Here and Gone

by Haylen Beck

  ‘Sean? Where are you?’

  He remained still and silent, his hands ready.

  ‘I’ve got medicine for your sister,’ Collins said. ‘Come on out, now, let’s get her well again.’

  Still and quiet.

  ‘Sean, come out where I can see you. I don’t want to get mad at you.’

  She took one step down. Then another.

  ‘Come on, now. I’m dog tired and I haven’t got the patience for this.’

  Now she descended further, faster, and Sean watched her boots through the gaps between the steps. When her heels were at his eye level, he reached out and grabbed her ankles. Barely a touch, but it was enough.

  There was a moment that seemed to stretch out for an age: her feet skimming the edges of the steps, her arms windmilling. Then she toppled forward, hit the stairs so hard he felt the force of it through the floor and the soles of his shoes. Collins rolled the rest of the way down, her shoulder and head glancing off the steps. She landed heavy on the floorboards, flat on her back, and he heard the air expelled from her lungs.

  Move, he thought. Now.

  Sean sprang from behind the stairs, around to the foot of them, and up, two steps at a time. A cry from below, rage and fear. He didn’t look back, but as he neared the top, he felt Collins’ weight on the steps below.

  He reached the opening, out onto the cabin floor. His feet slipped from under him as he tried to halt, to turn back for the trapdoor. He scurried across to it, saw Collins charging up toward him. He reached for the door, hauled it back and over, threw it down with everything he had. Collins cried out again as it came down on her head, her hands scrabbling at the floor.

  Sean ran for the door, leaped across the porch, onto the pine-needle carpet of the forest. Clean, cool air in his lungs, he passed the motorcycle and sprinted for the trees.

  ‘Stop!’

  He weaved between the pines, left and right, ready for a bullet to take him off his feet.

  ‘Stop, you little—’

  The voice had not drawn closer. Maybe he could outrun her. Maybe.

  Then a tree root snagged his toe, and up was down, and he saw the ground fall away and rise again as he sailed weightless for a moment through the air. He rolled down the incline, shoulder then hip hitting the soft ground, end over end. Collins appeared in his vision as he came to rest. No air in the world, he tried to get his feet under him, but she hit him hard, body to body, putting him back down again.

  Fight, he thought. Fight or you’ll die.

  He balled his hands into fists, threw them at her, felt them connect with the soft flesh of her breasts. She dropped her full weight on him and tried to grab his wrists. He snaked them out of her grasp, punched her sides, reached behind her, grabbed at fabric. Her hard flat palm slammed into his cheek, a white flash in his head, then black dots in his vision. She put a knee on his chest, pinning him in place.

  ‘Jesus Christ, do you want me to kill you?’ she shouted, her voice echoing through the trees. ‘Your sister too? Is that what you want?’

  Sean blinked up at the sky. High above, an airplane left a trail against the deepening blue. Somewhere amid the fear, he wondered if someone might look down and see him trapped here. Then Collins leaned down, her nose almost touching his, and he couldn’t see the plane anymore.

  ‘I will do it,’ she said. ‘Don’t you doubt that for a second.’

  She reached back, seeking something.

  For a splinter of a second, Sean thought, Oh God, she’ll know, she’ll know and she’ll kill me. Then she pressed the pistol’s muzzle against his cheek and relief flooded through him. He almost giggled with the force of it.

  She pressed harder. ‘I’ll put a bullet in your fucking head, you hear me? You and your sister both. I’ll do her first and make you watch.’ Collins lifted her knee from his chest, pushed up onto her feet. She aimed the pistol at his forehead. ‘Get up and walk.’

  Sean lay still for a moment, staring at the sky, looking for the plane. He found the trail, followed it until he saw the craft through the branches. Then he got to his feet, dusted the browned pine needles off his T-shirt and jeans.

  Collins waved the pistol back in the direction of the cabin. ‘Move,’ she said.

  Sean did as he was told, breathless, his head down as he walked.

  ‘I don’t think you’d do it,’ he said as they entered the clearing.

  ‘Shut up,’ Collins said.

  ‘I think the sheriff would,’ he said, risking a glance back at her. He saw the pistol still trained on him. ‘But you wouldn’t. Because you have a kid my age.’

  ‘Shut your mouth and get inside.’

  A shove between his shoulder blades sent him stumbling across the porch and through the door. He walked to the trapdoor and the top of the steps. Louise still lay where they’d left her, eyes staring up at him from her sweating face.

  Collins followed him halfway down before she stopped. He paused at the bottom to look back up at her. She indicated the paper bags on the floor.

  ‘There’s your food,’ she said. ‘And a bottle of antibiotics. Give your sister three now, and another three later tonight. She needs to get better if you want to leave here.’

  Sean got down on his knees, looked through the bags, set aside the sandwiches and fruit. There, a small bottle that rattled when he lifted it. Amoxicillin, it said.

  ‘You try that shit again,’ Collins said, ‘then you’ll see what I will or won’t do.’

  She turned and climbed the steps, let the trapdoor slam shut, locked it.

  ‘You left me,’ Louise said.

  Startled, Sean turned his head to her. ‘What?’

  ‘You ran away and left me,’ she said, her eyes hard and unforgiving.

  ‘No, I didn’t.’

  ‘Yes, you did,’ she said. ‘I saw.’

  Sean crawled across the floor to kneel beside the mattress. ‘I didn’t run away,’ he said. ‘I just needed to get something.’

  ‘Get what?’ she asked, lifting her head.

  He reached inside the front of his jeans, found the metal with his fingertips. ‘This,’ he said. ‘Look.’

  ‘What is it?’

  Before her eyes he opened the lock knife he’d taken from Deputy Collins’ pocket, let her see the shining blade.

  35

  AUDRA WATCHED THE news report, her hand over her mouth.

  The studio handed over to Rhonda Carlisle, Silver Water’s main street darkening behind her.

  ‘Another major development in Elder County this evening, following the earlier shocking statement given by Audra Kinney,’ Rhonda Carlisle said. ‘An anonymous source within the investigation into the whereabouts of Sean and Louise Kinney has leaked images of physical evidence taken from their mother’s car, which was stopped outside this small desert town forty-eight hours ago.’

  The photographs of the stained T-shirt and torn jeans. Audra wanted to look away, but she couldn’t.

  ‘The source tells us these items were found hidden beneath the front passenger seat of Audra Kinney’s station wagon by a team from the FBI’s Phoenix field office. The source also tells us that traces of blood were found around the rear of the car, deepening the authorities’ fears for the children’s safety.’

  Back to the studio, and the male anchor addressed the reporter.

  ‘Now, Rhonda, is it possible this leak is a direct response to the accusations against the Elder County Sheriff’s Department that Audra Kinney made earlier today?’

  The reporter again, her expression stern.

  ‘It’s certainly a remarkable coincidence, Derek. Of course it’s only speculation, but a good guess might be that the investigation team wanted to undo the damage done by Audra Kinney’s statement. Given the find of bloodied children’s clothing, and what we know of this woman’s emotional and mental health problems, along with her issues with addiction, it doesn’t paint a very bright picture for her, or her son and daughter.

  ‘And the source has g
one further and told us that with this physical evidence in hand, the Arizona Department of Public Safety’s Criminal Investigations Division has all it needs to arrest Audra Kinney for the suspected murder of her children. But, we’re told, the FBI’s Child Abduction Response Deployment team, who are heading up the search operation, have been holding the state police at bay in hopes of Mrs Kinney giving up the location of her children, dead or alive. According to the source, the authorities’ patience is at an end, and they are scheduled to execute a warrant for her arrest sometime in the next twenty-four hours. When that happens, this will officially no longer be a missing persons investigation: it will be a murder investigation.’

  Audra switched off the television and said, ‘Whiteside leaked the photos. It had to be him.’

  ‘I told you he’d hit back,’ Danny said. An empty cup and a plate of cake crumbs sat on the floor beside his chair. ‘If they were going to arrest you today, they’d have done it by now. My guess is they’ll come for you in the morning. If we’re going to move against Collins, we have to do it tonight.’

  ‘We can’t,’ Audra said. ‘I can’t. I’m not …’

  She looked at him, looked away again.

  ‘Like me?’

  ‘That’s not what I meant. I don’t even know you.’

  Audra stood over the bed, looked once more at the map she’d borrowed from Mrs Gerber.

  The landlady had balked when she saw Danny in the corner, demanded to know who this new intruder was, and how had he gotten inside? It had been all Audra could do to calm her down and reassure her that everything was fine.

  After some persuasion, Mrs Gerber had fetched the map and pointed out the regions.

  ‘If I was going to hide two children,’ she’d said, ‘I wouldn’t do it in the low desert. I’d go north, where it’s cooler, up high into the forest.’ She had tapped the paper with her fingertip. ‘That there’s the Mogollon Rim. It climbs fast up into the Colorado Plateau. One minute it’s all prickly pears, next it’s juniper, then before you know it, you’re at seven thousand feet and it’s pine trees for miles and miles. Nothing but forest between there and Flagstaff. If I wanted to lose somebody, that’s where I’d do it.’

  Audra looked at it now, the sheer expanse of it, and shook her head.

  Danny came to her side. ‘Even if I sneak you out of here, where would you start to look? We need to get Collins. That’s the only way. You know I’m right.’

  ‘There’s another option,’ Audra said. ‘You talk to Mitchell.’

  ‘I’m not going over that again. I can’t—’

  A knock on the door silenced him. He looked at Audra, and she at him.

  ‘Who is it?’ Audra called.

  ‘Special Agent Mitchell. Detective Showalter is with me. Audra, can we have a word?’

  Audra went to the door, put her eye to the peephole, saw the distorted forms of Mitchell and Showalter waiting in the dimness of the hall.

  ‘Right now?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, right now,’ Mitchell said, an edge to her voice.

  Audra turned to Danny, pointed to the bathroom. He slipped inside, eased the door closed. Audra turned the key in the lock, pulled aside the chain, opened the door.

  Mitchell and Showalter stepped through, without waiting to be asked.

  ‘I heard a voice,’ Mitchell said. ‘I thought maybe you had company.’

  ‘The TV,’ Audra said. ‘What do you want?’

  Mitchell looked down at the map, still spread out on the bed. ‘Planning a trip?’

  ‘I was wondering where Whiteside and Collins would have taken my children.’

  Showalter shook his head and rolled his eyes. Mitchell ignored him.

  ‘And did you come to any conclusions?’

  ‘North,’ Audra said. ‘Up into the forests. It’s cooler there, plenty of places to hide.’

  Mitchell tilted her head. ‘Not east? Not back the way you came?’

  Audra slumped down into the chair. ‘Please, I’m very tired. What did you come here for?’

  ‘To tell you that was a damn stupid thing you did earlier.’

  ‘I don’t care,’ Audra said. ‘I had to do something.’

  Mitchell sat on the edge of the bed, leaned forward, her hands together. ‘You want to do something? Try telling me where your children are.’

  Audra closed her eyes, leaned her head back. ‘Oh God, I can’t do this again. If that’s all you’ve got, then I’d rather you left.’

  Mitchell stood, crossed the space between them, hunkered down in front of her. ‘Look, I came here so we could talk informally, off the record. No cameras, no notebooks. Give you one more chance before the state police take action.’

  ‘Take action?’

  ‘Audra, they don’t need a body to charge you with murder. The clothing we found in your car is enough. The only reason you haven’t been arrested for killing your children is because I wanted to give you a chance to tell the truth. To make things easier on yourself. Right now, I’m in charge of finding your children, but when this becomes a murder investigation, Showalter takes over. The Criminal Investigations Division decides when that happens, not me. I’ve held them off as long as I can, but I can’t do it anymore. You made sure of that with your little stunt this afternoon. Now, for God’s sake, tell me where Sean and Louise are.’

  ‘Jesus,’ Audra said. ‘How can you be so blind?’

  ‘Tomorrow morning, ten o’clock,’ Mitchell said. ‘Fourteen hours. That’s all you’ve got, Audra. After that, you’re in the hands of the state cops, the Department of Criminal Investigations. Then I won’t be here for you. You think this is tough? They will eat you alive.’

  Audra straightened in the chair. ‘Have you questioned Whiteside?’

  ‘I’ve spoken with him, yes, but—’

  ‘Have you questioned him?’ Audra asked, her voice hardening. ‘As a suspect.’

  Mitchell shook her head. ‘No, I haven’t.’

  ‘What about Collins?’

  ‘No.’

  Audra looked her hard in the eye. ‘Then what good are you to me? I’d like you to leave now.’

  She didn’t see Showalter move to her side, only felt his hand grip her hair and jerk her head back. She gasped and cried out at the pain. Her hands went to his fist, tried to pry his fingers away. He leaned in close and she smelt his cigarette breath, felt his spit on her skin as he spoke.

  ‘Now listen to me, you crazy bitch. If it was my choice, I’d beat it out of you. I still might. You got until morning to tell us what you did to your kids. After that, you’re all mine. And I don’t play nice.’

  Mitchell got to her feet. ‘Detective Showalter, let her go.’

  He leaned in closer, tugged at Audra’s hair. ‘Tomorrow morning. You hear me?’

  ‘Goddamn it, Showalter, stop.’

  Audra cried out as he tightened his grip.

  ‘Take your hands off her,’ Danny Lee said.

  36

  DANNY HAD LISTENED as long as he could. The voices took him back five years. The accusations, the willful disbelief. He had stood behind the bathroom door, clenching his fists, grinding his teeth, picturing Mya in that room, the same questions thrown at her. Then he heard the cry, the cop’s bitter, hateful words.

  When he stepped through the doorway, it had been with the intention of laying the cop out. But his mind had cleared when he saw it was indeed Audra there, not his long-dead wife.

  As all three stared at him, he thought, what good can I do now? If I can’t hurt them, what can I do?

  ‘Who in the hell are you?’ Special Agent Mitchell asked, her eyes wide.

  ‘My name is Danny Lee,’ he said, stepping out of the bathroom doorway. He spoke to the big cop with a handful of Audra’s hair, his rage bubbling beneath his voice. ‘Sir, I asked you to take your hands off her.’

  Showalter released his grip, pushed Audra’s head like he was tossing away garbage.

  ‘My friend,’ he said, ‘you better explain y
ourself pretty damn quick, before I kick your ass into next week.’

  He thought, what can I do?

  Then he decided.

  ‘Ma’am,’ Danny said to Mitchell, ‘can I speak with you?’

  She put her hands on her hips. ‘What about?’

  ‘I’d rather do it in private,’ Danny said, nodding toward Showalter.

  ‘Wait a minute,’ Showalter growled.

  Mitchell raised her hand to the detective, told him to be quiet.

  ‘Tell me your name again, please?’ she said.

  ‘Danny Lee.’

  ‘Mr Lee, I have no clue who you are or what you’re doing here. In all honesty, your presence rather alarms me, and I have a good mind to ask Detective Showalter to arrest your ass for interfering with this investigation. So why should I give you my time?’

  ‘Because you want to find those children,’ Danny said.

  Special Agent Mitchell sat quiet and listened, her notebook open on the old dining table. She had declared the bedroom too crowded, so they had followed her downstairs. Mitchell had asked Showalter to wait out in the hall and he had protested, but Mitchell reminded him that, at least for tonight, she was still calling the shots.

  Audra leaned with her back against the wall and watched Mitchell make notes as Danny talked. Mitchell did not interrupt, offered no views on anything he said. He tried to read her expression, but couldn’t.

  Danny sat on the far side of the table, across from Mitchell, and spoke in as flat a tone as he could manage, no emotion, even when he described finding his wife’s body. As if he had expended all his tears long ago. Nothing left now but a hollow recital of facts.

  When he finished, Mitchell remained still, her gaze on the notebook. The muscles in her jaw bunched. After a few moments she inhaled, exhaled, and got to her feet.

  ‘Give me a minute,’ she said, lifting the notebook. She stepped out into the hall, closed the door behind her.

  Audra left her place by the wall, came to the table, sat down. Danny shook his head as he looked at her.

  ‘She won’t go for it,’ he said.

  ‘She might,’ Audra said. ‘Either way, we had to try.’