Light This Candle (Harlequin More Than Words)

by Cindy Dees

  “Cody, baby. You need to let the nurse hook up the portable oxygen system.”

  “No! I want Mitch! I have to talk to him!”

  The lead doctor interrupted. “Is this Mitch close by?”

  “I don’t know. I suppose so,” Cassidy answered reluctantly. She saw where this was going.

  “Then get him over here. The more upset Cody gets, the more unstable his heart rate will become. If he crashes now, we can forget going ahead with the transplant.”

  Cassidy stared at the man in horror. Cody could lose his shot at a new heart? She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Mitch’s number. Truth be told, she was grateful for the excuse to talk to him again. She’d had no idea how they were going to get past last night’s impasse, but she desperately wanted to put it behind them.

  “Hi, Cassidy,” he said pleasantly enough. “How’s Cody?”

  “Mitch, I’m really sorry to bug you, but I have a huge favor to ask.”

  “Anything. It’s yours,” he answered promptly.

  He sounded as if he seriously meant that. Even after she’d been such a witch to him last night? Wow. “Cody’s throwing a giant tantrum and insists on seeing you before they fly him up to Columbus. Could you come over to the hospital in, like the next few minutes, to calm him down?”

  “I’m on my way.”

  “Thanks so much.”

  “Any news on the donor heart?”

  “They say expiration is imminent. Within a few hours.” It hurt to talk about another child’s impending death, but if Cody lived because of it, maybe some good could come of the tragedy.

  “Okay, Cassie. I’m in heavy traffic, so I’d better hang up. Tell Cody I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  “Thanks again, Mitch.”

  “You’re welcome, darlin’.”

  She stared at her cell phone as the connection went dead. He’d called her darling? What did it mean? Or was it just a casual endearment? Except he’d never called her that before—

  She had no time to ponder the question because Cody demanded, “What did he say? Is he coming?”

  “Yes, he’s coming. He said to tell you he’ll be here in five minutes. Will you let the nurse change over your oxygen now?”

  “Yes, Mommy.” And just like that, the monster child turned into a model of perfect cooperation. Little stinker, she thought affectionately. He and Mitch were two peas in a pod. They knew what they wanted, and they didn’t give up until they got it.

  Mitch’s declaration from last night echoed in her head. I am the military. He was right, of course, Military careers didn’t get left at the office at quitting time. It was a way of life, not just a job. But did she want him, military and all? Could she love another man whose life belonged first to his country and only second to his family? The notion made her almost sick with fear.

  Thankfully, the last-minute preparations for Cody’s flight to Columbus distracted her. At last he was ready to go. Now they just had to wait for the helicopter—and Mitch—to get here.

  She felt his presence in the ICU before she saw him. She looked up sharply when she heard the elevator opening outside and was startled to realize she was smiling. Mitch appeared in the doorway, as handsome as usual, and her heart flip-flopped.

  He strode into Cody’s room, and her son’s face lit up with a broad smile. He’s as besotted with Mitch as I am.

  “Hey, buddy. I hear you get to take a helicopter ride. Are you excited?”

  “I’m kinda scared,” Cody confessed.

  Mitch grinned reassuringly. “They’re really cool. Your daddy and I rode in them all the time. They make you talk funny...like this.” Mitch pounded his chest rapidly as he spoke, making his voice wobble.

  Cody smiled. Cassidy’s heart expanded at the sight. She was scared to death of what would happen in the next few hours—they were going to remove her son’s heart from his body, for crying out loud—and here he was, grinning happily. She might attribute his lack of concern to the ignorance of youth, but Cody was a smart cookie, and he knew full well what was about to happen to him.

  Mitch sat down on the edge of her son’s bed, perched beside the various tubes and wires. “So, Cody. I hear you wanted to talk with me before you left. Anything in particular on your mind, son?”

  Cassidy sucked in a sharp breath as the word son fell from Mitch’s lips. It sounded so good it hurt. Cody’s face abruptly went serious. “It’s important.”

  Mitch nodded, matching the boy’s serious expression. “I’m listening.”

  “I had a dream last night. I saw my daddy, and he’s an angel. He said he would be waiting for me if I come to heaven to be with him.”

  Cassidy’s hand went to her mouth and tears leaped to her eyes. How Mitch was maintaining his composure, she had no idea.

  He reached out to push the hair off Cody’s forehead. “Your daddy loves you very much. As much as your mommy and I do.”

  She stared at him, shocked and hopeful. He loved Cody? Really? Or was he just saying that to comfort a scared kid on his way to a dangerous operation?

  “That’s what I have to talk to you about,” Cody continued. “My daddy said you are an angel, too. And he sent you to watch after Mommy and me. If I go to heaven, you have to promise to look out for Mommy.”

  Cassidy pulled in a sobbing breath. Cody had to make it through the transplant. She couldn’t live without him.

  “Of course. I promise, Cody.”

  “Pinkie swear?”

  Mitch hooked his big finger in Cody’s tiny, frail one. “My most solemn pinkie swear.”

  Cody nodded. “Okay, then. I’m ready.”

  One of the nurses stepped forward. “The helicopter’s on final approach to the landing pad upstairs. If you’re ready, Mrs. Frazier, we’ll take you and Cody up top.”

  Cassidy nodded. Here went nothing. Cody would either die on the operating table or come out of the surgery with a new heart.

  It was as if Mitch read her mind. Strong arms went around her and she was crushed against a big, warm chest.

  He whispered against her temple, “Everything will turn out fine. I’ll drive up to Columbus to join you. I should be there in a couple of hours, max. You’ll be okay until I get there?”

  She nodded, too choked up to speak. He hadn’t abandoned her and Cody after all.

  “I’ll be there for you as long as you’ll have me,” he murmured.

  And then he was gone. The transport team whisked in to wheel Cody and a host of machines and monitors out of the room. Someone took her by the arm and guided her into the hall. The next few minutes were a flurry of activity as they relocated to the roof and got Cody and her situated in the sleek, powerful helicopter that would be taking them to Columbus.

  It wasn’t until she was strapped into her seat and the bird had lifted off into the afternoon sky that she had a second to think. Had she heard him correctly? As long as she would have him? What if that turned out to be a long time? A very long time, like, oh, forever?

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Mitch was normally a conservative driver, but his speed kept creeping up as he headed east toward Cassidy and Cody. He couldn’t bring himself to pray for another child’s speedy death, but he did pray for peace and healing for a family in the midst of a terrible tragedy. And he prayed hard for Cody to be strong and make it through the surgery.

  Now that he was crazy about a child himself, he had a deeper appreciation of what the family in Columbus was going through. He also had a powerful appreciation of the gift of life that this organ donation represented. The courage and generosity of one family was giving the greatest gift of all to another.

  He hoped that someday the donor family could meet Cassidy and Cody. He’d bet Cassidy would have some powerful words of thanks for them. Goodness knew, he would if he ever got a chance to meet them.

  He guided his truck to the Ohio State University Hospital in the middle of the sprawling university campus. He navigated the huge facility and found the Intensive C
are Unit. The staff was stubborn about not admitting him, and the heated discussion was threatening to turn into a full-blown argument until Cassidy poked her head out of a room and snapped, “He’s family. Give him a badge.”

  He grinned at her and a tiny smile cracked her face. He recognized that grim, determined expression she wore. His troops got it just before they went into combat. They called it their game face. She definitely had hers on.

  He clipped on his badge and headed into the room. He was surprised to see that Cody was asleep. “How are we doing?” he asked Cassidy.

  “The other child’s gone.” Her voice cracked on the last word and he gave her a hard, fast hug, not of celebration, but of shared grief. She continued more steadily, “They’re prepping Cody and have started anesthesia. Because of how fragile his heart is, they have to sedate him slowly.”

  “He’s a tough kid,” he murmured, putting an arm around her shoulders. “Have faith in him and his doctors, okay? They’re all fighters.” She leaned into him and he absorbed her worry as best he could.

  She said quietly, “Things will start happening fast. The doctors went over the whole surgical procedure with me a few weeks ago. It’ll take hours once they get Cody into the operating room, though.”

  The two of them stood there together, looking down at the precious little boy in silence. Cody looked like a dark-haired angel in his sleep.

  A man in surgical scrubs, right down to cloth booties, stepped into the room. “It’s time.”

  Cassidy leaned down to kiss her son’s forehead and whisper something to him. When she straightened, Mitch took a shaky breath.

  The man smiled and said, “Cody and I will see you in recovery. This is going to take a while, so don’t watch the clock too much.”

  The surgical team wheeled Cody out, and Mitch’s last glimpse was of Cody’s pinkie finger, curled in the white sheets as if to remind Mitch of his promise.

  Cassidy broke down completely as soon as Cody was gone, sobbing inconsolably. He wasn’t ashamed to cry with her. It was the scariest thing he’d ever done, turning Cody over to a team of strangers like that. He guided Cassidy down the hall to a small, private waiting room and gathered her against his side. They clung to each other and cried together for a long time.

  He fully understood her need to let go of her hard-won control. She’d been strong for so long. And now her long battle was over, one way or the other.

  It was the most wrenching moment of Mitch’s life, and he suspected Cassidy would describe it the same way. All their defenses were down and nothing was left in either of them but raw emotion. He supposed it was entirely natural that they should share their grief like this and find solace in one another’s suffering.

  Still, it was the most intimate and personal experience he’d ever shared with another human being. If he’d had any questions before about just how deep his feelings ran for Cassidy and Cody, they were pretty much answered. The two had found their way to the very bottom of his heart and lodged there.

  Eventually Cassidy cried herself out. Mitch wiped her face gently with his handkerchief.

  “You carry one of those?” she asked in surprise. “I thought men didn’t bother with hankies anymore.”

  “They do when they know they’re going to be around an emotional woman.”

  “I’m that, all right.”

  He smiled gently at her. “You’re authorized in this situation.”

  “Mitch, we need to talk.”

  “Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

  “About that promise Cody extracted from you to look after me. It was sweet of you to make it to him, and goodness knows, he needed to calm down. But I won’t hold you to it.”

  “But it was a solemn pinkie swear.”

  “Seriously, Mitch—”

  “Seriously. I meant every word of what I said to Cody. And what I said to you...after.”

  She stared at him, looking completely flummoxed. “I don’t understand.”

  “What part of ‘I’ll be there for you as long as you’ll have me’ don’t you understand?” he asked reasonably.

  “Do you realize what you’re saying? What if I want you around for a really long time?”

  Joy leaped in his chest. “That would be fine,” he answered much more calmly than he felt.

  “But we’ve only known each other a few weeks. And I haven’t exactly been at my best around you.”

  He shrugged. “I’ve been asking myself the very same thing about how this could have happened so fast. But the fact remains that I do care for you. You and Cody. Deeply. It’s as if I’ve been waiting for the two of you to come into my life forever. Now that you’re here, I’m not about to question the how or why of it.”

  Her eyes shone with equal parts hope and fear, as if she was terrified to believe him.

  He added, “Who knows? Maybe Cody’s right. Maybe Jimmy sent me to take care of you two. He was a pretty generous guy, and I know he loved you two with all his heart. He’d want you to be happy.”

  Cassidy stared at Mitch, hope warring with caution in her chest.

  “Happy?” she said. “I’d almost forgotten what that was like. And then you blew into our lives like a hurricane.” She fell silent until she realized Mitch was staring at her expectantly.

  “And?” he asked cautiously.

  She threw up her hands with a little laugh. “Has anybody ever told you that you’re impossible to resist? I suppose you always get your way, don’t you?”

  He grinned. “Always.”

  “What am I going to do with you?”

  “Take me up on that long-term-offer thing.”

  Her jaw sagged. “Are you...do you mean to say you’d consider...exactly wh-what are you saying?” she stammered.

  He spoke slowly, as if he was thinking out loud. “‘Now or never’ seems to be the theme tonight. If you can risk everything to give your son a shot at life, then I suppose I can take a big risk, too.” He took a deep breath. “So here goes. Marry me, Cassidy. Give Cody a bunch of brothers and sisters, and let me make sure you never again forget what happiness is.”

  “Marry—are you crazy? We’ve known each other a few weeks.”

  “Tell me you don’t already know I’m the one Jimmy sent for you. Marry me.”

  She stared at him in frustration. And hope. Was he right? She had to admit, the past few weeks had been full of angels. First the Patches of Light rescue—even if it had been engineered by Mitch and Rose—and then Mitch himself. And now a new heart for Cody. It was all pretty overwhelming.

  “Can I wait to answer you until after Cody’s out of surgery?” she asked in a small voice.

  “Of course. But understand that even if the worst should happen, my proposal stands.”

  The terror she’d held at bay for the past few minutes crashed back in on her full force.

  “Breathe, baby. Take it one minute at a time. One breath at a time if you need to.”

  How was it he always knew exactly what she needed? Exactly what to say to her? Was he already so in tune with her? Maybe he really was an angel sent by heaven or Jimmy or both.

  * * *

  The long hours of Cody’s surgery crawled by at a maddeningly slow pace for Mitch. He went down to the gift shop and bought a scented candle. Back in the waiting room he lit it, and Cassidy smiled softly at him. She remembered her birthday candle and got his silent message.

  Have hope.

  About once an hour, a surgical nurse came out to report that everything was going well. But that was it. According to Cassidy, the crucial transfer of the new heart would happen late in the long procedure.

  She stared unseeing at the television and paced by turns. At one point she paged through a magazine, which he smiled to see was upside down. About halfway through it, she grinned ruefully and turned it around.

  He’d been in some difficult situations in his life. Had been outnumbered by enemy forces, waiting for an attack or ambush. But he’d never done anything half as hard a
s waiting out Cody’s heart transplant.

  At some point a hospital volunteer brought them sandwiches. But neither he nor Cassidy choked down more than a few bites. And then it was back to waiting. It grew dark outside as the surgery stretched into the evening. Still the little candle burned, its bright light steady and unwavering. Despite the anesthesiologist’s admonition not to watch the clock, Mitch couldn’t help doing exactly that.

  Six hours became seven. And seven became eight.

  Cassidy began to panic. She wrung her hands until they were bright red, and she became more and more agitated. Finally he grabbed her hands to rescue them and pulled her into his arms. “It’s in God’s hands now, Cassidy,” he said gently.

  She dissolved into quiet tears that brought him to the verge of tears, too.

  “Hey,” he choked out. “Don’t forget Cody’s got his own personal angel. Jimmy’s looking out for him.”

  “I’ve been telling myself that over and over.” She hiccuped. “But the surgery should be finished by now. They said it would take six to eight hours.”

  “Well, we’re still in the eighth hour. Be strong, baby. Just a little while longer.” As much as he wanted to take this burden away from her, there was nothing he could do. He hated feeling helpless, and he could only imagine how much more helpless she felt.

  They sat there in the waiting room holding each other, drawing strength from one another, which was ironic given that neither of them had any strength left to give themselves.

  Then, at long last, the door behind Cassidy opened. Mitch looked up sharply. It wasn’t a nurse this time. It was a surgeon.

  * * *

  Cassidy jumped to her feet the moment Mitch stiffened against her. Panic slammed into her. This was it.

  “Is he alive?” she cried, unable to contain herself. “Did he make it?”

  “He came through surgery like a champ, Mrs. Frazier. Your son’s quite a little fighter.”

  Her legs collapsed right then and there. Had it not been for Mitch catching her and scooping her up in his arms, she’d have fallen in a heap on the floor. If she thought she’d cried hard before, it was nothing in the face of her tears now. She sobbed against Mitch’s neck, racked by gratitude and relief.