by Amy Brent
Before I could respond, at that very moment, Ben ran towards us. He held a little rock in his hand.
‘That boy gave it to me. It’s an asteroid. And look Mommy, the asteroid hits you now!’ And he pressed the rock into my skin. ‘Boom, you see? Space is a dangerous business, too.’
Pieces of Heaven
After this I couldn’t think of anything else but Alex’s bittersweet confession. I was floating in an asteroid belt of questions and they hit me, while I was washing the dishes, walking Ben to school, even when I was sorting out bills on my computer during work.
The monitor was flashing: are you ready to let in your life anyone, Susan? Can you imagine yourself with Alex for the rest of your life? Is it a passing temptation or is it something real? Are you building walls around you, like with this treasure box? What if you already missed opportunity for something new before it could have been started? Are you sabotaging yourself on purpose?
‘That’s it!’ I thought to myself. ‘I must fix this somehow.’ I closed my laptop and went to the IT department. Checked the signs for Sys Admin, I found Alex’s name. The corridor was empty; most of the people were on vacation during this week. I knocked on his office door and heard Alex saying: ‘Come in.’
He looked up from his computer and his lips formed words, but I wanted to go first.
‘I thought the community garden wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.’
Alex smiled. He stood up, came to me and grabbed my arms. For a quick second I forgot about the whole world around us, there was only the moment we shared. Alex didn’t say anything, just hugged me and gently squeezed my body to his. When he let me go, took my chin in his hand and said:
‘On earth there is no heaven, but there are pieces of it, as I the writer said it once. Let’s make our own piece, Susan.’
A Fox Who Likes Cheese
Alex and I spent the next month with preparation for the community garden. The biggest question was where we could find the perfect parcel. When we looked around on the internet, we found a community house which organized cultural programs, and it was a meeting place for the youth to spend their free time. They had an empty ground next to it. When I arranged a meeting with the director of the community house, I was told that they wanted to make a little park out of it, but money was hard to get, the administration was slow, and after a while they lost interest, and just focused on the indoor programs and activities. The surroundings were a little run down, but it was the perfect place for us to start. We made a deal that they lend us the parcel for a year.
One day I looked around in my room, and I realized, my table was covered with gardening books, plans we made about dividing the garden into sections, how to solve the water source. Alex took pictures of the land, and we bought some basic supplies. I started to get excited about our garden. An experiment for us, an experiment for the community.
I asked a friend of mine who worked as a graphic designer to make a leaflet. It was time to share our plans with the people around us. We wrote about the advantages of urban agriculture and the practical details how can someone participate in it. Ben, Alex, Maggie and her husband helped to stick the leaflets on different parts of the streets.
Soon, people started to check in with us. They wrote e-mails, they visited me in person, some of them called me for further details.
One day I received a strange call at home. Ben was a bit unwell, and I wanted to buy him medicine, so I was about to head out. As I was locking the door, I heard the phone ring. I quickly unlocked the door, and ran into the kitchen. Ben was already talking. He was in fact, laughing at something.
‘Who’s on the phone?’
‘A lady with a funny accent, she just narrated a joke while we were waiting for you.’
‘Give me the phone darling. This is Susan speaking.’
‘Hello, I’m sorry to bother you. My name is Navya. You have a very cute son. So I wanted to ask, if other people can join in to the gardening project, not necessarily from your area. I also live in DC and I have seen the leaflet. I really like what you’ve started.’
‘Thanks! Of course, anyone can join, who accepts our terms. We’re going to have a little opening ceremony this weekend, if you have the time, please come and join us.’
There was a pause on the other side of the line, so I asked: ‘Are you there?’
‘Yes, sorry, my mind drifted elsewhere for a sec. Sure, I’ll be there. Is it on Saturday?
I told her the exact date and place, and then asked Ben who was playing in his bed:
‘What was the joke she told you?’
‘Something about the crow and the fox, it was funny. The crow was so full that the fox ate the cheese in the end. Ain’t it funny? A fox who likes cheese, ridiculous.’
The White Cedar
‘Why is gardening so dear to your heart?’ I asked Alex as we were setting out the tomato seedlings in the section we chose for ourselves. ‘I’ve never met any young men who are fond of gardening.’
Alex’s face clouded over for a second, but as the weather never stays the same for long, it quickly changed into a mild smile. He pointed towards the little tomato plant in his hand.
‘Intimacy is like seeds, it needs a safe place to grow. Usually I tell people I did a lot of gardening with my mother, which is true, of course. For you, I want to narrate one of my dearest memories.’ He collected his thoughts and continued. ‘I was fifteen, when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. It was a long and dolorous road. Towards the end she asked me once to join her on her daily walk in our garden. We had a huge white cedar tree in our garden. She picked up a fruit, put it on her tiny palm, and said: take this seed out to the nature, find a safe place for it. Plant it with care, water it, talk to it. Pray. It will sprout and transform into a full-grown tree. By that time you are going to be an adult man with a family to care about and with a family who cares about you. Value this, my son, because life always finds a way to live on.’
‘Did you fulfill your mother’s wish?’
‘Yes. It was a difficult adventure. I went out to the woods alone, and planted it at a secret place. But unfortunately I lost my way back, and I had to spend the night in the forest. It was the night I got this scar.’
‘For me the scars were never unpleasant to see. They represent struggles in life and that we got through them.’ Alex continued:
‘Since then I visit the tree every year. That white cedar grew and matured with me. I’ve sworn that I’ll only show the tree to my child, and when my time comes, I want him to take a seed from there, and plant it somewhere.’
Pam
The day of the garden’s opening ceremony had finally arrived, I was energized and excited. I baked Cinnamon Apple Pies and Choco Chip Cookies. Ben helped me in completing the paper decorations. He enjoyed the preparation; he also helped Alex to bring out chairs and tables into the garden. We were not sure how many guests to expect, but we were not worried. We stood there, looked at our little kingdom. It was more than just a bare ground, it was about to become a small paradise inside the city. I felt Alex’s hand squeezing mine for a quick second, but it was such a light move, that even the angels missed it.
About twenty people showed up. I knew some of them from my neighborhood. University students and housewives, hobby gardeners and a couple of old people came and started to socialize with each other. I asked Alex to say some words. He introduced our plans and rules, thanked every-body for participating and closed it with heart-warming words:
‘It doesn’t matter what the weather is, always bring your own sunshine.’
During his speech I noticed a woman standing in the gate in a radiant blue dress. She kept the distance, until Alex ended the speech. People clapped and congratulated us, and everybody set out to choose their part of the garden. The woman slowly walked towards me. As she came closer, I recognized her face.
‘Hello, my name is Pam, we spoke on the phone a few days ago.’
‘Yes, I remember. I’m Susan. It’
s a pleasure to finally meet you.’
‘Do you know who I am?’ Pam looked surprised.
‘I can imagine who you are; I just don’t know why you are here.’ I told here, and my pressure increased fast. (So, this was the Navya who had called a few days back? How dare she?)
‘I wanted to pay my respect. David meant a lot to me.’
I was still holding ladle for the tea, I imagined hitting her on the face with it. Instead of this, I grabbed her by the shoulder and whispered it into her ears:
‘How dare you come here?’
Pam backed off. ‘Are you sure you know what the relationship between David and me was?’
I couldn’t believe she had the nerves to say this to me. For a second I was not even sure if I should attack her with bare hands or just to begin shouting at her. Pam closed her eyes and sighed. She spoke so quietly I could barely hear:
‘I was his half-sister. David kept it as a secret as I asked, but occasionally we met, he helped me a lot. He was a good and generous man.’
I stood there, mute and shocked. The situation felt surreal. So David’s secret was finally revealed!
When I realized how wrong it was from me to attack her, I apologized and offered her some tea, but she insisted that she could not stay. She hugged me with tears in her eyes and she whispered quietly in my ears:
‘I didn’t meet him often, but I know he was grateful for time he was given on Earth. I’m sure he would have wished you to live your life fully. You deserve happiness, Susan, don’t waste more time on grief. He is at a better place now.’
We agreed to meet once again over a cup of coffee. She slipped an envelope in my hand and walked out of the garden. She looked back once more from the street and waved, as if she waved to all the ghosts of the past. A tune flit in the air, it was one of David’s favorite.
Alex stepped behind me.
‘Who was she?’
‘She was the mystery woman.’
Hard Life of The Bastards
After meeting Pam, I felt that a huge rock was lifted from my chest. After the garden’s opening ceremony I read her letter under the blanket. Ben was sleeping next to me, quietly murmuring while he was dreaming, the cars’ reflectors cascaded shadows on the walls. I thought of Alex’s green eyes, his constant phantom-like presence in my every day, and all the fruits we will grow together. I was too shy to continue the thought, but what I suppressed consciously during the days came to me in my dreams.
Of course I had to tell Maggie at our usual lunch break what happened with the mystery woman.
‘Okay, so she is a half-sister, but did anyone know about this?
‘Pam explained in her letter, that her mother was a woman with a profession it’s better not to name. She was working by the docks, and David’s dad was a regular at that place. After a while he paid her to only be with him. Of course when the pregnancy became obvious, the man never came again. Pam was nothing more but a bastard child for him. Poor Pam didn’t expect anything good from life.’
‘And how come that your husband knew about her?’
‘By mere coincidence. He heard his parents argue one night. It happened sometime around our engagement. He decided to help his half-sister. Pam didn’t want to cause any trouble or start a family scandal, so she wanted to keep her low profile. But David insisted to meet her yearly once or twice, and occasionally sent her money, food, electronic supplies.’
What else did the mystery woman say?
‘She said that she’s got engaged to a policeman, who treats her as a real lady. She also wrote, she hadn’t experienced love yet, but maybe it’s time for her to shine.’
Maggie told me, it was time for me to concentrate on the present, not the past. She was right. I was in an optimistic mood in the following days. I’ve decided to repaint the house from my savings. It was time to bring out the boxes to the shed and let some light into the house. I swept up the blossoms and the fruits into a huge pile in the garden. The toughest year in my life had passed. The problem was I didn’t know if Alex still thought of me as he had said before. I didn’t know if I deserve happiness after all, but I had hope and that was enough.
‘Meow, Meow’, Said the Copycat
The elevator was counting down the floors, it was stuffed with tired people, whose mind was already elsewhere. Sometimes I tried to guess, what they were thinking. If they had anyone at home, waiting for them, if they go with a car or a bike or by foot, whether they liked working here or they wished for a change, or I just gave them names, looked at their expressions, wondered about their dreams and lives.
As I left the main door in the hall, somebody tapped me on the shoulders. I turned around, Alex was standing there.
‘Hello Susan, what are you up to?’
‘Hello Alex, I’m about to pick up my son at school, I promised him his favorite tonight. It’s his birthday. Of course he wanted to go out somewhere to play, but it must wait until weekend. Still, he deserves something delicious for being this awesome for eight years.’
‘Can I offer you a ride home?’ His scar faded as he smiled, and I remembered my first impressions when I first saw him; young and energetic, sharp features and glowing eyes.
I nodded. ‘That would be amazing, thank you.’
OMG…how I wished he proposes to me!
The school was not far away from my workplace, but usually we had to travel for about forty-five minutes until home. This time it was twenty minutes all together, and Ben was talking all the way.
‘And you won’t believe what happened next. I went for the ball, and scored a huge goal. The goal-keeper couldn’t do anything against it. Of course the twins hated me for it, and after PT they started to mock me in the changing room. Again.’
‘I hope you didn’t let them to get away with it!’ Alex said on a mild, caring voice.
‘Sure not! Not this time, I struck back! I told the older one: wanna fight, big guy, do you really wanna try this? And I showed him my fist. They immediately came at me and backed me into the corner.’
‘It must have been very scary.’ I told him, but in fact I was terrified how the story continues. I checked his face again, but I saw no black-eyes. But who knows what they did to him.
‘They called me Captain Zoo, as they usually do, just because I’m a great impersonator and I have the powers of all the predators in me.’
‘You do?’ Alex asked him laughing.
‘Of course I do! Do you know Doctor Doolittle? Well, he is nothing compared to me. All the animals love me, and once I dreamed that an old lion gave me all his powers. Since then I have this ability, like in the movies. But don’t worry I won’t use it against you. Only if you hurt my mommy, but I’m sure you won’t.’
‘No, I won’t, I promise. And don’t forget, I was your trainer. So tell us, how this went down.’
‘I knew they were planning to attack me again, so I did a little research on their past, as you had guided. The big one pushed my shoulders: come on, Captain Zoo, show us your meow powers! And I said, meow, meow, you have monsters under your bed. He froze, and the other started to mock me, and I said: meow, meow, you have pimples on your ass. Everybody knew it’s true, just nobody told this in his face before. So when they threw nasty comments at me, all I did was meowing. Meow, you did this and that, until my classmates joined in, and started to say meow, meow, too.’
‘And how did the twins react?’ I asked, still worried how did the story continue.
‘The smaller one said: I’m gonna tell on you to my dad, try to do this after me! But I didn’t care of what he said, I told him: you are a copycat, who exactly looks like his brother, just uglier. And the others joined in: meow, meow. They got so offended, they rushed out of the changing room, and as I heard, the smaller one started to cry in the boy’s room.’ Ben was full with pride, and he started to bang on his chest. ‘You see, I’m Godzilla on the top of a skyscraper.’
‘Yes, you surely are an eight years old Monkey king. And I’m glad you final
ly showed the redheads that it’s a bad idea to mess with you. I’m proud of you, Ben. Just please, stay out of trouble after this!’
I was very grateful for Alex, I was sure, his advice helped. ‘I want to thank you Alex for teaching him how to stand up for his rights against bullies.’
‘Sure thing! It was also a pleasure for me. His victory recompenses me for my bully-attacks in the past. Bullies must learn that they are just temporary aggressors, and when they ruling ends, they’ll be alone; so alone, it’s hard to bear.’
When we arrived to our house, I mustered up my courage and asked Alex:
‘Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?’
Stars Are Never Late
‘It’s very kind of you Susan. Why not?’ Alex said and he parked the car by the fence. I was a bit nervous; it was weird having someone around. But I tried to act cool and showed him around.
He drank a Darjeeling tea, I chose a simple coffee and we chatted about work-related stuff. After the tea he offered me help with cooking. I’d never cooked with a man before, so I was curious how good he was in the kitchen. It turned out he certainly shouldn’t be a chef, not even a kitchen-boy. He cut the meat into microscopic pieces, and he had no idea how to clean a broccoli. But the dinner was a great success after all. Ben was overjoyed as he blew his eight candles on the cake.
Of course all the day’s excitement hit him soon, and he fell into sleep on the couch. Alex took him in his arms, and put him in the bed. For him it was so much easier to lift him up. Usually I just drag poor Ben in his room because he is too heavy to carry, but this time he levitated to bed in Alex’s loving arms.
None of us felt tired, so we sat in the garden, talking. It was just after sunset, but we had already seen a few blinking stars.