How to Create the Perfect Wife

by Wendy Moore

  186 Day would refer to them when writing to Sabrina as “your friends”: TD to SS, May 4, 1783, ERO, D/DBa C13. The ensuing quotes are from this letter, which was probably a draft.

  188 “I therefore determined,” wrote Day: TD to SS, May 4, 1783, ERO, D/DBa C13. The details of this final trial are taken from the letter from Day to Sabrina in which he describes his whole experiment on her, Edgeworth’s memoirs and the description of Sabrina’s story by Fanny Burney, written as a French exercise for her husband. Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 332–35; Burney, French Exercise Book (Berg).

  189 Seward noted that Day: Seward (1804), p. 37.

  189 Sabrina would later regard the Keirs “with great resentment”: ME to Frances Edgeworth, October 15, 1818, in Edgeworth, M (1971), p. 122.

  189 She was either pregnant: JK to Charles Darwin (ED’s son), May 2, 1776, in Moilliet, A., p. 54. Keir refers to “your godson.” The baby died in infancy. Day was still spending much of his time at his law studies in London; records show him dining in Middle Temple Hall with Bicknell, William Jones and John Laurens on numerous occasions in 1775. MT Buttery Book 3, 1773–76, MT7/BUB/3.

  190 As Eliza miserably told Professor Higgins: Shaw, p. 101.

  190 “She surpassed all his ideas”: Burney, French Exercise Book (Berg).

  191 Since there were few neighbors and fewer diversions: Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 326–29.

  191 “If it is happy for us, which it certainly is”: Honora Edgeworth to Mary Powys, May 5, 1775, Edgeworth Papers, MS 10, 166/9.

  191 Life was not quite so joyful: Butler, HJ and HE, p. 159. The sofa belonged to her Aunt Fox, RLE’s eldest sister.

  192 Edgeworth had seriously doubted she could ever become “sufficiently cultivated”: Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 332–35. Succeeding quotes by RLE are from these pages.

  193 “I studiously avoided the word marriage to you”: TD to SS, May 4, 1783, ERO, D/DBa C13.

  193 “He finally explained to Sabrina”: Burney, French Exercise Book (Berg).

  195 It was a “trifling” consideration: Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 334–35.

  195 “She completely disappeared for a few hours”: Burney, French Exercise Book (Berg). FB may well be embroidering events here. She said that Sabrina had run off to get married to Bicknell although this only happened many years later.

  196 He dispatched Sabrina immediately to a boardinghouse: Seward (1804), p. 36. Picard gives the annual wage of a housemaid as between £6 and £8; the American law student John Dickinson estimated £120 was needed to live frugally. Picard, Liza, Dr. Johnson’s London (London, 2000), p. 297; Colbourn, H. Trevor, “A Pennsylvanian Farmer at the Court of King George: John Dickinson’s London Letters, 1754–1756,” in The Pennsylvania Magazine of History and Biography, 86, no. 3 (1962), pp. 241–85, specifically p. 275.

  196 “my checker’d & adventurous history”: Sabrina Bicknell to ME, October 29, 1818, Edgeworth Papers, MS 22470/15.

  197 Edgeworth would feel concerned that he had somehow “betrayed”: Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 345–46.

  CHAPTER 9: ESTHER

  199 Clever, amiable and wealthy, at twenty-three, Esther Milnes: lnformation on the Milnes family is from Walker, John William, Wakefield, Its History and People (Wakefield, 1934), pp. 345 and 397–98; Burke, vol. 2, pp. 868–69; Glover, Stephen, The History and Gazetteer of the County of Derby (Derby, 1831), p. 323; Betham, William, The Baronetage of England (5 vols., London, 1803–5), vol. 5, p. 449–50; TD and Esther Day (1805). Much of the family history information in printed sources is inaccurate; for example, Elizabeth was not the eldest daughter. Esther was baptized on October 15, 1752: Chesterfield parish records. My thanks to Jacky Worthington for help in tracing the Milnes nephews.

  200 Esther addressed flattering odes to her best friends: Some of Esther’s poems, hymns and juvenile letters are reproduced in TD and Esther Day (1805).

  200 Writing to one friend, who was about to travel to India: EM to Caroline Purling, September 2, 1767, Essex RO, D/DBa C14; and EM to Frances Sewell, November 11, 1769, Essex RO, D/DBa C15. After persuading her family to let her marry Matthew Lewis in 1772, Frances later ran off with a music teacher.

  201 Exhorting one friend to avoid the “giddy, fantastick whirl of amusements”: EM to Caroline Purling, c. 1768, in TD and Esther Day (1805), pp. 139–44.

  201 In a juvenile essay, on “Politeness,” Esther scorned: TD and Esther Day (1805), pp. 151–52.

  201 Esther sent Robert a tender poem: EM, “To Miss M.’s brother in law Mr. L,” in TD and Esther Day (1805), pp. 47–48.

  202 Esther’s Aunt Ann urged her to tell Robert: Ann Wilkinson to EM, March 6, April 8 and October 25 (1769), Essex RO, D/DBa C16. Ann Wilkinson was married to Richard Wilkinson of Chesterfield, a cousin of Esther’s father Richard Milnes. The Wilkinsons acted as guardians to EM.

  202 Aunt Esther admitted it was “a very difficult question”: Esther Milnes (EM’s aunt) to Esther Milnes, February 3, 1773, Essex RO, D/DBa C18.

  202 promising a bequest for a young girl, a foundling: EM’s incomplete will, 1777, leaving £5 annuity to a foundling called Tabitha Parker, who lived with her aunt, also named Esther Milnes, Essex RO, D/DBa F65.

  203 Esther had first met Day in 1774: Edgeworth says EM was 22 or 23 when she met TD. He describes the conversation between TD and Small. The meeting must have taken place before Small’s gradual decline from the end of 1774. It was obviously, therefore, before Day took up with Sabrina for the second time. Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, p. 336. RLE describes the romance with EM. Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 335–38.

  203 She sometimes stayed with relatives in Temple Row: Fanny Sewell to EM (at Joseph Wilkinson’s, Temple Row, Birmingham), November 5, 1772, ERO, D/DBa C15.

  203 According to Edgeworth, the doctor waited: Edgeworth wrote that Day met Esther before Small’s death, but Day plainly stated that he took up with Sabrina a second time soon after Small died. Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 336–37; TD to SS, May 4, 1783, ERO, D/DBa C13.

  203 Day demanded to know whether the talented Miss Milnes possessed: Day’s inquisition regarding Esther’s virtues is described by Edgeworth. Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 335–38.

  204 “My affection for you was the spontaneous effusion”: Esther Day to TD, n.d. (c. 1782), Essex RO, D/DBa C12.

  205 “no more than esteem & friendship,” she would later say: Esther Day to TD, n.d. (c. 1782), Essex RO, D/DBa C12.

  205 At one point Esther sent Day some verses: TD and Esther Day (1805), pp. 1–5. There are preceding pages that are unnumbered.

  206 he wrote another of his many poems on unrequited love: TD, “Verses Addressed to a Young Lady, 1775,” in TD and Esther Day (1805), p. 25.

  206 a fiercely pro-American poem, Ode for the New Year: TD, Ode for the New Year 1776 (J. Almon, London, 1776); Day, The Devoted Legions (J. Ridley, London, 1776). Day published a further poem, The Desolation of America, which reprised his attack on the British government’s war with America, in 1777.

  206 Day sauntered along to a meeting of the Club of Thirteen: Williams, pp. 20–22; Bentley, pp. 59–66. Bentley describes the trip to visit Rousseau and Williams describes its consequences.

  208 A silver paper tray, which Day ordered: MB to TD, December 18, 1776, Letter book G, p. 780, Soho archives: Boulton Papers, MS 3782/1/10. The story of Day’s engagement to Elizabeth Hall is described in a letter, Emma Sophie Galton to Charles Darwin, November 12, 1879, Cambridge University Library, DAR 210.14.34, quoted by permission of the Syndics of Cambridge University Library. I am indebted to Desmond King-Hele for directing me to this reference to Elizabeth Hall. King-Hele suggests that the tray was meant for Darwin’s sister Susannah, his housekeeper, who was 48 in 1777, which is also plausible.

  209 hasty marriage with Roger Vaughton: Smith, E., “Vaughton family history” (1995), transcript at SOG, p. 18. Desmond King-Hele has suggested that the hurry over the marriage could have been due to Elizabeth being already
pregnant by Day. Her first child, Elizabeth Anne, was baptized on July 8, 1778, ten months after the wedding although of course the baptism could have been delayed to guard her mother’s reputation. King-Hele, personal communication.

  209 Day was pressing Matthew Boulton to pay the interest: TD to MB, various letters 1776 and 1777, for example, January 29, 1777, December 13, 1777, Soho archives: Boulton Papers MS 3782/12/81/88 and 95; TD to MB, December 21, 1777, MS 3782/12/81/97.

  210 “With Mr. Day there were a thousand small preliminaries”: Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 337–38; Keir, p. 46.

  210 During their courtship she wrote: EM to TD, scrap of letter, n.d.; and TD to EM, n.d., ERO, D/DBa C12.

  211 Writing to the Wilkinsons in the first half of 1778, Day: TD to Richard Wilkinson, n.d. (1778), ERO, D/DBa CIO.

  211 The novelist Tobias Smollett described the mixed bathing: Smollett, Tobias, Humphrey Clinker (London, 1967, first published 1771), p. 75.

  212 Day would later tell his old chum Bicknell: TD to JB, n.d., cited in European Magazine, 2 (1795), pp. 21–22.

  212 Thomas Day finally married Esther Milnes: Marriage of TD and EM, August 7, 1778, Marriage register St. James’s Church, Bath Record Office. Richard Warburton Lytton was one of the witnesses.

  212 “I hope he will contrive to be happy”: Josiah Wedgwood to Thomas Bentley, August 24, 1778, Wedgwood, Josiah, Letters of Josiah Wedgwood, ed. Farrar, Katherine Euphemia, Lady (3 vols., Manchester, 1903), vol. 2, p. 443.

  212 A month later, Keir: JK to MB, October 20, 1778, Boulton Papers, MS 3782/12/65/24.

  213 She pronounced Esther “extremely engaging”: AS to Mary Powys, n.d. (1788) SJBM, 2001.76.18.

  213 All their friends at least were in no doubt that Day and Esther: Keir, p. 46; Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 2, p. 122; TD and Esther Day (1805), p. 34.

  214 “by living in inconvenient lodgings”: Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 339–40. The succeeding quotes by RLE are from here.

  214 he told Darwin’s son Erasmus Junior: TD to Erasmus Darwin Jr., January 29, 1779, BL Add. MS 29300 f 55.

  214 a silver coffeepot and steak dish: MB (Boulton and Fothergill) to TD, March 13, 1779, Soho archives: Boulton Papers MS 3782/1/11/387.

  215 “The house was indifferent and the land worse”: Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, p. 342.

  215 continued to pay them during the winter: Keir, p. 48.

  215 One laborer would later remember: Edgeworth, M (1971), p. 111. This is related by ME when she visits the farm in 1818.

  215 Edgeworth was paying his friend a visit: Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, p. 343.

  216 Day proudly boasted to Bicknell: TD to JB, n.d., cited in European Magazine, 2 (1795), pp. 21–22.

  216 It was probably an exaggeration when Anna Seward: Seward (1804), pp. 34–35.

  216 “the dearest object to me, which this world affords”; “my whole soul”: TD to Richard Wilkinson, n.d., ERO, D/DBa C10; Esther Day to TD, n.d. (c. 1782), ERO, D/DBa C12.

  217 a sequel to Émile: Rousseau (1783).

  217 she even contemplated separating from Day forever: Esther Day to TD, n.d. (c. 1782) and same to same, March 21, 1783, ERO, D/DBa C12. The following quotes about the Days’ rows are all from these letters.

  219 As the telltale symptoms of consumption weakened Honora’s health: Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 358–69. Honora’s last letter, to unnamed recipient, n.d. (1780), Edgeworth Papers, MS 10, 166/25. The letter is also reproduced in RLE’s memoirs, vol. 1, p. 369. The poem quoted is “The Fireside” by Nathaniel Cotton, a physician who was also a poet popular at the time.

  220 “She now lies dead beside me”: RLE to ME, May 2, 1780, Edgeworth Papers, MS 10166/31.

  220 He attended the funeral in a trance: Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 367–68. RLE also relates the visit to the Days.

  221 When the Edgeworths had called at the palace: AS to Mary Sykes, June 1, 1776, SJBM, 2001.72.9.

  221 The phantom of her idealized woman: AS, “Lichfield, An Elegy,” in Seward (1810), vol. 1, p. 89–100.

  221 “the specious, the false, the cruel, the murderous Edgeworth”: AS to Thomas Sedgewick Whalley, September 3, 1791, in Whalley, vol. 2, p. 56.

  221 Elizabeth had previously described Edgeworth: Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 1, pp. 371–74.

  222 Edgeworth wrote to Boulton: MB to RLE, February 25, 1781, Soho archives, Boulton Papers, MS 3782/12/5/3.

  222 “To my inexpressible concern my Daugr. Elizabeth”: Edward Sneyd’s diaries, Staffordshire RO, HM37/40. Will (canceled) of Edward Sneyd of Lichfield 1780, Staffordshire RO, HM37/37.

  222 Edgeworth wrote in an uncharacteristic fury: RLE to Margaret Ruxton, November 28, 1780, Edgeworth Papers, MS 10166/36.

  222 Edgeworth and Elizabeth headed for London: Note, Harriot Edgeworth’s hand, Edgeworth Papers, MS 10166/38.

  222 He had finally been called to the bar in 1779: Day was called to the bar on May 14, 1779. MT archives, Barristers Ledger, MT3/BAL/2. Day’s letters to Walter Pollard, a lawyer friend, describe his tenancy at 10 Furnival Inn: BL Add. MS 35655. Pollard was the son of a physician who had a large practice in Barbados until it was destroyed by a tornado. With his access to fellow Americans, he played a key role in providing Day with information on the American campaign.

  222 Day became a leading figure in the reform movement: Day also helped found the Society for Constitutional Information, which began publishing and distributing subversive propaganda, including Day’s speeches, in support of sweeping constitutional reforms. For background on this and the reform movement in general see Christie, Ian R., Wilkes, Wyvill and Reform: the parliamentary reform movement in British politics, 1760–1785 (London, New York, 1962), pp. 68–115; Butterfield, Herbert, George III, Lord North and the People, 1779–80 (London, 1949), pp. 256, 284–88, 295 and 350–51; TD, Two Speeches of Thomas Day, Esq, at the General Meetings of the Counties of Cambridge and Essex (London, 1780). The speeches were published by the Society for Constitutional Information. Day was encouraged to stand for Parliament by the physician Dr. John Jebb and Erasmus Darwin, but Day insisted he was not one of the “bought and buying tribe.” Keir, pp. 121–23.

  223 Ever since Day had pledged support for American independence: The letters between Day and Laurens are all from Laurens as follows: TD to HL, September 1, 1782, in vol. 15, p. 604; HL to TD, December 23, 1782; TD to HL, January 5, 1783; and TD to HL, June 29, 1783, in vol. 16, pp. 94–97, 116–123 and 221–223. TD briefly considered emigrating to the new United States but told Laurens that he would “rather be buried in the ruins of this my native country, than transplant my fortunes to another.” For general information on Day’s friendship with Henry Laurens see Stockdale (2005).

  224 Anningsley Park near Chertsey in Surrey: Kippis. Anningsley Park is described in Blackman, pp. 100–101; and WCB and TJR, Handbook of Chertsey and the Neighbourhood (Chertsey, 1870), pp. 76–79.

  224 “I have never expected any thing romantic”: TD to RLE, 1788, and RLE to TD, 1788, in Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 2, pp. 87–91.

  224 “Mr. Day’s austere simplicity of life”: Edgeworth, FA, pp. 11–12.

  224 “a tall man, with a grave and precise face”: Bulwer, pp. 20–21.

  225 He would eventually settle in America: Dick settled on the border of North Carolina and South Carolina and married Elizabeth Knight in 1788. They had three sons, Nathanial Lovell, Achilles Sneyd and Richard Lovell. Dick’s many descendants are scattered across America. See Edgar E. MacDonald (ed.), The Education of the Heart: the correspondence of Rachel Mordecai Lazarus and Maria Edgeworth (Chapel Hill, NC, 1977), p. 320.

  225 Dick would provide Jane Austen with the model: Austen, Jane, Persuasion (Harmondsworth, UK, 1965, first published 1818), pp. 76–77; Douthwaite, pp. 136–38. Douthwaite provides a fascinating portrait of Dick’s education as well as discussing Day’s efforts to educate Sabrina and Manon Roland’s attempt to educate her daughter Eudora according to Roussueau’s ideas.

  225 “He would sit quiet
ly while a child”: ME fondly describes her father’s methods of educating his children and their work together writing their educational manual in Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 2, pp. 180–84. Their commonsense approach is described in their enduringly valuable book, RLE and ME, Practical Education (2 vols., London, 1798). See also Douthwaite, Julia, “Experimental Child-rearing After Rousseau,” in Irish Journal of Feminist Studies, 2, no. 2 (1997), pp. 35–56; and Uglow, pp. 315–16. ME and RLE developed a loving and fruitful partnership. In letters to Maria, RLE would describe himself as “Your critic, partner, father, friend.” See RLE to ME, August 4, 1804, in Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 2, p. 353.

  226 As part of his lifelong interest in education: Edgeworth, RL and M, vol. 2, pp. 334–36; Josiah Wedgwood to ED, 1779, cited in Schofield, p. 132.

  226 The History of Sandford and Merton: TD (1783, 1786, 1789). I am indebted to Peter Rowland for his work in tracing references by various writers to Day’s book. Rowland, preface, pp. ix–x, 207–48 and 351. Thomas Beddoes describes Day being mobbed by young fans in Beddoes to Davies Giddy, November 21, 1791, cited in Stock, John Edmonds, Memoirs of T. Beddoes, MD, with an analytical account of his writings (London, Bristol, 1811), p. 38. For general information on Day as a children’s writer and his book see Doyle, Brian, The Who’s Who of Children’s Literature (London, 1969), pp. 70–72; and Immel, Andrea, “Thomas Day” in Zipes, Jack, ed., The Oxford Encyclopedia of Children’s Literature (4 vols., Oxford, 2006), vol. 1, p. 390. Barker-Benfield discusses how Sandford and Merton reflects contemporary ideas of sensibility: Barker-Benfield, pp. 150–53.

  227 Day’s children’s novel would be reprinted 140 times by 1870: Uglow, p. 322. The latest edition, with a new introduction and notes on the text, is TD, The History of Sandford and Merton, ed. Bending, Stephen and Bygrave, Stephen (Peterborough, ON, 2009).