HURRICANE (Beasts of Prey Book 2)
Page 17
Letting out a long breath, I stop in front of Tiger, who's shooting daggers from his eyes over my head to Bear's back. His face is covered with blood, most of it coming from the cut on his left brow—I bet it's from Bear's right hook—but also his nose is bleeding all over his full lips, down to his chin, and all the way to his neck. The blood trail goes over the M of his tattoo, and for a moment, I stop to stare at the text.
Memento mori. Remember that you will die.
My hand comes instinctively to my neck, over the text there.
Memento vivere. Remember that you must live.
Lifting my eyes to Tiger's dark ones, I see him staring down at me. Dad's words echo in my head. Speak with him before someone gets really hurt.
Well, I think it's too late for that now. I lift my palm to his bloody cheek, caressing it carefully with my thumb.
"Puma, can you leave us, please?" I ask, keeping my eyes on Tiger's. His jaw tightens under my hand, the darkness within him still trying to leak out. With the alcohol in his system, I know he has a hard time keeping himself in order. I saw Bear's face, and usually, when things escalate like this, Tiger won't make him bleed. Things are getting out of hands.
"I'm sorry." Puma glances at me, distressed. "I should've kept my mouth shut."
"Yeah, you really should've. Just go, and apologize to Bear," I tell him, and with a sigh, he leaves, but I know there's no way in hell he will say shit to Bear. When he's gone far enough away, I tilt my head to the side, arching a brow. "What was that about, Tiger?"
"Puma fucked up, and Bear is an asshole," he shrugs one shoulder, not giving out anything what's going on inside of his head.
"True," I agree, studying him. The tension in his body refuses to leave, and Tiger looks like a ticking time bomb. Again, I know when to pick my battles. Right now, this is not one of them. No matter how much I'd like to roast him, I don't. I slide my hand into his, threading our fingers together. "C'mon, let's get you cleaned up, love."
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
The barricades in my mind are crumbling down. I can fucking feel it. It was a big mistake to down all those shots, thinking it would help loosen me up a bit so I could have a casual night. Yeah, it worked—until it fucking didn't.
We fucked it up in the most colossal way.
Bear shouldn't have invited Rose over without telling Leo about the baby first. Puma should've kept his fucking mouth shut. I shouldn't have lost control.
The disappointment and exhaustion on Cobra's face as she turned on the shower for me in my loft and told me to clean up drained the last bits of the wrath of my system. She didn't stay there with me. Instead, she told me she wasn't feeling very good and went to sleep, convincing me everything is fine and I don't have to worry about her. Just a headache, she said.
Cobra didn't mention if the cause of it was from me or the withdrawals.
After smoking almost a pack of cigarettes, delaying going to bed till the point of ridiculousness, I stand behind my bedroom door. I don't know how to face her. How to explain what the fuck snapped in me. How can I explain something I'm not even sure about myself?
All the stress and pressure I thought I had in control, tucked away in a nice package with all the other shit in my mind, exploded like fireworks on the Fourth of July. I wanted blood in my hands. And I made it happen, but in a fucking wrong place, wrong time, and to the wrong person. Motherfucker or not, but I should've controlled myself with Bear.
"I know you're there."
Cobra's voice comes through the door, almost making me flinch. Fuck. Sucking in a long breath, I open the door and step in. She sits on the bed, leaning her back to the headboard, knees pulled tightly against her chest. And the look on her face tells me she hasn't slept at all yet, so she knows I've been avoiding coming in here.
Great.
I walk to the bed and sit on the side, still only the towel on my hips. Obviously, because my wardrobe is here. Cobra has a weird effect on me, and truthfully, I don't like all of the things she makes me feel.
I hate to feel unsure.
She dips her chin, looking at me under her long lashes while hugging her legs against her chest. "What took you so long?"
I place my hands on the bed behind me, leaning back, and stare at the ceiling. "I thought you were sleeping." Well, I did, so it's not a lie.
"Tiger." Cobra's voice has an admonition written all over it. "Why were you avoiding me?"
Because I'm a fucking chickenshit? I scrub a hand over my face, trying to figure out how to start. The familiar anger tries to lure its way up, tell me to say fuck off, and then hit the road. Like I've done dozens of times when it comes to this. Opening up.
"Did I do something wrong?" her question is quiet, full of hesitation.
It breaks me. If I didn’t love her as much as I do, I'd cut her off, protect myself from the feelings she makes me feel. I can already see the images in my head—the pity on her face. Then the shock and the hatred. Truthfully, I'm not so sure she will even stay with me if I tell her everything.
"You haven't done anything wrong," I tell her, unable to look at her. My blood runs cold in my veins, and suddenly I hate the fact I'm wearing only the fucking towel. I jump up from the bed, heading to the wardrobe. Cobra doesn't say anything while I dress up, but I feel her eyes on me. Only after I've pulled on sweats and a black hoodie, flipping the hood over my head, I turn towards her, but I can't make myself look at her.
I. Just. Fucking. Can't.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I stare at the wall on the other side of the room. The king-size bed she's on is in between, and from the corner of my eye, I see her chewing her lower lip while glancing in my direction with a worried gaze, but then she drops it to the bed.
The silence lingers longer between us, but I can't make myself say anything. My mouth feels like fucking sandpaper, and I squeeze my fists tighter, feeling the sting in my left palm, the cut on my hand opening again.
My mind tries to tell me things which aren't true.
I'm not that boy anymore, I'm not Anthony anymore. But no matter how hard I chant it to myself, I know if I fucking open my mouth now...
No.
I'm not going to fucking stutter. Ever again. I'm not that boy anymore.
"I asked Levi to fuck me."
Cobra's words make my heart screech to a halt, and I spin my eyes to her. What the fuck did she just say? Before I can get myself to make a sound, she continues, fiddling the sheets in her hands.
"The day I got out. Joe had to be somewhere else, so he didn't take me with him to the basement like every other day. He was the one who made all the... marks on me while Silas watched. They tried to get information out of me, and well... Silas just enjoyed seeing me bleed." She clears her throat, brows furrowed into a tight line. "So, Levi was happy we could spend the whole day together. He went to get me breakfast from the bakery and fed me like he always did, ‘cause Silas had ordered I had to be cuffed at all times. The only time when my legs were free was when he let me use the bathroom, but still, I had cuffs on my hands, and a gun pointed to my head so I couldn’t escape."
I listen to her, rage storming inside me, not directed at her, but to those motherfuckers who hurt her. I want to kill them all. Make them all bleed because of what they did to her.
Cobra bites her cheek, agitation leaking out of her in waves, but still, she won't stop talking. "Every night after Joe was done with me, Levi came to get me, and every time, he drugged me before releasing me from the wall. I wanted to kill him, but my body didn't work, and he just..." Her eyes flutter close, and she inhales deeply through her nose, gathering herself up. "I remember only glimpses. The nights were a hazy blur, but I can still hear his whispers about how he told me he loves me. His touches were gentle and caressing, like I was the most precious thing in the world to him. I know he bathed me every time after he had fucked me while I was nearly unconscious, ‘cause in the morning I smelled like vanilla. The same fucking shower gel I have in my loft."
"Baby—"
Cobra cuts me off by lifting her index finger in the air, not looking at me. "Let me finish," she says in a steady voice, but the tone of it tells me how on edge she really is. How hard this is for her. "Levi was obsessed with me. Silas had made him like that by taking him in when he was fourteen, and since then, he'd been feeding Levi's brain with me. He'd been watching me for nine years." Her eyes come to meet mine, but I can't read the expression in them. "Silas had been mind-fucking him for nine years, Tiger. He was just a child."
Now I can read her. The tears falling down her cheeks is like a fucking knife to my heart. I can't believe this. "You're sorry for him? Jeez, baby—"
"He was just a little boy!" Cobra's sob echoes in the bedroom, and she tears her hands through her hair, rocking herself on the bed. "Silas ruined him, made him obsessed with me. His entire life was destroyed because of me."
I close the distance between the bed and me, between us, and pull her against my chest. The blanket is jamming between us, and I almost rip the fucking sheets to get her properly into my lap. Her hands cling to my sides, squeezing her tightly to me. "Cobra, it wasn't your fault." I sink my fingers to her hair, my fucking heart tearing in half for her. "It was Silas's, not yours. You didn't break him, baby."
"I killed him," she cries to my chest, body trembling in my arms. "I begged him to fuck me, and I tricked him into releasing me, and he was so fucking happy." Her fingers dig into my skin on my sides hard enough to draw blood as she breaks apart. "Levi was," she sways harder with every word, shaking uncontrollably, "so happy when I lied to him. I told him I'd learn to love him too. And I fucking killed him. He was just a brainwashed boy. And I. Killed. Him."
The pureness of her heart kills me. I don't know how she can see things like that. Feel like that. It's above my understanding, but I hold her anyway. "You did what you had to do, baby. It wasn't your fault. He still raped you, multiple times. Don't fucking forget it."
"I know, and I hate him for doing it to me. For letting all those things happen to me, what Joe did and..." she sobs, wiping her nose. "I still can't get it out of my head. I fucking hate him, but he'd been just a boy, Tiger. Just a child."
"I dunno if I have ever said this to you, but your heart is one of a kind, baby. You're a fucking diamond in a world of filthy rocks." I kiss the top of her head, rubbing her back. "And it's one of the reasons I love you so, so much. Even though I also hate it, ‘cause it makes me want to smack you to your senses. Levi might have been brainwashed, but it doesn't mean he didn't know the consequences of his actions."
"You could," Cobra says, taking a deep, shuddering breath.
I close my eyes, knowing what she means. But she also knows very well, I'd never fucking ever do anything like that outside of the gym. I've hurt her in so many ways, mostly because she's asked me to, but even I have some limits. I'm coloring way out of the lines in many things, but there are a couple of crayons I don't use. Never.
Besides...
"Baby, I think we need to process some things, and this thing of yours is one of them."
She cocks her head back, looking up at me with a question in her beautiful Bambi eyes. A sinful smirk spreads to my face because I know what she's thinking. "Don't worry, baby girl, I can still make you feel pretty fucking good."
"I count on that and p.s. I love you too," she retorts, her eyes getting back the happier glow I saw earlier today.
I bite my lip, knowing we're not near done with this conversation, even I wouldn't mind we'd be. And what I'm about to say will wipe the smile off, but trying to be optimistic, I hope it won't be gone forever for me to see. Her reaction to that piece-of-shit makes me a little bit more confident she might even stay with me.
"You know, baby," I start, finding words. My stomach hurts, and my muscles go rigid, but I need to get this over with. "You once asked, is Amelia dead?"
A dazed expression spreads to her face like she didn't expect me to bring this up. "Um, yeah?"
"She is," I tell her, "and I'm the one who killed her."
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
I'm sure I didn't hear him right. He probably misplaced his words. I couldn't hear him right.
"Come again?"
Tiger's wicked eyes are severe as ever, but the way he bites his cheek tells me he doesn't want to repeat what he just said. It means…
"Oh." That's the only thing what comes from my mouth. I try again to find something to say. "Oh." Yeah, well, what can I even say to that?
Tiger killed his twin sister.
He sighs, or more like grunts. "I should've probably started with something else."
I nod, blood running cold in my system. I don't even know what to feel because I feel… paralyzed in his arms. He killed his own sister. My grip from his sides loosens, and I gape up at him, not knowing what to do.
"What happened?" My voice comes out in a breathy squeak.
Tiger's face is like a stone mask, and I feel he's holding his breath. I don't push, even though he falls silent for a moment. I know better. He is fighting the instinct to run and not letting me in. I remember the time at the cafeteria when I was rude, not on purpose, and he got furious at me.
You've already got me on my knees but don't you fucking dare to kick me when I'm down.
I remember everything I read about the car crash and what he told me about the men responsible for his scars. I remember what Silas said about his past.
So, I wait.
"Our mother had cheated on her husband," he finally says, voice rough as always, but I hear the pain in it. Tiger's eyes go to my hair, and he starts to fiddle the pink strands in his hand, keeping me close to him with another arm. "She got pregnant and let her husband believe we were his. I'm not blaming her for her choices, but… like you said, there are always consequences." He takes a break, breathing in and out through his nose. I wait as a bad feeling curls in my gut. Now I know why he had such an edgy opinion about Bear's baby and the abortion. "Hernandez was an evil man from the beginning, and their relationship wasn't… well, mom ended up in the hospital three times before the last time."
Tiger buries his face to my hair, his chest pressing against me as he inhales my scent. That's what he has always done, calmed himself by breathing me in. I know because I do the same with him. I wrap my hands tighter around him again, letting him know I'm not running, and he shouldn't either.
"The car crash wasn't an accident, wasn't it?" I ask, encouraging him to go on.
He leans back, looking down at me, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. And I know my mistake. "How do you know about it?"
My heart rate skyrockets. "I… I did a little research. I'm sorry, I wasn't—"
"Why? I made myself pretty clear. I didn't want you to know about those things." The familiar taste of poison is dripping from his voice, and the darkness in his eyes tells me I just might have fucked this up. "Why the fuck were you digging behind my back?"
"I just… I wanted to understand you better."
"Well, do you? What was it, a police report? How did it make you understand me better, baby?" he scorns, building those barriers back up all over again.
"Tiger, please, don't jump the gun, okay? I didn't do it to harm you. It was when I was at Levi's—or Luke's, whatever—place, and I needed to solve us out. I missed you, hated you, and loved you at the same time, so I needed something to focus on. I'd been an open book to you, but you kept me at arm's length away," I tell him truthfully. "I needed to know what I was getting myself into."
He scowls at me. "Do you know then?"
"No, and I realized I don't have to. I chose you, and whatever it is you don't want to tell me doesn't matter. It's you and me, always has been and always will be." I bring my hand up, cupping his smooth cheek. "If you don't want t
o tell me, it's okay. If you do, I promise I'm right here. Just don't push me away."
"I'd never push you away," Tiger replies, letting his eyes roam over the room with a sigh. "You're right. It wasn't an accident. Our birth father apparently knew about us and had sent a card for our birthday. We never knew who he was, mom didn't have time to tell, and we didn't see the card. But Hernandez had seen it. He drove us off the road when Mom tried to escape with us when she found out he knew the truth."
My stomach rolls as I imagine the horror they had gone through. I lean to Tiger's shoulder, wrapping my hands around him, so my expression won't stop him from speaking. I feel the stinging behind my lids, and if I cry now, he will zip his mouth and throw the key away.
"I should've run away with Amelia, but I…" His arms grasp me harder, and I try to relax, give him the support he needs. "I couldn't believe Mom was dead. So, I didn't do anything. I froze."
I swallow the lump from my throat, holding back tears. "What happened?"
Tiger throws his head back, an irritated growl rising from his chest, and he pushes me away from his lap, getting up from the bed. "I need space."
Quickly wiping my tears away, I pull my knees to my chest, nodding, but he doesn't see it because he is already pacing around the room like a caged animal.
"He dragged us back home. Hernandez was a small time drug lord, connections to both sides of the border. There were many warehouses on the property, and one of them was meant for his guard dogs. He had cages for them ‘cause they didn't get along and got into these bloody fights. Amelia cried the entire way home, and it made him so fucking mad..." He stops pacing, shaking his hands in the air like trying to get a bad vibe off. "He threw us into one of the empty cages. I was sure he was going to kill us. I'd seen him mad before, but not like that. We were there, in the total darkness, a couple of hours until he came back with his brothers."