Surrender to the Past

by Carole Mortimer

  And if Ethan thought it had been easy for her to stay away after she had read about her father’s heart attack in the newspapers, then he was mistaken; if anything that had been more difficult to do than walking away initially.

  Instead she had continued to follow her father’s medical progress in those newspapers, to inwardly ache at the changes she saw in him when he was photographed leaving hospital two weeks after his heart attack. Her father’s hair was iron-grey now, and there were lines on his face that certainly hadn’t been there four and a half years ago. She had been pleased to see he looked slightly less strained and ill when he’d been photographed again four weeks later, boarding a plane on his way to recuperate at his home in the South of France. Although that pleasure had been somewhat diluted by seeing a smiling Grace Burton at his side …

  ‘Could we get back to the reason I came here?’ she prompted testily.

  ‘Which was?’

  ‘To tell you to call off your private security company, for one!’ She began to pace restlessly.

  ‘Already done. Anything else?’

  ‘I want you out of my life. And I want you to stay out!’ Her eyes flashed in warning.

  ‘You seriously think, after all these months of searching, I’m now going to just give up on you because you tell me to?’ Ethan raised his brows in derision.

  ‘Why not? I gave up on all of you years ago!’

  Ethan was well aware of that fact. But there were still so many things that Mia didn’t know about the past. Things that William had made Grace and Ethan promise never to tell her …

  Such as the fact that Kay Burton had been about to leave both her daughter and her husband for a younger man—her tennis coach; how clichéd was that?—on the day of the car accident that had left her so badly injured and then in hospital for months afterwards. Such as the fact that the man Kay had been leaving her family for had decided he was no longer interested in being with a woman—even one as wealthy as Kay Burton would be after her divorce—who was badly scarred and would be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life. That had resulted in William feeling duty-bound to stand by the mother of his heartbroken daughter, even though she had been leaving him for another man and there had no longer been any love between himself and Kay.

  The tennis coach hadn’t completely disappeared from their lives, either …

  The wealthy divorcee Kay no longer being an option, as far as the other man was concerned, he had instead decided to blackmail William in order to keep the truth of her mother’s affair, of Kay’s intention to leave her husband and daughter, from the already traumatised sixteen-year-old Mia. Blackmail that had only come to an end when Kay had killed herself and Mia had disappeared only days after her mother’s funeral.

  Not a pretty story, by any means—and certainly not one that William would have confided in his young daughter while her mother was still alive. And he had adamantly refused to tell Mia after Kay Burton took her own life.

  Putting Ethan in a very precarious position now he had found Mia again. His respect for William dictated that he couldn’t break his promise to the other man and tell Mia the truth—but, having now found her again, spoken with her, Ethan couldn’t just walk away again either.

  Even if he wanted to. Which he didn’t. And not just because of his love for William; this older, self-reliant and more self-confident Mia was even more intriguing than the younger, vulnerable Mia had been …

  He straightened determinedly. ‘I’m not going anywhere, Mia.’

  ‘Pity!’

  ‘Isn’t it?’ he came back insincerely. ‘So, why isn’t there currently a man in your life, Mia?’

  Mia was thrown slightly off-balance by this sudden change of subject. ‘Is there currently a woman in your own life?’ she counter-challenged.

  ‘No,’ he answered.

  Her brows rose. ‘Why not?’

  Ethan gave a rueful shrug. ‘Perhaps I’m a little more … discerning about the women who share my bed than I used to be?’

  ‘You—’

  ‘Arrogant? Overbearing? Pompous?’

  ‘Absolute pig!’ Mia completed forcefully.

  ‘Sticks and stones, Mia,’ Ethan dismissed derisively.

  Mia stared across at him for several long seconds. Ethan was so different from the man she remembered from that first meeting nine years ago, and from when they had dated each other—slept together!—four years later. Both in looks and temperament.

  She would never verbally admit to it, but she found this more mature Ethan slightly intimidating. Ruggedly handsome enough to set any woman’s pulse racing, with a cool arrogance that attracted as much as it challenged. Quite a heady combination, in fact …

  And Mia would be insane to ever allow herself to become attracted to Ethan all over again!

  Her chin rose defiantly. ‘I’m not joking here, Ethan; I want you out of my life.’

  The previous teasing left his face. ‘Disappear like you did, you mean?’

  ‘As long as you stay out of my life I don’t care what you choose to call it.’

  He gave a slow shake of his head. ‘We both know I can’t do that.’

  ‘Of course you can,’ she reasoned impatiently. ‘You just shred those photographs, like you did the written file, and forget you ever saw me.’

  Ethan eyed her impatiently. ‘You really think I can do that?’

  ‘It’s exactly what I intend doing where you’re concerned.’

  His mouth thinned. ‘And what happens if William should have another heart attack? Do I still “forget” that I know exactly where you are? That I ever saw you again?’

  Mia gave a pained frown. ‘There’s no reason to think my father will have another heart attack. Is there …?’ she added uncertainly.

  ‘There’s no reason to think he won’t, either,’ Ethan rasped impatiently.

  She gave an exasperated shake of her head. ‘I’m leaving now, Ethan, and I don’t ever want to see you again.’

  ‘Want all you like, Mia; it isn’t going to happen,’ he came back mildly.

  She gave him one last frustrated glare before turning on her heel and leaving, knowing Ethan well enough to realise he meant exactly what he said.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ‘I THOUGHT I had made my feelings more than clear earlier today about seeing you again, Ethan?’ Mia eyed him impatiently as he stood by the counter, arms crossed in front of his powerful chest, having arrived at Coffee and Cookies a few minutes before closing time, but making no effort to leave when the other customers did so.

  ‘You did, yes,’ he confirmed.

  ‘But you, being you, decided to ignore me?’

  ‘As I told you I would, yes.’ He nodded unapologetically.

  Mia wished that Ethan didn’t look so heart-stoppingly handsome this evening, having taken off his jacket and draped it over one of the chairs to reveal a tight-fitting black polo shirt beneath that defined his muscled chest and arms, and a pair of well-worn denims that fitted snugly in all the right—wrong?—places. He was looking much more like the devastatingly handsome Ethan she had once known so intimately—and loved so completely!

  Mia delayed answering by turning away to pull down the blind on the front window, at the same time willing her pulse to stop racing and her cheeks to cease burning.

  She might have been completely thrown when Ethan turned up at Coffee and Cookies but the impressionable Dee had been delighted; obviously Ethan was just as devastating to the female population as he had always been!

  But not to her, Mia told herself firmly. She was well and truly over Ethan Black. Had been over him for years.

  And wasn’t she protesting just a little too much …?

  Not when it came to Ethan, no! He had always been a force to be reckoned with, but the last five years had added a hard edge only a fool would deliberately choose to ignore. And Mia was no longer a fool.

  ‘I thought the two of us could go out to dinner.’

  Mia turned sharply. �
��What?’

  ‘Dinner. You and me. Together.’

  Her cheeks felt warm. ‘I’m just not getting through to you at all, am I? Let me repeat—I didn’t want to see you again, let alone go out to dinner or anything else with you.’

  ‘Perhaps you should wait until you’re asked for anything else before turning it down?’ he came back tauntingly.

  Her eyed narrowed. ‘You’re really starting to irritate me now, Ethan.’

  ‘Only starting?’ He raised dark brows as he stood, effectively blocking her way, as she tried to move around him to the counter.

  Mia breathed her impatience as Ethan stood tall and impenetrable in front of her. ‘Isn’t there someone else you could go and annoy this evening?’

  ‘No doubt many, many people.’ He nodded slowly, grey eyes looking down at her.

  Mia wasn’t sure she could cope with Ethan in this lighter mood. It reminded her far too forcibly and uncomfortably of how it had once been between them. In another lifetime. Between two other people …

  ‘But I’m having far too much fun irritating you at the moment to want to be anywhere else,’ he assured her dryly.

  She looked up at him. ‘Were you always this annoying, or is it something new?’

  He gave an unconcerned shrug. ‘Considering we virtually lived together for three months, you would no doubt be a better judge of that than me.’

  No doubt …

  Just thinking of that three months when she and Ethan had been together constantly, night as well as day, was enough to cause an ache in Mia’s chest.

  God, how she had loved him! She hadn’t been able to get enough of his company. Or their lovemaking …

  Long, pleasurable hours of just touching, caressing, kissing each other, before coming together in slow and pleasurable strokes until they both reached a climax that left them trembling in each other’s arms. Or those other times, when they had been so hungry for each other they had barely been able to rid themselves of their clothes before falling on each other ravenously, their coupling wild, their orgasms earth-shattering.

  Yes, she had loved Ethan—been in love with him, Mia acknowledged inwardly, but Ethan’s emotions had been nowhere near as engaged. He had been twenty-six years old, very ambitious, and Mia had been a sweet and tasty morsel for him to seduce and devour on his single-minded way to the top. He certainly hadn’t been in love with Mia as she had with him.

  But Mia had not found a single thing about him annoying or irritating …

  She gave a weary shake of her head. ‘It’s been a long day, and I’m too tired to eat, Ethan.’

  He eyed the half a dozen cookies she had left over from today’s sales. ‘Can I try one?’

  ‘Go ahead.’ She nodded uninterestedly.

  He examined the four different flavours on the plate. ‘Which would you recommend?’

  ‘The triple chocolate is always popular.’

  ‘Great. You know—’ He ceased talking as he took a bite of the cookie. ‘Mmm. Wow! This is …’ He took another bite. ‘My God, this is—’ He stopped talking again, eyes closed as he continued to munch on the cookie.

  Mia gave Ethan a rueful glance—and then wished she hadn’t as the expression on his face vividly reminded her of the way he had looked when they had made love together: eyes closed, a slight flush to those hard cheeks, lips so soft and seductive—

  His eyes opened in surprise. ‘This is delicious. Sinfully so,’ he added huskily, his eyes a dark and velvet grey. ‘You weren’t joking when you said you were good at this.’ He polished off the last of the cookie.

  ‘Thank you. That will be a pound,’ she added briskly.

  ‘For one cookie?’

  ‘Haven’t you learnt yet, Ethan, that nothing in life is free?’

  ‘True.’ He placed a pound coin on the counter. ‘Just so that you know I always pay my debts … You are looking a little tired,’ he murmured as he gave her a considering glance. ‘We can stay in and eat if you would prefer it? I’ll cook,’ he added dismissively as the derisive raising of Mia’s brows told him she wasn’t about to offer to cook for him.

  ‘You cook now?’

  It had always been something of a joke between the two of them in the past that Ethan didn’t cook. Not couldn’t—didn’t. Living at the school with his mother meant that he had never had to bother preparing his own meals, and his culinary skills at university had consisted of ready-prepared meals and take-outs.

  Ethan raised challenging brows. ‘Try me.’

  Once again Mia’s heart gave an involuntary leap in her chest. Quickly followed by her imagination running riot as she considered in what way she might like to ‘try’ Ethan!

  Which was utterly ridiculous. She hadn’t meant anything to Ethan five years ago, and she didn’t mean anything to him now except as her father’s runaway daughter. Just as Ethan now meant absolutely nothing to her!

  ‘Come on, Mia, it will be just like old times …’

  He shouldn’t—couldn’t—be allowed to just walk back into her life as if the last five years had never been. As if the pain of once loving him to distraction had never existed.

  Mia’s shoulders straightened with her renewed resolve. ‘I’m going out with friends this evening.’

  Ethan’s mouth thinned. ‘The same friends who lied to your father five years ago and caused him so much added grief?’

  She drew her breath in sharply at the rebuke. ‘At least they were there for me, Ethan.’

  ‘I would have been there for you too, if you had let me,’ he said softly.

  ‘Really? In what way would you have been there for me, Ethan?’ she scoffed with a slow shake of her head. ‘I may have been naively trusting five years ago, but I assure you that’s no longer the case.’

  Ethan eyed her with pent-up frustration. He had always known that finding Mia again and talking to her would only be half the battle. Getting her to trust him again—enough to persuade her into seeing her father—was going to be so much harder to do …

  He gave a rueful grimace. ‘You weren’t naive, Mia, you were beautiful, and totally without affectation.’

  ‘Naive,’ she repeated firmly. ‘But luckily for me I grew up. Certainly enough to have more sense than to ever be attracted to someone like you again!’

  Ethan raised dark brows. ‘Is that the truth, or an invitation for me to prove you wrong …?’

  Her eyes widened. In anger or alarm? Ethan hadn’t learnt to read this more sophisticated and self-confident Mia yet.

  ‘You’ll know when—or if—I ever issue such an invitation, Ethan!’ She glared her indignation.

  Anger, Ethan acknowledged self-derisively. Which was a pity, because he had a feeling he would have very much enjoyed attempting to prove Mia wrong …

  ‘Okay,’ he accepted briskly. ‘So where are we going?’ He picked his jacket up from the back of the chair he had draped it over earlier.

  ‘We aren’t going anywhere,’ Mia answered firmly. ‘You’re leaving to go … wherever, and I’m going out to meet up with friends. Alone.’

  Ethan folded his arms in front of his chest. ‘I don’t think so, Mia.’

  A frown appeared between Mia’s clear green eyes. ‘What do you mean …?’

  He shrugged broad shoulders. ‘I mean that now I’ve found you again I have no intention of your doing another disappearing act as soon as my back is turned.’

  ‘As you are well aware, I now have a business to run— which means I’m not free to just up and go anywhere any more.’

  He gave a confident smile. ‘Which is how I know exactly where you will be, Tuesday to Friday from ten o’clock in the morning until seven o’clock at night, and ten o’clock until five on Saturdays.’

  Mia gave him a scathing glance. ‘No doubt that was in the report supplied by your private security company!’

  ‘No doubt.’

  ‘What else did it tell you about me, Ethan?’ Her voice was deceptively soft; Mia absolutely hated the fact that Ethan h
ad not only found her but had actually had her investigated as well as photographed.

  He gave another shrug. ‘We’ve already covered the personal stuff,’ he dismissed. ‘Business-wise you’re in profit, and have been for some time. You don’t rent or lease this building, but bought it outright three years ago—obviously from the trust fund left to you by your maternal grandmother. You also supply boxes of Mia’s Cookies on a regular basis to a number of reputable speciality shops in the city.’

  ‘That’s enough,’ Mia instructed shakily as Ethan casually broke her life down to a series of unemotional statements. ‘Not having been given a similar file on you, I’m obviously at something of a disadvantage.’ She met his gaze challengingly.

  Ethan relaxed back against the counter. ‘What do you want to know?’

  ‘Everything there is to know,’ she said firmly.

  Much as Mia might wish to deny it—to wish it wasn’t true—on a physical level she was very aware of Ethan. Of the slight dampness to his hair from the shower he had probably taken before coming here. Of the way he smelt of soap and an elusively spicy aftershave. Of the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled, and how they became like shards of pale grey ice when he was angry or displeased. Of how the broad width of his shoulders and washboard flatness of his muscled chest and abdomen were clearly revealed in the black polo shirt, the muscles in his arms bulging as he continued to cross them in front of his chest. Of the way the snug fit of those jeans emphasised the leanness of his hips and the long length of his legs …

  Mia had dated several men over the last few years—nice, pleasant men who posed no threat whatsoever to the even tenor of her life, let alone her heart; Ethan Black had always posed a threat to both those things. Just looking at him now, being with him again, told her that he still did …

  Ethan watched through narrowed lids as the emotions flickered across the beauty of her ivory and cream face: angry challenge, frustration, followed by uncertainty. It was that last emotion that intrigued him the most.