by Amy Brent
That night, Julia and the girls took me out for drinks after work, to celebrate. We went to a bar not far from the office and got a table. I was the only one who got carded, being the baby of the group. The others refused to let me pay for any drinks, since it was “my night.”
We started with a round of shots. Julia raised her glass and smiled at me. “To Brianna, welcome aboard!”
We knocked back our drinks, having a great time. The four of us chatted and laughed, while Julia, Amy, and Katherine shared stories about their early days just out of college. All three of them had married young, though Julia was the only one who was divorced. I evaded any questions about my love life and whether I was planning on getting married one day. I still hadn't quite found the right time to tell my new friends that I was a lesbian.
A bit later in the night, Amy and Katherine went to the bathroom to freshen up. Julia and I sat nursing our drinks. I was feeling a bit buzzed. I'd had a few more shots than I normally would have, and I was certainly feeling them.
A cute blonde waitress came over to clear away our empty glasses. When she leaned over the table, I got an excellent view down the front of her shirt. I was so buzzed that I didn't have the sense to show any subtlety, so I simply stared, an admiring look on my face.
When the waitress left and I looked over at Julia, I saw a knowing smile on her lips.
“What?” I asked. I lowered my eyes, my face heating up.
“Nothing,” she said. I glanced up at her and she shrugged. “It's nothing, really. It's not my business to pry.”
I took a deep breath and let it out. I figured now was as good a time as any. “You probably already figured this out,” I said. “But in case you didn't...I'm gay.”
She smiled and reached over to pat my hand. “I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me.”
I shrugged and took another sip of my drink. “It's not like I keep it a secret or anything. I'm out. I just...” I sighed. “Sometimes it's not an easy thing to slip into conversations.”
“I know what you mean,” she said. “Well, sort of.”
I peered at her, wondering what she meant by that, but I didn't get the chance to ask. Amy and Katherine came back and we ordered another round of drinks. We all chatted a little longer, until Amy got a text message from her husband.
“Ooh,” she said, frowning at her phone. “I should really get going. The dog and the baby both just had accidents, and Will needs some backup.”
“Good luck with that,” I said, making a disgusted face. “Yuck.”
“I should get going, too,” Katherine said. “My husband gets ornery when I stay out too late having fun without him.”
We wished the girls a good night. They left some cash on the table and Julia worked on sorting out how much of a tip to give. I watched her with a dumb little smile on my face. She was so damn cute. I felt like I could just kiss her right then.
She looked up at me, caught my look, and smiled. “Brianna, my dear, you've had too much to drink.”
“I'm fine.” I waved a dismissive hand and leaned forward, propping my chin on my palm.
Julia snickered. “You're not driving.”
I frowned at her, but then I realized the room was starting to spin, just a little bit. “That might be a good idea,” I said.
“Come on,” Julia said. She took my arm and helped me out of my chair. “I'll drive you home.”
She led me out to her car. I watched her as she helped me into the passenger seat, then circled around and got into the driver's side. She smiled at me and it made me feel warm.
I reached over and put a hand on her leg. “God,” I said, moaning in irritation. “It's too damn bad that you're straight.”
“Oh?” She held still, watching me.
“Yeah. I mean, look at you. God.” I looked her up and down, having no shame in my drunken state. “If you liked girls, I'd be all over you. I mean, that ass...” I pursed my lips, wishing for things that couldn't be.
Julia's face turned red. She laid her hands on mine. “Well,” she said. “It's not like I've never done anything with a girl.”
My heart started to race. I looked her in the eye. “You...you have?”
She looked away, her blush deepening. “I experimented a bit in college. I wasn't sure what I wanted. I told people I was bi for a while. I guess after being married for so many years, I kind of stopped thinking of myself that way. I haven't been with a woman in more than ten years.”
I leaned over, my hand sliding between her thighs. I couldn't believe how forward I was being. I was never like this. Not when I was sober, anyway.
“There's no time like the present,” I whispered.
She turned to face me, and before she could say anything I leaned up and pressed my lips against hers. She gasped and pulled back, looking into my eyes. I bit my lower lip, wondering if I'd just made a mistake.
But a moment later she leaned in, letting her lips brush against mine. I reached up and caressed her cheek as our lips came together. My tongue brushed ever so lightly against her lips, and it made her moan.
She pulled back and looked away, blushing. “I...I don't know about this,” she said. “I haven't even been on a date since the divorce. Jimmy really left me pretty messed up.
“Shh,” I said, shifting across the seat to move closer to her. “I know. I've never been married or anything, but I know what it's like to lose the man in your life. I lost my dad a few months ago...”
“Oh, Brianna.” She looked at me and reached up to touch my face. Her soft hands sent shivers through me.
We came together again, tasting each other. I reached up and fondled her breasts through her silken red blouse. They were large and firm, much bigger than mine. I undid a couple of buttons so I could slip my hand into her blouse and feel her skin. Her nipples got hard as I teased them. Her breath came in sharp gasps and she tensed up beneath my touch.
I reached down lower and slipped my hand up her skirt. She squealed and shouted, “Brianna! Not in the parking lot!”
I ignored her protests and kept working my fingers until she moaned and spread her legs. I kissed her neck and nibbled at her skin. She was so soft, so warm, that I couldn't control myself.
She kept her lips pressed together as my fingers worked their magic between her legs. She clutched at the door handle, her knuckles turning white. I nibbled on her ear and whispered to her, promising her all the things I wanted to do to her, all the sensations I wanted her to experience. Her head was thrown back and her entire body tensed up. She closed her eyes tight as she savored the sensations. I grinned and whispered in her ear, “Let me remind you what a woman's touch feels like.”
Her legs clamped down around my hand. She grabbed my arm and held onto it for dear life. I laughed and kissed her neck, her face, her lips. She held onto me as her body relaxed. Finally she let out a wistful sigh and opened her eyes, gazing at me with deep satisfaction.
I heard some giggles from outside the car and looked out to see a couple of college-age girls walking by, pointing at us. “Well,” I whispered to Julia. “At least we gave someone a good show.”
She turned bright red and turned to stare at the girls as they walked by. She covered her face with her hands. “Oh God!”
I laughed and held her close, leaning my head against her shoulder. “I would have thought you'd have said that two minutes ago.”
She laughed and took my hand, holding it in hers. “That...that was unexpected.”
I nuzzled against her, drowsy. “I've been wanting to do that since the first day I met you.”
“Really?”
I nodded.
“God, I...” She sighed and shook her head. “This is crazy. I didn't think I'd ever get involved with a girl again.”
“Mmm.” I closed my eyes, nestled against her warm, soft body. After that I must have drifted off, because the next thing I knew, we were at my house. Julia helped me out of the car and walked me to the door. We stood there for a few minutes,
making out. I wondered what my mom would think if she looked out the window and saw us. She knew I was a lesbian, but I had never dated someone more than a decade older than me. Not that Julia's age made any difference. It didn't make her any less beautiful.
“I'll see you at work on Monday,” she whispered to me as we parted.
“What about this weekend?”
She sighed and shook her head. “I've got my kids.”
I pouted, but told her that I understood. We shared one more kiss, then she left and I went inside. I went straight up to my room and collapsed onto my bed. I passed out there without even taking off my clothes.
* * *
Monday at work was an awkward day. Julia and I kept things professional, in order to keep up appearances around the office. But we kept trading glances whenever we crossed paths. I saw forbidden desire in her eyes every time she looked at me.
At the morning meeting to go over the latest issue of the journal, we sat side by side, our thighs touching under the table. I slipped my foot out of my shoe and rubbed it against her calf, tickling her bare skin. She tried her best to sit still without squirming, and I had a wonderful time teasing her and trying to make her jump. She kept giving me looks of mock annoyance all throughout the meeting, but she couldn't say anything without giving away what was going on.
We slipped out at lunch, circling around the building towards the parking lot. Halfway there, I pulled Julia into a corner, blocked from view by some flowering shrubs. I pushed her up against the wall and kissed her deeply, running my hands over her body. She melted against me, her lips eagerly tasting mine.
She pulled away and whispered in my ear, “We're going to get caught!”
I held her close and nuzzled her neck. “Are we trying to keep this secret?”
She pulled back and looked at me, a slight frown on her lips. “I...I'm not sure.”
I stepped away from her. “Okay,” I said, trying to keep any emotion out of my voice. “That's okay. I mean, we haven't talked about what this is yet. I don't want you to get uncomfortable or anything.”
“Oh, it's not that, Brianna.” She took both of my hands in hers. She sighed and gave them a squeeze. “It's just all happening so fast. I'm not sure what to think. I mean...I've got kids, and my ex-husband is a pain, and...”
I nodded, keeping my eyes on the ground. “It's cool, Julia. No pressure or anything. I know you're dealing with a lot right now.”
I was dealing with a lot of my own issues, truth be told. Getting together with Julia was one of the only good things that had happened in my life since my dad died.
“Let's just keep things quiet at work for now,” Julia said, squeezing my hands. “But we can...we can go out tonight?”
“Like, on an actual date?” I asked, smiling at her.
“Yes...yes.” She took a deep breath. “Dinner. Just the two of us. A nice, quiet evening together.”
“Sounds good to me.” I grinned, then stepped into her arms for another quick kiss before we parted.
We got through the rest of the day without any drama at work, then went out to dinner. We sat across from each other, sharing meaningful glances as we ate. We touched hands, we whispered sweet things to each other, and it was just about as perfect of an evening as I could have imagined.
“So,” I said as the evening wore on. “I'm having a good time. And it seems like you're having a good time. And I guess I'm just hoping to get an idea about whether this is just a good time, or what.”
Julia studied me with a carefully neutral expression. She toyed with her fork, twirling it between her fingers. “You understand that I'm divorced, right?” she said. “And I have kids. I've...I've got a lot of baggage, Brianna. And to be honest, my life has been kind of a mess lately.”
“I know it has.” I reached across the table, took the fork from her, and held her hand in mine. I squeezed her hand tight, giving her a reassuring smile. “My life hasn't been that easy, either. I planned to move out on my own after I finished college, but with dad gone...”
“You've been helping your mother out,” Julia said, nodding. “That's sweet of you.”
I shrugged. “My little brother is a pain in the ass. He never helps out.”
Julia laughed. “Sounds just like my son. He's thirteen.”
“Wow.” I sat back, thinking about that. “My little brother is seventeen.”
A sad little smile crossed her lips. “I suppose I'm not quite old enough to be his mother. Or yours.”
“I don't care how old you are.” I leaned forward and whispered, “As far as I'm concerned, you're hot stuff, and I mean that.”
She laughed and waved a hand at me. “Oh, stop.”
“I mean it.” My eyes roamed over her body. She was wearing a low-cut top, showing a generous amount of cleavage. “And as a matter of fact, I'm planning on seducing you right after dinner.”
“Oh my...” She swallowed, then pressed her lips tight together. “Not in the car again, I hope. God, that was awkward...”
I frowned, thinking it over. “We can't exactly go back to my mom's house.”
“And my kids are home with the sitter.”
I let out a long, slow breath. Then I perked up and said, “Hey, I'm up for going to a motel.”
“Oh God...” Julia looked at me like I was crazy. But then I caught her eyes straying as she peeked down my blouse. “Well...”
I got up and took her hand, helping her to her feet. “Come on,” I said. “It's been too long since you've really made love to a woman.”
Her face turned red as she followed me outside. We drove a few blocks to a cheap but clean little motel just off the highway. We got a room, and I ignored the smirk on the clerk's face when I told him that we'd only be needing the room for a few hours. I took the keycard from him and took Julia's hand, then we hurried to the room and shut ourselves inside.
I pushed her up against the bed, kissing her and unbuttoning her blouse. She whimpered and clung to me, her long nails grazing my skin. I pulled off her blouse and let it drop to the floor, then unsnapped her bra. I grinned as her glorious breasts were freed of their confinement. I grabbed onto both of them, running my fingers across their soft curves. I teased her nipples and kissed her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume.
I lowered her onto the bed and stood over her, slowly unbuttoning my blouse. She laid there, propped on her elbows, watching me with hunger in her eyes. I slipped off my blouse and my bra, then reached down and slipped my fingers around her neck, gently pulling her up to me. She buried her face into my breasts and I wrapped my arms around her head, moaning in pleasure.
I looked down into her eyes as her lips played with my nipples. She smiled up at me, her eyes filled with lust. I leaned down and kissed her sweet lips, then laid down on top of her, straddling her waist.
We discarded the rest of our clothes and our bodies intertwined on the bed. I let Julia explore my body, giggling with pleasure as she trailed kisses all over my smooth skin. I guided her hands up to my breasts and encouraged her to touch me, to feel me, to enjoy my body.
Our bodies tangled among the sheets as we brought each other to heights of ecstasy. Julia reminded me what it was like to feel passion at another woman's touch. She was gentle, she was encouraging, and she was patient. I felt pleasure at her touch that I'd never known with the girls I'd fooled around with in college. I craved more and more, until my body trembled and I felt all of my energy drain away in a rush of pure satisfaction.
Afterwards we showered together, then dressed, then sat on the edge of the bed, holding hands and sharing a quiet moment. I leaned my head against her shoulder and she put an arm around me. She held me close and kissed my forehead, and everything felt perfect.
“Thank you for that,” she whispered.
“Thank you yourself,” I said, laughing and poking her in the ribs.
“Not just for the physical part,” she said. “I mean, for making me feel alive again. For making me feel wanted
. Desired. For making me feel like a woman. It's been a long time since I felt that way. For the last few years of our marriage, even my husband didn't make me feel that way.”
“I don't think I ever knew what that was like,” I said with a sigh. “I've fooled around before, but that was nothing like this.”
She touched her fingers under my chin and lifted my face towards hers, planting a soft kiss on my lips. We stood up, our fingers intertwined, and we went to check out of the hotel. The desk clerk still had a lecherous smirk when we turned in the keycard. But I didn't care what he thought.
All I cared about was the woman I'd just made love to, and the new chapter of my life that was starting right now.
* * *
Julia and I kept seeing each other as the weeks went by. We never flaunted it while we were at work, but soon enough people were talking, and I made no attempts to hide it or deny what was going on. A few people whispered about us in the corners and gave me strange looks as I walked by, but no one seemed to have a problem with our relationship. I didn't care what they thought anyway.
My family was a different story, as was Julia's. I had to deal with figuring out how to tell my mother that I was dating an older woman. Julia had the much more difficult task of trying to tell her kids that she was with a woman, when they might not understand.
We were at a park not far from her house one day, more than a month into our relationship, when I finally decided it was time to broach the issue. We walked through the park hand in hand, enjoying the sunshine and the fresh air. I struggled for a while with trying to figure out how to say what needed to be said. Finally, I asked her, “What are you doing for Labor Day?”
“Labor Day?” she asked. “Well, Jimmy and I used to barbecue. But since it'll just be me and the kids this year, I don't know if it'll be worth the effort. I might just take them to the parade, then maybe take them out for ice cream.”
“Does it have to be just you and the kids?” I asked. I looked up at her with a hopeful gleam in my eye.