by Amy Brent
“I pushed you away, Deck. I am hurt by that but it’s on me. I can forget about it soon.” Mallory told him as a smile crossed his face. They kissed as they slipped into each other’s arms and towards the bedroom in a silent agreement. They fell onto the bed and moved around each other and over each other as they slowly stripped off their clothes. Declan discovered that she still wore her ring with the hope that they could continue on their path and he made love to her wearing only the diamond as he professed his love to her.
They got to know each other again over the next few months. They cried over the loss of their baby and what their life was to become. Sometimes she screamed at him for sleeping with someone else when her insecurities hit her hard. Other times he lashed out at her for pushing him away to begin with.
They moved on into a stronger relationship than before and three months later Declan asked her to become his wife all over again over dinner.
EPILOGUE
One year later, Mallory stood with her father in her heart as well as Rayna’s in blood amid looked down the aisle to see Declan waiting for her. They were at a beach that they’d both come to love over the last few months and just a few family and friends were gathered together to watch them finally start their life together. The time back together had been hard and even painful at moments but they loved each other deeply and knew that they couldn’t live without each other.
They hadn’t announced it to anyone yet but they were also expecting again. She was just three months along and the couple was quietly rejoicing about it before they told anyone. Besides, they wanted today to be about the wedding.
She smiled happily as the music started and watched Rayna walk down the sand before her, over the pale pink petals that were sprinkled over the soft surface. They’d been through hell but now she was going to have everything with De clan again. She stepped forward and met his eyes as she walked, steady and easily.
The End
LESBIAN – RESCUED BY LOVE
RESCUED BY LOVE
I first met Julia when my boss was schmoozing me around the office at the beginning of my internship. Sandra actually used the words “I'm going to schmooze you for a bit” before she led me around and started introducing me to people. I followed her, feeling like a bit of a dork since I was carrying a plate with a slice of birthday cake as I went from cubicle to cubicle. It was Sam's birthday, and he'd brought me an over-sized slice of cake covered in thick, super-sugary icing. Naturally, I had smeared some on my chin without realizing it just before Julia and I were introduced.
“Hi, nice to meet you,” she said, holding her hand out.
I fumbled with my plate, nearly dropping the cake as I freed up a hand to shake Julia's. The first thing that I noticed was how soft her hand was. My fingers lingered in her touch until I realized it was about to get awkward. I pulled my hand away, then caught a glimpse of my reflection in the little mirror Julia kept hanging on the side of her cubicle. When I saw the icing smeared across my chin I turned bright red, fumbling for a napkin and wiping myself clean.
Julia laughed, and I could seriously have died right then. She had a musical laugh. She shook her head at me, her long red hair falling in waves around her face. I tried my best not to stare.
“Brianna is about to graduate from Rowan University,” Sandra said. “She's going to be with us at least for the summer.”
I was hoping to turn the internship into a full-time job after I graduated. I just had the internship at The Orthopedics & Sports Medical Journal to finish my degree, along with one summer class. Of course, I didn't know the first thing about either orthopedics or sports, but I'd studied publication layout and design. Sandra had been my professor, and she'd been so impressed with my work in her class that she'd offered me the internship at the end of the semester.
“Well,” Julia said, flashing me a stunning smile, “I'll be looking forward to working with you.”
And I'll be looking forward to staring at your hot face because oh my God, I thought. I cleared my throat and said aloud, “Yeah, umm, me too.”
I had never been much good at talking to girls. Especially pretty girls.
Especially pretty redheads. Of course, Julia had to be ten or fifteen years older than me, and I had no idea which way she swung. But that didn't mean I couldn't look.
I managed to get through meeting the rest of the office staff without making any more of a fool of myself than I had in front of Julia. Then Sandra and I spent some time going over my job, which for the most part involved reformatting the research papers doctors had submitted to the journal, making sure everything would look good on the page and conformed to the journal's style guides. I also got to spend some time playing with Photoshop, taking x-rays and pictures of surgical procedures and modifying their color balance, resolution, and size so they would look good in print. I fell into an easy rhythm with the work right from the start, though naturally I hit my first stumbling block within the first hour of my work.
I got stuck trying to figure out how to add some of the special characters the doctors used in their charts and graphs. There was no obvious way to enter the Greek characters for sigma or phi into MS Word, and I couldn't seem to figure it out on my own. I didn't really want to be the idiot new girl, begging for help. But I realized that I'd look like more of an idiot if I submitted the project without doing it right. I swallowed my pride and wove my way through the maze of cubicles to find Julia.
I could have gone to Sandra for help. But Julia had seemed friendly. It wasn't just that I wanted another chance to stare at her pretty face.
I stopped just outside of her cubicle when I heard the sound of muffled sobs. I peeked into the cubicle and saw she was on the phone, speaking in a low voice to keep the rest of the office from hearing her.
“Look, just forget it, Jimmy,” she whispered into the phone. She dabbed at her eyes with one of the birthday napkins, wiping away her tears. “I don't even know why I bother anymore. No. No, don't waste your time. I'll take the kids this weekend. Well, they're going to be disappointed. Fine. Don't go acting like you care or anything.”
She hung up the phone and glanced up at me. I pretended like I'd only just walked in, hoping that she wouldn't realize I'd been eavesdropping. “Hey, Brianna,” she said, forcing a smile. “Need something?”
“Yeah, umm...” I pointed a thumb over my shoulder. “This project is being a pain. But I can ask someone else...”
“No, it's okay.” She finished drying her eyes, then got up and followed me back to my cubicle. I didn't ask her who Jimmy was or what the phone call had been about, though I'd gotten enough of the gist of it to make a reasonable guess.
I sat at my desk and showed her what I was having trouble with. She stood behind me and leaned over, pointing to the screen to show me how to navigate through the menus to find what I needed. I had a little trouble concentrating with her standing so close to me. She was wearing a light, flowering perfume, and the way she leaned over her breasts were within inches of my face. I doubted that she knew I was lesbian, considering we'd just met an hour ago. I wondered if she would be uncomfortable standing so close to me if she knew. It was a constant struggle, dealing with those questions around new people.
Straight people thought that coming out was something you did once, then you were done. But the fact of the matter was, unless I decided to wear a t-shirt that said, “Big Honking Lesbian,” I'd probably spend the rest of my life coming out to people. Which meant carefully probing to figure out whether they were liberal or conservative, or whether they were overly religious, or anything else I might need to worry about. And that was aside from the struggle of finding out if a girl I liked was lesbian or straight before I could consider asking her out. I'd had a few awkward encounters in college when I found myself hitting on a beautiful girl, only to have her tell me, “Sorry, I'm straight.”
It just wasn't fair when hot girls were straight. Not fair at all.
Julia helped me fix the computer problem
so quickly that I felt like a total idiot. “Thanks,” I said, a bashful smile on my lips.
“Any time,” she said. She patted my shoulder. “You need anything else, you just let me know.”
I watched her walk out of the cubicle. And yes, I stared at her ass the whole time. I couldn't help it.
It really wasn't fair for her to be so damn hot.
* * *
When I got home that night, my mom was already heating up leftover takeout for dinner. It was always leftovers these days. Dad had been the cook. Now that he was gone, we lived on a diet of pizza, cheesesteaks, and Chinese food. Which sounded good and all, but it got old after the first few months.
“How was your first day?” Mom asked. She set out paper plates and napkins for herself, my brother, and me. One of the advantages of all the takeout was that we had a steady supply of napkins and disposable kitchenware. I hadn't done dishes in weeks.
“It was okay.” I sat down while she dished out some leftover chicken fried rice and day-old rolls. My brother came in and got his plate, then took it back out to the living room so he could keep playing his Xbox.
“Make any friends?” Mom asked.
I rolled my eyes at her. “Mom, come on. It's not like it's my first day of kindergarten. It's a job.
“I know that.” She sat down across from me and laid a napkin across her lap. “But I think it'll be good for you to make some friends at work. I used to go out with the girls from my office all the time. We'd hit the bar for girls night every Friday. It was great.”
She didn't say it aloud, but I knew she was thinking that this had been before she was married. Before she had kids. As far as I could remember, Mom had never gone out for a Friday night girl’s night during my lifetime.
“It'd be good for you,” she said again as she stirred her rice. “You should get out more.”
“I know, Mom.” I sighed, then started eating in silence. Mom was right about me needing to get out more. I hadn't had much time for socializing since Dad died. It had been all I could do to get through school, and even then I'd messed things up. That was why I had to take a summer course to finish getting my degree.
I also hadn't dated in forever. Or, ever, depending on how you looked at it. I'd never been in a real relationship. A few guys had asked me out in high school, and I'd gone on a couple of dates that didn't go anywhere. Then once I got to college and stopped denying my intense attraction to girls, I had fooled around with a few girls here and there. But that hadn't been so much “dating” as it had been going to parties, getting drunk, and hooking up. I'd never experienced anything that would qualify as romance.
“I'll see if anyone is interested in hanging out,” I told Mom. “After I've been there awhile, anyway. I don't want to seem all needy or something.”
“You just be yourself,” Mom said. “That's all you ever need to be.”
I snorted, making a mental note to nominate Mom for the Clichéd Advice of the Year award. Being myself around other girls, around grown women, wasn't that easy. Not when they didn't yet know I was a lesbian, and I had no way of knowing if they'd want to be around me once I found out.
Because let's face it, Friday night girls night meant something very different for a girl like me.
* * *
I worked at the journal for a few weeks before any of my coworkers invited me to go out with them. Julia and a couple of the other girls were heading out for lunch one day, while I was getting ready to microwave some leftover takeout macaroni and cheese that I'd brought with me. Julia flashed me a smile when she saw me and asked, “Hey, Brianna, you want to come with?”
“Come with, where?” I asked. I felt awkward as all hell, standing there with my plastic takeout container.
“Me and the girls are going to Applebee's. You should come.”
I glanced down at my macaroni, then decided that I was sick of takeout. Especially leftover takeout. Hot food, cooked by anyone who wasn't me, sounded like a great idea. Particularly if it would be something freshly cooked. I was pretty sure the takeout place I normally went to used frozen macaroni and just heated it up before serving it.
“Yeah, sounds great,” I said. “Just let me...go grab my purse.”
I hurried back to my cubicle, dropped the macaroni and cheese in the trash, and grabbed my purse. I caught up to Julia, Amy, and Katherine right before they walked out the door. We all took Julia's car down to the restaurant, which was right around the corner. We got a table and everyone ordered something that could be cooked quickly, since we didn't want to be late getting back to the office.
“So, Brianna,” Amy said as we waited for our food. “How are things going so far?”
“Not bad,” I said. “I mean, once you've formatted one medical research report, the rest are pretty much all the same, right?”
Julia laughed. “Yeah, it gets a bit repetitive after a while. But it could be worse.”
I snorted. “My last job was as a fast food cook, so trust me, I know plenty of ways it could be worse.”
We chatted about work for a while as we ate. I started to feel a bit more at ease. I'd worked with these women for a few weeks now, but I hadn't really gotten to know them much before today. Being separated by the bland gray walls of our cubicles didn't help with getting to know each other.
“You should come out with us after work one night,” Katherine said. “There's just one rule. No boyfriends or husbands allowed.
And there it was. I kept my eyes on my food, my stomach twisting in knots. Everyone always made their heteronormative assumptions. It was always boyfriends or husbands. No one even stopped to think that I might have a girlfriend instead.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” Julia asked.
I cleared my throat and looked up at her. “Umm, no. Definitely no boyfriend.”
I tried to figure out if this was a good time to mention that I didn't even swing that way. But the conversation moved on before I got the chance.t
“Well, good,” Amy said. “I mean, not good that you haven't found someone. But I mean, you can come out and have a good time with us girls.”
I doubted she realized that my idea of a “good time” with girls was very different from hers.
Julia gave me a look out of the corner of her eye. I watched her carefully, wondering what she was thinking. She smiled and patted me on my knee, then returned to her meal.
The rest of the day went pretty much like normal. We finished lunch and headed back to work. At the end of the day, as I was wrapping up my work, I overheard Amy and Julia talking in the next cubicle over. I didn't mean to listen in, but Amy's cubicle was right next to mine, and it was hard not to hear.
“He's ditching the kids again?” Amy asked.
“Yup,” Julia said with a sigh. “Second time this month. They're going to be crushed.”
“I will never understand men,” Amy said.
Amen to that, I thought.
“I mean,” Amy continued, “what is wrong with him? He doesn't want to spend time with his own kids? One of these days, he's going to look back on all the things he missed, and he's going to regret it.”
My eyes got a bit misty as I listened in on the conversation. I thought about my own dad. He'd never just up and ditched me, the way Julia's ex-husband apparently did. But ever since he died, I'd felt the void in my life. I knew what it was like to have a dad that wasn't there. It tore me up inside so much. I missed his smile. His laugh. The way he was a shameless flirt. He'd even been flirting with the nurses at the hospital, right up to the end.
I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a dad who was still alive, but knowing that he just didn't want to see you. I felt so bad for Julia's kids.
“Well, I'll have to find a way to make it up to them,” Julia said. “Maybe I can take them out somewhere. They'll still miss their dad, but I can try to make the weekend fun for them, at least.”
“You should do that,” Amy said. “And just forget about Jimmy. He's not worth your tim
e.”
Julia laughed and said, “Sometimes I think I should give up on men all together.”
My ears perked up at that. I knew it was wrong of me, but I couldn't help the thoughts that came into my head. Maybe it was just because I was so lonely after losing my dad. Maybe it was because Julia was so damn hot. But I couldn't stop thinking about whether she really meant she was thinking of changing teams, or if it had just been an expression.
I'd try not to get my hopes up, but the idea certainly had a certain appeal.
* * *
The weeks passed by and I finished up my last summer class. It was nearing the end of summer when Sandra called me into her office. My internship was almost over, so one way or the other, I was going to have to face a major change. I just hoped that Sandra was calling me in for good news.
“Hey, Brianna, have a seat.” She smiled at me and gestured to the chair in front of her desk. I sat down and waited, trying not to be nervous. “You've been doing really good work here. Everyone's been really impressed.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I've really been enjoying myself. This has been a great opportunity.”
“Have you thought about what you're going to do next?” She looked at me appraisingly. “Because if you're interested, we have an opening...”
“Yeah?” I grinned, practically bouncing in my seat. “So, does that mean...?”
“If you want the job, it's yours.”
I clapped my hands and let out an excited hoot. It was just what I'd been hoping for.
We went over the details and Sandra gave me a contract to sign. Then she led me out to announce the news to the rest of the staff. They all told me how happy they were for me. I really felt like I'd found a home here with them.