by ERIN BEDFORD
He couldn’t have been older than five or six. His face was covered in dirt but there were trails of white running down his cheek from his tears. His hands pressed down on the ears on his head, that even in the dim light were distinctly stripped. A tail was tucked between his legs and his body was shaking in its place.
“Chess?”
My voice caused the child to look up from where he was trying to ball himself into the corner. Bright green eyes full of fear and despair looked back at me without a hint of recognition.
“Go away!” he yelled, his hands up as if to ward me off. “Leave me alone.”
My foot paused mid-air, not sure what my course of action should be. He didn’t seem to know who I was, and his appearance proved there was more than simple magic at play.
“Hey.” I knelt down on the ground and scooted toward him, trying to seem as harmless as possible. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m here to help you.”
“No, you aren’t! You aren’t real. You’re just a trick to mess with my mind.” He shoved his hands back over his ears; the voices grew louder as if to drown out my words. “You aren’t real. You aren’t real,” he muttered over and over to himself while rocking in the corner.
My heart broke for him. Was this what the Bandersnatch was? Instead of physically torturing you it played on your fears and ate at you until you went insane. I’d rather have had a bullet to the brain.
When I reached his side, I placed a hand on his head. He yelped and flinched away from me, his head shooting up to look at me with terror in his eyes.
“Please don’t hurt me. I’ll be good. I promise!” his words broke as he began to cry again, and I couldn’t stand it anymore.
I wrapped my arm around him drawing him in against me. He struggled against my hold for a moment and then seemed to relax into my embrace. I let him cry and rocked him, making soothing noises in the back of my throat. The entire time the voices around us roared up into a deafening scream.
Getting a headache and quite literally fed up, I pulled on my magic until it warmed me. Chess stiffened in my embrace but didn’t pull away. When I built enough energy up, I turned my head toward the floating heads.
“Silence!” my voice echoed through the darkness, and the power behind it quieted their voices. The heads just floated there now, not making a sound. “Don’t you have something else to do besides torture a poor child?”
The heads actually exchanged a look before one of them, an older gentleman, opened his mouth to say, “No. Not really. It’s our job.” He seemed to shrug, though he had no shoulders. “And that is no more a child than you are, that is just what is left of the sinner.”
“What are you?” I asked, pulling Chess closer to me when a few of them leered down at him. I didn’t care if he wasn’t a child, they had reverted him back to his child form and that was good enough for me.
There was always something worse about torturing a child. Like some kind of internal instinct that made you want to protect them. Of course, this child had been naked and rolling around in my sheets with me a week ago, and had quite thoroughly broken my heart, but that didn’t make it any better.
“We are the Bandersnatch,” the leader of the heads explained. “We serve justice to those who have sinned. And this child, as you so see him as, has sinned oh so very much.” A delighted shrill filled his voice. “There is so much wickedness there we are almost full up on it. Not that we could ever be full.” He shared a chuckle with his fellow floating heads.
I stared down at the child in my arms. Wicked? Chess was a lot of things. Womanizer. Liar. Cheat. But wicked? I didn’t think so. I would know if I loved someone that evil. Wouldn’t I?
Turning back to the heads, I asked, “Then why not let him go? You have had your fill. There is no reason to keep him here any longer.”
“Ah,” another one of the heads, a young woman spoke up this time. “But we can’t, you see. The queen gave him to us to punish and we must punish, we must.”
The way her eyes zeroed in on Chess had me pulling him so tightly to my chest that he squeaked. Loosening my grip on him, I focused on the leader. “It was the queen who sent me here to retrieve him. He was wrongfully imprisoned and must now be set free.”
A gasp from the heads filled the room, and then they were talking at once. The air in the room became thicker as the heads bobbed back and forth, each trying to speak over the other.
“Quiet!” the leader called out, causing the other heads to abruptly pause. His dark eyes locked onto me, and it took all I had not to gulp at the intensity of his gaze. “There has never been a case where we have been wrong. He is evil and was given to us, thus we will not let him go. Queen or not.”
“So you would defy your queen?” I asked a cautious edge to my voice. I didn’t know what they would do if I kept pressing them, but I wasn’t about to just leave Chess here now that I had him.
“What will she do? Punish us?” the heads shared a laugh before the leader’s face sobered, this time when he spoke his voice shook the space, and I felt his words down to my bones, “We are the Bandersnatch, the thing of nightmares. Your fear is our food and no one —not even a queen, can stop us.”
Chess whimpered and buried his head further into my chest. As always, my mind immediately went to an inappropriate place, and I found that if he had been in full form we would be in quite a compromising position. The sounds of his distress made me chide my own thoughts. Child or not, he still had a child-like mentality, and I shouldn’t be thinking such things. The Bandersnatch, on the other hand, was messing with the wrong girl.
“You may be the thing of nightmares but you don’t scare me.” I stood from the ground, bringing Chess up with me. His small hands clung to my leg and his tail came out from between his thighs to wrap around my calf.
The laugh that came from the heads caused Chess and me to cringe. It was dark and full of power. The sound of it seemed to ignite something in the room, causing the scene around us to change. We were no longer in the complete darkness but in the Mushroom City, and standing before me was the blackened mirror leading to the Shadow’s Between.
“We have touched your mind and know what you fear.” The leader circled around us, his cronies following his lead.
This was their big power? Using glamours was something I knew about and the scene before me was a shit job at one if I had ever seen it. A scoff came out of me before I could think about it.
“You laugh?” he shouted his face turning a reddish purple. “We have brought you to the source of your fear and instead of quivering in terror you laugh, why?”
“First off,” I gestured around the area, trying to keep my smile to a minimum, “You suck at glamours. A four-year-old could change the scenery easily. Secondly,” I held up two fingers, “Come on, really? Out of all the things I’m afraid of you pick this?”
A giggle came from the feline wrapped around my thigh, his tiny face looked up to me with a small smile. Good. At least, he wasn’t crying anymore. I placed my hand on his head, smoothing the hair between his ears and returning his grin with one of my own.
Chess’ laughter must have really pissed the heads off, because they began to spin faster and faster around us. Their voices came out in unison, “We will teach you the meaning of fear, girl!”
Instead of being smart and preparing for their attack, I yelled back, “Give me your best shot!”
The Mushroom City melted away and in its place was a white empty room. The sudden change of lighting made my eyes hurt, and I squinted until they adjusted. The heads were no longer in sight, their voices were gone and the air lighter than before.
“Are they gone?” Chess let go of my leg, but he kept a hand on the edge of my clothing.
I waited, my eyes searching the room. They wouldn’t have left so suddenly for no reason. It had to be a trick of some kind.
After a moment or so with nothing happening, I reached down and grasped Chess’ hand in mine.
“Keep close to me, and no matter what happens, don’t let go of my hand.” With a nod of his head, he tightened his grip on my hand.
The room was empty of any furniture or windows but there was a door. One dark red door stood out against the white walls. Well, if that wasn’t ominous then I didn’t know what was.
They wanted us to go through the door. They expected it. I hated doing what was expected of me, but at the moment, I didn’t really have much of a choice.
Taking a deep breath, I let it out and glanced down at Chess. “Ready? Then let’s get the hell out of here.”
We made our way across the white room and toward the red door. Each step we took was harder than the last. The door seemed to pulsate in its frame. It bulged out toward us like it was a living, breathing thing. A whimper came from Chess, and I was jerked back as he stopped.
“What is it?” the pure terror on his face caused my insides to ache.
“I don’t want to go.” His voice was tiny and his words shook.
I had the sudden urge to pull him into my arms again and never let go. God forbid he asked anything of me in this form. A child form of Chess was a hard thing to say no to. It made me wonder if our children would look just as adorable.
Our children? I started. Where the hell did that come from? He didn’t even want to be my boyfriend, what made me think he would want to have children with me?
The frown that had formed on my face must have seemed angry, because Chess began to back away from the door and me. I held my hands up and slowly approached him.
“No, no. Hey. It’s okay. I’m not mad.” I reached out to him and dropped to one knee. “I was just thinking of something unpleasant. It’s all right.”
He hesitated, his eyes on my hand and then to the breathing door behind us. Visibly swallowing, he seemed to decide that I was the lesser of two evils and came back to my side. His hand firmly clasped in mine, he let me lead him back to the door and hopefully to our way out.
Before I could place a hand on the doorknob, the door blasted open, throwing us back a few paces. Getting up from the ground, I grabbed Chess and pushed him behind me, my attention primarily on the open doorway. Then the smoke started.
Black, wispy trundles slowly built into a large billowing cloud that covered the surface of the room. No. Not yet. Not now. I wasn’t ready. Fear started in my belly, making its way up my throat and choking me as I fell to my knees. Chess held onto me, crying and shaking me as if it would snap me out of it.
I knew that smoke, what lived inside of it. Avoiding it had been a pass time for me that was so familiar when the time came to come face to face to the being behind it I wasn’t sure I would be able to stand up to it let alone beat it.
Nothing followed the smoke, and I realized something, it wasn’t real. Just like the Mushroom City, it was just an illusion. The real Shadows were with Dorian, doing God knows what, and wouldn’t waste their time with theatrics such as this.
Suddenly, I could breathe again. The fear dissipated and, with it, the smoke. I brought myself to my feet and took a deep breath in.
“Sorry about that.” I gave a weak smile to Chess before picking him up into my arms. No more playing around. It was time to get out of here and nothing else was going to stop me, least of all a Goddamn illusion.
With a newfound determination, I crossed the room and didn’t stop until I was out the door and into the dark. Unlike before though, I had a plan.
I snapped my fingers and called up my magic, the sound echoed in the dark. A ball of light that grew bigger and bigger lit up the area, showing us the mirror entrance not even ten feet away. Of course, as soon as we made our way toward the mirror, the heads reappeared.
“What do you think you are doing?”
“You should be paralyzed with fear, not escaping.”
“Get back here!”
The heads screamed out at us, causing Chess to tense in my arms, but I ignored them. Let them bitch and moan. My eyes were all for the mirror, and I wasn’t stopping for anyone or anything.
Just as I reached the mirror, one of them asked, “What are you?”
This time answered but didn’t stop as a confident smile spread over my face. “The one who will save us all, even your sorry asses.” With those parting words, I shoved Chess and me through the tar-like substance and we fell out the other side. We landed at the feet of a waiting Alice.
Chapter 11
Can We Keep Him?
ALICE WAS STANDING in the middle of the queen’s room, her hands on her hips and an impatient frown on her face. There were no guards in sight, and my mother was mysteriously gone as well.
“Where is everybody?” I set Chess on the ground, but he stayed latched onto my pant leg, his gaze unwavering as he took in Alice’s form.
“I was in the library with the guards where we were having a good old time playing guess which guard was real. Come to find out that guards aren’t very talented in seeing through a glamour.” She smiled at the memory, and then frowned, and shrugged. “Then a servant came running in, screaming about some monster bird at the palace gates. They went rushing out, not paying me any mind. So I came up here. Your mother wasn’t in here, but who could blame her, look at this décor.” She glanced around the room and made a face.
“Oh.” What else was I supposed to say? Lucky us, a disaster had come just in the nick of time? Though, more than likely it was our fault there was an emergency in the first place. A monster bird? Sounded like the JubJub to me.
“Who’s that?” Alice pointed down to the child fastened to my leg and then her face brightened. “Oh my goodness. That’s not, is it?”
I nodded my head and bent down to pry Chess off me. “Yep. We seem to have a situation on our hands.”
“But he’s so cute!” she squealed, clapping her hands together before kneeling on the floor next to us.
Chess stared at her for a moment, and then gave me a questioning look over his shoulder. I made a motion with my hand, urging him forward. That seemed to be all he needed before he ran into Alice’s open arms. What do you know? He was a ladies man even at this age.
I watched as Alice cooed and cuddled with the feline, a small smile on my face. He was just too adorable, and he had such innocence to him. It was tempting to keep him this way forever. But I couldn’t. I hadn’t been lying when I told my mother that I needed him, I did. Not just because I felt I was guilty he got taken because of me, but he really was the only chance we had if something happened to me. I couldn’t go up against the Shadows without a backup plan, and he was it.
“Not that he isn’t the cutest thing I have ever seen,” Alice started, holding Chess in her lap, “But how did this happen?”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “From what I understand when the Bandersnatch feeds off your fear they reduce you backwards in time. This,” I gestured toward the feline, “Is all that was left of him when I got there.”
“Oh you poor thing!” Alice cried out, pulling him tightly against her chest. “How horrible it must have been for you and to torture a child?” she shook her head in disgust.
“Yes, we have already established that, any ideas how to change him back?”
“Change me back?” Chess poked his head up from Alice’s embrace. “To what?”
The question was so endearing; I seriously had to force myself not to start baby talking to him. I could tell by the look on Alice’s face that she was having the same issue.
“Do we have to change him back? I mean, can’t we just leave him the way he is? Then he can have another chance at a good childhood!” Her eyes lit up and she glanced down at Chess with a smile. “Would you like that, little one? Do you want to come home with Mama Alice?”
Before Chess could answer, I jumped in, “No. Absolutely not.”
“Why not?” she pouted, giving me her best puppy dog eyes. “It would be so fun.”
“Fun?” I gaped. “Not only is it wrong, but where
are you planning on raising him? At my house? I don’t think so.” I shook my head at her.
“Don’t you want to give him the childhood he never had? Then maybe he wouldn’t have grown up to become such a rake.” She petted a hand down his dirty pink hair, her face softening with her words.
It wasn’t like I didn’t want Chess to have better memories. God knew he needed them. But I couldn’t imagine having him living in my home the way he was now. It wasn’t just wrong. It was creepy.
Every time I saw him I would remember what he used to look like and then how we almost were together. Also, what was I going to do once he grew up? I didn’t want to see him go through puberty and start dating girls. It was hard enough even thinking about him after what happened between us. No. There was no way it would work. We had to change him back.
“We can’t, Alice. We need him at full strength. And while this age might seem appealing.” I held my hand out to him, my heart leapt when he jumped from Alice’s arms to take my hand. “It wouldn’t be right of us to just leave him this way without his say in it. And, you don’t even know who we are do you, little guy?” In a moment of weakness, I rubbed my nose against his causing him to giggle.
“Why doesn’t he remember anything?” Alice approached us, her face sobering.
“I’m assuming it is because he’s a child again, and at this age, he didn’t know either of us.” I shrugged and then turned my attention back to the child in my arms. “By the way, I’m Kat and this is Alice.”
Chess peered up at us through lowered lashes, suddenly seeming shy as he muttered.
“What?” I arched my ear down to him.
“I said it’s nice to meet you!” he shouted it out, and then covered his mouth, his face turning beet red. “Opps.”
“It’s all right. It’s nice to meet you too… again.” I ended awkwardly and then looked to Alice. “So, any ideas?”
Alice thought about it for a moment, placing a hand on her face as she looked up to the ceiling. “Well…why don’t you ask Seer? She usually seems to know what is going on. Maybe she can help?”