Sound of Heartache ( Sound of Book 2)

by Roy, Chelsea

  Instead of hitting the Starbucks drive through like she normally did, she opted to park and go inside. She loved the location nearest to her house because it still had a couple of comfy lounge chairs to sit and read in. The Starbucks close to her work had tables and chairs that provided good surfaces to do work on but didn’t invite someone to sit and stay awhile in comfort. And right now, Aimee definitely needed comfort. She felt out of her depth and adrift from the normal course of her life.

  The way she felt right now made her sick to her stomach because it reminded her too much of those first few months on her own with Brenna. She had been terrified, alone, and exhausted. Although she was a relatively smart girl, she’d never really lived on her own and had never had another human being relying completely on her for their very existence. So many nights during Brenna’s first year had brought panic and tears, leading Aimee to question whether she had done the right thing for Brenna by keeping her.

  Aimee hated remembering that time. She had never shared with Brenna the confusion and desperation she had felt that first year and she never would. Brenna didn’t need to know how hard things had been for her mom. Finishing her drink, which included four shots of espresso instead of her normal two, she got back in line and ordered Brenna and Brent’s drinks.

  Glancing at the simple silver and black watch at her wrist, she realized almost thirty minutes had passed. Seeing Brent in the flesh was heart-stoppingly amazing but it was agonizing too. His eyes weren’t the same as she remembered. They were wary and cautious now where they used to be warm and open.

  Aimee considered her options. She knew Brent was terribly angry with her. Possibly the kind of angry a person wouldn’t ever be able to get over. She had never let herself consider anything other than a happy ending for them. The thought of spending the rest of her life with Brent’s disapproval hurt beyond belief. Unfortunately she couldn’t change the past, no matter how much she wished she could. She kept returning to the fact that she was going to have to give up on her dreams of reconciling with Brent and just let his relationship with Brenna develop naturally. The happy ever after that Aimee wanted to experience with Brent wasn’t going to happen. Logically she knew this. Unfortunately, her heart hadn’t yet gotten the memo.

  After picking up Brent and Brenna’s drinks from the bar, she drove home slowly. Aimee hated the thought of splitting Brenna’s time with Brent but she didn’t see any other way to be equitable to him. Brenna was going to visit him at his home without her mom. She was going to do things with him, vacation with him, without her mom. Aimee would bear it all with a smile because these things would mean the world to Brenna. And Brenna meant the world to her. Surely it was okay if Aimee felt the slightest bit of envy that Brenna got to spend time with someone as wonderful as Brent.

  Trying not to dissolve into hysterics, Aimee pulled into her garage. She loved her sporty little Lexus and had never given into the soccer mom mentality that required “good” moms drive minivans and SUVs. She only had the one child after all, and maybe it was selfish of her but she just couldn’t bring herself to give up having a fun and sporty car. It had been her one and only splurge when she was offered her first position as a treating physician and she had been on the receiving end of more than one snarky comment about her car.

  Grabbing the two drinks in their carrier, she headed into the kitchen. “Hey guys, I’m back!” She called out. She held onto the sweating drinks and listened for signs of life.

  “We’re in Brenna’s room, Aimee!” Brent called back. Aimee smiled a little. Brent sounded so happy. Hopefully going through Brenna’s book had softened his feelings toward her just the littlest bit. She popped into the room and smiled widely at the scene she found.

  Brent sat against the wall opposite the bed. His long jeans-clad legs were stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. Brenna was in a mirror image pose but her back leaned against the bed and the tips of her feet bumped along Brent’s legs.

  “Mom, did you know dad’s eyeliner is tattooed on?” Brenna exclaimed when she saw Aimee. Aimee laughed and handed her the drink.

  “I kind of guessed it was,” she told her daughter. Some people thought men with eyeliner looked effeminate. Aimee thought it looked smoking hot, especially on Brent. It did amazing things to his green eyes and made him look like he had sex on his mind at all times.

  “I didn’t even know you could get tattoos on your eyes!” Brenna took a long draw from drink.

  “Did it hurt?” Aimee asked Brent. She knew girls in college who’d done it but she had never asked how it felt to have done.

  “The first time it stung. I go every couple of years to get it freshened up. The black starts to fade after a while. But it doesn’t hurt anymore so that’s good.” Brent quirked his lips and gestured to Brenna’s drink. “Do I get one?” He asked.

  “Sorry!” Aimee exclaimed. She quickly handed him his iced latte. Their fingers brushed during the hand-off of the slippery cup and a tingle rushed up Aimee’s arm. Brent took a long drink, his Adam’s apple moving lazily as he swallowed. Aimee took a deep breath and blew it back out again. It felt like every little thing Brent did aroused her, which was grossly unfair. He smirked knowingly at her over the rim of his cup and she wanted to strangle him for his arrogance.

  “You...,” Aimee sputtered, “You are so damn arrogant!” Brent chuckled and Aimee gritted her teeth.

  “Dad liked my book, mama.” Aimee glanced over at her daughter and smiled tightly.

  “Did he now?” She asked, trying to reign in her runaway emotions. How was it that she couldn’t maintain a level head around him for even ten minutes?

  “Brenna’s book is amazing,” Brent told her, seeming completely sincere. She fidgeted at the praise.

  “I knew it would be important for you to see how she grew up.” Brent nodded. He took another long draw from his drink. Aimee felt silly standing up while he and Brenna were sitting, so she sank to the floor and propped her back against the wall across from them.

  “What prompted you to begin it?” He asked her. Aimee tugged on the ends of her ponytail. They were headed into deeply personal territory and this was information she hadn’t even shared with Brenna.

  “One of the first things I bought once I was on my own was a decent digital camera. I didn’t want to forget even a moment of Brenna’s life so I knew I’d need one to capture all the memories. It was a hard choice to make at the time – spending a couple hundred dollars on a silly camera versus buying baby diapers and stuff. But I had to do it.” Aimee paused, trying to gather her words.

  “I think you made the right choice,” Brent offered. Aimee nodded and twisted the tips of her hair into her fingers. The repetitious motion was comforting.

  “The minute Brenna was born I started snapping pictures. I didn’t have any one else in the delivery room to take the pictures when she was weighed and measured and all of that so as soon as they finished with me I was up and off the bed.” Aimee was glad she had pictures of that time because it was all a little fuzzy in her head. Giving birth had been incredibly painful and she’d pushed herself hard to fill the role of two people. She had insisted on taking pictures of Brenna as the nurses gave her a light sponge bath. One of the nurses, a petite slip of a thing, had finally taken Brenna’s camera and ordered her back to the bed, promising to take pictures of every single moment for her.

  “That must have been incredibly hard for you physically.” Aimee nodded.

  “It’s really one of the only good things about being a very young mom. Your body rebounds quicker than an older person’s. If I gave birth now I don’t think I’d be able to do the same things I did ten years ago.” Aimee knew she wouldn’t be able to. Pushing herself like that had exhausted her emotionally as well. She had never missed Brent more during those times and not reaching out to him had been incredibly hard. He would have come but it had been too risky. Her parents could have been hot on his heels and who knows what might have happened.

 
; “How long were you in the hospital?” Brent asked her. Aimee was finally able to smile a real smile.

  “Two days. I had this nurse who really took to Brenna and me. Chris. She made sure we stayed at the hospital an extra day so I was able to rest comfortably and have someone help me with Brenna. The nurse was this tiny little thing but she knew Brenna and I were all alone so she was fierce in her determination that we stay at the hospital.” The nurse had made sure to set Aimee up with formula, had snagged some extra diapers for her overnight bag, and had even slipped in some cute little pacifiers and a super soft, cuddly blanket. The generosity of the nurse had overwhelmed Aimee. When Aimee had finally left the hospital, she had been set for a week and was able to recover comfortably at home without leaving.

  “I know you’re a big believer of paying it forward,” Brent stated. Aimee nodded, unsurprised that he remembered. He had known her well and some things never changed.

  “Yeah. One of the last withdrawals I made from the account you set up for me went to help her.” She looked at Brent carefully, hoping he wouldn’t be upset by what she’d done.

  “I hope you did something good for her,” he muttered. “Hell, if she took such good care of the two of you, maybe I need to do something good for her.” Aimee nodded eagerly.

  “If anyone deserves it, it’s her. I stayed in contact with her and actually brought her on as a nurse in my practice. She’s phenomenal.”

  “So what did you do for her? You’re killing me!” Aimee laughed at Brent’s exasperated look.

  “I sat down with her at lunch one day and asked her what she’d want if she could have anything in the world. And do you know what she said?” Aimee asked rhetorically.

  “Obviously not. I’m on the edge of my fricking seat here Aims.”

  “She said she’d buy her parents a dream vacation to the Caribbean. She didn’t want anything for herself. She told me her parents had worked hard to put her through college so she didn’t have to worry about student loans.” Aimee paused. Chris was such a humble, thoughtful human being. It was rare to come across someone like her. “So anyway, I bought her parents a two week trip to the Caribbean. It was an amazing vacation package. Four and five star hotels, everything paid for. And I made sure I bought Chris and her husband the same exact package so they could all vacation together if they wanted.”

  “That’s a hell of a thing to do, babe.” Aimee’s heart fluttered at Brent’s casual use of an endearment.

  “They really had a great time. I’ve never been so happy to spend money on someone else. Chris and her family really deserve every good thing possible.” Aimee truly had zero regret in spending what amounted to a small fortune on the tiny woman and her family. If it hadn’t been for Chris, Aimee would have been lost and completely lonely when she left the hospital with her tiny Brenna.

  “Mom, can dad stay here again tonight?” Brenna asked out of the blue. Aimee flushed when she realized their daughter had been hanging on every word. She didn’t mind Brenna knowing the story, she just didn’t want her motives to be seen for anything other than what they were. A true desire to pay it forward to a wonderful woman.

  “Oh…” Aimee rapidly searched her brain for any excuse plausible enough to fool her daughter as to why Brent couldn’t stay. “He probably needs to get back to his band. I’m sure they have another stop coming up and things to do to get ready.” She glanced over at Brent again, silently pleading with him to back her up. Having him stay in her home last night had been hard enough. A second night would be torture. Aimee knew she was in for it, though, because Brent was smiling unrepentantly.

  “Nope. Nothing planned, so I’m free. We’ve actually got a break for a few weeks. The band tries not to schedule back to back shows since Jack and Ellie had little Elliot.” Aimee cringed at the perverse pleasure in Brent’s voice. He knew she was uncomfortable with the situation and was delighting in it.

  “Well, I guess if you want to stay here, you can.” She offered grudgingly. Brent laughed openly at her and Brenna joined in delightedly, not realizing her parents were in a silent war of wills.

  “Mom, it’s so awesome that dad can stay! Isn’t it? Won’t this be the best?” Brenna was oblivious to the undercurrents in the room. Aimee rolled her eyes, knowing her daughter couldn’t see her.

  “Oh yes. It’ll be just great.” Aimee couldn’t disguise her lack of enthusiasm. Brent waggled his eyebrows at her and she huffed out a breath. His eyes positively glowed with mirth.

  “Thank you for being so gracious, Aimee. I can’t wait to stay another night with you guys.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Brent didn’t care if reveling in Aimee’s discomfort made him the world’s biggest dick, because he couldn’t seem to stop himself from needling her. She was leaving herself wide open for shots that he couldn’t resist taking. He truly did want to be around his daughter, but getting under Aimee’s skin and flustering the hell out of her was an added perk. He used to know all the right buttons to push to get Aimee to react and it wasn’t too much of an effort to get back up to speed.

  During the time he had spent alone with Brenna while Aimee ran to Starbucks, he had been proudly informed that she was off school for the summer. Brenna had also thrown in the fact that Aimee had to work in the morning on the following day, thereby leaving Brenna at loose ends. He knew she was broadly hinting that they’d be free to spend the day together if he wanted. He was touched that she was so interested in knowing him and had decided to make plans with her before checking with Aimee. He was hoping Aimee would be a little forgiving on his eagerness and wouldn’t bash him too hard for deciding on things prior to checking with her.

  “You guys wanna order pizza?” He asked, his question not aimed at anyone in particular.

  Aimee had just finished putting fresh sheets on the bed in the guest room for him. After finally falling into a restless sleep on the couch last night and only getting a couple of hours of sleep, Brent could use a good night’s sleep on a comfortable bed. He appreciated Aimee taking the time to make sure he was settled in her home.

  “We can’t go out?” Brenna asked him hopefully. Brent smiled and hooked his arm around her slim shoulders.

  “Sweetie, I don’t have any of my stuff with me and I’m pretty recognizable when I go out without it.” Brenna pouted up at him and Brent immediately hated the feeling of disappointing her. “I’ll have my stuff from the hotel delivered tomorrow, okay? After it comes, we can probably go out.”

  “What kind of ‘stuff’ are you talking about dad?” Brenna asked curiously. Brent smiled. He loved her curiosity about his life.

  “I always carry stuff to make me look different than when I get up on stage. Beanies. Sun glasses. Hats. Make-up to cover tattoos.” As far as he was concerned, those things were standard gear for trying to hide in plain sight.

  “Pizza sounds good Brent,” Aimee interjected. He smiled gratefully. He had an ally in Aimee and he needed to remember that. Parenting was already hard work and he barely even had his toes in the water.

  “Any particular kind?” He asked. He was a guy, he liked pizza however it came. Admittedly, he’d never tried anchovies but he didn’t know anyone else who liked it that way so he was pretty sure pizza with anchovies was a myth.

  “I’ll order it, dad. I know who to call.” Brenna sounded very grown-up and authoritative. “And we always get bacon, pineapple, and ham on ours.” Brent’s gaze slashed over to Aimee’s. That had been their standard pizza order. He knew lots of people probably ordered their pizza that way but it meant something to him that Aimee kept their tradition going with Brenna. He was figuring out nothing with Aimee was what it seemed to be.

  “That sounds great.” He told her, trying not to make a big deal about the discovery. He kept his eyes on Aimee as Brenna left the room, presumably to go call in the pizza.

  “You’re good with her,” Aimee said, before he could say anything. He frowned, not wanting to be deterred.

  “I don’t u
nderstand you at all.” He told her. Aimee frowned back.

  “What don’t you understand?” Her words were quiet but that didn’t make her tone any less sharp.

  “It’s clear you were honest with Brenna about who I was. Jesus, you even helped her create a story of her life with the express intent of giving it to me. It seems like you kept up our traditions and passed them along to her. Why the hell would you keep her away from me if you’ve gone to such great lengths to have her know about me?” Brent was honestly baffled. Usually when one parent withheld a child from another, it was because they were worried the parent was bad or unfit to be around the child. Or because the relationship between the parents had ended disastrously. Neither was the case here.

  “This wasn’t the first time I tried to contact you.” Aimee blurted out. Brent straightened and moved so he sat next to her on the sofa.

  “What?” He said. “When did you try?” He didn’t mean to sound disbelieving, but she must not have tried very damn hard. He’d been there all along, waiting for her to come back.

  “Brenna was three. You had just increased the deposit amounts into the bank account and I wanted you to know what the money was going for. I wanted you to know about Brenna. And I missed you so damn bad. I was hoping you would forgive me and we could all be together.” Aimee’s eyes filled with tears and she twisted her hands together in her lap. Brent did some quick math in his head. Six years ago put him in a really ugly place in his life and he knew instinctively that had something to do with why they were just coming together now. Brent tipped her chin up so she was looking into his eyes.

  “What happened?” He pressed.