The sun had just begun its descent when we sloshed our way back to our towels, exhausted and laughing. I collapsed onto mine, breathing in the warm sun and salty air—more pleasant and distinct than anything I’d breathed before. Even the lingering memory of Jesse’s gentle touch felt different. As if another dimension had been added to my life.
Shielding my face from the glare of the sun, low on the horizon, I watched Jesse and Becca work on a castle of sand. Becca ran back and forth in her wet swimsuit: jumping over me, slopping water on me and giggling. Jesse worked intensely on the castle—sculpting and shaping it. He looked up from time to time and smiled his brilliant smile at me.
If I were struck dead at this very moment I wouldn’t be able to say I hadn’t lived a full life. I’d just lived the perfect day.
I watched Jesse laughing with Becca, then closed my eyes and wished he would come lie next to me. Within seconds I felt a sprinkle of sand across my legs, an increase in the warm sensation of his love’s aura, and then the gentle touch of Jesse’s hand on mine. I opened my eyes, surprised and delighted to see his face next to mine.
We stayed that way, staring into each other’s eyes, until Becca began poking at our feet with a feather. With a groan, Jesse pulled himself back up and chased her down the shore.
When they returned, Becca was wrapped in a long stream of seaweed. “You like it?” She swung her little hips and waved her arms. “Jesse helped me design it.”
Jesse plopped down next to me, and touched the small of my back. “You don’t even look like you’ve gotten any sun. I haven’t even seen you put sunscreen on.”
“Oh?” I rolled onto my back, as if that would keep him from seeing my skin. “I…it’s…just my complexion.”
He placed his sandy arm against mine, noting the contrast of his fair and reddened skin with my olive coloring. “You are amazing.” He sighed, then intently studied my face. “Beautiful.”
I looked away, embarrassed but thrilled by the word.
“Can you tell me something?” Jesse asked.
My stomach tumbled under the gaze of his intense azure eyes. “Sure.”
Jesse looked out over the water for a moment, then returned his gaze to me. “Why me?” He looked so shy and innocently baffled. As if he really didn’t know why.
I wished I knew how to fix his awkwardness. This system—not knowing what the other was feeling—was so…confusing. I couldn’t just tell him that I was madly in love with him too. We just met. This was our first date.
I knew enough about Earth to know that it just didn’t work that way. He might expect gratitude for saving me from
Everett, but not undying love. “What do you mean?” I finally asked.
“You could have your pick of guys. And…I…let’s just say there are a lot of better choices.”
“Don’t ever say that.” I studied his face, sensing his honest worry. “I picked you because of how I feel when I’m with you.” I hesitantly reached out and caressed his cheek with the back of my sandy finger.
He looked at me expectantly. “And how is that?”
“Let’s just say, I can feel it too.”
“Feel what?”
“What you feel. That connection. It’s the same for me.” Our eyes locked, and I had the crazy idea that if I opened my mind to him he would be able to hear me and respond.
But that really was impossible. Not with an Earth human. Even one who had fallen in love with me.
“Jesse,” I said, my voice cracking. “Do you feel…different…since we’ve met?”
He chuckled softly. “In every way.”
I struggled to think of a question that would clarify what I meant. That I wanted to know if we both were going through changes. I searched his eyes. But the answer wasn’t there.
If I could just send a stream. Or even read his mind.
“So!” Jesse’s voice was suddenly light.
“You haven’t asked about the Ferris wheel.”
“Hmm?”
“You do know what it is, right?” He grinned his dazzling grin. “The round thing. You ride in it.”
The solid hand of reality shook away the dream world I’d just found myself in. I lifted myself up on one elbow and slapped his chest affectionately. Then paused before pulling away to let the thrill travel from my fingers to my head. “I know what it is. I’ve just been waiting for you to offer.”
Jesse called out to Becca, motioning for her to join us. He rose to his knees, then took my hand and pulled me up. I had been on several carnival rides. Virtually. I tried not to gawk when we got to the carnival area. But couldn’t resist when we passed the painted horses of the merry-go-round.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never ridden on a merry-go-round,” Jesse said.