by Amy Brent
A million times! Not even once…nobody had ever called me sexy….except for David!
I blushed…
‘This makes you sexier,’ he said.
‘Oh….I…,’ I fumbled for words as he asked me another question, ‘so, how often would you and David make love?’
‘Whenever David would want,’ I replied.
‘And what about you? What if you wanted and he did not?’
Well, I would get into the washroom and use a shower head to please myself. I thought it was not appropriate to say that, so kept quiet.
‘From now onwards, my lovely lady…we will respect your wishes, needs, desires… we will together take care of each other’s needs and it is okay if you say no when I want it and you don’t, okay?’ There was so much love and passion in Alex’s voice, I almost forgot about David, and for a while, even Ben. He was so considerate – how could I think of him as the bad boy!
His lips unexpectedly landed on mine and he began the process of slowly caressing my mouth. I surrendered to his manliness and opened my lips to feel his tongue over mine.
It was a warm, soft and exploratory kind of a kiss – something that I had been longing for!
As we lied down on the bed, Alex’s hand moved over my round hips as he continued to caress my lips – leisurely, playfully, skillfully…it felt so good!
His hand now lifted my leg and moved over his waist. I could feel his leg over my body now. His tongue continued to explore my mouth….
All I wanted was to get out of my clothes and feel him.
Slowly, he removed his tongue from my mouth and uttered, ‘You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met.’
His hands were now under my skirt, exploring my legs and then….reached the lacy top of my stockings.
‘I don’t want to take these off…is that okay?’
‘Yes, that’s perfect.’
His fingers resumed their journey. Now, they moved higher up towards my thighs….slowly they were on the inside of my thigh….and oooooo….they had reached the edge of my panties…..OMG….I….I needed him…
His fingers carefully and gently worked their way beneath my lacy, white panties as I opened my legs.
He began the process of careful massage…he was massaging my outer lips and then opened them to discover my damp spot.
He touched the damp area and whispered, ‘Susan, you feel so great.’
His index finger touched the rim of my entrance as I held him tightly…very tightly…I wouldn’t let him go!
‘Ugh…’ he groaned.
His hands pushed my skirt up and then began to remove my panties. I still had my stockings and stilettoes on. He carefully lifted my feet, to help me ease out of my panties.
His hands were on my waist as he now lifted my legs and gently placed them over his shoulders.
His tongue began the process of exploration once again, this time on the inside of my thigh. He moved slowly, yet skillfully….and each kiss generated a spark of electricity in my body.
I was on fire!
‘Ohhhh…’ I moaned as he licked my clit. His tongue began to trace lazy circles around my damp, sweet spot and suddenly his index finger was inside me….
‘Oh…God….Please…..take me….aaaaa….this is soooo…..soooooo good….for the love of God……pleeeease …..fuck me….’ I was moaning, wild with pleasure.
His finger rubbed the front wall of my passage as his tongue continued to massage my clit. His movement seemed to be so passionate and rhythmic….he was totally focused on my pleasure…
‘Ummmm….please….I need to feel your cock inside me….please…I beg you….’ I had never felt so great earlier. I was about to explode.
He sensed it and his fingers now moved faster. His tongue was in perfect rhythm as my hips swayed and I surrendered to him. I wanted him to continue stroking me…caressing me…holding me…
‘Ohhh……God….Alex….take me baby….play with me…..’ I was pleading and moaning ecstatically.
I exploded over his mouth….
‘I am sorry…,’ I muttered.
‘You taste incredible, Susan. And you don’t have to be sorry….I need you…I want you.’
‘I am all yours…’
Together, we removed his shirt. He smiled as I tried to unbutton my blouse and held my hands.
‘Let me do the honors,’ he smiled again.
I followed his instructions and his mouth was now caressing my neck….He carefully removed my black bra and his fingers began to smoothly massage my big, round globes.
Ohhhhhh…..it was so great….he was using just the right amount of pressure….His thumb teased my nipples and his mouth was waiting to take them in – hungrily.
He sucked one of my nipples as his thumb continued to work on the other one.
I wanted to hold his tight member in my hand and stroke it too. I began playing with his cock, stroking it gently and moving my nails over the length.
‘Ohhhh…..Susan….’ he moaned.
‘I need you, Susan’
‘Take me, Alex….I need you too…’
I felt the tip of his member move inside me now, his hands were placed over my hips and it was an amazingly satisfying sensation. Somehow, my body was so ready for him. I sank deeper as he groaned, ‘That’s so good…’
‘Ummmm…’ I moaned.
As we moved together in complete rhythm, his tongue caressed my cleavage and my breasts – one by one…..both my globes were dying for his attention.
‘Oh God….Susan….my baby…you are so hot….I love you.’
I woke up thinking about Alex….
The Grey Must Go
As the weekend came I had all the symptoms of an anxious schoolgirl. I spent hours in front of the mirror experimenting with my hair and make-up, checking my shape and looks. I tried to see myself with an eye of a stranger. The first thing I wanted to change about myself was my hair, although I knew I cannot erase the memories which came with it.
One year ago I went shopping to the market. I carried home heavy bags, because were planning a big family dinner for the next day. My parents and my sister were invited, and David’s uncle also promised to drop by. It was a miracle and also a one-time thing that Ben went to a friend’s house for a sleepover, so I had the whole evening to prepare. As I was walking, suddenly I felt a strong pain in my chest. I’ve never had such sensation in my life. I thought it must be because of the storm, I’d already felt the first raindrops on my skin, and the clouds formed angry mountains on the sky, cascading shadows over the city. People started to run around like angry ants, and traffic jams popped up immediately when the raining started. I also tried to get home soon, but the bags cut my hand, I felt dizzy and weak. I wanted to sit down on a bench to get myself together, but the lightning and the thunders chased me forward.
The silence in the house was ominous. I called my husband’s name but nobody answered. I rushed into the shed, shaking. I opened up the door without knocking. I was sure something was wrong. As I saw David lying on the table, I faced death. He was pale and his eyes were open, pain still reflected on his features. I hugged him, but I only felt a cold body in my arms, my husband was not there anymore!
I fell on my knees and burst into tears. I think I must have lost my consciousness for a while because I remember hallucinations that ran over me. I was lost in a desert; heat burnt my lips and my eyes looked for any sign of life, but instead of this, I saw a funnel cloud and raging dust coming towards me. I started to run around to find a place to hide, but soon it became impossible to see anything. Tiny grains of sand hurt my lunges and eyes. By the time the storm hit me with its strongest wind, I knew there was no point of running. I let the wind tear me into pieces, and I was sucked into the skies… When I recovered, I was still holding David’s knees, but the fact of his death remained unchangeable. These powerful pictures were haunting me for a long time, and stayed with me as the grey in my hair.
I didn’t care about my looks fo
r a very long time. Why bother? I had one aim: to survive and to make sure my son had everything. But somehow I felt, the time had arrived to change. Yes… I’ve to change. I grabbed a bottle of hair color and started to apply it.
‘Mommy, why did you do that?’ Ben was shocked to see me walking out of the bathroom with black hair. I looked into the mirror once more. My reflection reminded me of a woman I once knew; my younger self.
I still had half an hour until Alex was supposed to come. There were no signs of rain outside, we were good to go.
‘Ben, have you packed your training stuff?’ I knew what he was about to say, but I tried to motivate him instead of giving him orders.
‘Not yet.’
‘Why is that?’
‘My favorite cartoon is on TV.’
‘I see. Do you want to learn how to fight or not?’
This argument won. Ben immediately turned off the TV, and ran into his room to pack.
‘That’s the spirit, Spiderman!’ I shouted towards his room.
‘I’m not Superman, I’m Superman… Mom, how many times should I explain this to you?’ I heard Ben displeased answer.
I was a little bit anxious, I had no idea what to expect. It was so rare that I and Ben went out anywhere… My mind was full of with troubling questions. What if they don’t like each other with Alex? What if they do like each other? How should I behave?
The Paper Kite
It was unnecessary to worry about introducing Alex to my son. The weirdest part was my anxiety. With Alex near to me, I could hardly stop talking. When I finally realized that I’m acting out too much, Ben immediately started the investigation in the car.
‘What does an IT guy do?’
Alex looked at me through the rearview mirror.
‘So am I the IT guy?’
I had no clever answer to save the situation, but thankfully Ben took over again.
‘So what is an IT guy?’
‘An IT guy builds systems, looking for bad guys who want to destroy the system, handles huge amount of data and kills viruses.’
‘Cool! And how did you learn to do karate?’
Alex looked at me again. ‘Karate, huh? It’s not really karate, but something called street fight. I can teach you the basics of box, but you need some tricky moves if you want to end your enemies.’
‘Awesome.’ Ben was smiling, he had no more questions, just stared out the window, and I knew he was imagining himself already on the battlefield with the redhead twins.
We left the car in a parking house, and went in the park near to the Planetarium. We sat down on a bench, packed out some food. My son ran around like a mustang, enjoying the endless fields.
‘Hey, Ben! Come over here!’ Alex shouted and waved at him. Ben was not sure whether he wants to come back, because adults are famous for stealing their children’s precious free time, and trick them into something boring. Eventually he made up his mind, and ran to us.
‘I’ve got something for you!’ Alex said, and handed him a paper kite.
‘Wow, thanks, Alex, I’ve never had a kite before.’ Ben was glowing. ‘Can I try it out, Mommy?’
‘Go ahead! But don’t go close to the trees otherwise it will get stuck there!’
‘Superman surely can get it off the tree.’ Said Alex, who actually remembered well, who is my son’s favorite superhero. As it turned out, I could get it right sometimes, too.
‘Ah, I forgot my cape at home.’ Ben’s voice echoed from the distance.
None of us talked for a minute. My grandma used to say: an angel has passed through the room. I wondered what was on Alex’s mind, but I was afraid to ask, I didn’t want to ruin the moment. We both looked at my son running around in circles, laughing happily as the kite was jumping on the bright blue sky. Alex broke the silence:
‘When we first met, I saw you were reading a book. What was it?’
‘Honestly, I don’t remember the title. But it was about Marco Polo, who was travelling around the world, discovering cities no one heard of before, and he tells about his experiences to Kublai Khan. The turn in the book is that Polo’s stories were revolving around his birthplace all along, and he tried to expand the borders of the imaginable. All those made up cities were just versions of his own city.’
‘Sound very fascinating. I’d like to read it one day. Personally, I prefer science fiction and fantasy over all the genres.’
‘I was never into sci-fi that much. Why do you like it?’
‘I don’t particularly like the word ‘sci-fi’. I’ve learned not so long ago a term which expresses so much more, it’s called speculative fiction. But I’m still exploring the dimensions of it.’
‘I will be honest with you, I’ve never heard of it. What does it mean?’
‘It has a wider meaning than just listing some subcategories of it, but it contains science fiction, fantasy, horror. My fantasy often gravitates towards undiscovered worlds, parallel universes, and time travel. I like to live in this world, but if you want to get to know it, sometimes you need to see it differently. This is how speculative fiction works. If you change even just one crucial detail of our everyday reality, it shows our existence in a totally different perspective. It allows us to learn more about ourselves, and also to dream bigger dreams.’
‘Do you think that our glasses become dusty as we look at the world?’
‘Exactly! So you have a choice; either you clean your lenses or you change your glasses, but you must broaden your views from time to time. But there’s a reason why I suggested this park.’
‘What is that?’
Alex pointed at the huge building next to us. It was the Planetarium.
This guy actually thought about my son. He wanted Ben to be happy. He probably understood how much Ben’s happiness means to me.
And I….I was falling in love….with Alex…every single moment!
Space Is a Dangerous Business, too
‘So how did the idea occur to you to start a community garden?’ Alex turned to me while we were walking by a nature exhibition in the Planetarium.
I was hoping he’d already forgotten that Maggie mentioned this. I knew if I don’t come clean now, I’ll be caught in the web of my lies. The lack of honesty bombed my private life once; I didn’t want to get into the same situation again. I was raised on the note that respect is the main source of every real relationship. White lies are the first snowflakes of an avalanche, my mom used to say, and I could tell from my own experience, it’s a terrible feeling to be on any side when the avalanche crashes down the mountain-side.
‘It didn’t. I was never planning such thing.’
‘Is that so?’ Alex turned his head to the side and waited for an explanation.
‘There’s something I want to tell you. It’s a very sensitive subject, please don’t judge and don’t assume here, just hear me out.’
‘All right, I do as you say. Tell me.’ And he seated himself. I started to talk about my married life. The nostalgic power of the past filled me with mixed emotions, tears rolled down my face. Alex took out a tissue from his pocket, and wiped them down with gently moves. When I stopped sobbing, I told him the dark episode, too. I don’t know why, but telling him everything was so comforting!
‘One night I found a tiny wooden box, with some mysterious content. There was a huge amount of money hidden in it, next to it nothing but a photo and a poem. My first thought was that David might have saved up this money for us, but the photo showed me his unknown side – a different side. The picture showed David with his hand across on a young woman’s shoulder. They were smiling happily as if I’ve never existed; while in reality I was at home, raising my three years old son, believing that our home is sacred and untouchable for all the monsters hiding outside in the world.’
‘When did you find this box?’
‘Only a few months ago. Since then I try to bury this in myself, pretending that nothing has happened. But when this secret was revealed, pain and rage chased me
through the streets of our neighborhood. I wanted to find out who is the woman on the picture. My judgment was clouded by my feelings. She can be behind any door, I thought, and I searched for her, although the idea of finding her scared me the most.’
Alex was listening with full attention, and slowly he put together the pieces of the puzzle.
‘So you used this garden thing as a cover story to check out the women nearby.’
I was too ashamed to say yes or no, I just lowered my head.
‘Did you find her? Do you know who she is?’
I shook my head. ‘I’m not sure I want to know.’
Alex couldn’t hide how upset he was. He stood up and started to walk around. I was waiting for him to finally say something; either good or bad, but this was going to influence our relationship. The starry world around us whirled in slow motion. Ben was lost in playing. They sat next to each other with a little boy. They flew with tiny rocket ships and miniature astronauts across the Milky Way, fought star battles with each other and against an invisible enemy. Alex also checked on them, it seemed caring about kids was an instinct in him, what not many people have.
‘I think it’s you who judged and assumed here, Susan. You cannot be sure that your husband was cheating on you. There can be other explanation as well. But yes, it smells fishy at any rate, so I understand your doubts.’
‘Thank you, Alex.’
‘I also want to be honest with you…’ He stopped for a second, took a deep breath, and sat back next to me. ‘I was hoping that our friendship is leading towards something… more intimate. I’m amazed by your strength and I’m attracted to the depths of soul – but I won’t invade to your private life when you are so fragile, and still lost in the past. I want to be there for you and Ben as a friend, you can count on me. But I think, at this state, it would be selfish from my side to rush anything.’
He also thought about me in the same manner as I thought about him.