Best (Change Series Book 3)

by Melanie Jayne

  I swallowed hard, because my throat was suddenly dry. Although I now used my dad’s middle name as my last name, and I used Billie rather than Bilan, which I was born with—a name I’d always hated because my mother had wanted to impress the lead actress of The Tides whose character had that name—my past couldn’t be all that hard for professionals to divine. Still, I hated the thought that they might know. I glanced from Zoe to Layla. “Thank you for everything.”

  I could tell by their easy smiles they knew nothing about my past.

  Then Tye cleared his throat. “Come on, Layla. Let’s get you home before Forde starts blowing up my phone.” He led her toward the door.

  We watched them go.

  “She’s nice,” I told the Alessis.

  “We all are,” Zoe amended my statement. Then she wrinkled her nose. “Except for Holly.”

  “So how drunk are you?’ Tony asked his wife as he motioned for us to head to the exit.

  “Too drunk to chat with your family, but not drunk enough to turn down sex.” Zoe stated.

  He grunted. “Good answer.”

  “Seriously, I had two drinks. That was before I ate.” Zoe winked at her husband. “But when we get home, I’m going to act my ass off, so that I don’t have to deal with your sister and her lectures.”

  At the door, Tony told Zoe to wait, and he lightly placed two fingers on my elbow and asked, “Which way?”

  I pointed with my other hand.

  It was darker than I’d expected. The lot lights didn’t provide much illumination.

  “Thank you for doing this,” I said as we stepped out.

  “It’s the right thing to do.”

  As we neared my car, suddenly, the headlights from the car parked next to mine turned on. Blinded, I felt my body go rigid with panic.

  No, no, no. Not here, not now. I drew in a sharp breath while counting to seven. I didn’t realize I’d stopped moving until I felt Tony’s hand on my arm.

  “Easy,” his voice rumbled softly near my ear. “Take slow, easy breaths. Now, Billie, let’s move out of the way. Walk with me, nice and slow. Let me help you, okay?”

  I felt the gentle tug on my forearm and followed him like a lamb. I tried to pull myself together, but my mind raced. Oh God, I freaked in front of my new friends. No, no, no. Not Now.

  “Easy, Billie,” he said softly. “Breathe with me, darlin’. In, five, four, three, two, one, and let it out. Now, in.” Tony led me through the calming exercises I practiced.

  I had no idea how many times we repeated them until my brain kicked in. Tony still held my arm, and his large body shielded mine like a protective cocoon. I was freezing and shaking, and the worst part was I was also sweating. The back of my dress was sticking to my body, and I could feel the sweat running down my spine.

  “I’m so...” I had to swallow and take in a few breaths. “I’m sorry. I, uh…” I didn’t know how to start to explain what had just happened, although since he’d known exactly how to help calm me, I knew without a shadow of a doubt I didn’t need to try.

  “Billie, don’t worry. Okay, just keep breathing.”

  I looked up at him but didn’t see any judgment for my over-the-top reaction. That helped. We continued standing, frozen to the spot next to my car. Tony acted as if there was nothing strange about what was going on with me. When the worst had passed, I disentangled my arm gently and smoothed my palms down my hips and thighs. “Thank you.” I hadn’t had an attack hit me so hard or suddenly in months. “I’m okay now.”

  His gaze travelled up and down my body, taking in my stiff posture. “I’m not so sure about that.”

  God, I was so embarrassed. I wanted to go home and hide under the covers. “Really...” I nodded like a fool. “I am,” I said, trying to sound strong and sure.

  He arched an eyebrow. “I’d believe you more if your hands weren’t still shaking.”

  “It’ll pass.” I lifted my chin and tried to hide my hands behind my back.

  “Do this for me?” He took a step back so that he wasn’t towering over me. “Give me your keys. Get in the passenger seat. I’m going to tell Zoe what’s going on, and then I’ll drive you home.”

  Horrified I began to tear up, I shook my head. “Oh you don’t need—”

  He held up one finger. “Do it my way, this time.”

  “But—” I stopped at the firm shake of his head. I knew I couldn’t drive like this. It would be another half hour or more before I got the shakes under control.

  Tony sighed. “I know, okay? I know what it’s like...” Tony’s voice had gone rough. “So give me your keys, and I’ll get you home.”

  For a few moments, he lowered his shields and let me see his pain, so I believed him. I swallowed the lump in my throat and handed him my keys.

  He again took my arm and led me to the passenger side of my car. He beeped the locks and opened the door.

  As I sat down, I touched his sleeve covering his forearm. “Please don’t tell her. Don’t tell Zoe about all of this.”

  Tony’s mouth tightened. “You can’t hide it.”

  “I know.” I swallowed a hard lump in my throat. “I just…I want to be the one to explain.” I ran my hand through my hair. “It’s really important to me...that I explain.”

  “Okay.” He gave me a steady glance. “I’m going to get her settled, and she’ll follow us to your place.”

  “Thanks.”

  He hit the lock before he shut the door. He was back within three minutes. After adjusting the seat to accommodate his long legs, he pulled out, checking to make sure that Zoe was following us. We rode in silence. I was still cold, but the shivers were subsiding. I tried to come up with a safe subject, but what could I say that wouldn’t sound lame?

  “You seeing anyone?” Tony checked his mirror as we stopped at a red light.

  I knew that he meant a shrink. “My therapist in Denver gave me a list of people she recommends, but I’ve been too busy to make any appointments.” Now, I felt stupid. I should have made that a priority instead of making friends. “I should have done that first, huh?”

  “I wasn’t judging you. I’m just concerned.”

  I nodded, keeping my gaze on the road in front of us.

  He slowed to turn into my apartment complex. “I told Zoe you felt queasy and a little dizzy. That’s the reason I gave for driving you home.”

  Relieved he’d given me an excuse, I said, “Sometimes, I’m both, after. So, you didn’t really lie. That’s my building.” I pointed at my entrance.

  “I used to get like that, too.” He pulled into a parking space, killed my engine and lights. He got out and walked around to my side to open my door.

  Zoe had parked directly in front of my apartment. As Tony and I neared the SUV, she rolled down her window. “Honey, are you doing okay?”

  Yeah, Tony’s excuse wasn’t a lie now. Weakness made me tremble, and my stomach ached. “I’m better. I just want to lie down.”

  She frowned. “Call me in the morning. I’m worried about you.”

  “I will. Thank you both for taking care of me.” I smiled at Zoe and then up at her husband.

  “That’s what friends do,” Zoe said.

  The thought that she already considered me one made me feel a little better.

  “I’ll walk you to your door.” Tony’s palm lightly touched my elbow.

  “Night, Zoe.” I headed to my door.

  Tony spoke softly, just loud enough for me to hear. “I’m going to give you a call tomorrow night after I set something up with the therapist I use. I think you might like her. Her name’s Natasha Kimball. She does group sessions and one-on-one.” He held up my keys.

  I pointed to the brass one. “That’s for the deadbolt, and the one next to it with the purple nail polish is for the bottom lock.”

  He opened my door and walked in to the urgent beeping of the alarm.

  I hurried in after him and typed in the code.

  “Keep that on all of the time?”<
br />
  I turned and looked up at him. “Yes,” I whispered. “Always.”

  “Shit,” he sighed.

  “Pretty much.” I got the feeling that if he’d had any doubts, that now, he’d firmly put two and two together. My need for locks and the alarm system, plus the severity of my attack, meant that something terrible had happened to me.

  “Get some rest, Billie, and if you need to talk or anything, call.” Tony rested his hand on my arm again.

  I liked him. He might be scary, but he was also compassionate. I could use a friend like that right now. “Thank you, and I’ll be waiting for your call about the therapist.”

  “Small steps, darlin’” Tony smiled and opened the door. “Lock up.”

  “Right.” I closed the door, threw all of the locks, then rearmed the alarm.

  Chapter Five

  Tye

  Layla had gone to bed after making me a sandwich. She was going to be a great mom. She’d welcomed me as family immediately. My best friend was happy, not that anyone would ever know, looking at his hard expression. But I’d known Lucas Forde since I was fourteen years old. The first clue he’d found “the one” was when he’d moved Layla in, and then never let her leave. The second had been how quickly he’d dropped his other women. They’d never meant anything to him, but there had always been a steady stream of partners. Until Layla. The third clue Forde was well-satisfied with his life was the fact he’d settled down. He’d become a family man almost overnight. Sure, part of that had happened the moment he’d learned he had a teenage son he’d known nothing about, but even more than the instant fatherhood, Layla had become the center of his universe. Forde had realized very early into the relationship that he wanted to come home to her, to have a life with her.

  Damn, but I was jealous. My laugh sounded harsh to my ears. Karma was playing a bad joke on me. Tyler Burke wanted this. Fuck. For all my adult years, I’d have clawed at the door to flee from anything that felt this cozy. I’d moved to Indianapolis to go to law school, and then after a few years slaving away as an associate, I’d started my own firm. I loved my job, but in the last couple of years, I’d grown unsettled. I’d tried to fuck the restlessness out of my system. When that hadn’t worked, I’d jumped out of an airplane, skied some black diamond runs, mountain biked, and boxed with Forde and his guys once a week. All of that had taken off the edge off, but I still needed something more.

  I took a long pull on the beer I’d grabbed from the under-bar refrigerator and changed channels on Forde’s huge TV. He didn’t like for Layla to be alone now that she was in her final trimester. I’d promised to stay until he returned from his meeting.

  I found a White Sox game and leaned back, trying to relax. After five minutes, I was still tense, so I started to scroll through my phone. Hmm, I’d met Krystal last night at a sports bar. She’d made it clear she was interested. I tapped my phone and hit the “mute” button on the remote. “Hey, Krys. It’s Tyler Burke.”

  The women I liked didn’t waste time playing coy. When she asked if I wanted to come over for some fun, I knew she was down for sex. My ideal type knew we’d hook-up once or twice but then we’d both move on. Krystal couldn’t give me what Forde had, but we could fuck, and then I could go home and sleep.

  My restless state hadn’t been helped by my run-in with Holly. I could tell by her body language that she’d been drinking. I’d made a mistake with her. We’d had fun, and she could keep up with me, but I’d pushed for more than we were meant to be. More than she was capable of giving.

  “I don’t connect that way. I don’t get it,” she’d warned me once after we’d been hiking, but I’d thought it was the six-pack she’d downed. She’d shrugged off her comment like when somebody announces that they don’t eat meat. I should have listened, but I’d thought that what we had was good enough. Few women had ever said no to me. I mean, I know how to argue, convince, and negotiate. I still had a bitter taste in my mouth, because she’d been right. I’d gotten caught up in a moment of recklessness and in a way, by denying me, she’d saved me from making a huge mistake.

  Now, I knew what we would have had wouldn’t be love. We were only compatible in bed. I’d have given her space, and she’d give me mine. A little part of me had fallen in love with that idea. Fuck, I hated being wrong.

  So now, because of that, everything was weird when I went to Limited. I’d caught Layla and Zoe giving me looks filled with compassion tonight. Sure my ego had taken a hit, but I hated it when people felt sorry for me. It made me angry, and that was a bad place for me to go. I’d spent years learning to control it, but I still had triggers.

  Now, I was pissed at myself for not thinking things through. I wasn’t meant to settle down, to be loved. Holly had just proved the point. Plus, since I’d hooked up with one of Limited’s employees, I’d basically shit where I ate. Stupid fucking mistake.

  Plus, that error precluded me from hitting on that new woman, the blonde that was with our group of friends tonight. Lily, Billie...something like that. I hadn’t really been listening. I’d stared at her boobs then her ass as she’d stood to say her goodbyes. God, a woman with an hourglass shape was like catnip. Her body had been amazing, but Jesus, that hair... It looked like silk. And those full lips... They were meant to be wrapped around a cock. But I couldn’t touch her because of my fuck-up with Holly.

  I heard the front door open. The alarm was cleared and reset. I turned off the TV and grabbed my bottle. I met Forde in the kitchen as he was unloading his weapons onto the counter—his many weapons.

  “Hey.” I moved to the sink to rinse my bottle.

  “Everything go all right?” Forde was ripping off his ankle holster.

  “Yeah, we came straight back. I offered to stop if she wanted anything, but she wasn’t interested. I had a sandwich, did the clean-up, and she went to bed.” I leaned against the kitchen island. “Said she was going to read, but she was out in about ten minutes.”

  “She’s tiring more easily.” Forde lined up his arsenal on the countertop.

  “She said the doctor said that she’s doing fine.” I knew about pregnancy; it was a part of my job. The majority of my clients were women with children.

  “She texted me that she liked Zoe’s friend.”

  Forde said it so easily that I didn’t know if he was fishing or making conversation. “I guess. I saw her for a moment.” I shrugged.

  “She’s meeting Layla for lunch tomorrow at the office.” Forde waited for my reaction.

  Well, fuck. Another female to avoid in the Limited minefield. “I guess you’ll meet her then.” I wasn’t going to comment. The woman was off limits to me.

  “Wanna stay for another beer?” Forde made a move to the fridge.

  “Nah, I’ve got somewhere to be.” I pushed off the marble top.

  “So soon?” Forde raised an eyebrow.

  “Like riding a horse.” I gave him a cocky grin.

  Forde followed me to his front door. “Can’t say anything. I did the same.”

  “So many women and so little time,” I joked.

  “Until you find the one,” he said, doing his big brother thing.

  I rolled my eyes, and when I heard the alarm beep once, I unlocked the door and opened it. “Later man.” I strolled into the hall, already thinking ahead to Krystal with a “K.”

  In the early morning hours, I hit the button on the opener and pulled into my garage, not shutting off the engine until the door closed behind me. I grabbed my suit coat out of the back seat, exited, and slammed my car door. I tapped the code into the keypad, opened the door to my house, and then reset the alarm. Noting the fact the security system had been not been armed, I made a mental note to remind dad, again, that he needed to keep to keep the alarm on.

  I hadn’t asked for my dad to move in, but after Layla’s kidnapping the previous fall, he’d driven to Indianapolis to help and never returned to Mississippi. I couldn’t tell my dad to stay in a hotel, so now he was my roommate. He was Ford
e’s C.O. when they’d both been in the Army, and they’d bonded. That was how I’d met Forde. He’d been the cool older brother that every kid wants. He’d gotten me drunk my first time, bought me my first box of condoms, explained the importance of pleasing a woman first, and when I’d turned twenty-one, he’d taken me out for my first night of drinking as an adult in a strip club.

  Now, my dad was eagerly anticipating the birth of his second “grandchild.” It didn’t matter that there were no blood ties. Layla, Forde, and I were his kids, and like Ryan, this baby was going to be his, too.

  I stopped in the kitchen and quickly thumbed through the mail he’d left on the counter. Then I grabbed a bottle of water and headed to my room. My house was on Geist Reservoir, one of the best locations in the area. I lived on the water in a tri-level. The house was ostentatious, but I’d gotten a great deal when the owners had to dump it during the recession. My suite of rooms was at the far end of the middle level. It was huge with a wall of glass overlooking the water. Glancing out at the view still thrilled me. I chugged from the plastic bottle then stripped as I headed to the shower.

  I turned the water on hot, needing to get rid of Krystal. I didn’t mind a woman who liked sex as much as a man, but when she tells you she wants to fuck against the wall because she just changed her sheets...?

  I stepped under the spray and closed my eyes, letting the water run down my body, washing away the day. The sad thing was, fucking her hadn’t made me feel better. I felt sort of empty. Shrugging off my dissatisfaction, I soaped up, rinsed off, and got out. At just after two in the morning, I was still too keyed up to sleep.

  I threw on a pair of shorts and headed to my office in the room next door. With any luck, I could slow my brain down and catch four hours of sleep. I didn’t like times like these when I thought too much. In the old days, I could meet up with Forde and talk, no matter the hour, but now, I wouldn’t pull him from his bed and Layla. I had to handle my shit on my own.

  Chapter Six

  Billie