Two Hard

by Amy Brent

  ‘Freckles of the sky.’ I said.

  ‘Or more like features of the sky.’ He answered.

  ‘How do you mean that?’

  ‘For me they always symbolized something more than just sparkling scenery. Freckles are just dots of your face, but your features are formed by the effects of pain, joy and love. A face reflects the past, just as the night-sky up there.’

  ‘But it can give you a massive cosmicophobia as well, don’t you think so?’

  ‘Explain please, what on Earth is that.’ Alex said.

  ‘Well, my sister taught me this expression. She wants to be a psychologist, and they stuff their heads with tricky words. Once I confessed her, I often feel lonely when I look up at the sky, and the infinity of it intimidates me. I feel small, insignificant and transient. She said it’s cosmicophobia.’

  ‘I get what you mean, but think of it this way: stars born and die, shine until they survive, then they explode and give their energy and matter for other stars to be born. This is the circle of life. Their light is a sign of their existence, but none of us think that a star should shine forever. Fulfilling fate is the most evident laws of nature. Whatever happens to them, stars are never late.’

  ‘That’s true. They just shine and shine some more, they are singing with the speed of light.’

  Alex turned towards me and stroked my cheek slowly.

  ‘Every star seems to fade when I see your glowing smile, Susan.’ And I felt his lips carefully touching mine, our tongues revolved around each other. This never ending kiss was the first real kiss, and many many more was about to follow. It was surely much more pleasurable than all the kisses I had dreamt with him.

  Stars are never late, his words echoed in my head. Neither are we, I thought.

  ROMANTIC SUSPENSE – a kidnapping, possible murder, romance, lust, passion….OMG, THIS ONE IS JUST PERFECT!

  HIS GRAVE SECRET

  Monday

  Ordinary. Dull. Simple.

  Those are the words that describe my entire being!

  If you followed me around for one whole day, you would without doubt know the rest.

  For me, almost every day is similar. Absolutely no spontaneity, no excitement – plain, simple, routine. I sometimes prefer to call it boring except the one excitement that keeps me going!

  Waking up every morning knowing how the day will end isn't fun at all, but that's how it is.

  That's me - An ordinary, dull, curly brown-haired, brown-eyed girl.

  “But Jasmine, you have been blessed with such a sexy and slim figure!”

  Yup! I hear that quite often and my answer is “Yes, I do! Why, thank you!” but it all falls down the drain with my clothes that cover pretty much everything. They're baggy and wide, so my slim figure means nothing there.

  Being a first year in college isn't easy. After all, they do call that year the “Elimination” year.

  It’s Monday again!

  I get up, eat breakfast, take a shower and brush my teeth, like I always do.

  It's time for college now. I say goodbye to my mom and dad, they wish me a nice day and I leave the house.

  'Jasmine, sweetie, you forgot your notebook!' my mom yelled from the front door. Wow, you forgetting something? Now that's something unexpected.

  'Thanks, bye!' I took the notebook from her and walked towards the bus stop. It's a ten minute walk from my house. I check my wristwatch for the time. 08:11 AM, the neighbor should be on his morning jog now. I looked around and saw him running in my direction, a sweatband on his forehead and small pink dumbbells in his hands. Bingo.

  'Good morning!' I greeted him.

  'Morning!' he ran past me.

  Moving on to the rest of the set of “excitements”. I see the other neighbor mowing his lawn. This early in the morning? I bet the neighbor from the house next door will give him an earful. Soon enough, a grumpy woman left her house and hastily approached the fence of her property, the bath towel on her head shaking as she yelled at him.

  As I strolled through the neighborhood, I saw more or less everything that I see every morning. If were to speak my thoughts aloud while someone was walking with me, they'd think I could see the future or something.

  You being psychic or this neighborhood being boring? Gee, I wonder which one is easier to believe.

  At the bus stop, I get on the 08:20am bus and sit somewhere in the front. Like every day, today again, the bus is overcrowded. Some people are going to work, some to school, college and some to fulfill other errands- but all of them are familiar faces. Same old, familiar faces.

  Except two though. Those two being lovey-dovey again! This is the only highlight of my day and of course a treat to watch.

  They are not new faces but they seem to be fresh compared to others.

  A young couple, always sitting in the same spot and in the same pose. He had his hand over her while she rested on his shoulder and giggled. The girl looked like she was somewhere around my age, the same couldn't be said for the guy. He was somewhat older than her, I'd give him around twenty five, twenty six.

  The guy planted a soft kiss on her forehead and I noticed his hand move under her skirt!

  In public! In such an overcrowded bus!

  She blushed, giggled and I couldn’t help but notice how receptive she was. Oooooo…. She is loving every bit of it! Must have been so great…

  I caught myself thinking about them, couldn't help but feel a bit jealous of their relationship.

  A typical blonde girl with Mr. Handsome.

  I want someone to hold me like that too, someone to make me giggle like an idiot, someone to break this monotone cycle of events called life.

  And there they go – hand in hand, so much in love!

  I wish I could take her place, I wish his hand could move under my skirt, I wish I could moan in pleasure as he sucks my …….

  They always leave at this bus stop, three stops before mine.

  No, don't go! Please….

  She can, though.

  He was probably the highlight of my day, the only highlight.

  Isn't that sad though? That I reached the peak of excitement this early in the morning. The rest of the rise is dull as usual. I get off at my bus stop and continue my walk to the college. My class starts at 09:00 AM so I have fifteen minutes to get there and prepare for class, which is more than enough. I got there eight minutes early, just enough time for me to grab a cup of coffee from the coffee machine and prepare for class. I sat on my seat in the front row and ducked to pull out my notebook.

  'There you are! Early as always.' I got startled by the voice and hit the back of my head on the desk as I rose up.

  'Ouch! Robin, I told you so many times not to startle me like that this early in the morning!'

  'It's not my fault you get startled that easily.' she said and sat on the edge of my desk. ‘You were thinking about him, right?’

  Robin Kane, one of the rare friends I have and also one of the rare things in my life that brings me some kind of joy. If she only knew how much I like our conversations, I wonder what she would say.

  However, if I told her that, she would only get worried about me so that's a no no.

  Robin has short black hair and brown eyes, she's actually very pretty even though she almost always acts a bit tomboyish. She's really lean and strong since she loves sports and always kind of dresses accordingly. Sweat pants, tank tops, T-shirts...almost as if she's waiting for someone to call her to play some sport with her.

  'So, Jas? Did you see your Mr. Handsome today?' she curled her body towards me in a teasing manner. I already regret telling her. Could have come up for a better nickname for him than Mr. Handsome too.

  'Yes. I see him every morning now.' she got even closer now.

  'Oooh?' I pushed her face away with two fingers. 'So, so evident from your face…..Why don't you talk to him?'

  'He has a girlfriend.'

  'So? That doesn't mean you can't get to know the guy. May be he has a wro
ng girlfriend, maybe he deserves you!'

  'They're always together when I see him. I can't just march right up to them and start talking to him while his girlfriend is there. It would be weird.'

  'Chicken.'

  'Oh, come on. It really wouldn't be nice of me to do that.'

  'Fine, have it your way. Remember, if you don’t talk, you might just lose him.'

  The professor entered the classroom.

  'We'll talk after the class. Wanna grab a drink later?' she rose up from my desk.

  'Sure.'

  'See you later then.' she returned to her seat which was somewhere in the back rows. She never was exactly a model student. You would sooner find her sleeping in class than actually paying attention. Her excuse is that she can't stay still in class and that it's too boring so she sleeps to pass the time. It's remarkable how she got to college with that kind of attitude. The professor went up to his desk and began calling names for attendance. Soon enough, he came to mine.

  'Hays?' he looked around the class.

  'Here.' I rose my hand. You remember everyone in the first row except me. Thanks. That really helps my self-esteem a lot.

  The class went on as usual. The professor showed us the material he had for today and let us go half an hour early. As I was packing my notebook into my bag, Robin dashed to my desk, full of energy even though she just slept through the entire class. I wonder how she does that.

  'That was a good class...mhm.' she nodded.

  'You slept through it. Again.'

  'Of course. Now I have even more energy!' Is that even possible? I rose up from my seat and we left the college building. 'Let's get something to eat first.' she said and took the lead to a nearby fast-food restaurant. We sat inside on the table right next to the big window. The waitress came to our table holding a clipboard which she uses to write down orders.

  'Hello, welcome to the Fast and Feisty restaurant. What can I get you?'

  'Can you give me this vegetarian menu?' I asked.

  'Sure.' she wrote it down on the clipboard. 'One vegetarian menu. And you?'

  'I'll have a hamburger with large fries.' Robin answered.

  'A hamburger and large fries. Okay, coming right up.' she wrote it down and went to report the order to the chef.

  ‘“I'll have a vegetarian menu.”’ Robin tried to imitate my voice but failed miserably.

  'What? I don't like eating meat.'

  'I'm not on the top of the food chain to eat grass.'

  'Yeah, yeah, heard that one already. You eat yours, I'll eat mine.'

  'Anyway, did you choose a task for the P.E. Class?'

  'I was thinking of going hiking. I only have to do it two times a year so I'll just survive those two times and get rid of it.'

  In college we have a PE class, I don't know why colleges have that but it's mandatory. You have a wide selection of things you can do to pass the class, ranging from hiking, going to the gym, basketball, athletics, soccer, swimming and so on. Like I said, hiking only takes three times a year which is much better than going to the gym every two days or something.

  'I don't know what to pick.' Robin grabbed her hair in frustration. 'I want to do them all!'

  'You're insane.'

  'I like going to the gym but I like basketball too. Soccer's nice, I'm good at swimming and I'm a fast runner. Don't make me choose between them!'

  'If that's your biggest worry as a student, there is something terribly wrong with you.'

  'Come on, Jas! Help me out here.'

  'You can go hiking with me?' When I proposed that idea, it was almost as if something “clicked” inside her. She pointed one finger to the sky or rather the ceiling in our case.

  'I know! I'll choose hiking but I'll combine them! I can run up the hill while dribbling a basketball and having strap on weights on my arms and legs! I'll have to sacrifice soccer and swimming but their sacrifice won't be in vain!'

  'You really are insane. You can't pull that off.'

  'Why not?' She seriously doesn't see the problem in that.

  'For starters, you would have to be super human to do all that effectively.'

  'The only limits we have are the ones we put on ourselves.' I'm at a loss of words here.

  Even though she acts all jolly and hyperactive most of the time, some very interesting things come out of her mouth from time to time. We met on the first day of college, on the introduction ceremony. She asked for directions to the main hall which I was also looking for so we found it together. Kind of cliche but that's how friendships start most of the time.

  As I looked through the window, I saw someone that made my heart skip a beat. I saw that guy for the bus, walking and holding hands with HER.

  Robin noticed that I was staring at the guy. 'Is that him?' I wanted to stop looking at him but I couldn't. 'Oh my God! That's him!'

  'Shhh…. keep your voice down!'

  'That's him?' she covered her mouth with her hand, almost as if I was telling her some big secret or something.

  'Yes, that's him.'

  'So that's Mr. Handsome. The name fits him.'

  As I was staring at him, lost in my own fantasies, I failed to realize that he was looking right at me.

  'Jasmine? Earth to Jasmine. Jas, he's looking right at you.'

  'What?!' I snapped back to reality, saw him looking at me and hastily looked away. 'Why didn't you tell me earlier!?'

  'I tried but you were lost in your own world again.'

  Yes, I was dreaming about him, how nice would it be to smell him, touch him, feel him and surrender to him…ooooohhhhh…

  'Is he still looking at me?' I asked Robin trying to hide my feelings and thoughts that I believe were so evident via my eyes.

  'Nah, they walked away towards the college building.'

  I sighed in relief.

  'Do you think he noticed?'

  'Well, he was looking straight at you. Judging by the expression on his face, I think he was weirded out a bit.'

  'No, no, no, no, no!' I clapped my cheeks.

  'You look so cute when you're in love.'

  'I'm not in love!'

  'Are you sure? You sure seem in love to me? Head over heels in love, in fact.'

  'I'm not.' my protest wasn't as loud this time. Could it be that I've really fallen for a guy I don't even know?

  'Jasmine, I didn't know you had a thing for older guys.' she smiled as she chewed on her French fries. 'And a taken one too. Phew, you're one hell of a rebel inside, aren't you?'

  'Quit it.'

  'I bet you're undressing him with your eyes all the time.'

  'What the? Come on!'

  'Hey, it's a normal thing to do. People have their needs, you know?'

  'What needs?'

  'Oh, Jasmine. Sweet little innocent Jasmine, you know well enough what kind of “needs” I'm talking about.' my mind clicked and I realized what she's implying.

  'Sex?! I don't even know him!' I said that one a bit too loud and some people looked towards our table. I leaned in towards Robin and whispered. 'Are you crazy?'

  'I know you're a virgin.'

  'What? How? I never told you.'

  'You didn't really have to. It's basically written on your forehead.'

  'That obvious?'

  'Yup.'

  'How about you?'

  'What about me?'

  'Are you a...virgin too?'

  'Yup.' I must admit that I was surprised. I rested my back on the chair.

  'Really? Wow.'

  'Yeah, why? What's so “wow” about that?'

  'I always thought you were “experienced” in that section.'

  'Don't know where you got that idea but nope. I mean, I'm not as innocent as you are but I'm still a virgin.'

  'Weren't you dating some guy?'

  'That's old news. He dumped me two months ago.'

  'Really? Why?'

  'Because I played soccer better than him.'

  'Seriously?'

  'Ah, you know boys. He wa
s afraid that his crew will make fun of him so...yeah.'

  'What an asshole.'

  'Don't worry about it. He was too whiny for me anyway.'

  'I envy your cheerfulness sometimes.' The rest of our conversation was about TV shows and handsome actors. When we finished our meal, we parted ways. I got on the bus and made my way home. I entered through the front door and took off my shoes.

  'I'm home!' I announced myself and heard a reply from my mother in the kitchen.

  'Hi, sweetie! How was your day?'

  'Good.'

  'Are you hungry?'

  'Nah, I just ate. I'll be in my room if you need anything.'

  'Okay.'

  I ran up the stairs to the first floor, went into my room and closed the door behind me. First things first, change into my pajamas. I also take off my bra, which is a relief like no other. Praise the Lord. After I'm all relaxed and comfy, I quickly repeat today's lecture so I don't fall behind on my studies. I always do that. It makes things a lot easier later during exams. I guess it's a habit, a boring one, but a good habit nonetheless. It doesn't take long, an hour tops. After the business end is done, I can finally let go.

  I turned off the lamp on my desk, collapsed on the bed and stared at the ceiling for an indefinite amount of time. I always do that, it's sort of a routine again. Everything is routine for you. And then, I close my eyes and I drift off into my inner world. I catch myself thinking about the guy and about what Robin said. Could it really be that I'm in love? The more I think about him, the warmer I feel on the inside. I want him to hold me tight, to hug me and never let go. I hugged my pillow and let out a giggle.

  Here I was, a 19 year old girl, hugging a pillow and giggling. If someone walked in on me now, it would be pretty strange. I pictured him in my mind. His stylish brown hair, his green eyes, his muscular, tattooed body. I wonder if his beard would bother me while we're kissing. What would it be like? Having a guy like that to love me? The way I'm headed, I might never know. But a girl can always dream, right? It would be fun to sit on his bike and own the streets!

  I imagined him coming up to me while I had my eyes closed. Surprising me with a kiss, which I returned. He left my lips and indulged himself in kissing my neck and going lower and lower. He raised my shirt and kissed my stomach, focusing on the area around my belly button. As he went lower with his lips, he gently moved his hands across my thighs. Moving ever so closer to my unpicked flower. Lost in my fantasies, I haven't even realized that my body was following along, mimicking his hands in my fantasy. His hands were almost at their goal, so were his lips.