Conversations with Myself

by Nelson Mandela

  I went back to the office on 8th March and plunged immediately into work with the first engagement being at 7 am and leaving the office at 5 pm. Yesterday I started at 6.45 am but was back home by 2 pm. We are trying to limit my office work to mornings only. Today I again started at 6.45 am. Had lunch with Board of Directors of Liberty Life Insurance Company and other leading businessmen and I was back home at 3.45 pm.

  When friends go abroad we tend to feel lonely even though we have never actually lived with them. There’s always a conflict between reality and feeling, between the brain and the blood.

  33. FROM A CONVERSATION WITH RICHARD STENGEL

  Well, it was clear that something was happening because there was an unacceptably high incidence of violence in which people were killed. And the arrests and convictions, you see, were few and far between, and it was clear that there was connivance on the part of the security forces. Some of the incidents indicated that the police themselves were involved, the police, the army. Because if you went to the townships – talked to the people there, they had no doubt that the police are highly instrumental in this… Yesterday I went to the Vaal, to Sebokeng, and then in the course of my speech I said that the police are very much involved…11 I went to the hospital first and saw the people, the patients there who were shot but escaped death. I saw them, and one of them, a young lady, a young girl, said that she was shot by a white man in a bakkie [pick-up truck], yes… So I say, ‘Well this is the first time I hear of this.’ She says, ‘No, I could see the white man very clearly, and when he shot me.’ And because the press as well as the TV and radio have been saying, ‘Four black men’… and this young lady says, ‘No there was a white man.’

  34. FROM A NOTEBOOK

  On the dropping of the voting age below 18… it is clear from the explanation given by Cde [Comrade] Cyril [Ramaphosa] yesterday morning that the N.C. [Negotiating Committee] does not endorse my proposal as I thought, and that the organisation as a whole has not accepted that proposal.12

  A statement on major policy matters should not be made without being processed and cleared, no matter what the status of a comrade is.

  The statement must be an acute embarrassment to the policy making structures of the organisations, and to the membership as a whole…

  35. FROM THE UNPUBLISHED SEQUEL TO HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY

  At meetings of the ANC [African National Congress], I often stressed that I did not want weak comrades or puppets who would swallow anything I said, simply because I was President of the organisation. I called for a healthy relationship in which we could address issues, not as master and servants, but as equals in which each comrade would express his or her views freely and frankly, and without fear of victimization or marginalization.

  One of my proposals, for example, which generated a lot of sound and fury, was that we should reduce the voting age to fourteen, a step which had been taken by several countries elsewhere in the world. This was due to the fact that in those countries, the youth of more or less that age were in the forefront of their revolutionary struggles. It was that contribution which induced their victorious governments to reward them by giving them the right to vote. Opposition to my proposal from members of the National Executive Committee was so vehement and overwhelming that I retreated in order. The Sowetan newspaper dramatised the issue in its cartoon column when they showed a baby in napkins voting. It was one of the most graphic manners of ridiculing my idea. I did not have the courage to insist on it again.

  36. FROM A NOTEBOOK

  Leadership falls into 2 categories

  a) Those who are inconsistent, who[se] actions cannot be predicted, who agree today on a [matter] and repudiated it the following day.

  b) Those are consistent, who have a sense of honour, a vision.

  37. FROM A NOTEBOOK

  The leader’s first task is to create a vision.

  His second is to create a following to help him implement the vision and to manage the process through effective teams. The people being led know where they are going because the leader has communicated the vision and the followers have bought into the goal he had set as well as the process of getting there.

  38. FROM THE UNPUBLISHED SEQUEL TO HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY

  It is a phenomenal leader who can succeed in exile to keep united a vast multiracial organisation with divergent schools of thought, with a membership deployed in distant continents, and a youth seething with anger at the repression of their people; a [youth] who believe that anger alone without resources and proper planning can help to overthrow a racist regime.

  OR [Oliver Tambo] achieved all this. To political and common law prisoners inside the country, to foreign freedom fighters, diplomats, Heads of State, OR was acknowledged as a shining example of a smart and balanced leader who was sure to help restore the dignity of the oppressed people and put their destiny in their hands.

  39. FROM THE UNPUBLISHED SEQUEL TO HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY

  OR’s [Oliver Tambo] death was like the falling of a giant oak tree which had stood there for ages dominating and beautifying the entire landscape, and attracting everything around it, people and animals alike. It was the end of an era of a leader… with strong religious convictions, an accomplished mathematician and musician who was peerless in his commitment to his people.13

  40. FROM A CONVERSATION WITH RICHARD STENGEL ON THE DEATH OF OR (OLIVER) TAMBO

  I felt very lonely indeed and seeing him lying there I couldn’t believe that he was dead. It was a tragedy.

  41. FROM A DRAFT LETTER TO GRAÇA MACHEL

  Some people become national or international assets in their own humble way.

  I have spent some time thinking about the other day, the things you advised me on. I hope you will understand it is never easy for those directly involved in a matter to reflect objectively, since they are invariably influenced by emotion rather than logic. I am, however working out a plan to accommodate some of your concerns, and will report to you in due course.

  It will be an unfortunate mistake on your part to keep on harping on the fact that your advice may be misconstrued as interfering in matters which do not concern you. Your views have been sound and, as usual, I am confident that what I am going to say will not make you swollen-headed. But I know of some person very close to me, in fact, a sister, who is becoming an international asset in her own humble way, who has visited our country several times, and also some overseas countr[ies].

  42. FROM A CONVERSATION WITH RICHARD STENGEL ON HIS INTERVIEW WITH PLAYWRIGHT ARTHUR MILLER

  Well, I can’t remember now the details except that I was told by our Department… of Information and Publicity that the BBC would like to send Arthur Miller to come and see me. I was, of course, keen to see him because he is an international figure of immense courage and ability and it was an honour for me to be interviewed by him… We spent about four hours together …My impressions of him were confirmed: that this was a remarkable man. He knew what to ask. Like all truly great men, he did not throw his weight about; he tried as much as possible to make me feel comfortable in the presence of greatness [laughs]… I really was happy to meet him, to meet Arthur. He is really an impressive man.

  43. FROM A NOTEBOOK, C.1993

  On the eve of my departure to US [United States] and UN [United Nations] from South Africa over a score of people were shot dead on a highway outside Johannesburg.

  Once again the police failed to protect the people going about their ordinary daily routine, and failed to pick up the trail of the killers.

  And yet there has been a clear pattern to these attacks going back for three years. In those three years over 10 000 people have been slaughtered, with only a few of the perpetrators apprehended.

  It is the total failure of the security forces to track down the killers that points to the culpability of the South African Police Force and elements of the Defence Force in this destabilization, as well as the connivance of the Government.

  The victims on the ground have the
perception that those security forces are part and parcel of the killings.

  My experience and that of my comrades in the ANC [African National Congress] is that the De Klerk government shows no will at all, of wanting to adequately deal with this crucial problem.

  .....................................................................................

  From a personal file, January 1994.

  44. FROM A PERSONAL FILE, JANUARY 1994

  The entire country was deeply shocked by the murder of so many children in Mitchell’s Plain.14

  Last Sunday I sent a telegram of sympathy to the bereaved families which we distributed to the mass media.

  In spite of my tight schedule I will spend the rest of the day visiting the bereaved families to give them support. Children are our most precious possession; it is an undesirable tragedy that they should die under such tragic circumstances.

  45. FROM A PERSONAL FILE

  1.

  Share developments in democratic forces.

  2.

  Our problem is to face the very 1st democratic elections with 17 million voters who have never voted before.

  3.

  Illiteracy rate of 67% and 63% of our voters are rural based.

  4.

  Our problem is how to access people and introduce voters to education on how to vote.

  5.

  We are contesting this election with the NP [National Party] which has already 150 election offices. We have none save our regional offices.

  6.

  NP is one of the most efficient and well-organised political parties in the country.

  7.

  Enjoy mass support – opinion polls indicate that we would emerge as majority party. But decisive thing is to be able to carry voters to the voting booth.

  46. FROM A NOTEBOOK, C.1994

  1.

  Personalise political experience

  2.

  Contrast between first visit and 2 later visits.

  Prisoner facing the unknown

  To persuade 25 comrades to leave prison…

  3.

  Death of my mother and eldest son

  Natural causes, accident

  Refused permission to attend burials

  4.

  Failure to thank those who helped me during early ’40s

  5.

  Hoped I would find them alive on my return. They all went.

  Thought world itself was dying.

  6.

  Harassment of my family

  Zami and children

  Psychological persecution –

  Adverse news about wife

  7.

  Relations between prisoners and warders very bad

  But furious arguments among warders – Sgt Opperman.

  8.

  Unity among prisoners – ANC, PAC, APDUSA – Makwetu, Pokela, Eddie, Neville, Saths Cooper, Walter, Govan, Kathy, Peake, Dennis Brutus – cowards – heroes.15

  9.

  Opportunity to stand back and reflect.

  10.

  Kramat, plays, Antigone.

  Ability to read biographies and newspapers, to exchange views with others.

  11.

  Negotiations – meeting with PW Botha16

  12.

  Meeting with De Klerk on 9.2.89

  13.

  Pollsmoor and Victor Verster

  47. FROM THE UNPUBLISHED SEQUEL TO HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY

  I was receiving intelligence reports to the effect that the rightwing Afrikaners had decided to stop the forthcoming elections by violence. To be on the safe side the president of an organisation must carefully check the accuracy of such reports. I did so, and when I discovered that they were accurate I decided to act.

  I flew down to the Wilderness, the retirement home of former president PW Botha, [and] reminded him of the communiqué we jointly issued when I was still in prison in July 1989. In that communiqué we pledged to work together for peace in our country. I informed him that peace was now threatened by the rightwing and asked him to intervene. He was co-operative and confirmed that Afrikaners were determined to stop the elections. But he added that he did not want to discuss the matter with me alone, and suggested that I bring President FW de Klerk, Ferdi Hartzenberg and the General [Constand Viljoen].17

  I proposed that we should also include the leader of the extreme Afrikaner rightwing, Eugene Terre’Blanche, on the grounds that he was a reckless demagogue who could attract larger crowds than President De Klerk.18 On this issue the former president was so negative that I dropped the subject.

  I returned to Johannesburg and immediately telephoned President De Klerk and informed him of Botha’s invitation. He was as hostile to the whole idea of us meeting the former president as the latter was towards Terre’Blanche. I then approached the progressive Afrikaner theologian, Professor Johan Heyns, to bring together the general, Hartzenberg, Terre’Blanche and myself.19 Terre’Blanche was uncompromising and rejected any meeting with me, a communist, as he said.

  I then met the General and Hartzenberg and asked whether it was true that they were preparing to stop the elections by violent means. The General was frank and admitted that this was correct and that Afrikaners were arming, and that a bloody civil war was facing the country. I was shaken but pretended that I was supremely confident of the victory of the liberation movement. I told them that they would give us a hard time since they were better trained militarily than us, commanded more devastating weaponry and because of their resources, they knew the country better than us. But I warned that at the end of that reckless gamble they would be crushed. We were on the verge of an historic victory after we had inflicted a mortal blow to white supremacy. I pointed out this was not due to their consent; it was in spite of their opposition. I added that we had a just cause, numbers and support of the international community. They had none of these. I appealed to them to stop their plans and to join the negotiations at the World Trade Centre.

  48. FROM THE UNPUBLISHED SEQUEL TO HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY

  My installation as the first democratically elected President of the Republic of South Africa was imposed on me much against my advice.

  As the date of the general elections approached, three senior ANC [African National Congress] leaders informed me that they had consulted widely within the organisation, and that the unanimous decision was that I should stand as President if we won the election. This, they said, was what they would propose at the first meeting of our parliamentary caucus. I advised against the decision on the grounds that I would turn seventy-six that year, that it would be wise to get a far younger person, male or female, who had been out of prison, met heads of state and government, attended meetings of world and regional organisations, who had kept abreast of national and international developments, who could, as far as was possible, foresee the future course of such developments.

  I pointed out that I had always admired men and women who used their talents to serve the community, and who were highly respected and admired for their efforts and sacrifices, even though they held no office whatsoever in government or society. The combination of talent and humility, of being able to be at home with both the poor and the wealthy, the weak and the mighty, ordinary people and royalty, young and old, men and women with a common touch, irrespective of their race or background, are admired by humankind all over the globe…

  I urged the three senior leaders that I would prefer to serve without holding any position in the organisation or government. One of them, however, put me flat on the carpet. He reminded me that I had always advocated the importance of collective leadership, and that as long as we scrupulously served that principle we could never go wrong. He bluntly asked whether I was now reflecting what I had consistently preached. Although that principle was never intended to exclude a strong defence of what one firmly believed in, I decided to accept their proposal.

  I, however, made it clear that I would serve for one term only. Although my statement seemed to have caught
them unawares, they replied that I should leave that matter to the organisation. I did not want any uncertainty on this question. Shortly after I became President I publicly announced that I would serve one term only and would not seek re-election.

  49. FROM THE UNPUBLISHED SEQUEL TO HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY

  On voting day, an elderly African lady from the Northern Transvaal, as it was then known, told the election official at the polling station that she wanted to vote for the boy who came from jail. Although she mentioned some name, she did not know to which organisation he belonged. After interrogation, the polling station was able to sort out the problem to her satisfaction.

  50. FROM THE UNPUBLISHED SEQUEL TO HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY

  The fighters of Umkhonto we Sizwe (MK) displayed unrivalled courage and infiltrated the country, attacked government installations, and clashed with apartheid forces… now and again, putting them to flight.

  Other freedom fighters worked inside the country either above or underground, urging the masses to rise and resist all forms of oppression and exploitation. They braved the brutality of the regime regardless of what happened to themselves. For liberation they were ready to pay the highest price.

  Still others languished in apartheid jails, fearlessly asserting their right to be treated as human beings in their own motherland. They literally dug themselves in[to] the lion’s den, demonstrating once again, the universal principle that the freedom flame cannot be smothered by evil men.